car realated jokes

[Mustang]

1. A boy was walking down the street, a car pulled up beside
him and a gentleman ask him if he'd like a ride in his car,
the boy replied that his mother had told him never to get
into strange cars.

He carried on walking, a block down the car pulls up beside
him again, the gentleman asked him if he would like a sweet
and a ride home, again the boy says that his mother had told
him never to get into strange cars.

He carried on walking... faster now, but again the car pulls
up beside him, the gentleman offers him a full bag of sweets
and a ride home.. again the boy refuses.. and start to trot
down the road..

Not to be put off the gentleman again pulls up to the boy and
offers him $20 and a bag of sweets if he would get into the
car.

The boy says... "look dad... you bought the Volvo...
live with it!!"



2 Grandpa was driving with his 9 year old granddaughter and beeped the
horn by mistake.

She turned and looked at him and waited.

He said, "I did that by accident."

She replied, "I know that, Grandpa."

He replied, "How did you know?"

She said, "Because you didn't say '---hole!" afterwards.

[350hp_civic]

lol funni lol volvo :D :D :D :D :p

hilarious :D

[UK CARS]

i herd the volvo one before though it had a skoda in it instead!!! :D :p lol, lmao!!!! :D

[SilverArrowZ]

i don't get the volvo one.. :confused:

but i got some.. hope you guys haven't seen it :D

One day a husband and his wife and his 70 years old father is driving acros the country to another city to visit their relative. The old man at the back is sleeping.

Just before they reach their destination, there is a bridge. By the bridge, there is a policeman with someone wearing formal suit beside him.

The policeman signal the husband to stop their car beside the road, so he did as told.

Winding down the window, the man in formal suit aproach and say to the driver:"Congratulation!! I'm the mayor of this city and you are the 10000th driver to drive through our newly constructed bridge! As a reward, you will be given $10,000 in cash. Tell me my good man, what do you plan to do with it?"

Stunned at first as the husband thought he was stopped by the police for speeding or something, he replied dumbly:"Errr.. sir.. you see, I always wanted my own driver licence. I never get to pass the test, maybe i can bribe them with the money i have now."

Shocked, his wife lean over and talk to the policeman:"Pardon me Mr. officer, please do not take my husband seriously, he had been drinking. He already had his licence, he always talk stupid when he is drunk!!"

Just then, the 70 years old granpa at the back woke up with all the noise. As soon as he open his eyes and saw the man in uniform, he shouted:"F**K!!! I told you we wont get far with a stolen car! Now look what have you done!"

[Cotterik]

hahahahahahahahahaha :D thats a gud one

[drakkie]

sure is a good one, mate

[drakkie]

Why does a belgiam guy takes a knife with him in the car???



srenroc tuc ot :D

[Misho]

Why does a belgiam guy takes a knife with him in the car???



srenroc tuc ot :D


other than the fact that i dont get this joke, isnt it supposed to be Belgian ??

[cp01ae]

Good to see I'm not the only one confused by that joke.

[Mustang]

i admit that it isnt a very good joke but if you read the answer backwards it makes more sense :D

[GT500]

read it backwards :)

EDIT: meh...posted late.

Good jokes guys! :)

[foto_choppa]

lol all of them are funny :D

[SilverArrowZ]

LOL backwards.. i got another one:

One day, an old man drive his Kancil(malaysian made 850cc 37bhp compact car in Diahatsu Mira turbo chasis) across the town, and all of a sudden the engine just died and won't start, as if the piston is jammed inside.

With no knowledge about cars, there is nothing he can do and poor guy don't even have a cell phone to call for help. So he have no choice but to try to stop other cars to help him. Since it is a highway, no one seems to care and just drive pass, and the old guy try all the way he can to stop cars(including showing his skinny furry leg :eek: just kiddin).

Just when he is about to give up, a scarlet colored car pull across and stop. Out came a youngster, the proud owner of the Ferrari. Trying to be helpful, he ask:"Hey old man, what happen? Need any help?" The old man reply:"Yeah, my kancil just broke down and i know nothing about fixing cars. Can you help me? I'll be greatful". Ofcourse the young man with a V10 Ferrari know nothing about 850cc 3 cylinder engine, and his cellphone just ran out of juice.

Not wanting to leave the old guy out there, he say:"You know, I could drag your car with mine to the closest garage, if you won't mind."(warning: Dont try this at home, Ferrari is not recommended to tow other cars). So the old man agrees but he knew the youngster will gonna drive very fast, so he told him:"Well, if you drive too fast for me, i'll toot my horn at you and blink my headlights at you too, so you will know to slow down." The young man agrees.

So they attach the two cars with a rope and off they go. The youngster start off slow, but getting used to drive fast, he get faster and faster. Realize that he is getting faster, the old man toot the horn and blink the lights at him. So the youngster slow down abit. (Now imagine the scenario is happening for sometime)

Just then a Lancer Evo pull up beside the Ferrari and blow his engine good, clearly looking for some action. Ofcouse the youngster do not want to loose out to a Lancer Evo(who would want to loose out to a 280ponies while you have 400++horsie). Off they go and race, forgeting that the oldman's Kancil is still behind. Seeing the Ferrari is getting faster and faster, the oldman keep on tooting the horn and flash the lights, but the youngster do not want to stop.

Just then a trafic police at the roadside with a speedgun on his and saw all the action, so he radio his buddy at the next section of the highway:"3 cars doing 150miles, suspect to be racing illegally, its a Ferrari, an Evo and a Kancil. And holy sh*t, you'll never going to believe me! The kancil is tooting and flashing the Ferrari so he can overtake him!!" :D

Somehow i don't think those who do not know anything about Kancil or Mira will find this funny.