the 1-line thread

[The Tuner]

now this is how its gonna be:
post the best lines uve ever heard here. dont matter if its a quote or a joke (or, as in the case of a certain president, usually both ). jus make sure tht ure posts are one-liners ONLY. (rep points may be deducted for those postin more than one-line jokes! )

im gonna start by postin junaman's sig, coz he was the one who inspired me to do this...(+1 for u dude...)

"A Higher voter turnout means that more people are going to the polls"

"Teachers are the only proffesion that teach our children"

lets see wat u got....

ps: sum1 had mentioned startin a thread like this in sum other thread. who was it?

[IBrake4Rainbows]

this may be more than 1 line, but it's still pretty gross, yet strangely compelling....
it is from Comedian Lee Mack:

"Australia has funny ways of pronouncing things. You say "Shrimps on a barby" English people say "Yoghurt". You have Vegemite, we have Yoghurt. You use proper lubricants for sex.........."

don't deduct for that, i'll even it out....

"I know how hard it is to put food on my family". The infamous GWB, weapon of mass grammatical errrorrs

[Egg Nog]

"The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw." -Jack Handey

[eyebrows]

they say you are what you eat, so by tomorrow i plan to be you- Nick Gianopoulos (actor in the wog boy, its an aussie movie for those who don't know it)

[junaman]

In a recent survey 9/10 Americans agreed that 1/10 Americans would disagree with them

Imagination is the only weapon in the war agai

[junaman]

Mistress - Someone between a mister and a matress

[Egg Nog]

"Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics"

[Spastik_Roach]

A man walked into a bar and said owch.

[ZerK]

"While adjusting for wind resistance, hamsters often taste of cheese"

[henk4]

George W. Bush is the best US president the world has ever seen

[UK CARS]

Originally Posted by henk4

George W. Bush is the best US president the world has ever seen

ahh please dont make me laugh!

[NoOne]

5 out of 4 people have problems with fractions.

[NoOne]

My parents favourite sayings:

"If you poke your eye out, don't come looking for me"

"If you break your leg, don't come running to me"

"If you had ½ a brain more, it'd die of loneliness"

.....hmmm anyone wanna buy a set of parents?

[Homem de Gelo]

"English mother****er, do you speak it?!"

[byronleehk]

Originally Posted by henk4

George W. Bush is the best US president the world has ever seen

Hahahahaha.....

"He who stands on a toilet is high on pot"