The Great UCP Saga REDUX

[mechanixfetch]

For those who weren't around for the original or the knock offs this is a game where you complete one sentance in a story at a time. I start

The wind blew across the bare mountain road sending dirt devils spinning off round the corner.

[Egg Nog]

It was the perfect setting for the first annual UCP rally.

[Spastik_Roach]

Egg Nog rolled up in his Sahara Spec Porsche 959, while Matra Et Alpine was having trouble with the A310's electrics :D

[fpv_gtho]

he wouldve rathered have an A610, but after the odd electric shock, the A310 was back running normal.

[Spastik_Roach]

I was thinking this would be a dirt rally, and I havn't seen one of those sorta A610's, but i've seen A310's in the dirt, so thats why I mentioned it.

Anyway

I pull up, in a Rally Spec Saab 99 Turbo , ready for the startline. Whiteballz pulls up next to me in a Subby 22b, and revs the powerful boxer engine to 7000rpm! He snarls as Cotterik pulls up in a rally spec EVO 7

[whiteballz]

cool!

the next car to arrive is shifty in his dads 04' STI rally car, all of the sudden...

[Spastik_Roach]

R34_296KW arrives in a Nissan Maxima covered with spoilers and GTR stickers, and Skyline badges.. He parks over by himself with some hoes he picked up off the street :p

[fpv_gtho]

then i show up in an XR6T, set to become Australia's next cult car. But it wasnt just any XR6T, this one was equiped with an APS Phase 3 package giving 390kw and almost 800nm, able to push it to 307km/h :p

[Spastik_Roach]

Unfortuneately SlickHolden arrives in some POS Holden and kinda ruins the moment for FPV_GTHO

[stratos]

then i arive with my lancia Stratos at the start line ... :)

[Mustang]

and then everyone turns ound and says oh sh*t when i roll up in my 04 Focus WRC spec

[stratos]

but then when the other guys were argueing about the other guy cars matra et alpine was with his alpine a310 in the lead ...

[whiteballz]

(22b will eat that alive mustang!!! :p :D)

*aims gun at fuel cap of mustangs focus* BANG!
"wasnt me"

while mustang arrives stratos blows accross the finish stage sign, blowing the timer over, and hitting shiftys window, causing him to have a heart attack.

[Mustang]

Unfortunately because shifty was still moving his car rolled over the edge of a cliff, I then come speeding past in my Focus, pass Stratos whoc inb the cloud of dust cant see where he is going and takes a wong turn, then all i have to do is catch up to Peter :rolleyes:

[Matra et Alpine]

A large brown dog jumps out in front of the A310 and drags the driver from his car.

"rooby-roo" he howls and tears the mask from matra et alpine's head and reveals GUIBO !!

"see" says Thelma," it wasn't matra et alpine. Guibo was trying to steal the victory and accolades for himself. Matra et Alpine was in the rally all along in an ALpine A110 Grp IV ( get it right lads ) and can now take the rightful lead while we hand Guibo over to the big fat sheriff"

And so matra et Alpine roared off in THE rally car of the century to a deserving lead to the sound of a screaming 1800 engine and a howling "rooby roo" dog :)

[stratos]

but the wrong turn i thake was a shortcut and i was once again chasing matra vet alpine and with mustang behind me :D

[Spastik_Roach]

My awesome Saab hoons down a short straight, by chance passing a crashed Nissan Maxima, with fake Boobs all over the place! I nearly crash out over a super tight, super muddy hairpin, but hold it all together and speed off. In the distance, I see a beautiful French sports car in the not-so-distant distance. I put my foot down and catch up with the Alpine, and its a dead heat. All of a sudden, in my rear view mirror...

[stratos]

was stratos with the pedal to the metal :D triyng to pass S_P saab

[fpv_gtho]

but whilst stratos and spastik were fighting it out on the road, FPV came from right behind in his XR6T, struggling for traction in the front heavy, RWD, oversteering all over the place, but was able to sneak up on the inside

[Spastik_Roach]

I try not to flinch, despite seeing a absolutely beautiful car behind me. We come up to the corner, and I sense Stratos put a bit too much power on when I see him spin out in a big cloud of smoke. He manages to get it back on the road, but hes lost alot of time, and FPV_GTHO rumbles past in his Turbo Falcon. Meanwhile, me and Matra are still neck and neck, despite hearing a couple of strange noises from the Alpines engine..

[stratos]

when i get to the road i'm again out of the 3 fist places but i put again full trotle and i can see again fpv .... then it lunch time and i'm fixing my car because i get a lot of times out of track then ...

[whiteballz]

then from the far distance, whiteballz's lightweight rally spec 22b roars up to the rest of the pack, almost hitting a large canine.

[fpv_gtho]

but not before a large bull runs out on the track, fresh from pamplona

[Spastik_Roach]

The two classic rally kings still manage to keep ahead of the more recent competition, due to the fact that they weigh alot less and therefore can corner brilliantly on the twisty road.

[Mustang]

The two classic rally kings still manage to keep ahead of the more recent competition, due to the fact that they weigh alot less and therefore can corner brilliantly on the twisty road.

When i finally get to start the nixt stage after a dissapoining last stage (down in 5th now by the lok of it) it had really started to rain bad and the first 3 cars - MAtra, S_P and FPV chose dry tyres :(, Me and Stratos fight it out for a while and finish the stage with identical times. By doing so we have both caught up to the leaders with only 3 seconds seperating the top 5 :eek:

[Spastik_Roach]

Everyone stops for some nice lunch, made by Mrs Matra Et Alpine! Everyone compliments her on the lovely sandwiches cut into little triangles, and again heads off, with the rain now gone, causing a slightly muddy track. I switch to some better tyres and we head off, slipping and sliding but managing to hold on, with us 5 closely together, and causing more than one scratch on the paint. FPVputs his foot down and only just manages to keep control, and looks very scared. Suddenly, from behind us.comes...

[fpv_gtho]

crisis in his Commodore SV8, still with the traction control off :p

[Spastik_Roach]

Pieter u r married right? :o

Anyway

Everyone thinks he's mad! And its clear he is because when the first corner comes he simply drifts in to a big grassy hill, effectively writing off his Commodore.

[Mustang]

Pieter u r married right? :o

Anyway

Everyone thinks he's mad! And its clear he is because when the first corner comes he simply drifts in to a big grassy hill, effectively writing off his Commodore.


With the Focus' 4 WD and amazing acceleration Mustang quickly makes up places and before to long be is in 3rd only 2.7436 secinds behind Matra et Alpine and whoever is in second now

[r1ckst4]

while the others are busy concentrating on the race... r1ckst4 sits and stares at his computer's monitor at home... and lets out a fart :p ... he loves the smell of it... :D

[Spastik_Roach]

Umm, That random thing happend.

I was in 2nd, just 1 second behind the fast Alpine, it was a very twisty road and FPV_GTHO was really struggling, falling back to 5th, the oversteer causing him troubles.

