Friggin GM!!!! >:(

[Karrmann]

stupid GM is planning to make a Corvette SUV by 2007!

it is basically a hummer h2 with the doors being reengineread to open suciede ways, the back end sloping back like an Aztek, with corvette taillights and a 65 front end with a little squarer styling and a trans am ram air hood with 65 wheels.

I heard of it in my version of Autmobile magazine. I have found no pics on the internet but they said at automobile that they created computer generated photos from what they saw from them (GM) testing it in heavy camoflogue in Arizona.


here's the article:


If the latest computer enhanced images are correct, changes for the recently redesigned crovette include all wheel drive, brush guards, and seating for nine. Ace soy shoter Hans Meisterkafftsmann captured the heavly disguised mule near a soccar field in Arizona, and worked with analyst Paul Potemkin to generate the photos shown.
" The corvette abvisouly needs additional cargo capacity, and it's ability to seat nine increases it's market penetration" the photographer noted.
Chrvrolet division head W.W. Brent Dewar refused to confirm and planned changes to the corvette, offering only that "You people are fruitcakes"
Potemkin stands by his colleague's enhancements of the images. "This is the inevitable evolution of GM's curent driection. The next corvette will conbine the off road capabilities essential to 50 year old suburbanties with key model identifiers like crossed flag embroidery and automatic transmission. Most Corvette owners' families, budgets, and waistlines have expanded beyone 2 seaters anyway- I mean, just try getting into the current car after all-you-can-eat fish night at Stuckey's, Tilt/tele my ass.
The LS2-powered car could debut as a 2007 model. Meisterkraffsmann and Potemkin predict that Cehvy will base, Sport and Rochester Big and Tall editions.

/\ article by Jay Lamm.

I say it's stupid as hell and GM has gone too far with the SUV thing.

wadda you say about this stupid ass idea?

[CHEESE-TACULAR]

where the hell did you get this information?

[Karrmann]

I already said, the latest issue of Automobile Magazine.

[kko]

Sounds Like a bunch of BS too me.

[johnnynumfiv]

Why do you care if they make it or not. Its just another vehicle, your biasness about anything suv is just a pain in the ass. I dont understand how you could stick a vette front end of a hummer, it doesn't make sense, and like kko said, its sounds like a bunch of BS.

[pimp_squeak]

GM is notoriously bad at keeping secrets. Prime examples are the solstice, the HHR, the H3, the new corvette C6, the new Z06. I think that we would have heard something about a 2009 corvette SUV variant by now. I mean they're pretty much announced everything else up to 2012. I seriously doubt that...not to mention that automotive weekly is horrible for their reliability.

[CdocZ]

is that.......possible? if it is.....they better not. over 50 YEARS of amazing heritage is just going to be shot to death and cremated?!?!?!?!?! please, give links to where you saw this, i wanna keep a tab on how that idea goes.

[Karrmann]

I don't have a link, it is in A MAGAZINE!!

when my normal CPU is workiong again i'll scan it in.

i'm currently on a Laptop so I can;t do anything.

[Aero]

It's a joke.

[CdocZ]

it better dam well be!!!!!!!

[CSL]

It's a joke.

the sad part is that you are the first one to figure it out

[CdocZ]

well, im a huge american car fan, and i was kinda......blinded quite literally by the incredible insane stupidity of the idea

[Coventrysucks]

...Hans Meisterkafftsmann... ...W.W. Brent Dewar... ..."You people are fruitcakes"... ...waistlines have expanded beyone 2 seaters anyway- I mean, just try getting into the current car after all-you-can-eat fish night at Stuckey's... ...Rochester Big and Tall editions.

How can you not see this is a blatant piss-take?

Did you have your brain removed? I mean - come on Meisterkafftsmann?? Rochester Big and Tall editions???

Senior Chevrolet management calling people "fruitcakes" in a press statement???

Americans really need to catch up on satire.

I think the brave work of Chandler from "Friends" has successfully introduced 'sarcasm' to the American people, but some areas of humour appear to be seriously lacking.

Thanks for that though - I had a good chuckle whilst reading it, and then in a 2 for 1 type deal got another bout with the people thinking it was true :D

[sutton4481]

I think I just lost my faith in humanity...

[clutch-monkey]

heres a link so you can all read satire
http://www.satirewire.com/index.shtml

[Coventrysucks]

Phnaa-phnaa! (http://www.satirewire.com/news/0010/international.shtml)

[clutch-monkey]

i love that one :) why'd you link it like that tho?

[SlickHolden]

stupid GM is planning to make a Corvette SUV by 2007!
All i can say is hahahaha:p

[fpv_gtho]

I remember something like this that they done for April Fools last year that caught me out hook line and sinker :rolleyes:

[Esperante]

Ah yes, Automobile magazine.....the Onion of the car world....

[PsychoChimp22]

It's a joke.



DING! DING! DING!

Welcome to the site.

[Aero]

thanks

[megotmea7]

lmao. i guess some of us dont know the meaning of subtle humor...

