Does santa exist?

[d-quik]

Is There a Santa Clause?

1. No known species of reindeer that can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer (which only Santa has ever seen.)

2. There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total-378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

3. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept),we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second-a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

4. The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload-not even counting the weight of the sleigh-to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison-this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

5. 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance-this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion: If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

[GTR Dreamer]

hahahahahahahahahaha thats sooo funny

[CdocZ]

wow.......d quik......we need to give you something to do! waaaay to much time on your hands! very funny tho!

[Spastik_Roach]

But...but..but hes Santa! hes magic! He can do anything!

YOU NON BELIEVERS

DIIIIIE DIIIIIIE!

[Wolf03]

I'm with you, Spastik_Roach, Santa is what brings families together at Christmas. I know I'm waaay too old (15) to believe in Santa but at school, we still kid around and ask "What do you think Santa will bring you?" He's part of our culture and he's magic, he's everything we're not. You, you Santa poopers!!
He can slow or even stop time, therefore delivering everything on time. I hope Santa read this and hopefully he won't give you anything for Christmas.

[whiteballz]

we had all that information in last years canberra times. a 3rd page article using info just like that.

it was the best thing a news paper could do on new years eve.

[Quiggs]

You mean Santa isn't real????

[whiteballz]

santa is real.
















in your head.

:P

[holdens]

isnt santa originaly a carpenter that gave wooden toys to the poor children in his town and then the rest is history ?...?

[Supercarfreak123]

I wouldn't know, im jewish.

BTW, that's freaking funny!

[SlickHolden]

I think there was some kind of Santa out there many years ago, I don't think he can fly or do anything really, Some kid 100's of years ago might have seen some dirty old man with a big sack walking with this type of gear on and made it up

Cause the real Santa would have thongs VB in hand and a bloody croc on his shoulder Singlet, Sunscreen specs and beer gut, Nice Akubra, and his slay would be a Kingswood

[Spastik_Roach]

Nuh-uh, he'd have an old Falcon Surfin wagon!

[SlickHolden]

We are after a real aussie classic so lets go the sandman then
He will have the chicks hanging off his dirty old arms

[Spastik_Roach]

fine





*mumbles*stupidholden fans and meh sandmanpahhgivemmaaa

[megotmea7]

someone put WAY to much thought into this... just remember... its magic