[fpv_gtho]

whilst im struggling to take an 1800kg RWD car through the dirt, the superior 390kw of turbocharged straight 6 easily makes up for its unintended drifting :p

[Mustang]

while the others are busy concentrating on the race... r1ckst4 sits and stares at his computer's monitor at home... and lets out a fart :p ... he loves the smell of it... :D


after another few he decides that he cant stand the smell so goes and watches the race live :p :p

[Mustang]

after everyone struggling with RWD probs Mustang is now 0.5 seconds behind second place

[Spastik_Roach]

You do anything to keep up don't you :p :D

I finally start to edge past the Alpine, possibly because the Alpine's engine is starting to cough and splutter, and..

[whiteballz]

on the twisty section of road the subaru 22b is catching unbeliveably fast, with its AWD system and 295kw of power its eating up the road to...

[Mustang]

on the twisty section of road the subaru 22b is catching unbeliveably fast, with its AWD system and 295kw of power its eating up the road to...


As Matra slows down to a stop at the roadside to see if he can fix the car I speed past him nearly nocking his door off (who parks in a place like that) :p Mustang now has S_R in his sites

[Matra et Alpine]

As Matra slows down to a stop at the roadside to see if he can fix the car I speed past him nearly nocking his door off (who parks in a place like that) :p Mustang now has S_R in his sites
mustang mis-reads the stage instructions ( again ) and ends up in a pub car park.

Always one to take advantage of a situation, mustang sits down for a quick pint :)

matra having squeezed some garlic into the petrol is back running and catching up on the pack.

[Mustang]

After that "quick pint" Mustang is back and since it was a pint of Russian Vodka he is not bothered how ast he takes the corners so he has soon made up for his mistake, with the effects wearing off he slows down and bit now in 3rd

[fpv_gtho]

matra quickly gets back up to speed as i speed up behind him, wishing the upcoming tarmac stage would arrive already, so that i could exploit the full handling capabilities of the XR6T with its control blade irs :p

[Mustang]

matra quickly gets back up to speed as i speed up behind him, wishing the upcoming tarmac stage would arrive already, so that i could exploit the full handling capabilities of the XR6T with its control blade irs :p

But unfortunately for fpv a crazed fan (see below) has got onto the stage in her car and wont let him past untill he

[fpv_gtho]

luckily, i was able to overtake through some of the more twister corners thanks to the sheer power of the XR6T and its low down torque

[Karrmann]

but thenKarrmann came out of a short cut with his Prius Rally Car, parrell to R34_Ck9W, pushing him off the road.

http://www.carpages.co.uk/toyota/toyota_images/toyota_prius_hybrid_rally.jpg

[Mustang]

Karrman realising that he had missed the first TC had to go back to the start of the stage

[Karrmann]

so he decided to wait till round 2.

[Matra et Alpine]

so he decided to wait till round 2.
thus giving him time to charge the batteries with the Acme Battery Charge always kept at hand.

in the meantime, fpv has burst all his tyres trhowing that excess weight ( car not him ) around the corners and is now awaiting the arrival of Kwik-Fit tyre services. mustang has been pulled over by the Gendarmerie and charged with drink driving and is being sent to Devils Island. But he is saved by putting on his best "Inspector Clusoe" accent and bribing the guards with a slice of camembert. Whilst - talking of smelly things - r1ckst4, has entered the event in his manure-powered, eco-friendly ....

[fpv_gtho]

kombi, covered in flowers and other things reminiscent of the 60's and fitted with a 4x4 conversion

meanwhile, whilst i wait for new tyres, i get to the car with an angle grinder and start ripping away at the interior and bodywork, stripping out 200kg of excess weight

[Mustang]

so that was the end of day one Matra was in first, I was in second and S_R was in third all was ot play for in the next round of the championship

[r1ckst4]

so he decided to wait till round 2.
sits, stares, farts, points and laugh at karrman :D

[Karrmann]

thus giving him time to charge the batteries with the Acme Battery Charge always kept at hand.

in the meantime, fpv has burst all his tyres trhowing that excess weight ( car not him ) around the corners and is now awaiting the arrival of Kwik-Fit tyre services. mustang has been pulled over by the Gendarmerie and charged with drink driving and is being sent to Devils Island. But he is saved by putting on his best "Inspector Clusoe" accent and bribing the guards with a slice of camembert. Whilst - talking of smelly things - r1ckst4, has entered the event in his manure-powered, eco-friendly ....


a Prius or any hybrid recharges it's batterys itself by taking a little juice from the engine and using the generatorr connected to the electric motor.


but anyways, he decided to give his prius a tune up and he replaced the TOYOTA battrey with a slam battery which was on sale 2 for one at the Oxy Moron auto parts store.

[r1ckst4]

Whilst - talking of smelly things - r1ckst4, has entered the event in his manure-powered, eco-friendly ....
r1ckst4 yells: "I shall cal it... The Manure Powered mobil!!!!"
Mata et Alpine enjoys the scents from manure powered car and cheers: "hip-hip HOORAY!!!" while jumping around and claps his hands...

:D :D :D :D

[fpv_gtho]

whilst everyone is laying around with their fart mobiles, fpv gets back to work on his XR6T, making sure he wont come 5th in the upcoming tarmac stage where his car is sure to be at the front, especially now that its only 1600kg :p

[Mustang]

whilst everyone is laying around with their fart mobiles, fpv gets back to work on his XR6T, making sure he wont come 5th in the upcoming tarmac stage where his car is sure to be at the front, especially now that its only 1600kg :p


Overnight whilst everyone else is bodging up there cars Mustang made the Cosworth boys fly over to get some more power from the already mighty Focus WRCthis boosted it from 300BHP to 400 BHP and not down to a weight of 1200 KG, they also uprated the new suspention for better handling so Mustang was ready to go on the tarmac stage and was in with a chance of winning

[Matra et Alpine]

whilst everyone is laying around with their fart mobiles, fpv gets back to work on his XR6T, making sure he wont come 5th in the upcoming tarmac stage where his car is sure to be at the front, especially now that its only 1600kg :p
But will fpv's desperate attempt at an overnight Atkins diet shed another 200lbs of ugly, useless material ( or might he keep his head after all )

Matra settles down to an un-restful night with a bevy of French beauties.

Meanwhile ( whooshing sound effects from Batman cartoons ) over at r1cjkst4 there's problem with the plumbing and karmann leaps to help and ....

[Mustang]

But will fpv's desperate attempt at an overnight Atkins diet shed another 200lbs of ugly, useless material ( or might he keep his head after all )

Matra settles down to an un-restful night with a bevy of French beauties.

Meanwhile ( whooshing sound effects from Batman cartoons ) over at r1cjkst4 there's problem with the plumbing and karmann leaps to help and ....


seems that someone *cough*MATRA*cough* was trying to go aroung destroying everyones car because he knew that he didnt stand a chance on the tarmac unless he did some sneeky moves. when the rest of the groupe realised this they .....

