Bush's Resume

[Ferrari Tifosi]

RESUME
George W. Bush
The White House, USA

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE

LAW ENFORCEMENT: I was arrested in Kennebunkport,
Maine in 1976 for driving under the influence of
alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my
driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas
driving record has been "lost" and is not available.

MILITARY: I joined the Texas Air National Guard and
went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any
questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air
National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in
Vietnam.

COLLEGE: I graduated from Yale University. I was a
cheerleader.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.
I began my career in the oil business in Midland,
Texas in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't
find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt
shortly after I sold all my stock.

I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a
sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.

With the help of my father and our right-wing friends
in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I
was elected Governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR:
I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil
companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the
Union.

During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the
most smog-ridden city in America.

I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the
tune of billions in borrowed money.

I set the record for the most executions by any
Governor in American history.

With the help of my brother, the Governor of Florida,
and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I
became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing
cost of over one billion dollars per week.

I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted
the U.S. Treasury.

I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit
in U.S. history.

I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies
filed in any 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the
history of the U.S. stock market.

I am the first president in U.S. history to enter
office with a criminal record.

I set the the all-time record for most days on
vacation in any one year period.

After taking-off the entire month of August, I
presided over the worst security failure in
U.S.history.

I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical
Bunker Buster," a WMD.

In my State Of The Union Address, I lied about our
reasons for attacking Iraq, then blamed the lies on
our British friends.

I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips
by a U.S. president.

In my first year in office over 2-million Americans
lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.

I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a
12-month period.

I appointed more convicted criminals to administration
than any president in U.S. history.

I set the record for least amount of press conferences
than any president since the advent of television.

I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S.
history and refused to intervene when corruption
involving the oil industry was revealed.

I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S.
history.

I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and
support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops
and their families-in war time.

I have set the all-time record for most people
worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public
venues (15 million people) shattering the record for
protest against any person in the history of mankind.

I've broken more international treaties than any
president in U.S. history.

I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the
richest of any administration in U.S. history. My
"poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron
oil tanker named after her.

I am the first president in U.S. history to order an
unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military
occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the
will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S.
citizens, and the world community.


I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the
largest bureaucracy in the history of the United
States government .

I am the first president in U.S. history to have the
United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights
Commission.

I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.
I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. prisoners
of war" detainees) and thereby have refused to abide
by the Geneva Convention.

I am the first president in history to refuse United
Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S.
election).

I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for
receiving the most corporate campaign donations.

My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of
my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the
largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. history. My
political party used the Enron private jets and
corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S.
Supreme Court during my election decision. I have
protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against
investigation or prosecution. More time and money was
spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than
has been spent investigating one of the biggest
corporate ripoffs in history.

I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the
World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later
made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the
largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

I am first president in history to have a majority of
Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest
threat to world peace and security.

I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals
to be awarded government contracts.

I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring
Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein to justice.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
All records of my tenure as Governor of Texas are now
in my father's library, sealed, and unavailable for
public view.

All records of SEC investigations into my insider
trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in
secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my
Vice-President, attended regarding public energy
policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for
public review.

This is from politicalhell.com

[Wouter Melissen]

He surely has a unique talent.

[Coventrysucks]

How many foreign countries has he visited in the last 4 years?

He came to Blighty once IIRC, and demanded that most of the places he was going had to be evacuated for miles around, for "security" reasons.

I know he visited Iraq for about 30s - 1min at Thanksgiving.

I spotted him in France for the D-Day service, that must have been a whole afternoon at least.

Nothing else springs to mind at the moment.

[Blue Supra]

Hes a tosser, Kerry better bloddy win!

[henk4]

Originally Posted by Coventrysucks

How many foreign countries has he visited in the last 4 years?

Actually he was in Nigeria in June 2003, giving a press conference at the Abuja Hilton hotel, which of course became impossible to enter. I couldn't help noticing that the first road dwon from the airport to the city is called the Bill Clinton Avenue. Somehow there is some justice in this cruel word.

[ruim20]

Great post!

[SPHFerrari]

thats interesting and a little bit funny. as a republican im not a big fan of it tho. i admit hes an idiot however.

[Niko_Fx]

I just saw Fahrenheit 911 5 minutes ago. Great film.

Would anybody care to tell me what's not true about the movie?

Nice post Ferrari

[henk4]

Originally Posted by SPHFerrari

thats interesting and a little bit funny. as a republican im not a big fan of it tho. i admit hes an idiot however.

which is already quite a breakthrough for a Republican. Try Kerry for a change, his politics will only be marignally different, but he is not an idiot.

[taz_rocks_miami]

Originally Posted by Blue Supra

Hes a tosser, Kerry better bloddy win!

You got that right I feel sorry for his daughters, just imagine knowing that most of the world calls your dad and idiot.

[Niko_Fx]

Originally Posted by taz_rocks_miami

You got that right I feel sorry for his daughters, just imagine knowing that most of the world calls your dad and idiot.

They aren't so bright either. I remember one of them in the news cause she was drunk at a party or something, doing drugs.. who knows...

I mean come on! You are the president's daughter, watch what you do cause it'll be all over the news.

[taz_rocks_miami]

Originally Posted by Niko_Fx

They aren't so bright either. I remember one of them in the news cause she was drunk at a party or something, doing drugs.. who knows...

I mean come on! You are the president's daughter, watch what you do cause it'll be all over the news.

You got a good point Niko, I guess the apple never rolls far from the tree...or something like that.

[Ferrari Tifosi]

The website I got this from has all sorts of great stuff, includings tons of "Bushisms".

Here's a scary Bush quote, "THE LEGISLATURE'S JOB IS TO WRITE LAW. IT'S THE EXECUTIVE BRANCH'S JOB TO INTERPRET LAW."

Our president failed political science!!!!!

And here's a funny one, "THE MOST IMPORTANT JOB IS NOT TO BE GOVERNOR, OR FIRST LADY IN MY CASE."

[taz_rocks_miami]

Originally Posted by Ferrari Tifosi

The website I got this from has all sorts of great stuff, includings tons of "Bushisms".

Here's a scary Bush quote, "THE LEGISLATURE'S JOB IS TO WRITE LAW. IT'S THE EXECUTIVE BRANCH'S JOB TO INTERPRET LAW."

Our president failed political science!!!!!

And here's a funny one, "THE MOST IMPORTANT JOB IS NOT TO BE GOVERNOR, OR FIRST LADY IN MY CASE."

That's funny Great thread man!!

[Lagonda]

Originally Posted by Niko_Fx

They aren't so bright either. I remember one of them in the news cause she was drunk at a party or something, doing drugs.. who knows...

I mean come on! You are the president's daughter, watch what you do cause it'll be all over the news.

Who cares if she's drunk, why can't she be drunk ? She's human after all (I hope..). The branch of the world media that spends their time writing stories about these kinds of things are the lowest of the low.

But I do hate Bush with a passion