Automotive idiot stories...

[Matra et Alpine]

Originally Posted by Falcon500

Hey matra i was just wondering if you had any information about MATRA maeking a v12?...iwas talking to some jack ass from canada who believes he has one im curious to know if such a beast ever existed....i have my doubts...and hes makeing claims of 720hp

The answer's yes and possibly.
The V12 was used in the Le Mans sportscars and the F1 cars.


I knew guy who raced a 650 in UK and he swapped out the V12 as he couldn't get ANY support, no spare parts and limited life on the running engine.
These things are VERY rare.
IF the guy has it, ask him what he wants for it
This is what it sounds like .... http://www.matrasport.dk/Gallery1/So...50_mf_pass.mp3

[Falcon500]

Well i doubt he has one and he seems to be rather a dim chap and refers to me as a nerd becausei cant talk to people on an intelctual level (youll be suprised how many intelligent people there are in teen chat) and im also apprently a nerd because i can jar him at nearly every instance on cars....lat night i was haveing some fun with him and made him believe this engine he claims to have in his 3000gt is made by renault (i was on the scotch last night and i found it excedingly funny...it was even funnier he bought it ) and he says he spent in the vicinty of around $7000 for the engine and the mods to put the engine in this mitsubishi
Ok ill post the first conversation ive had withthis bloke his name is supermikey...i think youll guess which one is me andi apologise in advance for allthe profanitys.
nismo_ec joined the room
nismo_ec: Hello Everyone
nismo_ec: im im really bored
magpie_302: id be bored too driving a nissan
supermikey16_69: NIssans lmao
supermikey16_69: Id never drive a Nissan even if my life depended on it
magpie_302: oh ki own a datsun its my second car
supermikey16_69: never heard of a datsun
supermikey16_69: must be from a different country
magpie_302: Datsun you know the brand name that was superscieded by nissan
supermikey16_69: never heard of em
lukismness: nissan bluebird gl owns u all
magpie_302: nah 240Zs are cool
supermikey16_69: Im Canadian, i dont think we get those cars here
supermikey16_69: I drive my own car
supermikey16_69: hopefully it wont break down by summer
supermikey16_69: again
magpie_302: datsun 240Z best selling sports car in the 70s
supermikey16_69: oooh lol
nismo_ec: lol
nismo_ec: i dont like 240Zs personaly, but alot of people do
magpie_302: i dont like skylines but a lot of people do
supermikey16_69: i hate skylines
supermikey16_69: Drive a Mitsubishi!
magpie_302: i collect crash photos of skylines i have around 30
lukismness: honda prelude
magpie_302: i used to work for a mitsubishi dealer
supermikey16_69: kooo kooo
supermikey16_69: i drive a Mitsubishi
nismo_ec: i drive a (dont wanna say, cos you dont like em)
magpie_302: even more recently i used to work for a bmw dealer
supermikey16_69: okay dont say it then
slicknick64: volkswagon is honestly the most dependable car on the market
lukismness: honda prelude, falcon xr6, toyota supra, mitsubishi gto, nissan 340 zx (or whatever)
supermikey16_69: kooo kooo
magpie_302: **** the prelude and **** volkswagon
supermikey16_69: 0-60 in 3.3 with a heavy ass car, iz pretty damm good
magpie_302: preludes are shit
lukismness: nah dude
lukismness: u r shit
lukismness: but my xr6 is gonna kick ass
magpie_302: no your shit preludes are ****ing gay
supermikey16_69: I dunno
nismo_ec left the room
