It's time for me to make a serious life change

[jcp123]

This may not be in the vein of awful diseases we wouldn't wish upon anybody, or deaths in the family, but this is a serious issue for me. The most serious of my life thus far.

The story starts on January 15, 2005. I meet a wonderful girl named Miranda. Over time, we had become incredibly close. We had an odd long-distance relationship that actually managed to last and grow. Last year, we had talked about graduating college, and I'd move up to Illinois with her, and eventually get married.

We had always had such a bond of trust, it was inseperable. We had both been cheated on before, and hated cheating with a passion.

I find out recently that not only is she cheating, she is in fact engaged to another person.

It bothers me less that I lost her than that I see in this a marked change in her personality, as I did when I was cheated on before.

It bothers me that she didn't say a word. I talked to her a month and a half ago on her birthday and there was no indication anything was wrong. Not even the respect to let me go beforehand.

She now refuses to talk and seems to be letting the new guy to the talking. That bothers me because she is an exceptionally strong young lady whom I have NEVER known to shy away from handling her own business. That is a huge change.

There a small concern about what the catalyst for this change is. Drugs? Abuse? Depression? I understand she has chosen otherwise, but I still love her, and am desperately concerned about her, because nothing about this situation fits what I know about her.

I have to combine this with some general issues I've been struggling with lately. The fact that I don't really know where I'm going in life. The career track I'd wanted to go into just doesn't seem possible anymore, and I will be graduating with a business degree in the midst of a glut of business degrees on the job market.

I also have been increasingly unhappy with the area. The reasons are pretty much irrelevant, but it's been a concern of mine along with the career worries, and the two combine to make me really, REALLY unsure of myself.

So I have lost the person I had planned to stay the rest of my life with, I have nothing here of value, and no clue what kind of career track I may fall into. It's scaring the daylights out of me to have no direction, no purpose, and nothing to work towards. Aimless and small. It's a dark feeling to be that alone, helpless, and I am worried I could sink into some clinical depression or something. It's time to toss up my life and change it all around.

I have decided upon graduating, I am going to go back to Northern California. It's maybe a comfort move to go back to where I was born and raised, but all the people who know me best, including my brother, are there. I think at this point, any change is better than the dark hole of nothingness, torment, and pain I have right now.



**PLOT TWIST: She left an exceptionally nasty message tonight claiming that we'd been over a year ago. That's news to me. She never said any such thing. Now I know she's just off her rocker and not worth the time. The sh!t of hers in the storage shed I've been renting for $39/mo is going to the dumps (minus the stuff I want). And all the chicks I passed up banging for her will get called back **


Any advice or insight that you all may have? I could use some views from some people who have lived more than I. Thanks for listening. It helps, it really does.

[Spastik_Roach]

I'm gunna let the more experienced people here do the real talking but you got my complete condolences. She sounds like a devil woman.

[baddabang]

Go beat the living shit out of him. Seriously.

[johnnynumfiv]

Originally Posted by Spastik_Roach

I'm gunna let the more experienced people here do the real talking but you got my complete condolences. She sounds like a devil woman.

YouTube - CLIFF RICHARD - Devil Woman (1976)

I concur.

You gotta do what is going to make you happy. If moving back to cali is gonna do that for you, do it and do it soon. I think I've stayed in my current situation too long and have fallen into the depression you've been talking about. Its not good and its tough to get out of.

[acfsambo]

babbabang, violence doesn't solve anything, but an accidentally detached brake cable does.

[jcp123]

Well, apparently she was acting on the notion that we'd broken up. I had no such inkling. I think that we were both acting within what we knew. Unfortunately she thinks I'm stalking her now and I hate the fact that she let me waste all that time.

[Bob]

Originally Posted by jcp123

Well, apparently she was acting on the notion that we'd broken up. I had no such inkling. I think that we were both acting within what we knew. Unfortunately she thinks I'm stalking her now and I hate the fact that she let me waste all that time.

While not in the same situation as you by any means, I can relate.
my advice is to forget about it as much as you can, let it go and keep looking. you will find a woman worth keeping someday.... this one just isn't.

[f6fhellcat13]

Sit on it for a few days.
Or keep yourself to busy to think.

[SlickHolden]

Sounds like a wonderful actress here.

I always say you don't truly know someone until you live with them. All their flaws etc.

[henk4]

Originally Posted by f6fhellcat13

Sit on it for a few days.
Or keep yourself to busy to think.

indeed, after the first disappointment you will start realising that you might actually be better off now, knowing what she is obviously capable of doing.

[digitalcraft]

sounds more like you're the person she was cheating with, maybe he's going to come beat the shit out of you.



My point is, did the guy know? If not, why would he deserve physical assault? Besides, it'll probably just end up with the assaulter in jail. Yeah that solves a lot. Lose the girl and have assault on your record. Good going.

[blingbling]

while i am not going to give you any remorse for your woman cheating on you because, simply, i am completely out of remorse for this reason. the women that i live around are completely incapable of commitment, numerous of my friends have been devastated by complete bullcrap thanks truly due to estrogen, and the good ones are so incredbily rare (read: taken).

yes, please refrain from having any "worries" about her. you would be unfair to yourself.

aside from anything involving an ovary, heres the "life" part.

be satisfied with the PURSUIT of "purpose". very few people ever actaully discover their true purpose. you can brainstorm some long term goals, but you can never let these goals become your PURPOSE. okay? all humans can not be defined with just a purpose. we are far too complex than that. i, for myself, have goals. but the pursuit of purpose is good enough.

only the lucky, rare ones ever REALLY GENUINELY discover a purpose. many have died, bothered by trying to find out this purpose. most die accepting the pursuit.

ahh everything i say is probably going to drown in his sorrow anyways. poor guy.

[Zytek_Fan]

Obviously she wasn't worth the effort, but you tried, and it seems you were happy for a time, and that's all that matters.

Just collect yourself and move on. There are more fish in the sea.


Oh, and sell/burn all her shit you don't want in the storage thing.

[SlickHolden]

blingbling thats not nice. Remember the apples on the tree's - Not all are bad and good ones are not that rare.

[Mr. Jinx]

The move back home sounds like a really good idea. Aside from the girl issue, you said you're feeling lost and have no direction. I think the familiarity of home and family will be a big help. I don't know if you do this already, but hit up some regular exercise. When I went into depression, I joined a gym, and I've been a lot better since.