Automotive idiot stories...

[Egg Nog]

Well, I'm sure we all know our fair share of automotive idiots. You know who I mean ;)

So, let's share some stories here. (I'll put in a star in case someone doesn't understand)

I'll start with one guy I know. Before he wrecked his Sentra SE-R, he installed an APC intake. After installation, he claimed his car was "throwing down 200+ RWHP".*

Secondly (same guy), claimed that he would buy an S2000, but he wanted a new one, like a 2004. He told me that any car over 2 years old or so would be totally unreliable and would've "lost all its power". ;)

Lastly (also same guy), said he wouldn't want to buy an NSX because "they all have loads of problems". He told me he looked at some 1991 models, but said he wouldn't want them because they were all "covered in body rust" :) **


*Nissan Sentra is FWD.
**Acura NSX is all-aluminium, and will not rust.

[henk4]

a number of straight quotations from other topics on these forums would certainly qualify for this thread. I am not sure whether I would care to find them. I have to think hard to come up with original stories, because I don't want to kill this thread immediately. I'll be back

[NoOne]

I've mentioned it before about people wanting to change they're "powerband", I play with them and tell them they need to upgrade their pulleys to accept a broader powerband.
LMFAO :D :p :D

[crisis]

Insert all r34296kw comments for staters.

[Egg Nog]

C'mon you guys, I know there's lots of stories out there!

Like the guy who put armor-all'ed the entire surface on his tires on his IS300 and crashed into a tree pulling out of his driveway :)

[DwZX35]

Some kid I know thinks porsche is pronounced "porsh", wait, everyone it that stupid, its like "porsh-a", and I f anyone on this board didn't know that, i'll murder them...er---lecture...them?

[Batmobile_Turbo]

Originally posted by DwZX35
Some kid I know thinks porsche is pronounced "porsh", wait, everyone it that stupid, its like "porsh-a", and I f anyone on this board didn't know that, i'll murder them...er---lecture...them?

i know that but, i still suffer from
not-making-the-change-to-saying-porsha-insteadof-porsh-itis.

[Egg Nog]

Well, I don't really consider people like that to be idiots...

The shortened "Porsh" is two different things: Firstly, its generally considered to be a somewhat of a nickname. Secondly, its what probably most of people believe is the correct name and pronunciation. These people are wrong, and the others are not.

Unfortunately there's no way of telling between the two without sounding like a pompous bastard and saying it's "Por-Scha" :)

Hey, I should know ;) I'm Mr. PorSHA 914 :P

[crisis]

Originally posted by DwZX35
Some kid I know thinks porsche is pronounced "porsh", wait, everyone it that stupid, its like "porsh-a", and I f anyone on this board didn't know that, i'll murder them...er---lecture...them?
Thats getting a bit precious. I say porsh cause Im Stralian and I dont speaka lika European. Likewise I dont expectorate when I say Lamborghini.

[henk4]

Originally posted by crisis
Thats getting a bit precious. I say porsh cause Im Stralian and I dont speaka lika European. Likewise I dont expectorate when I say Lamborghini.

Is it possible to include sound bits to these posts? I would love to hear you say Lamborghini. How do you pronouce two Porsches? If you do that as I think you would, just forget about the final "s" and you are spot-on.

[crisis]

Originally posted by henk4
I would love to hear you say Lamborghini.
No you wouldnt. I slaughter it.

[Falcon500]

Well here gos my story about the woman who filled up her oiluntill it came out the tappet cover and wonderd why it wouldent start.
Then there was the woman in the red mid 80s skyline 4 door who was driving along and when she stabbed the accelerator there was this horrible SREEEEEEEECH so i walk up to her while shes stopped at the lights (im walking to work here) and knock on her window and kindly tell her her fan belt soundslike it was loose (ive had the same thing on my falcon forgot to pull the altenator tight enough one time) so she looks at me and says "what the **** do you know!" so i shrug and walk off after work im walking over the bridge and there was a long line of cars at the head of that line there was a familar red 4 door skyline waiting to be towed with the bonnet up and steam commingout of the radiator....I just smiled and waved that one felt good:D

[BiTurbo]

Stretching it a bit here, but some boats have car engines?
Besides I gotta tell you about my friend and two of his boats.
1). Filling up the boat (on trailer) at petrol station, wonders why its taking so much fuel and why the smell is overwhelming. Noodle is filling boat through rod-holder, he had removed filler-cap and got distracted, went back to boat and stuck in the wrong hole. Took the boat into the bush and pulled the bung and let 100 litres of fuel run into the sand, environmental moron as well.
2). New boat, must keep it clean and thoroughly washed down, keep salt away. Concentrated hard on outboard motor, washed carefully all areas and rinsed with lots of fresh-water. Must wash areas where salt-water may collect, rinse out this hole at back/top of motor - air-intake water trap - doesn't trap water fed into it by garden hose!
Tried to start engine next day, after launching boat, made lots of strange noises and stopped dead. Mechanic said everything including crank and heads full of water - $AU2,000 to fix.
I was there for the first one and he actually told me about the second - I wouldn't have told anyone - ever.

