Speeding - what excuses have you used ? [Archive]

Matra et Alpine

08-16-2005, 04:55 AM

The Northumbria Safety Camera Partnership has released what it believes to be the definitive list of bizarre excuses for getting caught speeding. These extravagant excuses include alien hypnosis, low-flying aircraft, a dying hamster and bouts of diarrhoea.

Here is the top 10:

1) I had passed out after seeing flashing lights, which I believed to be UFOs in the distance. The flash of the camera brought me round from my trance.

2) I was in the airport's flight path and I believe the camera was triggered by a jet overhead, not my car.

3) I had a severe bout of diarrhoea and had to speed to a public toilet.

4) There was a strong wind behind my car, which pushed me over the limit.

5) My friend had just chopped his fingers off and I was rushing the fingers to hospital.

6) The vibrations from the surfboard I had on the roof rack set off the camera.

7) I had to rush my dying hamster to the vets.

8) A violent sneeze caused a chain reaction where my foot pushed down harder on the accelerator.

9) There was a suspected case of foot and mouth and I had to rush to see the cow concerned.

10) The only way I could demonstrate my faulty clutch was to accelerate madly.

NoOne

08-16-2005, 05:07 AM

Back before we had plastic "credit card" looking licenses, we had paper ones that had excess trim on the bottom .... in small print it read "TEAR ALONG DOTTED LINE", ... never had the guts to try to use that as my license to speed :D

2ndclasscitizen

08-16-2005, 05:20 AM

^ha nice one

never been done for speeding myself. Notice how i said never been caught :p

(i never be irresponsible with speed, the max over i go is about 10-15ks tops, which is enough to get done)

henk4

08-16-2005, 06:26 AM

it is always the cameras that catch me. No use to think of fancy excuses against them.

P3RG4R3C

08-16-2005, 07:28 AM

No speed cameras in Slovenia... :p ...yet. :(

DrGonzo

08-16-2005, 07:37 AM

I've used the having to go to the toilet excuse before - it works depending on the cop though.

Niko_Fx

08-16-2005, 07:43 AM

True Story:

Venezuelan friend of my dad was in Orlando staying with a friend, when he received a call that his father got a heart attack. The closest airport with an available seat in a plane that was leaving to Venezuela was Miami's (About 4-5 hours trip Orlando-Miami)

They both got in the 996 Carrera of the guy who lives in Orlando and took the highway. After driving at 140 - 150mph for a couple of minutes they eventually got stopped by the police. The driver explained what had happened and the cop, after seeing the 40+ year old man crying in the passenger seat, believe it or not allowed them to continue without a ticket.

The cop also notified highway patrols and cops from the other counties to allow the black Porsche to fly down the Turnpike Highway. Pretty crazy :)

Mustang

08-16-2005, 07:47 AM

I was drunk and couldnt see the speedo properly

shame ive not passed my test yet :p

johnnynumfiv

08-16-2005, 07:49 AM

^^Neat story.

I ain't speedin', I'm qualifyin'.

Sackalack GT

08-16-2005, 08:25 AM

^^^Yeah, very heartwarming, I like the part about how he radioed all the other cops too. Gets me thinking though, how cool would it be to use that excuse just to have a license to speed for a few hours?:D

IWantAnAudiRS6

08-16-2005, 08:39 AM

it is always the cameras that catch me. No use to think of fancy excuses against them.
Nothing a hacksaw and the dead of night/veryearlymorning can't fix... ;)

My personal favourite is the one that was used by my dad- I know I was speeding, "I was trying to get away from the wife after I dropped her favourite china. It's her period right now."

jorismo

08-16-2005, 08:44 AM

I saw on tv a guy with a ferrari 355 I think. He was caught driving 120 km/h at a road where 80 was allowed. his excuse:" my speedo is broken so I havo to estimate my speed by my rev-counter." That officer goes like: " well sir, I see the problem but you sure gotta notice the difference betweem 120 and 80 km/h."

PininfarinaPIMP

08-16-2005, 08:49 AM

Try " Im sorry officer, i, didnt know i couldnt do that...

jorismo

08-16-2005, 08:52 AM

Try " Im sorry officer, i, didnt know i couldnt do that...

or: "there is a speedlimit at this road?? you must be joking, right??"

baddabang

08-16-2005, 09:25 AM

my dad always used to speed home from the plant after work. One day he flew past a speed trap and the cop lost him. the next day the officer waited for him and said "Iv been waiting all day for you" and my pops replied "well I got here as fast as I could" the cop seen it as a good laugh and let him off with a warning.

PininfarinaPIMP

08-16-2005, 09:29 AM

No im not joking...