[Spastik_Roach]

Its safe to say Karrmann got owned..

Ahh well.

[SlickHolden]

Karrmann got owned when he was born :p

[Blitz_]

America.........geez

[fpv_gtho]

Well im sure after your little spout with that thread telling Wouter to piss off from the forums, your not painting a pretty picture for the land downunder either :rolleyes:

[Blitz_]

Lol it was in regards to the very first post in this thread, nothing in page 2 or the other posts in page 1, i just read the first thingy, its just funny that the SUV thing has gone way out of control

[ZeTurbo]

Aztek,
BE AFFRAID, BE VERY AFFRAID!!!!

[Blitz_]

aztec?

[QuattroMan]

PLEASE SAY NO!!! NO WAY! GM cant do this, this sh@t is getting out
of hand,,,!sh@t :mad:

[Coventrysucks]

PLEASE SAY NO!!! NO WAY! GM cant do this, this sh@t is getting out
of hand,,,!sh@t :mad:

You didn't read all of the posts pointing out that it is, infact, a satirical article.
Written in jest.

It is not true.

Sheesh... some people!

[SIMPLETON]

If it is true, it will never happen. No corporation, no matter how big, could market let alone sell something like a Corvette SUV.

[Coventrysucks]

People seem to be having trouble with this, so loud and clear:

IT IS A JOKE

IT IS NOT TRUE

[baddabang]

People seem to be having trouble with this, so loud and clear:

IT IS A JOKE

IT IS NOT TRUE

Hmmm try a bigger font in bright orange ;)

Anyways if you think about it, it would be really funny looking. :p

[CdocZ]

no, it wouldnt. pick any chevy suv you want, and put a vette body on top like porsche did with the cayenne, and chop it/draw it and see how it would come out. if you really want to know, ask the choppers to do it. if your lucky, one will do it just because they dont like vettes anyway.

[fpv_gtho]

Yeah but imagine the marketing, they'd be pushing the Sports in SUV for all it was orth :p

[CdocZ]

there is no sport in suv. the acronym should be changed to "B.A.P.T.", big ass pointless truck. they cant perform like real trucks, and only like 3 can actually go off road better then the enzo can. and even better, theyll kill you if you try to actually use their purpose of off roading sometimes! :p

[fpv_gtho]

Thats the American ones though, that to stereotype them, have been no good offroad and not much better on road. SUV's like the Toyota Rav4 and Nissan X-Trail probably fit the idea of an SUV much better than an Explorer etc.

[CdocZ]

i think the escalade is the perfect stereotype of an american suv :)

[fpv_gtho]

I wouldve picked the Explorer personally, Ford have sold so damn many of them over the years

[ZeTurbo]

aztec?
the pontiac aztec is the ugliest thing to have ever come out of america...

[Karrmann]

well I can aggrew with all ya.

I think that the big 3 are losing the true heritage of the SUV.

origionally, SUVS were supposed to be designed to be rugged, powerful, and useful for getting the jnob done.they can offroad like champs, and they were like, the Willys Jeep.

to me, that's a true SUV.

I hate how now they are making SUVS all family friendly and wimpy- that's right I said it, wimpy.

c'mon, SUVS were not made to take little jimmy to school and pick up a weeks worth of grocheries.

I saw a 1997 Explorer stuck in 5 inches of snow in Indiana, yet i'm in a Crown Victoria, and through the full road trip, we never got stuck while there are a bunch of SUVS stuck in the snow off the side of the road.

a Crown Victoria going through a half foot of snow like a hummer yet there are explorers off the road stuck?, i'm sorry but theyve made SUVS too civilized.

the Hummer H2's axle splits on 3 inch rocks.

and now when they advertise they shoow them with TVS on open roads and kids playing XBOX and smiling, i'm sorry , but if you wanna take the kids to school, get like a Taurus or sumthin, not an SUV.

take the kids to school in a Taurus or accord or something, and save the SUV for the dirt trail.

they should make the SUVS focusing more on driving off road than being comfortable, and stick the DVD players and TVs and wireless headphones and MP3 players in the sedans and wagons.

that's just what I think though.

[cmcpokey]

the SUV is just the current evolution of the station wagon. the wagon body style existed for decades. then the 80s hit and they decided to move to the mini van. in the mid 90s, the mini van became passe, and so the house wives moved to SUVs. i think that thanks to the BMW tourings, the Dodge Magnum, and other estate body styles, there will be somewhat a move back toward them, although right now it seems that all three are happily coexisting currently.

[fpv_gtho]

well I can aggrew with all ya.

I think that the big 3 are losing the true heritage of the SUV.

origionally, SUVS were supposed to be designed to be rugged, powerful, and useful for getting the jnob done.they can offroad like champs, and they were like, the Willys Jeep.

to me, that's a true SUV.

Well considering over here we adopted the term SUV not that long ago probably sometime in 2003, so what you described there for most people would be called simply a 4x4


I hate how now they are making SUVS all family friendly and wimpy- that's right I said it, wimpy.