[henk4]

Originally posted by crisis
No you wouldnt. I slaughter it.

try gently first, after a while you may be able to master the trick.

[NoOne]

I may never have never pronounced Lamborghini properly, I have been told by a friend that in the Italian language all "g" 's are silent, so as he pronounced it, it was like Lam-bor-hee-nee, he might be right, but I gave him that WTF look anyways. :D

[crisis]

When I was just a hairy arsed boy I remember helping a lady with a car full of kids push start her car in a shopping centre car park. Me and a mate got behind and started pushing while she sat in the car. When we had enough speed I yelled out now ( as in now drop the clutch). Having recieved my message she proceeded to turn the key thus cranking the motor over. Me and my mate just stood there looking at each other in disbelief as the car rolled on with her cranking the motor over.

[Falcon500]

Theres a mate of mine who bought an 85 model celeca it was nice car but it had some serious understeer too it and also had some very ordinary tiers on it as well we constantly warned him that this was a serious problem like when i was driving it i wouldent go over 110 km/h itwas that bad and also there is the fact he was drivingit around on his L plates with no fully liscence super vision so one time when him and my mate who had a falcon were out driving around his warning gauges went off and when they looked under the bonnet there was oil comming out of the plugs and my mate with the flacon told him to go home and theyll look at it tomorrow. So what did he do he kept driving it and picked up 2 more people and went driving around mt ainsley at 140 k/mh and manged to roll the car 4 times.
He told us (before we saw the car) that he could still drive it and when we looked at the damge we just laughed and left him to his own devices theres just no helping somepeople....

[BiTurbo]

Originally posted by Batmobile_Turbo
i knew a guy who said he was going to put a 600hp engine in his jeep pickup:p
Ah - it's fairly common -
and fast:)

[BiTurbo]

Originally posted by Batmobile_Turbo
i just think it seems kind of stupid.
So does a W12.:rolleyes:

[crisis]

Originally posted by BiTurbo
So does a W12.:rolleyes:
VW answers the questions that no one ever asks. W8? Or better still a 5 cylinder. Niether the potential power of a 6 or the potential economy of a 4. Just that little bit worse than either. What the miniscual amount of fuel used by the extra piston makes a difference? Or the marginal increase in output is needed from a 4 to a 6? Engineering for its own sake.

[henk4]

for the first mass produced 5 cylinder engine the credits go to Mercedes with the 300D from the seventies.

[BiTurbo]

I forget -
who asked the question again?

[crisis]

Originally posted by henk4
for the first mass produced 5 cylinder engine the credits go to Mercedes with the 300D from the seventies.
You and your diesels! Also the weirdo Discovery motor although I think that was dictated by the requirement to dance around some European law.

[-datsun 1600-]

my african mate said exactly the same thing as DwZX35 quote said

He thought his mums 87 1.6 bmw could go 240km cause the speedo said so hahaha

[mechanixfetch]

I've heard people refer to "Honda Acuras" when describing a civic on several occasions

[henk4]

Originally posted by crisis
You and your diesels! Also the weirdo Discovery motor although I think that was dictated by the requirement to dance around some European law.

Can't help the fact that it was a diesel, at that time I was driving borrowed petrol cars anyway. I have never seen a dancing discovery (and never discovered dancing) so I don't know what you mean.

[r34_296kw]

Originally posted by -datsun 1600-
my african mate said exactly the same thing as DwZX35 quote said

He thought his mums 87 1.6 bmw could go 240km cause the speedo said so hahaha so does that mean that the speedometer is lying?????????? :confused: well this mate of mine said his 2.0 corona can beat any skyline/evo/gto etc because his speedometer says 240 km and the other cars says 180 km ;)

[Egg Nog]

Hahaha... okay, a couple of days ago when I was at the food court at the mall I overheard some 15 year old (ish) kid braggin to his friends about how his dad had a supercharged RX-7 with NOS and an intake and....wait for it... "forged pistons" :eek:. Man, what an idiot... ;)

[r34_296kw]

Hahaha... okay, a couple of days ago when I was at the food court at the mall I overheard some 15 year old (ish) kid braggin to his friends about how his dad had a supercharged RX-7 with NOS and an intake and....wait for it... "forged pistons" :eek:. Man, what an idiot... ;)sounds like my m8 except my m8s in nz

[Batmobile_Turbo]

i had a computer science teacher that said he had a my-ata (miata) camry.