supermikey16_69: oh well, Ladies, if you like guys with a nice and fast convertable, with fat subs, speak wit me
magpie_302: stuff the subs mate they aint needed
supermikey16_69: **** that
lukismness: stfu fagpie
supermikey16_69: Need ****in Sound
supermikey16_69: ****in tear up tha streets wit tha shit
magpie_302: yeah you dont need subs that vibrate the ****ing car
supermikey16_69: yes you do
supermikey16_69: well thats if you do drugs, have a lotta friends and girls, then yes you do
magpie_302: no you dont not only is it illeagal but a waste of money
supermikey16_69: cuz then your a loner
supermikey16_69: haha stupid bogans
magpie_302: nope im no loner i actually spend money on the engine
supermikey16_69: yeah well my engine is already the biggest it can get
supermikey16_69: ****in V12
magpie_302: all affordable v12s are small
supermikey16_69: oh yeah, by the way, my car iz a 1999 Mitsubishi 3000gt Spyder
supermikey16_69: V12 engine
magpie_302: with a v12?
supermikey16_69: 720 Hp
supermikey16_69: yepp
magpie_302: yea sure i beliveve you
supermikey16_69: You should, cuz i got it installed for me 3 months ago
magpie_302: whatkind of v12?
supermikey16_69: costing me a shitload of ****in money
supermikey16_69: I dont know that kinda shit, i dont pay attention to what kind of shit i got
supermikey16_69: alls i asked the mechanic iz if he could order me a V12
supermikey16_69: he looked at my vehicle
supermikey16_69: he said okay
magpie_302: yeah so in other words you dont ****ing have one and you a poser
supermikey16_69: then like 4 weeks later he called me up
supermikey16_69: brought my car in
magpie_302: is the car engineered?
supermikey16_69: and left it there for a good few days
supermikey16_69: yeppp
supermikey16_69: i watched some of the stuff he was doing
supermikey16_69: he changed some master tube shit
supermikey16_69: and he extrended my car
supermikey16_69: and some wiring
magpie_302: ok then you should have a nice big engineers certificate you should have several copies of and it will state exactly what your car has had done to it
supermikey16_69: so my car iz like Right long now lol
supermikey16_69: I dont care, government took away my car from me already lol
supermikey16_69: got it back tho
magpie_302: so what kind of gearbox you got?
supermikey16_69: wtf iz a gear box
supermikey16_69: Im not a Hardcore nerd dude
supermikey16_69: i just buy the shit
magpie_302: your a dick truely you are
magpie_302: you dont even own a ****ing car do you
supermikey16_69: Dude, were not all hardcore like you are, and your sitting there getting pissed about that
magpie_302: im not getting pissed your the best ****ing laugh ive had all night
supermikey16_69: no wonder why your such a ****in loser
supermikey16_69: LoL cuz i dont know what a gearbox iz
magpie_302: im the looser? your the one whos lieing about your car
supermikey16_69: Dude, you cant even afford a bike so stfu
magpie_302: well if you drive its common knowlage to know how to shift gears there is no car on the market nowdays that I know that is direct drive
supermikey16_69: And yes i do own a car, a better car than you'll ever have
magpie_302: i can afford 2 cars thank you very much 
supermikey16_69: Well Obviously I know how to shift
magpie_302: im sure it is with it imaginary v12 and no gearbox
supermikey16_69: I dont know the names of that shit
magpie_302: keep talking mate im having trouble breathing im laughing so hard
supermikey16_69 left the room

