E-Bay Anti-rice subwoofer description (Hilarious!)

[Egg Nog]

This is from ebay, but I found it on another site. Don't be lazy; Take the time to read it...it's worth your time.


"You are bidding on a 600 Watt AMP + 2, twelve inch MTX subwoofers in an enclosed box. This system is pretty sweet, its got loud distinct bass, nothing to obscene, if you have an SUV or a truck this is perfect, it comes prewired already, just enough to feel your music, but not to irritate anyone else, or you can if you tweak it, or if your a loser who drives a Civic with a type R sticker, racing stripes, blasting really bad rap music through your suburban area with your pretentious "I’m 21 but I’m still in high school girlfriend" while driving with your hand up on the top of the steering wheel exposing your underdeveloped pasty white vitamin deficient arm and wearing your backwards BS upside down visor hat while feeling the tacky as a "Florida vacation" single diamond earring in your ear, If you are this person...with any luck the sun in its precise celestial positioning as you putter on by...will reflect its scorching rays into your earring, bouncing intensely in your rearview, and finally making contact with your eyes through the thin cheap lense of $5 gas station Oakley rip off glasses.. then burning your retnal cones into smoldering melting gobs of ocular material as you are blinded by the purest form of energy in our known universe, and as you scream no one can help or hear you because they don’t know what’s going on since the weed whacker sound of your shitty tiny little muffler which makes the Civic sound like a 747 rages on underneath making everyone turn at disgust and comment to thier husbands or wives how much of a dickweed you are by attaching that automotive abnormality to your stock economical daily driver engineered by Japanese Automotive specialists to fit the needs for entry level business workers in their early 30's, however your pathetic looking $11,000 car which you want to look like a friggin spaceship with redundant ground effects is now out of control since you are blinded, and as your car plunges off the side of a cliff while you scream in the purest form of terror while knowing you have lived a horrid excuse for a life, by doing the bare minimum in every facet of existence, while getting fired from one pathetic job to another, the majority of your time spent slacking smoking dope, getting kicked out of school, polishing your "game" on sweet innocent underage girls you eventually 'de flower' through exhaustive yet succesful attempts to get the date rapist drugs you have stashed in the glove compartment, into your poor victims drinks while offering them to take the "Pepsi Challenge" while making your mother hate you, and your poor father who wishes he had a daughter instead of your pathetic ass, since a girl would be more of a man than you ever were, like the occasion when you were hit in the arm by a wild pitch in little league, then you cried like a fat kid who dropped his ice cream cone, I'm already envisioning you impacting the rocks below, in a spectacular fireball ignited from the residue hairspray from your girlfriend plastered in the fabric passenger seat, blinded by your earring, deafened by the loud "Bling Blingin", and I will smile and roll around on the ground in orgasmic delight while you are consumed by flames whose intense heat and fury will liquefy your bone marrow that I will use to make jelly beans out of and eat them happily at your funeral as midgets dressed like Alex 6005321 from "A Clockwork Orange" dance around your coffin to loud industrial style techno music and strobe lights, and I will sleep soundly at night knowing another successful conquest of Darwinism has been attained. So...you can either use the system I'm selling like the fore- mentioned guy did, or you can buy it from this Cadet and use it properly and enjoy the compliments people will give you as you pass and let them listen to your outstanding taste in fine diverse music."

[Spastik_Roach]

That pretty sums up the average ricer. That guy should publish what he said, and to think if one ricer reads it, it might start a chain reaction with all the ricers, like little penguins being knocked down.

[ZerK]

That guy deserves a medal.

[Brabus of Doom]

Ha, although he lost buisness....

[Batmobile_Turbo]

IMO Civic Type Rs aren't crappy "damn ricer cars" only when they are painted a neon color and have Nitro put in them along with an over done body kit and spoiler then it's a ricer.
that whole thing really summed up the idiot "fast 'n' furious" type of people though, the actual car doesn't do the work it is all the nitro they use.
good article

[Egg Nog]

Originally Posted by Batmobile_Turbo

IMO Civic Type Rs aren't crappy "damn ricer cars" only when they are painted a neon color and have Nitro put in them along with an over done body kit and spoiler then it's a ricer.
that whole thing really summed up the idiot "fast 'n' furious" type of people though, the actual car doesn't do the work it is all the nitro they use.
good article

He wasn't referring to a Civic type-R, he was referring to a stock standard Civic with a type-R sticker on it

[Smoke]

Did he really post that on the item discreption?

[Batmobile_Turbo]

Originally Posted by Egg Nog

He wasn't referring to a Civic type-R, he was referring to a stock standard Civic with a type-R sticker on it

oh, i see.
hee, i watched 'the fast and the furious' and it was really dumb, only because of the crappy cars that couldn't beat any other real car without Nitrus Oxide.

[Falcon500]

That was actually quite poetic....should make a song out of that.

[Shinobi]

That's it? Not very impressive to me. He tried to use big, meaningful words and sound intelligent, but the whole thing is one huge run-on sentence. Plus there's numerous grammar errors and spelling mistakes.

It was a lame attempt at being funny, in my opinion.

[crisis]

Originally Posted by Shinobi

That's it? Not very impressive to me. He tried to use big, meaningful words and sound intelligent, but the whole thing is one huge run-on sentence. Plus there's numerous grammar errors and spelling mistakes.

It was a lame attempt at being funny, in my opinion.

Honda fan are you? By the way the correct syntax is "There are numerous grammatical errors and spelling mistakes." Sorry, hate to be picky.

[Shinobi]

Not at all, I hate rice as much as anyone. And I'm not the one trying to use big words and sound intelligent, he is. Just kind of took away from the whole attitude he was trying to send out, IMO.