[stratos]

but thenm after stratos lunch he gets into he car and strat to drive like crazy and manages to get right behind musntang focus .... but with some NOS help stratos manages to get again in 3rd place :D :D and can think again he can win :D

[Mustang]

but thenm after stratos lunch he gets into he car and strat to drive like crazy and manages to get right behind musntang focus .... but with some NOS help stratos manages to get again in 3rd place :D :D and can think again he can win :D


but then stratos wakes up and realises he must have been dreaming since everyone else is in the service area having finished the first days rallying and are eagerly awaiting tomorrows tarmac stages

[Karrmann]

Karrmann in pit lane decided to put on more flexable tires becasue hesaw some dangerous curves.

[stratos]

but then stratos wakes up and realises he must have been dreaming since everyone else is in the service area having finished the first days rallying and are eagerly awaiting tomorrows tarmac stages

and then sratos realies that somebody put on his lunch poison mushrooms makiing stratos with alucinations :D :D .. and that person was ..

[Mustang]

and then sratos realies that somebody put on his lunch poison mushrooms makiing stratos with alucinations :D :D .. and that person was ..

Stratos himself, he forgot to put them in someone elses lunch and by accident he ate them

[Matra et Alpine]

and still Matra smiles knowing the A110 was also a class winner on tarmac and Le Mans he can still win.

But he realises that as all his mechanics are French, they are still hungover from the cheap Beaujoulais from the night before.

Sacre Bleu ( and other meaningless French phrases later ) ... playing the Marseilles he opens a bottle of Absinthe and offers it around ......

[stratos]

and the fisrt person to drink was ...

[Karrmann]

so stratos got ______ to fill in for him fior just this round while he got treated at the hospetal wing for Mushroom poison.

[Karrmann]

and the fisrt person to drink was ...

Matra, because he thought, I'll take the first dring from it since i'm holding it.

[Mustang]

so stratos got ______ to fill in for him fior just this round while he got treated at the hospetal wing for Mushroom poison.


Since George Bush wasnt that good a driver Stratos wasnt looking forward to seeing what place he was in after day 2

[stratos]

Since George Bush wasnt that good a driver Stratos wasnt looking forward to seeing what place he was in after day 2

but stratos heard they were giving free drink and he automatically stay god and went to the place waiting he drink a litle bit of absinte :D

[Karrmann]

since it got dark, everyone went to the nearest Hampton Inn (http://www.hamptoninn.com/en/hp/index.jhtml;jsessionid=CNVV2A3ZZSVWYCSGBIU222QKIYF C3UUC?_requestid=194656) to get rested up for the next day of racing!

( I posted a link to hampton inn's website to show you that Hampton Inn is a real hotel chain)

[Mustang]

since it got dark, everyone went to the nearest Hampton Inn (http://www.hamptoninn.com/en/hp/index.jhtml;jsessionid=CNVV2A3ZZSVWYCSGBIU222QKIYF C3UUC?_requestid=194656) to get rested up for the next day of racing!

( I posted a link to hampton inn's website to show you that Hampton Inn is a real hotel chain)


when everyone got there, there was only 3 beds ;eft s Mustang decided that it would be better if he went and got the king sized bed and locked everyone out of his room

[Karrmann]

while Karrmann was watching the 200 channel cable in his personizalized suite with posters of priuses on the walls and Checkered flag blankets

[stratos]

and when me and DP and fot_choppa were having some beers at the pub :D :D

[Mustang]

while Karrmann was watching the 200 channel cable in his personizalized suite with posters of priuses on the walls and Checkered flag blankets


he came to think, "why the hell do i like Priuses so much" with this thaught he went outside and started to sabotage his own car :eek: he then went down to the local garage and baught.....

[Karrmann]

but stratos heard they were giving free drink and he automatically stay god and went to the place waiting he drink a litle bit of absinte :D

so he also landed in the hospetal wing for craziness

[Mustang]

and when me and DP and fot_choppa were having some beers at the pub :D :D


the bartender said " hey you young whipper snappers you are not old enough to drink" and swapped there beer with Orange juice

[Karrmann]

he came to think, "why the hell do i like Priuses so much" with this thaught he went outside and started to sabotage his own car :eek: he then went down to the local garage and baught.....

another Prius rally car and thought, I shouldnt of had that beer 2 hours ago

[Mustang]

so he also landed in the hospetal wing for craziness


Mustang was looking even more happy because this means that there were 2 less people to compete against on the following day, not that they would of been any trouble for the mighty Focus anyway

[Karrmann]

then he performed the modifications he put into his old prius rally car.

[stratos]

so he also landed in the hospetal wing for craziness

but i race driver like that cound't stay on a hospetal so he went again to the pub ... :D :D :D

[Mustang]

another Prius rally car and thought, I shouldnt of had that beer 2 hours ago


After Karrman had come round the rest of the groupe helped him to get hs car finished for the next day

[Karrmann]

and gotr kicked out because he choked the piano player :D :D :D (reply to stratos)

[Mustang]

but i race driver like that cound't stay on a hospetal so he went again to the pub ... :D :D :D


Mustang hadnt had a drink all night beacuse when the moring came he knew that all the other competitors would have a hang over and would miss the 7 am start so he would be the only one there and would have no competition :)

[stratos]

and its morning again and the guys were strating his enines cars .. i'm already geting confuse

[r1ckst4]

and gotr kicked out because he choked the piano player :D :D :D (reply to stratos)

Drives in with his Manure Powered car... points and laughs at the piano player

[Karrmann]

Karrmann bgave everyone a card for free gas for life and the next day he joind mustang at the starting line becasue he only had rootbeers! smart eh? :)

[Mustang]

and its morning again and the guys were strating his enines cars .. i'm already geting confuse


Did anyone sleep or were they all to eager to start :p

Anyway


Matra set out first cleaning the loose stones off the tarmac for Whiteballz and Mustang to go next, matra set a blinding time which some of the other RWD guys found hard to keep up with.

It was another close battle between whiteballz and Mustang with whiteballs only being 0.25 seconds behine mustang after the first special stage

[Karrmann]

and its morning again and the guys were strating his enines cars .. i'm already geting confuse

but Karrmann and mustang123 only drank rootbeers so they were at top prep!

[Mustang]

but Karrmann and mustang123 only drank rootbeers so they were at top prep!

Karrman was now coming a close 4th behine Whiteballz after coming from the back of the grid.

everyone else was feeling really drowsy so couldnt put in the fast times

[stratos]

but Karrmann and mustang123 only drank rootbeers so they were at top prep!

stratos seins that the doctors were loking for him again strat the stage and made the best time n front of matra :D

[Karrmann]

with only 2 hours till round 2 Karrmann came in witth his Prius and a case of Mouuntain dews.

[Mustang]

with only 2 hours till round 2 Karrmann came in witth his Prius and a case of Mouuntain dews.


after the first sage mustang could relaxa bit after having a near faultless first stage and only being a 2 seconds behind the lead he just had to check over things and he was done, stratos on the otherhand had thrashed his car round and tamaged the gearbox so it was a quick change for him but would he make it on time ?..............

[Karrmann]

stratos ended up getting too deep this time.

[stratos]

after the first sage mustang could relaxa bit after having a near faultless first stage and only being a 2 seconds behind the lead he just had to check over things and he was done, stratos on the otherhand had thrashed his car round and tamaged the gearbox so it was a quick change for him but would he make it on time ?..............

yes of corse and he was again in the race trying o pass now karrmann and his prius, and you knhow that lania stratos has more hp than the prius so the prius was piece of cake to pass ... and now stratos was chasing ....

