Funny Jokes ... WARNING: may offend

[Ferrer]

Originally Posted by f6fhellcat13

Oi vey
I noticed there was a "Ferrer" on there, but I don't think he's our Ferrer.

I personally think a raised estate car is a stupid idea.

[syko]

This site is awesome

not always right

Me: “Good morning, what can I do for you?”

Customer: “Well, a few of my friends have been talking about this ‘internet’ thing. Is it any good?”

Me: “Yes, it is very useful. I use it all the time.”

Customer: “Oh, good.” *pulls something from his pocket*

Customer: “Could you put it on to this floppy disc for me, please?”

Me: “The entire Internet?”

Customer: “Yes, please!”

[cmcpokey]

syko, that site is fantastic. thanks for directing me to it.

[Blue Supra]

Originally Posted by cmcpokey

syko, that site is fantastic. thanks for directing me to it.

seconded, have spent like 45 mins reading it lol

[LTSmash]

[f6fhellcat13]

I know it takes the fun out of the joke, but could somebody explain that one for me?

[whiteballz]

Its aussie tennis c*nt Lleyton Hewitt.

[IBrake4Rainbows]

Lleyton Hewitt.

Google is your friend.

[Pug]

A family are driving down a motorway following a white van when it goes over a bump and the doors start to flap open. They tried to get his attention when things started flying out from the back, it was Ann Summers merchandise and all of a sudden, the parents felt a bit uncomfortable with the kids in the back. There was lingerie and little sex aids flying past the car when WHAM! i a huge 'toy' hit the windscreen and flew over the car, dad looked at mum and said 'well that was a strange looking insect' to which the little boy turned around and said 'i know dad, with a dick that big its a wonder it can fly at all!'

[clutch-monkey]

ERtards: Documenting the antics in the emergency room.

Best reasoning for possibly having H1N1: "I've got erectile dysfunction, does that mean I have swine flu?" I'm thinking: "how the **** are the two related?"

Patient comes in with a chief complaint of his penis turned orange. Sure enough, the head of his penis is bright orange. I ask him what he has been doing, he explains, nothing, just sitting around all day eating cheetos and watching porn.

Patient comes into ER for a vibrator stuck in his Ass. The ER physician can feel the vibrations coming through the man's abdomen and cannot retrieve it so he consults a surgeon who comes in to see patient and takes him for surgery. Just prior to the surgery, The surgeon asks the patient "alright when I get in here do you want me to remove it or change the batteries!" ****ing hilarious and I love this surgeon.

[clutch-monkey]

Car Modifications | Cracked.com

[LTSmash]

So a priest, a rabbi, and a black man walk into a bar.

And the bartender yells, “Get the f*ck out!”

[f6fhellcat13]

Craigslist Ad By A Horrid Excuse for a Human Being - craigslist ad - Gizmodo

[clutch-monkey]

Woman in labour shouting and screaming as usual, "get this out of me, give me drugs." She turns to the boyfriend and says, "You did this to me you ****er." He replied casually, "If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse but you said, '**** off, it'll be too painful,'..... now who's laughing."

[clarkdavid]

The Super Computer stood at the end of the Computer Company's production line. At which point the guided tour eventually arrived. The salesman stepped forward to give his prepared demo.

"This", he said, "is the Super Computer. It will give an intelligent answer to any question you may care to ask it".

At which a Clever Guest stepped forward - there is always one - and spoke into the Computer's microphone.

"Where is my father?" he asked.

There was a whirring of wheels and flashing of lights that the manufacturers always use to impress lay people, and then a little card popped out.

On it were printed the words: Fishing off Goa.

Clever Guest laughed.

"Actually", he said, "My father is dead"!

It had been a tricky question! The salesman, carefully chosen for his ability to think fast on his feet, immediately replied that he was sorry the answer was unsatisfactory, but as computers were precise, perhaps he might care to rephrase his question and try again?

Clever Guest thought, went to the Computer and this time said, "Where is my mother's husband?"

Again there was a whirring of wheels and a flashing of lights. And again a little card popped out. Printed on it were the words, "Dead. But your father is still fishing off Goa.

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