Torque rant

[PerfAdv]

A day in the life....of a guy who loved torque.

He would wake up early as the world torqued a revolution and brought in the sunshine. While getting up out of bed, he torqued his back one way then the other, saying, "dang mattress' got no beef". In the shower he torqued the knobs just so, to get the right temp. On his way out, he torqued both the handle and key for the front door. In the car, again torqued the key first in the door and then the ignition. He could have used the remote to get in the car but why miss a good opportunity to torque. He eased out of his drive way modulating the torque from his car as he didn't want to wake the neighbors with an awesome display of torque, wheelspins he commanded with a touch of his toe. Once out of his neighborhood he put a little pressure on the go pedal and relished in the torque as his machine lurched forward with menacing abruptness(OooooohhhhYaaaaahhh!!!). A mist was rising from the corner coffee shop and the wonderful smell of fresh baked bread drew him in. Once inside he ordered his favorite, turguey strips with eggs and some coffee. After finising the grub he relaxed a little as he looked over the paper, scanning to see if there were any torque related victories in motorsports. Alas, maybe another day.

Back on the road and inching through rush hour traffic he didn't miss a single opportunity to use the massive torque his vehicle possessed to keep up and occasionally outdo fellow motorists. Ah, another day at the office. He worked for a manufacturer of custom torque converters. They made high stall torque convertors. He worked in the customer service department and would handle incoming calls about people with questions about torque converters. So most the day was spent talking torque with strangers, which suited him just fine. There were the calls that he hated with a passion, from guys who'd complain the torque converter allowed such a high-speed engagement, that the torque from the motor badly torqued up the tranny. He'd explain that it wasn't the torque converters fault but they just wouldn't listen. In the end he knew that the fine print had him covered. As it stated, any damage resulting from the installation and use of the torque converter, the company could not be held responsible. The CS dept. was notorious for having a revolving door spinning with hopeful newbies and torque burnouts(pun intended). His boss loved him. 'Mr. Torque', as he was known, was a seventeen year veteran. The hallways were lined with many pictures of him posing with the latest and greatest torque converters. He was also the proud owner of a chrome-plated torque converter, showcased in the lobby trophy case as it was the millionth one made. At lunch he enjoyed the cafeteria special, smoked turquey sandwich. Back to work, the call volumes were down so its off to browsing the web for torque memorabilia. He had certain sites bookmarked and would frequent these. "Yes!" he exclaimed, the movie he'd been waiting for was finally out on DVD. Torque, the warner bros. movie with the hyperbikes. He had seen the movie several times in the theater and already had several posters and mugs. A few more calls brougth in the end of the work day.

On the drive home it was more torque shenanigans, each one a cherished monent. At home his sweet wife was making some chili in the kitchen, he snuck up behind her and gave her a peck on the cheek. He wasn't a bad guy, just a little crazy when it came to torque. He told her stop torquing the chili so much otherwise it'll turn to paste, as he plopped on the couch. She turned and gave him that look. She warned him not to use that word another time all evening otherwise he'd be sleeping on the couch. He gave her a mousy smile and turned on the TV. "Yes!" he exclaimed, 'Tunin' big blocks for torque' was on. A week long special-feature on 'Big Block Fever', a D-Dishnet only channel. The couch it would be, he thought to himself as this was going to be a torque extravaganza. Doomed to the couch, he yelled "Honey, can I get some turquey with my chili" as he sank in for the evening....




**I too enjoy a healthy dose of torque, but "everything in moderation" is truly a golden principle. Next time, a day in the life of....a torque-phobic.

[jcp123]

I'm a torque freak myself. Only got about 300lb-ft right now, but you'd never know it since it's diluted through a slushbox tranny and then further wasted with a 2.73:1 rear end ratio. So I'm down for more. I think 450 is a reasonable limit for a daily driver.

[Esperante]

lol, funny story.

[d-quik]

Originally Posted by jcp123

I'm a torque freak myself. Only got about 300lb-ft right now, but you'd never know it since it's diluted through a slushbox tranny and then further wasted with a 2.73:1 rear end ratio. So I'm down for more. I think 450 is a reasonable limit for a daily driver.

Have you proved the ownership of your cars in the board?

[jcp123]

Originally Posted by d-quik

Have you proved the ownership of your cars in the board?

Not yet, nobody asked. Besides which, I didn't take it to college with me, so you'll have to wait till after the weekend of the 22nd which is when I'll be home next. But I can do it if you want.

[The Tuner]

id be interested to see it...wich car do u have? and wat kind of a driver are u?