[Mustang]

yes of corse and he was again in the race trying o pass now karrmann and his prius, and you knhow that lania stratos has more hp than the prius so the prius was piece of cake to pass ... and now stratos was chasing ....


Mustang who was 15 seconds ahead of him, he next stage was a bit slipery so Whiteballz and Mustang were doing almost identical times again but Matra dropped down to 3rd after a slight misjudgement of a corner.

at this time Whiteballs was in the lead by .5 second matra was in 3rd 8 seconds down and stratos was in 4th 11 seconds down

[Karrmann]

the race wasabout to start, everyone was lined up at the line waiting for the green flag. Karrmann did a list minute modificatinpouring MD into the radiator to make the car peppier.

[Mustang]

the race wasabout to start, everyone was lined up at the line waiting for the green flag. Karrmann did a list minute modificatinpouring MD into the radiator to make the car peppier.


unfortunately Karrman had forgotten that the night before when he was destroying his old prius he had replaced the water th eggs, when he poured it into the radioator he still didnt notice, but as he was going through the stage he woundered why his temp warning light kept coming on, the eggs had boiled in the water pipe and stopped the water flowing to the engine, this meant that at the next service point his engine was nearly ruined and the mechanics (DP, Foto_choppa had to work really fast to replace the new engine in the 1 hour allowed

[stratos]

then mustang wins the stage and behing him was stratos only 1 sec of diference so matra was only 3 sec ain front of stratos ...

[Mustang]

then mustang wins the stage and behing him was stratos only 1 sec of diference so matra was only 3 sec ain front of stratos ...


with mustang in the lead this now boosted his conidence and he went on to win the next 3 stages leaving him 9 seconds ahead of his nearest rival :)

[stratos]

so stratos was doing similar times to mustang and he pass matra and now has chasing witeballz

[Karrmann]

I got back into the race with my new Prius Rally car with modifications and I got by R34_CK9W, and he started to push me so I shoved his plastic skyline off the road and into the wall and he wrecked and I went by laughing , only 2 seconds behind stratos, I'm now scrambling to catch up.

[Mustang]

I got back into the race with my new Prius Rally car with modifications and I got by R34_CK9W, and he started to push me so I shoved his plastic skyline off the road and into the wall and he wrecked and I went by laughing , only 2 seconds behind stratos, I'm now scrambling to catch up.


Its now unch time and all the guys go down to the local resteraunt so as not to get guided towards the beer if they went to the pub ...

[Karrmann]

Karrmann stopped at a Burger king for a double whopper with cheese and a mountain dew mmmmmmmmmmmm :) He git a scratch and win card and he won free gas for life!!!

[Mustang]

Karrmann stopped at a Burger king for a double whopper with cheese and a mountain dew mmmmmmmmmmmm :) He git a scratch and win card and he won free gas for life!!!


.....again after getting free gas for life before.

Over dinner the conversation came up about Egg Nog he was there at the beginning of the first day but had seemed to just dissapear :eek:

[stratos]

Karrmann stopped at a Burger king for a double whopper with cheese and a mountain dew mmmmmmmmmmmm :) He git a scratch and win card and he won free gas for life!!!

as stratso was making company to karrmann but he waqs heating a long chiken :D

[Karrmann]

but karrmann gave away all his free gas cards when the team hekped him repair his Prius rally car, so he had no free gas cards until now.

[Karrmann]

as stratso was making company to karrmann but he waqs heating a long chiken :D

with tobasco sauce of which he offered some to stratos and gave stratos the drumsticks.

[stratos]

but stratos had plenty of petrol to run of the atacks of karrmann :) .. and get near to whiteballz

[Karrmann]

karrmann wondered why stratos thought he was evil...... :confused:

[Karrmann]

Karrmann then sits down at the table and begins to chow down on the tasty frie dchicjen bucket.

[Mustang]

Karrmann then sits down at the table and begins to chow down on the tasty frie dchicjen bucket.


Karrman then realsises that he has been talking to himself for a while and it is back to the days racing

[Karrmann]

Karrmann then goes to pass R34_CK3W but when he cut in front of him, he wasn't all the way passed so he spun him out and sent him flying into the wall and he crashed his patched up skyline, Karrmann then persues Mustang.

[stratos]

Karrmann then goes to pass R34_CK3W but when he cut in front of him, he wasn't all the way passed so he spun him out and sent him flying into the wall and he crashed his patched up skyline, Karrmann then persues Mustang.

but in front of karrmann is still matra, witheballz and stratos :D ... but now mustang wins one more stgae ans stratos is 10 seconds from it and behind stratros 10 sec. whiteballz, 21 sec. matra and 22 sec. karrmann

[Karrmann]

and you forgot R34_CK4W, who was wrecked by karrmann again, with his faulty plastic skyline!

[stratos]

and you forgot R34_CK4W, who was wrecked by karrmann again, with his faulty plastic skyline!

but then apears a frind of R34_CK4W with a thank trying to smash karrmann prius ino the wall but ....

[Karrmann]

but karrmann pulled him out of the prius and then he drove back to the Hampton Inn in thepouring rain.

[Spastik_Roach]

I make my return in the Saab, showing off its beautiful handling characteristics in this twisty tarmac stage, and squeezing up to 4rd, with the leaderboard now standing at Whiteballz in 1st, Matra in 2nd and Stratos in 3rd. I could still see the Focus WRC car sliding around all over the place, probably because hes got too much power on a slightly slipperly track :D

I'm in a dead heat with Stratos in 3rd, until he starts ramming me, I quickly pull back, and without him realising I had gone he starts to ram the air until he eventually spins out into a ditch full of monkey-rats :D

So i'm in 3rd and only mere seconds behind Matra and Whiteballz, until from behind comes...

[Karrmann]

karrmann though was in the pouring rain and the rain was so hard, his winshield wipers were almost useless as the rain kepy pouring down his winshield a s a waterfall. he pulled onto the wrong freeway in his prius, he was lost in a storm, but then a Tornado fell onto the freeway he sppun his prius arouynd and he drove up the exit ramp and he got onto the street as the tornado tore apart the exit ramp he flee for his life as the tornado destroied the town he got out of that town and to the Hampton Inn where he just made it in where they heard that the tornado was supposed to be heading to, but it change course and it didn't come into this town.

[Karrmann]

I make my return in the Saab, showing off its beautiful handling characteristics in this twisty tarmac stage, and squeezing up to 4rd, with the leaderboard now standing at Whiteballz in 1st, Matra in 2nd and Stratos in 3rd. I could still see the Focus WRC car sliding around all over the place, probably because hes got too much power on a slightly slipperly track :D

I'm in a dead heat with Stratos in 3rd, until he starts ramming me, I quickly pull back, and without him realising I had gone he starts to ram the air until he eventually spins out into a ditch full of monkey-rats :D

So i'm in 3rd and only mere seconds behind Matra and Whiteballz, until from behind comes...

but unknown he was racing on an empty track becasue round 2 was over and everybody went back to the hampton inn to chill.