[-datsun 1600-]

Hahaha... okay, a couple of days ago when I was at the food court at the mall I overheard some 15 year old (ish) kid braggin to his friends about how his dad had a supercharged RX-7 with NOS and an intake and....wait for it... "forged pistons" :eek:. Man, what an idiot... ;)

LOL i hate kids like that all they think by just chucking a nos tank in there car without strengthing any internals they will be like the guys on fast and the furious............

[Egg Nog]

LOL i hate kids like that all they think by just chucking a nos tank in there car without strengthing any internals they will be like the guys on fast and the furious............

Actually, the main joke was that he said it had "Forged Pistons", whereas the RX-7 has a Wankel Engine, and doesn't have pistons at all... :)

[Falcon500]

Well mate of mine gave me the website www.carchatposerlist.com and thats a list of liers and idiots in the car chat room in yahoo chat its somepretty funny stuff.

[Egg Nog]

Well mate of mine gave me the website www.carchatposerlist.com and thats a list of liers and idiots in the car chat room in yahoo chat its somepretty funny stuff.

I imagine we'll eventually have to make one of those here :) Not for a while, though. There will eventually be way more users, and it will be unavoidable!

[Falcon500]

Well that is an idea Egg_nog and one i happen to think is actually a very good idea somthing we could throw at wouter and see what the man thinks.

[296kw_r34]

Well that is an idea Egg_nog and one i happen to think is actually a very good idea somthing we could throw at wouter and see what the man thinks.you should do that

[Batmobile_Turbo]

Well that is an idea Egg_nog and one i happen to think is actually a very good idea somthing we could throw at wouter and see what the man thinks.
and put it in that car trivia forum egg nog was talking about.

[Falcon500]

Well its a good way to rember and laughat people who tried to BS us.

[mechanixfetch]

Just a little update. The "automotive Idiot" who was featured at the very beginning of this thread has since had his licence revoked. There is some justice left in this world. :)

[Swissbeatz]

Well, I don't really consider people like that to be idiots...

The shortened "Porsh" is two different things: Firstly, its generally considered to be a somewhat of a nickname. Secondly, its what probably most of people believe is the correct name and pronunciation. These people are wrong, and the others are not.

Unfortunately there's no way of telling between the two without sounding like a pompous bastard and saying it's "Por-Scha" :)

Hey, I should know ;) I'm Mr. PorSHA 914 :P


In french we say "Porsch" and in german it's "PORRRSCHEEEE" in fact in english it's hard to pronounce

[crisis]

Recently heard a story where some guy complained to my mate that his Lancer (front whell drive stock girls model) did not live up to his expectations. He thought that since it was a rally car it should be really good off road. Wonder if that is a Mitsubishi sales tequnique.

[Batmobile_Turbo]

Recently heard a story where some guy complained to my mate that his Lancer (front whell drive stock girls model) did not live up to his expectations. He thought that since it was a rally car it should be really good off road. Wonder if that is a Mitsubishi sales tequnique.
do they sell the good Mitsubishis in Australia, like Lancer EVOs?

[Falcon500]

We do get somedecent models but we only get them in the smallest quantitys (a handfull dedicated to us and any after that are special orders) the rest will come in a few years time when they are hand me downs from japan otherwise known as "grey imports"

[crisis]

do they sell the good Mitsubishis in Australia, like Lancer EVOs?
As Falcon 500 said. This idiot obviously sucked down all the advertising and comfortable in his automotive ignorance, set forth to purchase his rally car.

[Batmobile_Turbo]

As Falcon 500 said. This idiot obviously sucked down all the advertising and comfortable in his automotive ignorance, set forth to purchase his rally car.
hey maybe i could take a stock ford focus off-road, after all it's a rally car. :D

[NoOne]

Returning from work one morning last week, I'm travelling with the flow of traffic , about 120-125 km/h. For no apparent reason traffic came to abrupt halt, as I'm braking hard I habitually look into my rear view and realize that behind me is a BMW with the driver talking on the cellphone, he does not appear to be braking. This happens all so fast, I dive into the shoulder to avoid getting creamed and stop. I glance to my right and see him plough right into the car that was in front of me, I'm still not sure he was on the brakes.