VtecMini

08-16-2005, 09:39 AM

One of the holes on my washer jet is out of line slightly (I'll get round to fixing it some time soon) and squirts water straight over the top of the car unless I'm doing more than about 90. I haven't actually used that one yet, but It's worth remembering!

man 430gt

08-16-2005, 09:49 AM

Me and my dad were in my mums nissan micra and it was a 30 mph road and got stopped doing around 45ish, we then got pulled over and the sop seemed more surprised then my dad who never got stopped before in his life. he let us off in goodwill....god bless his ssoul;)

kko

08-16-2005, 10:51 AM

just used the Bee trick from tommy boy.

Mustang

08-16-2005, 10:52 AM

micra's can do that speed !! :eek:

:p

Acura/subarufan

08-16-2005, 11:11 AM

Bob

08-16-2005, 11:15 AM

i read this on a website it's an excuse for speeding " (cop pulls guy over) cop: " do you know how fast you were going? Man "yes oh and by the way there is a gun in the glove compartment. Cop: " a gun?" Man: " yes and a body in the truck. Cop: What?" (cop radios for backup) the other police arrive but find no body or gun. Police do you have a gun? man: "no" Police: "a body in the trunk? Man: "no... i bet that liar told you i was speeding too. ////// i probably told it a bit wrong but any way its funny

probably works somewhere, but around here (I'm just west of trenton) you would run the risk of being arrested immediately or shot. Also the police may not search your trunk or glovebox if they are locked unless they get a warrant on you... so it couldn't really happen.

Acura/subarufan

08-16-2005, 03:20 PM

probably works somewhere, but around here (I'm just west of trenton) you would run the risk of being arrested immediately or shot. Also the police may not search your trunk or glovebox if they are locked unless they get a warrant on you... so it couldn't really happen.
well yeah i mean you really shouldn't use that it was just a funny joke. you'd have to have real guts to say it (or lack of brains) :D

cmcpokey

08-16-2005, 04:49 PM

it was the start of summer vacation, and i got pulled. he told me to come back to his car while he did the paperwork. when i got in, he asked where i was going in such a hurry. i said i was on my way to see my girlfriend at her school, an hour away from my home, which wasnt out yet. he had already seen by my window sticker that i went to school 14 hours away, so he got a little sympathetic and said he couldnt stand in the way of love. he wrote me a warning, and said to slow down a bit. as i walked back to my car with my warning, he asked when the last time i saw her was. i responded "last night" as i climbed back in.

QuattroMan

08-16-2005, 05:45 PM

it is always the cameras that catch me. No use to think of fancy excuses against them.
I bought my car a your ago, I have not put my plates on yet, exactly for that reason, I've been lucky so far last couple of times when I did get pulled over, I just tell them I have not gotten my plates yet from the DMV and guys, let me tell something about Deportment of Motor Vehicle of California, they are so slow and cops now that.That is why they don't like to waist time with me..."lucky me"here is a picture of my car front and back,this is how its been since day one.

GT F1

08-16-2005, 05:55 PM

QuattroMan, nice car!! :)

Jack_Bauer

08-16-2005, 05:59 PM

micra's can do that speed !! :eek:

:p

Oi!!!

I'll have you know I've thraped my 1.0l Micra to the dark side of 95mph before(downhill, with a tailwind! :o ). Of course that was me as a wreckless youth, I wouldn't dream of such naughtiness nowadays, 'onest guv'nor. :p

QuattroMan

08-16-2005, 07:46 PM

QuattroMan, nice car!! :)
thanks bro im a lucky man, i work for Audi so get good deals my next car i want the new RS4, I'm being nice to my wife you starting know!you know what i mean right?! :D this the car baby!!!

drakkie

08-17-2005, 12:13 AM

our local speed cameras are the best in the world.here is a short description of both:
1)
placed between Brielle and Oostvoorne. the radar and photo window are both painted yellow.It was turned towards the field, and burned.
2)
placed between Oostoorne and Rockanje.Also painted and burned.Furthermaore it is shot, and someone has ut the powerlines underground towars it ;)

Heey, where has my paint gone ?? and my lighter ????:p

i actually got caught speeding while driving a racing bike once (on a 50km/h road). the machine went off, but i haven't seen any ticket on my door mat yet :)

My best friend and i once shaked off a police car and motorcycle.we were driving his scooter.at the straights, we overtook the police car, and sped off. (without noticing it was a cop car). some later we heard a car accelarating very fast:) and some sirens.he drove into some small alley and the motor cycle tried to follow us. however it was just too narrow for the bike.the scooter could pass through though :) 10 minues later we were driving 130 km/h through the country side again :p

clutch-monkey

08-17-2005, 12:27 AM

3) I had a severe bout of diarrhoea and had to speed to a public toilet.

i actually have a medical certificate that allows me to use an excuse similar to this. it works great when lectures are boring to