As you can see hes as blunt as a chisel after a year 7 wood work class!

[carlover]

Originally Posted by Matra et Alpine

The answer's yes and possibly.
The V12 was used in the Le Mans sportscars and the F1 cars.

I knew guy who raced a 650 in UK and he swapped out the V12 as he couldn't get ANY support, no spare parts and limited life on the running engine.
These things are VERY rare.
IF the guy has it, ask him what he wants for it
This is what it sounds like .... http://www.matrasport.dk/Gallery1/So...50_mf_pass.mp3

Woah... That sounds AMAZING.

[Matra et Alpine]

Originally Posted by carlover

Woah... That sounds AMAZING.

And that was from 20 years AFTER they raced at Le Mans.
They're not taken to their max revs any more.
Imagine the sound with an extra 1000 rpm on the top

[Spastik_Roach]

That guy...stupidmikey... What a total gooner . A V12 Gearless Mitsubishi, that makes my idea of a Mini with a Cadillac Sixteen engine and a Bugatti engine and twin Rolls Royce Jet Engines sound real!

Has he even evolved from an ape? He is obviously sub-human.

[carlover]

My sister is probaly the worst driver on earth... You want to know how bad? Let's just say that if she owned a BMW she would fit right in...

[carlover]

The best lines are

supermikey16_69: Id never drive a Nissan even if my life depended on it
magpie_302: oh ki own a datsun its my second car
supermikey16_69: never heard of a datsun
supermikey16_69: must be from a different country
magpie_302: Datsun you know the brand name that was superscieded by nissan
supermikey16_69: never heard of em

and

magpie_302: so what kind of gearbox you got?
supermikey16_69: wtf iz a gear box
supermikey16_69: Im not a Hardcore nerd dude
supermikey16_69: i just buy the shit
magpie_302: your a dick truely you are

Really funny, just goes to show you how stupid some people are.

[megotmea7]

i especially like this one...

supermikey16_69: i watched some of the stuff he was doing
supermikey16_69: he changed some master tube shit
supermikey16_69: and he extrended my car
supermikey16_69: and some wiring

lmao "master tube"

[Falcon500]

I probly should of asked him what kind of blinker fluid he was now running with all the performance gear he has on his direct drive mitsubishi The funny thing is im a nerd and hes cool because i know stuff about cars and hes clueless...ive talked with him a few times after that and he has changed his story slightly...now it has manual gearbox...he ignored my queastion of how many gears and he was also talking about it breaking down so i asked again? and he said something like "Dude this is the first time it broke down" and my response was "Yeah sure dood i have written proof that you said it broke down before" he left soon after that so to top it off hes not even consistant...

[Zambia]

This is a good trick . if you have a stereo with the controlled by the right indicator stick. Have the passenger pretend to higher and lower the volume by saying Volume"UP or Volume Down while you actually higher and lower the volume with the stick.

See what idiot of a passenger tries to do the same thing from the back seat, this works far more times than you would think......sad

[Gabman]

I was talking to this dude about the Mazda 1.8 V6, and we agree that it is way too small for a V6. He's like; "Yeah, most V6s are 2.7 or 3.1"... 3.1? That's new to me...

Another day he said "I would really like a car with 300hp for one day." I then asked if he meant for one day only, or just some day in his life own a 300hp car. "No, just for one day only." I didn't bother asking why.

When he had seen The Fast and the Furious, he was talking about NOS all the time, except he couldn't help himself pronouncing it NAAAAAAAAAAWWWWSSSS. Also, he though that it was possible to gain 900hp in a Golf (That's 90hp tops org.) only using NOS.

God I hate that fella.

[KnifeEdge_2K1]

lol 900hp in anything will make it oversteer/understeer *depends on drivetrain* like mad when entering a corner without braking like hell, which would prolly require big ass disk brakes and larger wheels to accomodate them ... all in all the golf gains about a ton/tonne worth of equipment

dont take anything i just said seriously i know it aint possible and even if it was ... who dumb enuff to do it?

newayz, funniest thing i've ever heard was some guy say he switched out his inline 6 with a radial engine with twin turbo's, which is strange considering radial engines are usually used for planes ... and also most radial engines have 4 banks of cylinders ... twin turbo's aint enuff to feed that many banks ...

[v8killer]

I haven't read every single post but I think my story would top everything.

There's a Japanese comic called Initial D about down hill driving. In one chapter the main charater wins a race by turning off his lights at night so his oppoenent couldn't see him and therefore couldn't block him.

A guy tried this on a down hill stretch. Unfortunately his skill wasn't quite up to it and he drove his car right off the hill. Luckily he was ok.

[crisis]

Originally Posted by KnifeEdge_2K1

newayz, funniest thing i've ever heard was some guy say he switched out his inline 6 with a radial engine with twin turbo's, which is strange considering radial engines are usually used for planes ... and also most radial engines have 4 banks of cylinders ... twin turbo's aint enuff to feed that many banks ...

You may have topped him. Radial engines are enormous so wouldnt fit in many cars. Maybe on. Radial engines were used in planes and in those Everglades style swamp boats. Im sure someone would have attempted a conversion of sorts and grafted one onto a car at some stage. Its almost too tempting for someone not too have. Not many around these days though. They are at least 8 Cylinders in most cases ( Although the really old ones had five I think )and a maximum of two banks generally. There may have been a 4 bank set up but it would have been an experimental or odd ball aircraft. This peanut was probably talking about a rotary and would most probably have been lying anyway considering his innacurate description.

[Matra et Alpine]

Originally Posted by KnifeEdge_2K1

newayz, funniest thing i've ever heard was some guy say he switched out his inline 6 with a radial engine with twin turbo's, ..

I'm guessing he meant rotary.
Even so, the story's still funny for that