[Spastik_Roach]

No karrmann this is 3rd stage :D

It was now raining heavily and everyone decided that we should go in and fit wet tyres. Unfortuneatly..

[Karrmann]

r34's winshield wipers broke off thanks to faulty japonese auto parts, he spun out and Karrmann pushed him and he crashed. Karrmann then got up by stratos who was trying to get into pit lane becsuse a gear broke loose in his tranny karrmann then got side by side with spastic roach when they got into the dangerous field of hairpins....... :eek:

[Karrmann]

karrmanns passenger side winshield wiper squeege flew off! he had a big blind spot! He then went to pit road and got it replaced and then hewas off without losing his 4th place position and was in persuit of spastic roach for 3rd!

[mechanixfetch]

Then as they are still racing on a mountain it began to snow heavily building up snow drifts along the next few stages. Mechanixfetch by virtue of his name is in the service area at the end of the stage selling Snow tires to the un-prepared rally drivers and team who foolishly believed that it wouldn't snow in July.

[Karrmann]

Karrmann bought some and then he went back up but Spastic Roach got stuck in the snow becasue he was un prepared, so Karrmann stole 3rd position, stratos still waiting in pit lane, ordered a new tranny over the internet.

[Spastik_Roach]

Thanks to this cars Sweedish Origins, it had Snow Tyres in the boot, so I put them on, and was just mere seconds behind Karrmann's Prius again..

[Matra et Alpine]

Stage photographers catch the moment when Egg-Nog goes the wrong way in his 914 and the A110 in it's winning element it leaps ahead of the compeitition and builds up a commanding lead.
http://www.rensport.com/porsche/artwork/posters/monte-carlo%2071.JPG
The question going around the service area is -- when did Egg-Nog join. His team manager reported .............

[Egg Nog]

Ooooh... nice one :) Never seen a rally 914 before!


Anyway... Egg Nog was really only heading back to collect his Dakar-spec 959 (mentioned early on in this thread), which had blown a head gasket the previous day.

[IBrake4Rainbows]

Unfortunately the Repair shop had made a Mix up and Egg Nog Accidently recieved a Brand New Cayenne in Rally Spec. Naturally fuming, he decided to try and trash in using a sledgehammer, but ended up making it look better, kind of like..........

[Mustang]

Unfortunately the Repair shop had made a Mix up and Egg Nog Accidently recieved a Brand New Cayenne in Rally Spec. Naturally fuming, he decided to try and trash in using a sledgehammer, but ended up making it look better, kind of like..........


one of the wacky racers,

[Karrmann]

Karrmann went up on eggnog who was in second but seened to not be able to catch up he was on his butt but couldn't seem to be able to pass him...

[Mustang]

Karrmann went up on eggnog who was in second but seened to not be able to catch up he was on his butt but couldn't seem to be able to pass him...


With Mustang now Doen in second and 5 seconds behine Matra it was looking like he might finish secone after the day with there only being one stage left that day.........

[Karrmann]

mustand cut off spastic roach, causing him to slow down, so karrmann passed him and is now coming up on mustang.

[Mustang]

mustand cut off spastic roach, causing him to slow down, so karrmann passed him and is now coming up on mustang.


start of the last stage of the day, Matra leavesand sets a good time, Mustang is next out and finishes the stage 2 sconds behine Matra, Karrman had a slight misshap on one of the last corners causing him to loose time but still finieshed 1.5 seconds ahead of whiteballz, FPV_GTHO didnt do as well as he thaught he would finishing in 4th 6 seconds behine the leaders.

[fpv_gtho]

4th's not that bad, not that long i was 5th. it seems the overpowered, RD XR6T didnt do too bad at all against the lightweight AWD's an Matra's Alpine

[Mustang]

so off to the pub they go, everyone is only drinking orange juice tonight so that they are not like they were this morning :P

[Karrmann]

except for Karrmann, he was drinking root beers. :)

[Mustang]

except for Karrmann, he was drinking root beers. :)


laced with Vodka. sson Karrman realised this and went to bed unhappy that he had been tricked

[Karrmann]

Karrmann then drove a H2 through the pub, closing it down nuhahahahahha!

[Mustang]

Karrmann then drove a H2 through the pub, closing it down nuhahahahahha!


But he was so pissed that what he thaught was the pub was inface his Prius, he was hilusonating so badly........

[Karrmann]

so he took it to maako and got it repaired in a hour! :)

[Mustang]

so he took it to maako and got it repaired in a hour! :)


but first he had to find a way of getting it there since he had no trailer and the H2 had een damaged in the crash........

[fpv_gtho]

not only that, but there was only 1 petrol station between the rally and Maako, and Karrman knew the H2 was going to need refueling more than once

[Karrmann]

but karrmann pushed the H2 into a body of water after he destroied the pub with it because he thinks hummers suck.

[Karrmann]

and he gor a buddy of his who owns a ram to tow it.

[Karrmann]

but after that was all settled and everyone went to sleep at the Hampton Inn.

[Karrmann]

but Karmann went to 711 to get beef jerky, when someone with a pole knocks him unconchous. he came to and when he thought he saw Lindsay Lohan working the cash register, he knew he had to get to the hospetal wing right away. but he checked out and hadn't gone crazy at any point after inpact.


(makes you wonder, doesn't it? hehe) :)

[Karrmann]

he checked out of the hospetal wing a ok with no head injuries thank goodness!!

[Spastik_Roach]

Me was Grr, me got my sweedish mechanics to do up my engine, and put some light weight rims, for the next stage, wihch was a strenuous mountain tarmac/gravel stage. I was in 5th, behind FPV_GTHO, Whiteballz and Mustang123 and Matra Et Alpine., as Stratos had run away. We were off! I felt a huge power increase in the engine, and quickly sped up to 2nd place, suprisingly behind FPV_GTHO, who was doing very well, because of the Falcons new weight loss modifications and turbo upgrades. There was still the odd oversteer from the Falcon, but it was controlled. The Alpine was only seconds behind me, I was preying that its French origins would let it down :D :p

[fpv_gtho]

those "secret" modifications i had done between the last stage and now had done wonders, combined with the new T-56 manual i had fitted from the new Mk2 BA Falcon

[Karrmann]

karrmann decided to re work his rims too and replaced the steel ones with alloy ones.

[escort mexico]

all of a sudden a late entry appears - a Mk2 rs1800 driven by Escort Mexico speeds onto the back of the pack

[Karrmann]

but the race hasn't started yet.

[Karrmann]

well the race was about to start in 2 hours.

(I brought this back up to get people off the rep thing :))

[Esperante]

but escort mexico slams into Karmann's huge ass H2 and Karrmann doesn't fell a thing and continues driving through pubs...

