Esperante
09-24-2005, 08:12 PM
Discovery of heaviest element
This hurricane mess and gasoline issues are proof that it exists. A major
research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest
element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Governmentium".
Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons,
and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert.
However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it
comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to
take over four days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead
undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and
deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually
increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become
neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that
Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium - an element
which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many
peons, but twice as many morons.
This hurricane mess and gasoline issues are proof that it exists. A major
research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest
element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Governmentium".
Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons,
and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert.
However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it
comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to
take over four days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead
undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and
deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually
increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become
neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that
Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium - an element
which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many
peons, but twice as many morons.