Matra et Alpine

08-17-2005, 01:55 AM

Heey, where has my paint gone ?? and my lighter ????:p

We had the same here for a while.
It even went further with one of them in Northampton being 'bombed'
http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/39034000/jpg/_39034293_speedcam203.jpg
Unlikely to be repeated now with our current anti-terrorist approach and shoot-to-kill policy :(

drakkie

08-17-2005, 02:44 AM

We had the same here for a while.
It even went further with one of them in Northampton being 'bombed'

lol.in a recent survey it was shown that 80% of them was was wrecked within two weeks :p a popular method is placing a tire around it, then light the tire.also quite common is the shooting and painting.

jorismo

08-17-2005, 03:21 AM

We used to have the "tuf-tuf-club". It was just a bunch of guys who liked to blow up and burn speedcameras. I think Jeremy Clarkson followed them once with his show: "Jeremy meets the neighbours" or something like that. And I sweat to God, he had the day of his life! They blew up some cameras and went to stalk some officers with a lasergun. But somehow the tuf-tuf-club is gone... And that sucks...

IWantAnAudiRS6

08-17-2005, 02:06 PM

Yeah, that really does, I wish people would join me in that round here, but no avail :(

Still, one day... one day... my idea is to drive through a speed camera too fast whilst towing 50 feet of black carpet :p

Matra et Alpine

08-17-2005, 02:12 PM

I drove through one without realising my rear number plate had come off :)
I was clocking 150+ when the camer went flash-flash.
I always imagine there's a police camera photo pinned above some guys desk and he's hoping to find me :D

IWantAnAudiRS6

08-17-2005, 02:42 PM

Heh, he'll search for a blue Renault Alpine 610 in the DVLA database... dun dun DUN!!!

Matra et Alpine

08-17-2005, 02:51 PM

Heh, he'll search for a blue Renault Alpine 610 in the DVLA database... dun dun DUN!!!
The Alpine logo was also left in the kitty-litter at Brands. So the rear had no identifiers. So he has to be a REAL enthusiast to recognise it. With only 67 ever built they're not very common :)

Of course if he's a fan of ucp I'm f*****d :eek:

2ndclasscitizen

08-17-2005, 05:17 PM

i just remember when i was doing P-off, there was a speed ticket of someone who was doing nearly 200 i think (don't quote me), whatever it was they were WAY over. I also remember getting a life home off one of my mates in his 265 Hemi Valiant Regal. Coming along at about 170kmh, coming round a bend and theres an unmarked car and bike, which have pulled over 2 unregistered riced out nissans. Lucky the regal had good brakes

drakkie

08-18-2005, 06:30 AM

SlickHolden

08-18-2005, 01:33 PM

I just got a speeding fine in the letter box. 65kp/h in a 60kp/h zone.
Only thing was it wasnt me driving the car at the time, I lean't the car to my sister.

NoOne

08-19-2005, 05:17 AM

I just got a speeding fine in the letter box. 65kp/h in a 60kp/h zone.
Only thing was it wasnt me driving the car at the time, I lean't the car to my sister.
You got a fine for only 5k over ??? :eek: Thats incredibly strict, we can usually get away with 15 or 20k over any posted limit, in good weather(school zones and residential areas excluded), I figured our cops weren't going to waste their time on such a small matter, could it be that your crime rate is so low that minor speeding offences incur the wrath of the law? :)

2ndclasscitizen

08-19-2005, 05:31 AM

thats cause he lives in victoria, which is mad strict on speeding. Even our federal transport minister has had a go at them for having such low tolerances

AstonMartinV12

08-19-2005, 01:37 PM

i was speeding doing 65 in a 45 and some PT cruiser cop pulled me over. I got into my nervous mode and said im sorry i was speeding but my dad was just in an accident down on 66th. He bought it and we took deep breaths together and he left. What a sucker.

Vaigra

08-19-2005, 04:33 PM

I said "Sorry" and he said "be careful and just carry on" :D

clutch-monkey

08-19-2005, 04:49 PM

thats cause he lives in victoria, which is mad strict on speeding. Even our federal transport minister has had a go at them for having such low tolerances
is it true that in vic u can get busted for doing 3km/h over :eek:
cops up here usually let it go to about 10km/h over

Blue Supra

08-19-2005, 08:24 PM

yeh we get away with 10kph over here as well.

Victoria has to be the most tight-arse place on anything traffic related in the world i dare say.

the excuse i had for 186kph in a 110 zone was pretty lame.
" i was sposed to be there 3 hours ago and was trying to make up some time :o"

targa

08-19-2005, 08:55 PM

pfft....excuses....

Luciferous

08-20-2005, 10:01 AM

"Why were you driving on the wrong side of the road?"

"'Cos the other side was full."

(when caught speeding) "Damn son, I've been waiting for someone like you to come along all night..."

"Well I got here as fast as I could"

Let it be known I've known people who have actually said this.