[Karrmann]

well for a last minute entry, atombomb03 enters with a Fiat 500 filled woth racing stickers. It achieved a Pathetic 22 HP

[Karrmann]

that nioght, atombomb left a a letter that was spam pinned to each door at the hotel. The hotel manager punched him ant threw it out, he then saw all the racers chucking spam at his car........
ROFL :D :D :D :D

[Blue Supra]

(OMFG This thread is hilarious i just read the whole thing)

Bluey gets his Celica GT4 rally spec ready to compete and heads to the track for some early preperation...

[Esperante]

Karrmann, I only think you're allowed to do one at a time, you are really SPAMMING.

Esperante sits down comfortably in his pristine Panoz Esperante GTR-1 Street Legal Version finished in Pearlescent Green/Purple/Blue and speeds off at a whopping 220 mph towards the track without breaking a sweat (or a shift)...

[Karrmann]

just then Matra et Alpine and TrueChaoZ sped into the parking lot of the Hotel with a renault Espace F1 that was alike a police car and it said UCP.com police on the front doors. They arrested atombomb03 and hauled his car to impound, I bought it to stick out into the middle of the track to see if any of the drivers would crash into it....

[Blue Supra]

All the other drivers left sleeping at the hotel because of the sleeping drugs conveniently put in their orange juice by a sneaky barman (Bluey in disguise) So Karrman (because he drank root beer) and Bluey are the only two at the track at the start time!

[Esperante]

but Esperante's alarm system caught Blue in the act (tryig to put sleeping meds in my orange juice) so the computer slashed him into tiny bits and Esperantes pet cat ate them for breakfast. (Besides, you know I don't drink OJ ;) )

[GTR Dreamer]

oooohhhh,wait theres another last minute entry!
its GTR in his full rally spec 20b series 5 RX-7!!!
he takes it for a quick test drive, and gets up to 240kph in the first 5mins of the practise forrest track, all of the other racers start to get scared of this mean RX-7, but no fear is needed because they got to get started on this race

[Blue Supra]

Fortunately for Blue it was a clone of him doing to dirty work while he was resting in a room full of toyota merchandise and hot beach girls...

[Esperante]

but Esperante pressed on not being a TOTAL WHORE with no respect like Blue was, and everyone in the starting line up began to quake in their boots when seeing this bad boy
http://www.speednation.com/store/media/panozGTRAA78201.jpg

Blue Supra, don't take it personally, it's just playing around, I just want to say it's all just joking before someone gets pissed at me :P

[Blue Supra]

tis kewl,
Esperante forgets that this is a gravel/road stage and that such a car will be completely unsuitable for this race, Blue shoots off in his Celica setting a blistering time in the practice round...

[Esperante]

What blue does not realize is the car is equipped with adjustable ride height and suspension so ha it does go off the road faster than a celica so HA!! neeener neener pumpkin eater!!!

[Spastik_Roach]

I had some Sweedish Blondes over for a nice cup of tea :D

The next day. Everyone seems to have recovered, thanks to my special secret antidote to drugged poisoned alcoholic hangovers :p . Everyone travels to the seaport, because the UCP Rally was heading overseas, first to Sweden :D

Ofcourse in Sweden my Saab 99 Turbo easily won on the stage, due to the immense home field advantage, and all the Swedish mechanics that made my Saab real smooooth :D

After a little party with a couple of local girls, the UCP Rally was off to.. (insert country here)

[GTR Dreamer]

its GTR's second practice/qulifying round, he revs up to about 8000rpm, and dumps the clutch, hes off, drifts the first sweeper nicely, brakes for the hairpin, and shoots off out of it in 3rd gear, hooks 4th and heads up the slight hill. then off back round the rest of the circut and pulls a 7:28, an awesome time, considering it was 10seconds faster than Blues run!

[GTR Dreamer]

im too slow at typing

[Blue Supra]

After spatik awoke from his dream it was time for the last stage to begin, Matra was lookin threatening with his Alpine while fpvs XR6 was looking somewhat different today...

[GTR Dreamer]

the XR6 had been modifyed by some mechanics that fpv had travelling with him , and they got a bit drunk any way the car came out looking like this after some we drunken painting....

[Blue Supra]

the RX7 was chompin at the bit and the subarus and saabs were looking mean...

[GTR Dreamer]

like this... lol, quick 2min paint job (they were drunk remember!)

http://img49.exs.cx/img49/5681/1729_9mg1.jpg

[Esperante]

Final stage was an all street stage, %100 tarmac in a closed course leading from Battery Park to Riverside Church in Manhattan, a good 40 miles total track, through nasty 90 degree turns. The track went left and right past the NYSEm through Green wich Village, throuh SoHo and Chelsea, through Midtown at 42nd street (the Chrysler Building) onto the Park Avenue overpass through the Pan Am building and Grand Central Terminal, heading West to a Times Square filled with a cheering audience, up Central Park West and thenonto Broadway where it continued up to Riverside Drive. The Panoz's handbrake made good use of drifts through the sweaty cemented roads and the finely tuned Panoz won in it's home country, and the Rally ended.

Upset, Blue tried to assasinate Esperante...

[Blue Supra]

Esperante woke up from his dream about winning when Blue ran over him in his bright yellow celica and realised the REAL race was about to begin in Australia, over an all gravel stage...

[Esperante]

But Blue Supra woke up from his dream because he realized that he was a pussy on all gravel stages, and that the real thing was over, Esp won *yay!*

[Blue Supra]

(cmon make it more interesting guys...)

At the start and theyre off with europeans in the lead closely hounded by the new comers this round, fpv seems to struggling to maintain control of his RWD on the gravel while the AWD are holding nicely....

[GTR Dreamer]

u sure know how to kill it.

GTR wondered over to the sleeping dreamers and woke them up! they were in New Zealand for mixed stage.
the rally begins on the gravel then heads into the bush and finneshes up with the tarmac

[GTR Dreamer]

k, my last post fits in between blues and esperantes

[Esperante]

The AWD of the Panoz stuck to the course like glue, and it rode turns like it was on rails...

[Blue Supra]

The panoz was quick but not as quick as the Celica and the other smaller lighter purpose built rally machines! Blue quickly closes in on his 1st target, Karrman in his Prius and...

[Esperante]

Blues quick Celica completely demolishes Karrmann's winpy Prius and moves on to the mud portion of track.

[GTR Dreamer]

GTR finnaly catches up to Blue in his celica and the battle is on...

[Esperante]

Esp is way up at front and waits for Blue and GTR to battle it out and slow each other down, while Karrmann passes the two at 14 mph, a Prius land speed record!

[Blue Supra]

Blue plants the foot and flicks the Celica cleanly around the muddy course spraying mud all over GTR as he sits behind him closing in on Esp whos only 2 seconds ahead when all of a sudden a strange smoke comes from under esps bonnet...

[Esperante]

The strange smoke is my friend, who's smokin pot on the hood, so I climb out the window (while on cruise control ;) ) and throw him off. The weight off the car causes the car to pull forward with immense acceleration leaving Blu way behind..

[Blue Supra]

immense acceleration into a tree as cruise control doesnt steer the car for you... i fly past you and make a shot at the lead... with GTR closely foloowing...