Its cause no ones using them for their true purpose, just to haul the family around, and even when they go onto a dirt track, they automatically think they need 4 wheel drive and ground clearance


c'mon, SUVS were not made to take little jimmy to school and pick up a weeks worth of grocheries.

So stop using them for that then


I saw a 1997 Explorer stuck in 5 inches of snow in Indiana, yet i'm in a Crown Victoria, and through the full road trip, we never got stuck while there are a bunch of SUVS stuck in the snow off the side of the road.

Probably cause most of the US made SUV's have the option to be RWD, so people knowing theyre buying them for the image and the extra space, save a couple of thousand and just get the RWD model.


a Crown Victoria going through a half foot of snow like a hummer yet there are explorers off the road stuck?, i'm sorry but theyve made SUVS too civilized.

Any car could get stuck in snow, its as much up to the driver to prepare the car for snow and to drive through the snow appropriately as it is for the cars equipment to get it through


and now when they advertise they shoow them with TVS on open roads and kids playing XBOX and smiling, i'm sorry , but if you wanna take the kids to school, get like a Taurus or sumthin, not an SUV.

take the kids to school in a Taurus or accord or something, and save the SUV for the dirt trail.

Its the image and size of an SUV that draws people in, plus the last couple of Taurus's have been a step below fugly.

Its funny that a car like the Falcon or Commodore over here, which is considered pretty big, would only be classified as a MEDIUM sized car in the US.


they should make the SUVS focusing more on driving off road than being comfortable, and stick the DVD players and TVs and wireless headphones and MP3 players in the sedans and wagons.

that's just what I think though.

If you look around theres still SUVs out on the roads and in the showrooms that are like that, just no one's buying them cause barely anyone needs them.

Morally i suppose its a bad thing that manufacturers are continuing to develop SUVs to catch in on the market craze. Cars like the Toyota Highlander/Kluger, Ford Territory, Ford Freestyle, Nissan X-Trail, Toyta Rav4, Volvo XC90 and XC70, and a whole lot of others i cant really think of right now, theres just so many that have been released. Theyre all cars cashing in on the looks and versatility of an SUV, but their car based origins such as suspension geometry and chassis construction make them just as safe as a normal car and possible to handle just as good as a car. Its not a good thing that someone would say choose an SUV over a sedan, but what about if they choose one of the soft roaders or crossovers over a proper SUV

[Karrmann]

1. the Dodge Caravan is a Minivan, I never had a SUV except 2 times when my Dad got 1 for a rental for a Business trip.

2. the Ford Freestyle is the station wagon version of the Ford Fivehundred.

since there are SUV crazes going on, there are many station wagons that have some SUV styling cues, l8ike the Dodge Magnum, The Ford Freestyle, and the Pontiac Vibe.

[Spastik_Roach]

I don't mind small 4wds like the Highlander/Kluger which won't probably go offroad, however I do mind BIG ones like Expedition Excursion Suburban etc... Nto that we get em over here :)

[fpv_gtho]

1. the Dodge Caravan is a Minivan, I never had a SUV except 2 times when my Dad got 1 for a rental for a Business trip.

2. the Ford Freestyle is the station wagon version of the Ford Fivehundred.

since there are SUV crazes going on, there are many station wagons that have some SUV styling cues, l8ike the Dodge Magnum, The Ford Freestyle, and the Pontiac Vibe.

The Freestyles classified as an SUV, it may be FWD based but its got the option of AWD and its very much like the Ford Territory. The Vibe probably fits into the same category. The Magnum's the only "proper" wagon of that trio

[Karrmann]

Pontiac and Automobile magazine say that the Vibe is a wagon.

[F1_Master]

There goes the America's first Sports car.

[fpv_gtho]

Pontiac and Automobile magazine say that the Vibe is a wagon.

Well technically all 3 of them were wagons, but only the Magnum is really a conventiona wagon as the Freestyle and Aztek are more of a tall body design, which is part of its SUV styling cues

[cmcpokey]

i can realll screw things up here.. the magnum is classified as a truck. this helps with a lot of things like epa regulations, gas guzzler taxes, tint on the rear windows, etc. it is decided by the ride heit. even the newest subaru legacies are also classified as trucks. its taking advantage of an outdated law to save the carmakers and the consumers a bit of money.

[fpv_gtho]

A truck? :rolleyes:

Something that really doesnt make sense is you guys have the gas guzzler tax, yet fuels pretty cheap over there anyway.

[Karrmann]

this is my take on SUVS., which Bill Ford jr. also has the same take as me.

here, i got this out of an interview from a Magazin that was interviewing him


First of all. it depends on how you use the Excursion. If it's a single commuter driving around in a vehicle like that, then yeah, it's pretty bad for society. But if you load up an Excursion, it's the equivelent of 2 sedans worth of people on the road. In that case, it's more responsible than driving 2 sedans, So if uyou are hauling people around, than it's better for society. We did take steps, to make it as begin as we could. We did make it a LEV, We do make it in the cleanist paint shop. We do have a very high degree of recyclability, But, again, it's balancing the equation.