Does santa exist?

[d-quik]

Is There a Santa Clause?

1. No known species of reindeer that can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer (which only Santa has ever seen.)

2. There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total-378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

3. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept),we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second-a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

4. The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload-not even counting the weight of the sleigh-to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison-this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

5. 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance-this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion: If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

[GTR Dreamer]

hahahahahahahahahaha thats sooo funny :D:D:D

[CdocZ]

wow.......d quik......we need to give you something to do! waaaay to much time on your hands! very funny tho!

[Spastik_Roach]

But...but..but hes Santa! hes magic! He can do anything!

YOU NON BELIEVERS

DIIIIIE DIIIIIIE!

[Wolf03]

I'm with you, Spastik_Roach, Santa is what brings families together at Christmas. I know I'm waaay too old (15) to believe in Santa but at school, we still kid around and ask "What do you think Santa will bring you?" He's part of our culture and he's magic, he's everything we're not. You, you Santa poopers!! :p :rolleyes:
He can slow or even stop time, therefore delivering everything on time. I hope Santa read this and hopefully he won't give you anything for Christmas. :p

[whiteballz]

we had all that information in last years canberra times. a 3rd page article using info just like that.

it was the best thing a news paper could do on new years eve.

[Quiggs]

You mean Santa isn't real????

[whiteballz]

santa is real.
















in your head.

:D :P

[holdens]

isnt santa originaly a carpenter that gave wooden toys to the poor children in his town and then the rest is history ?...?

[Supercarfreak123]

I wouldn't know, im jewish.

BTW, that's freaking funny!

[SlickHolden]

I think there was some kind of Santa out there many years ago, I don't think he can fly or do anything really, Some kid 100's of years ago might have seen some dirty old man with a big sack walking with this type of gear on and made it up:p

Cause the real Santa would have thongs VB in hand and a bloody croc on his shoulder Singlet, Sunscreen specs and beer gut, Nice Akubra, and his slay would be a Kingswood :D

[Spastik_Roach]

Nuh-uh, he'd have an old Falcon Surfin wagon!

[SlickHolden]

We are after a real aussie classic so lets go the sandman then:D
He will have the chicks hanging off his dirty old arms:p

[Spastik_Roach]

fine





*mumbles*stupidholden fans and meh sandmanpahhgivemmaaa

[megotmea7]

someone put WAY to much thought into this... just remember... its magic ;)

[taz_rocks_miami]

someone put WAY to much thought into this... just remember... its magic ;)

LMAO!!! I can't believe we're talking about this!! :D :D















Of course he exists :)

[Matra et Alpine]

We have the advantage of growing up watching "Dr Who" so we know Santa's sleigh is a Time And Relative Dimensions In Space craft and he DOES exist and can deliver my presents and everyoen elses.

[Luciferous]

Maybe Santa Claus IS Dr. Who....

[Falcon500]

Maybe Santa Claus IS Dr. Who....
I used to whatch that show when i was a kid and thought it was kewl...and even funnier is its back on tv and i whatch the show to try and get the same kick i did when i was a kid and i always wake up when the credits start rolling :rolleyes:

[Matra et Alpine]

yeh, now you can see the walls move and the ham acting and cant' stop laughing and yet remember hiding behind the settee as a kid when you thought a dalek or Cyberman was going to appear :)

[Falcon500]

isnt santa originaly a carpenter that gave wooden toys to the poor children in his town and then the rest is history ?...?
St Nick (aka santa frig know where that came from) was a monk who dropped gold down paupers chimneys.....I got that from Nuns...


And fromschool i lernt his red and white liverly came from advertising in the 1940s by no other then Coca cola.....

[Falcon500]

yeh, now you can see the walls move and the ham acting and cant' stop laughing and yet remember hiding behind the settee as a kid when you thought a dalek or Cyberman was going to appear :)
Or how about spraying the whare wolfs with fire extinguishers....

And my recent favorite the what was obviously a vacume cleaner hose attacking a darlek and eventually killing it and seting it on fire "ARRRRR...STAND.....BACK.....ARRRRR" pop bang fizzle:D

But other then a few moments its the best 20 min cat nap i can find :rolleyes:

[Matra et Alpine]

They're making a new one - http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/doctorwho/ram/nb/teaser_16x9_nb.ram

and yet some of the props look as if they'll retain the old "feel" :)
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/doctorwho/newtv/whospy/index.shtml

and THIS should keep all the old-school Dr Who fans delirious for hours on end :) http://www0.bbc.co.uk/cult/doctorwho/news/radiophonatron.swf

[Falcon500]

Now i cant believe that...a new series my ribs are caneing....and im stillyet to look at the pics properly....also i cant get the teser working :(

[:Exige:]

Of course hes real! Hes just not alive and doesnt give us presents .. come on, how was I meant to believe my parents that they were just buying the box so santa would know what to get me when I was young?!

