A huge problem in me

[white devil]

guys i realy need ur help.......

i have this litle problem in me that usualy alll the girls i date tell me about it...
and my new Gf just told me it yesterday i dont talk much.. not because im shy or somthing i think its because i dont know what to talk about and i think this is a huge problem cause when u date a girl you got to keep on talking with her so she doesnt get boared i need som advice as what can i do to change & i am serious i realy want TO CHANGE.. WHAT CAN I DO ???

[The Tuner]

one-liners are nice....most of the gals i talk too get hooked bak into the convo or wateva once i spring a nice (cute, sweet, funny, wateva) line....sumtimes results in sum very interestin () conclusions...


ask homem tho, m sure he can help!

[Matra et Alpine]

Since when has UCP become an agony aunt ???



Anyway, classic 'boy' problem thinking you have to talk to not be boring.
WRONG. you have to LISTEN to do that.
Show an interest in the other person.

You want to learn the skill of "active listening", which is about asking questions and responding to the answers.

Talk about yourself all the time and you ARE boring
Let another person talk about THEIR interests and ask intelligent questions to show you are interested and then you won't be boring.

It's a "kiddie-macho" thing to think YOU are the important person in a conversation.

Do a google searfh on active learning and you'll find lots of insights.
Here's one I pulled for you http://crs.uvm.edu/gopher/nerl/personal/comm/e.html

( OK, I'm know I'm going to get flak for this, but having done psychology at Uni and having always concentrated on user-focussed design techniques for computer systems it's a skill I had to learn early on and it spilled over into my social life very early and made a BIG difference. You won't have to work so hard at being 'interesting' if you pick up the few simple skills )

aside: a general comment on "one-liners", they generally don't attract the 'smarter' people

[white devil]

ok this is for people that hav a big experience in this topic... what do girls like their BF to talk about?? maybe that would help????

& is it normal that the girl doesnt say "" I LOVE U""??? but she shows it to me when im sitting alone with her .. i mean she holds me and doesnt feel like letting me go???

I m feeling a litle shy now.. now all of u will think im a stupid boy who doesnt know about this..But well to be honest i just had a fight with my best friend and i cant talk to anybody so i said it would be a good idea to ask u guys

[DasModell]

skip the talking part . just joking

[r1ckst4]

well just act normally around her, [u]talk to her like u talk to ur best mates[u]... dats all basically ...

[VtecMini]

You know, I predict that one day, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not even this decade, but one day someone will ask a question and M&A will reply with "Actually, I don't know about that one, sorry".

[white devil]

Originally Posted by VtecMini

You know, I predict that one day, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not even this decade, but one day someone will ask a question and M&A will reply with "Actually, I don't know about that one, sorry".

Guys im realy serious.i want somw advices and i realy apreciated M&A i just read it and it did help.....

[Matra et Alpine]

Originally Posted by VtecMini

You know, I predict that one day, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not even this decade, but one day someone will ask a question and M&A will reply with "Actually, I don't know about that one, sorry".

jeez, thanks guys.

:silent mode on:

[Mustang]

Originally Posted by Matra et Alpine

jeez, thanks guys.

:silent mode on:

hey just noticed your been promoted well done does that mean we need a new mod

[UK CARS]

fiddle with her.
And i will one day find a question to shut scotty up. lol

[@wall]

Well i found with my ex, that she like most other girls like to be entertained in coversation. I don't mean pulling a stunt What I mean is exactly what matra said. That is the easiest coversations you can have are when you humour her interests. I know this sounds patronising and slack to her, I don't mean it to. But get her talking about something she likes or finds interesting.

It can be simple crap like something in the news even. But you will find if you engage with her about something she knows about or is interested in and listen to her, conversation is much easier. The next skill is then steering conversation from that to where you want it to go with simple things like similar anecdotes or similar intersts or experience.

The main thing though, if she is your girlfriend is that you feel comfortable talking to her about almost anything and you can pretty much be yourself. If you aren't yourself or she cramps your style then well you get the jist...

That was the problem with my ex, so I told her to GFH...

[Hell_Unleashed]

Mayb she prob meant that you don't call her up enough? Do you? In addition to all the above... why don't you give her a call like 2wice a day or so... Ask her how she is and what she has been upto. Tell her what you have been doing and what your going to be busy with. If you heard any interesting news tell her about those too... maybe about an accident that happened near your house or a building burning down or sunthin... make it interesting but I don't mean make up BS. lol... just show her you care or sumthn... hang up with a 'I love you.'

PS: Girls 'LOVE' gossip! Not that I would know...

[white devil]

ohhhh ok i gess those will work.... THX


and their is 1 more question nobody answered ... is it normal that she doesnt say i love u but she shows it to me, for example when we r alone and i hug her she holds me realy tight and doesnt let go and stuff like that

[Hell_Unleashed]

Why don't you try and say 'I love you' first... see if she replies with the same words... she is probably too shy or sumthn... plus, if u don't talk enuf, she probably wouldnt know how u would react if she said those words... so she probably hasnt said anything... dont worry about that... U say it first... and then the ball will rolll... if u know what i mean... Good luck