[Spastik_Roach]

Just then, outta NOWHERE, My Saab speeds right up, and smashes the rear end of the Panoz. The Saab is unscratched, due to its new Carbon Fibre Bull Bar, but the Panoz is seriously damaged, with broken exhausts dragging on ground causing sparks to fly up. I quickly pass him, but Blue Supra drives right behind the Panoz. The sparks get into his engine and his engine catches on fire! Ahhh!!

[GTR Dreamer]

its GTR's turn, hes got nos!
its time for some fun he yells at blue, the dials up the boost on his hks boost controller, and the car pulls foward, he hits the nos switch and the car thunders foward up by esperante, he catches a wif of the pot and the 'accedentialy' (sp) taps esperantes rear, the GR-1 slides uncontrollably and is temporarilly out of the race...

[GTR Dreamer]

oopps 2 slow again...

[Spastik_Roach]

Its neck and neck, me and GTR Dreamer. I deploy my secret weapon. From out of nowhere, Sweedish Blondes with no tops on jump onto GTR Dreamers RX7, and GTR Dreamer, paralyzed by the beauty, crashes over a bridge :P

[Spastik_Roach]

I laugh and laugh and laugh, until I see FPV GTHO's Falcon behind me. It looked like he had repainted it in the new "Hero" colour, thus removing all the hippy spray painting, and he had racing stripes, with add 20hp :p

[fpv_gtho]

like this... lol, quick 2min paint job (they were drunk remember!)

http://img49.exs.cx/img49/5681/1729_9mg1.jpg


those mechanics weren't drunk, they were on something else with all them flowers :p


after a quick tune up, the APS XR6T was back to 100% and hunting for the frontrunners

[Blue Supra]

Then my fire extinguigher deploys and extinguished the sparks before they could do any damage, and jump back into the race hurtling around the track mus flying everywhere, up ahead he can see spastik in 2nd place and he closes in...

[Esperante]

The tailpipes quickly dismantled from the pipe leaving the raw, muscular tone of the engine to come from the stubs left.The damage to the front of the GTR01 didn't do anything to performance, seeing as the engine is mid-front mounted, and Spastiks ignorance to the rear didn't do anything to performance, so the Esperante flew over the brdge and into the topless Swedes turning them into bloody chunks which my cat ate for brekfast. He quickly caught up to the pack...

[Blue Supra]

before a topless swede landed on your roof and crushed you inside your car unable to see out the windscreen... im now only half a second behind spastik...

[GTR Dreamer]

but i know the track well, and the rx7 with its octane boost launches me back on track and im still in the race, of course the blondes are so skinny and not gaining much wait to the rx7 so i keep them on as they are quite amusing...until one pulls out a gun and threatens to shoot me, i open up my suparoof and they all fly away into karrmans pirus im back in the race...

[Esperante]

but the strong reinforced aluminum roll bar inside the luxurious leather interior brushed the swede of without a scratch, the swede then landed in front of Blue, who's car ran over it. But oh no! She's stuck under the Celica's chassis! The heat from the dragging friction and from the engine quickly starts her flesh on fire, quickly spreading to the cockpit. Blue supra is forced to abandon his car...

[Blue Supra]

and dive through esps window and forcible remove hima and steal his, leaving esp on the side of the track with a broken celica and a burnt swede, Blue punches the throttle and leave Esp long behind...

[Esperante]

Then Blue forgets everything bad he said about the Panoz, as he realizes the incredible performance pulls him up to the leader in no time at all!!! Esp, meawhile, calls for a backup car. The fresh, untouched car arrived in a big semi 30 minutes later (still no sign of Karrmann). I punch the throttle down and risk everything to catch up, making better time then ever before.

[Esperante]

Esperante then puts the race on pause, for he must go to bed (it's 11:00 PM in Milwaukee :P )

[Blue Supra]

Blue unpauses the race as its 2.20pm here...
he blows past spastik in this muscular beast but the handling is twitchy at best, and hes quickly catchin up on... (who is actually leading???)

[Spastik_Roach]

I think its FPV_GTHO.

Its a absolute hair pin. I yank my handbreak and twist my car around it perfectly. Unfortuneatly, FPV_GTHO's Falcon has oversteered too much again. Since I like the Falcon so much, I get the magical flying Swedish Blondes to come pull him out of ditch.

I find my little rocket booster switch (powered by Swedish alcohol) and press it, quickly catching up Blue. I ram him again with my carbon fibre bull bar, and he does a complete 360 spin, so he is still in the race, just behind me a little.

[Blue Supra]

i recover from spatiks dirty driving and pursue him relentlessly forcing him into corners at a much higher speed then he'd like, pressuring him into a mistake until eventually we hit the last area of the stage, TARMAC...

[fpv_gtho]

after several minutes of carefully revving to get the XR6T out of the ditch, the Falcon finally scrabbles for grib and sends a shower of gravel skyward, making everyone behind me think its hailing

[Blue Supra]

but by now the contest is down to Spastik and Blue, on the tarmac course, the Panoz i stole from Esp is handline better, while Spastiks mud/gravel tyres arent giving him enough grip forcing him to understeer, which i take advantage off and pass him on the inside and sprint for the finsih...

[Spastik_Roach]

I jam my foot down on the accelerator, so my tires become slicks :p. I spray some water on the intercooler :p, adjust the boost, and slowly grip back to blue.

[Blue Supra]

Oh no spastiks tread is completely worn out and hes sliding left right and centre, Im strugglin to keep ahead of this swaying understeering maniac behind me! The finish is in sight, I plant my foot to cross over first with the wildly steering Spastik less then a second behind me...

[fpv_gtho]

But then my XR6T with its rooster tail of gravel comes screaming round the corner and just grabs a podium spot

[Blue Supra]

So with Blue in 1st Spastik in 2nd and FPV in 3rd, the final round is over...

[fpv_gtho]

and my rear bumper is just hanging on by a single bolt after all that gravel threatened to tear it off

[Spastik_Roach]

I find a short cut :D Through a Dunlop factory :p I quickly change tires into Dunlop Semi Slicks, and i'm now neck and neck with Blue Supra!

[Spastik_Roach]

Damn I too late.

[Blue Supra]

the next day Karrmans Prius crosses the line...
i send my recovery team to pick up whats left of my celica, they mysteriously find....

[Spastik_Roach]

Alcholic Cookies!

[Blue Supra]

Which contain a miracle drug that allows them to carry my burnt out Celica over the line, the also find Esperante asleep in a ditch so they leave him some cookies and keep walking...

[GTR Dreamer]

now its time to move cross country for the next stage of the race.....its and all out pumis/grass farm track!..

[Blue Supra]

This is an endurance event is it? with two in one day?

Blue Lines up in his Brand new celica, with added lights for the Night stage...

[GTR Dreamer]

GTR, has had his RX-7 cleaned, and all the pannels have been dinged out... this thime a co-driver is needed! GTR has 1 of spastiks miricle bloneds doing that job while blue rings up his grandma...

[GTR Dreamer]

of, course a 4hr rest period can be played.....some one else fill in wots happeing in the pits...

[Blue Supra]

The Night stage involves a difficult grass stage across Spastiks farm. Watch out for the sheep... they could play a critical part in determining the outcome of this race!