[Matra et Alpine]

That is the BEST parental excuse I've ever heard :Exige:, how many years did you believe THAT one for :)

[:Exige:]

That is the BEST parental excuse I've ever heard :Exige:, how many years did you believe THAT one for :)
More years than Id like to admit to :o

[SlickHolden]

fine





*mumbles*stupidholden fans and meh sandmanpahhgivemmaaa
lol fordguys always get upset with stupid holden sandman lovers with chic's in back in bikini's:D :p

[SlickHolden]

Maybe Santa Claus IS Dr. Who....
Maybe dr who is santa claus:p:D
Or he could just be bill gates with no glasses :D

[yogi]

santa exists.I saw him at the mall

[QuattroMan]

OHHHHHH YES HE DOSE!! he was @ my house last night shooting the
sh@it with me.... :D :D :D :D

[:Exige:]

OHHHHHH YES HE DOSE!! he was @ my house last night shooting the
sh@it with me.... :D :D :D :D
Rumour has it he prefers Tequilla slammers to mince pies, can you confirm this? :)

[Homem de Gelo]

He's fo' real, fo' sho'.
I seen him.

[QuattroMan]

Rumour has it he prefers Tequilla slammers to mince pies, can you confirm this? :)

WELL! that is what caused us to shoot the [email protected] :D

[d-quik]

just in time for christmas (http://www.mymiserablechristmas.com/)

it contains some swearing and suggestive graphics...

[UCR]

when i was young i would sit on his knee and fart! :D

[Matra et Alpine]

just in time for christmas (http://www.mymiserablechristmas.com/)

it contains some swearing and suggestive graphics...

I love the gingerbread porn.

Thinking of baking some for the in-laws and watch their faces :)

[byronleehk]

Believe or not, we actually had a guy named "Santa Claus" in the good old US of A! I saw it on the news some time ago, forgot which state he was in tho...no lie! :rolleyes:

[Spastik_Roach]

ssssh guys, if Karrmann sees this we are in the shit big time! Hes still believes!

[baddabang]

when i was young i would sit on his knee and fart! :D

I believe it, oh and santa is real he was in the town parade during thanksgiving, he was on the top of a firetruck drinking beer with the mayor. BTW this is one of the funniest threads in a long wile.

[spi-ti-tout]

Seriously guys, what d-quik says makes a lot of sense.

Yes, it does bring Families together at chrismas time, but there has never been ANY proof at all that he exists. The fact that we're talking here is quite obvious. What we're saying is: "IT brings families together" not "HE brings families together. From only this statement we have a point that many people confess that he is not the key reason that families are together each christmas but it's christmas itself that does that without even knowing what they're confessing.

When people don't know who a person is, they start quarreling about the identity of the person. Same thing we have here, a living proof is the posts in this very thread. How can we say we believe in him if we constantly poke fun at him? When someone gives you a camera you always wanted, you don't spit on him, do you? This all proves that while we may say that we believe in Santa, we actually don't and are fooling ourselves.

[Rockefella]

Seriously guys, what d-quik says makes a lot of sense.

Yes, it does bring Families together at chrismas time, but there has never been ANY proof at all that he exists. The fact that we're talking here is quite obvious. What we're saying is: "IT brings families together" not "HE brings families together. From only this statement we have a point that many people confess that he is not the key reason that families are together each christmas but it's christmas itself that does that without even knowing what they're confessing.

When people don't know who a person is, they start quarreling about the identity of the person. Same thing we have here, a living proof is the posts in this very thread. How can we say we believe in him if we constantly poke fun at him? When someone gives you a camera you always wanted, you don't spit on him, do you? This all proves that while we may say that we believe in Santa, we actually don't and are fooling ourselves.
well... I dont think any of us here believe in him, at least I hope not; however, I think Santa was just created to please kids. It's a big deal to kids knowing that the milk and cookies that they left out for Santa were finished and he magically filled the stockings and gave you presents, all while you were sleeping peacefully. Sounds a lot better than, here you go son, picked this sht out of a list on EBay.

[CdocZ]

yeah, we jews live a very deprived early childhood :p

[Karrmann]

I know santa doesn't exhist, it just is your parents playing tricks on you, but still, good post.

[UCR]

I know santa doesn't exhist, it just is your parents playing tricks on you, but still, good post.
lol..

[Mustang]

I know santa doesn't exhist, it just is your parents playing tricks on you, but still, good post.


dyu just find out or something :p

arr diddums :p

[byronleehk]

link to track santa's where about for the past 50 years! (http://www.noradsanta.org/)

Now tell me Santa isn't real!!! :cool: :p