[Spastik_Roach]

Little did GTR know, that the Blonde was under MY control, and would lead him to his DEATH!

Anyway, I set up my Saab, add some lights, and fit some new parts, such as a BOV, Greddy Intercooler, a new Garret Ball Bearing Turbo, a new ECU and a new exhaust system that sounded grrrrrunty :P I got Stig Blomqvist (One of the greatest rallyers of all time, also won championships in Saab 99 Turbos) to be my co driver, cause hes cool :p

[Spastik_Roach]

http://members.tripod.com/~saabv4/rally/3.jpg

My car is the big pic at the bottom, and the pic in top left corner!!!

[GTR Dreamer]

GTR, hears Spastik hipmotising the blonde and when she comes over to him, he rams her hed up the exhaust after he'd been reving th sh*t out of it (the exhaust is a 5") she burns and dies....GTR drops her off in the stream...then continues adding new parts to his ride....

[GTR Dreamer]

i dont c anything spastik

[fpv_gtho]

Little did GTR know, that the Blonde was under MY control, and would lead him to his DEATH!

Anyway, I set up my Saab, add some lights, and fit some new parts, such as a BOV, Greddy Intercooler, a new Garret Ball Bearing Turbo, a new ECU and a new exhaust system that sounded grrrrrunty :P I got Stig Blomqvist (One of the greatest rallyers of all time, also won championships in Saab 99 Turbos) to be my co driver, cause hes cool :p


but its still nothing compared to my APS XR6T with the Garret GT3540 ball bearing turbo, T-56 6 speed manual, APS bar and fin intercooler and APS single 3" to twin 2.5" to single 3.5" exhaust :p

[Spastik_Roach]

Whos your co-driver? Gotta get one or get disqualified.

[fpv_gtho]

Steve Hoinville, the person responsible for the XR6T's 2003 Targa Tasmania result :p

[Blue Supra]

heres pics of my celica!
My co-driver is Takumi Fujiwara,

If you dont know who that is then watch Initial D;)

[Blue Supra]

Blue adds two jets engines and wings to his celica to make it fly... unfortunately the boost controller doesnt handle the extra power and karks it, Blue scraps the jet idea...

[Matra et Alpine]

The AWD of the Panoz stuck to the course like glue, and it rode turns like it was on rails...
Reports of Esperante riding on rails latest news .......

The clerk of the course had to convene a meeting with the local police and the FIA.

Esperante has had his stage times revoked and is on a warnign to adhere to course rules .....

You must to stay on the roads, using the route for the trains will incur penalties. Detours onto railway lines wil lbe punished.

( :) it was funny at the time :) )

[Karrmann]

then Esperante tried a mud shortcut and he got stuck and his car started to sink the mud. TrueChaoZ drove up in a 97 mitsubishi Pajaro Mini with a winch attached to the front. he pulled out the winch and attached it to Esperantes spoiler he then reversed the Pajaro trying to pull Esperante up. I then clipped the pajaro. The winch went free of Esperante's car and it went flying in a helecopter blade motion when it landed in....

[Esperante]

dude, Karrmann, I rode the rails like 3 or 4 pages ago, you're WAAYYYY LATE. I crossed the finish days before your prius :p

While the Panoz is in the shop to be repaired, Esp chooses the Porsche 959 rally car for the next all mud stage. He picks Matra et Alpine as his navigator, seeing as he knows a lot more about rallying then I do :p

[fpv_gtho]

....whilst i've let my co driver steve hoinville go for a quick squirt in the car so he can get accustomed to its rapid acceleration and still be able to read his map and notes, as the APS XR6T has alot more grunt than the F6 Typhoon test mule he piloted in the 2003 Targa Tasmania :p :D :cool:

[Karrmann]

thatt night I dumped a bucked of cockroaches into Esperantes room while he was asleep.......

[Matra et Alpine]

....whilst i've let my co driver steve hoinville go for a quick squirt in the car
aw man that sucks.
Didn't he see the toilet at the back of the service area :)

[Esperante]

thatt night I dumped a bucked of cockroaches into Esperantes room while he was asleep.......
I wake up the next morning and go over to Karrmann's and run over his Prius in an H2.

[Karrmann]

so I just buy another racing prius and then send the Blues Brothers after esperante :p

[Esperante]

Yeah, that does a hell of a lot of good. John Belushi's dead and Dan Akroyd's out of shape :p

So I floor it in my 959, already late for the race.

[Karrmann]

i'm arelady at the race, putting mud tires on the Prius then attaching a HUGE turbo to it.

[Esperante]

but it doesn't matter, the Prius is too low and sinks into the mud on the first test run :p

[Karrmann]

so I break esperante's windshield, highthen the suspension 3 knots and put on chunkier tires.

[Esperante]

wow, you break my plexiglas windshiel, which not even a hammer can dent, not even bullets can penetrate, not to mention you just destroyed my property so I call the police and a paddy wagon takes Karrmann to jail :p

[Karrmann]

well I replace the windshield and TrueChaoZ lets me free, I start and I go through the first turn so smoothly.

http://www.ultimatecarpage.com/images/large/1374-6.jpg

well, r34_296kw tries to pass me giving me the finger so I nudge him and he smashes into the wall in the next turn so he wrecks and is out of the race, Karrmann takes 2nd place. Just then Esperante gets stuck because his car was accually made for the streets. Karrmannn then takes first place passing seperante :p

[fpv_gtho]

aw man that sucks.
Didn't he see the toilet at the back of the service area :)

No Matra :rolleyes: Wrong squirt, you know what i meant :p

[Esperante]

Just then Esperante gets stuck because his car was accually made for the streets. Karrmannn then takes first place passing seperante :p

That's right, the 959 was only built for streets. I forgot. My bad :(

[Karrmann]

well while Matra's taking a shit behind the service area, TrueChaoZ tries to pull Esperante up from out of the mud with his Pajaro again

[Esperante]

what? when was I stuck in the mud? If you're not stuck in the mud with your prius, I sure as hell aren't. And when was Matra taking a shit? Dude, re-read the story.

[Karrmann]

read my last post and Matra said (didn't you see that toilet at the back of the service area:)) now back to the story

TrueChaoZ was able to get Esperante out of the mud nad he went off passing Blue Supra and fpv_gtho and Matra et Alpine got back on the track and they also passed Blue Supra and

[Esperante]

....whilst i've let my co driver steve hoinville go for a quick squirt in the caraw man that sucks.
Didn't he see the toilet at the back of the service area :)

Did you read that at all Karrmann? Not only that but Matra's my navigator ;)

So the dirty 959 easily surpases the Prius, moving at a record 17 mph.

[Karrmann]

the Prius was doing more than that!!!! QUIT MAKING THIS THREAD ANOTHER CHANCE FOR YOU TO RAG ON THE PRIUS!!

[fpv_gtho]

So the dirty 959 easily surpases the Prius, moving at a record 17 mph.


which in no time had Karrman bringing up the rear of the field :p

[Karrmann]

well i'mn neck and neck with esperante noth moving 200 fricken MPH when fpv_gtho passess us both and takes first