The car that was in front of me gets pushed into the car in front of him, and that car in turn gets pushed into the car in front of him. We now have Mr."Ultimate Driving Machine" and the three cars in front of him involved in a car wreck. I'm on the shoulder thanking my lucky stars that I travel in an outside lane as much as possible so that I do have an "out" in case something does happen.

Long story short, the police show up along with an ambulance and two tow trucks, as an eyewitness I stay and give my statement ... and unbelieveably this guy from the BMW tries to shift some blame onto me, saying that if I had stayed in my lane the damage to the other cars would have been minimized !!!

He was not remorseful or apologetic to anyone involved, and in typical fashion he was also the least injured, the driver of the car in front of me was loaded into the ambulance, I don't think he was injured too seriously.

If the police had been there a few minutes later, I might've fed this guy his phone, I really believe they should be made illegal and carry a stiff penalty when used in motion, maybe cars should be built with some sort of signal inhibitor on board, where the only way to get a signal is from a factory or aftermarket handsfree unit.

[Matra et Alpine]

I really believe they should be made illegal and carry a stiff penalty when used in motion,
In the UK it is now illegal to have a mobile phone turned on in the car unless it is installed in a hands-free kit. LOTS of hands-free kits were sold over the Christmas holidays as the law came into effect on Jan 1.
When on my motorbike, I found the HORN and my race exhaust a very effective means of getting dozy drivers OFF of their calls and get them to give thier attention to driving :)

[Egg Nog]

NoOne, just reading that story pisses me off. I too am completely in favour of banning cell phone use in moving cars. You'd think people would have the common courtesy to just pull over. Idiots. :)

[NoOne]

I believe cellphone use is illegal here too, but I don't think it is being enforced the way it could be. I'm no techno whiz, but I think future issues could be avoided by creating some kind of electronic signal blocker or something along that line into new cars.

I drive this stretch of highway almost daily, I see people do the craziest, stupidest things and I'm thankful I have the experience to keep myself out of danger, 18 yrs of driving and only 1 minor accident which was not my fault, I pray that I'm not just lucky !!! ;)

[Falcon500]

One of the things about BMWs they come with phones installed on the cars (depending on model) standard and its an otion through out the blander cars i know this because ive seen a mechanic nearly get creamed while some snob was on his phone in his 5 series. And the first motor accident i was ever involved in was a me crossing at a zebra crossing and a blue holden ute with a tradsmans trailer on it pulled up for me and the woman who was a fair distance away was on the phone and shopwed no signs of slwoing up was on the phone i ran backwards shouting at the guy in the ute to move off and she creamed himthe damge to the trailer was minimal about the size of asmall cucumber and he had a bit of whiplash but the driver of the celica fared worse while the damge on the front pannels would of been minimal in a moresolid car both head light both front 1/4s the bonnet and the stearing wheel where her noce connected needed repllacing.

[Batmobile_Turbo]

I believe cellphone use is illegal here too, but I don't think it is being enforced the way it could be. I'm no techno whiz, but I think future issues could be avoided by creating some kind of electronic signal blocker or something along that line into new cars.

I drive this stretch of highway almost daily, I see people do the craziest, stupidest things and I'm thankful I have the experience to keep myself out of danger, 18 yrs of driving and only 1 minor accident which was not my fault, I pray that I'm not just lucky !!! ;)
cell phones are banned in indiana now too, one of my moms friends told her.

[crisis]

I saw a lady in a Prado playing the harmonica on her way to work. Every time we stopped at traffic lights or in traffic she would put it up to her gob and really get into it. Im thinking of taking my guitar actually.

[crisis]

A pictures worth a thousand words.

[Falcon500]

Some rice for flavor i think the pikachu honda would be the funnyest of the lot.

[carlover]

Some crazy ricers and the funniest sticker ever.

[carlover]

More crazy ricers.

[Doza]

What you guys don't know is that stickers, body kits, euro lights, and excessive double layer wings add about 50 horsepower each, with torque to match. Those stickered-eurod-winged-kitted out cars can go in excess of 300 miles an hour, with zero to sixties less than 3 seconds. Look in the picture as two similar cars are compared.

[Falcon500]

lol nice pic here if your not a fan of rice try this page www.riceornot.ricecop.com
really kewl site you get to rate on the ricy scale.

[KarateBoy]

a Girl in my chemistry thought that her VW Jetta can go 200 miles an hour because the speedometer says so. She used the phrase "I know its small but it like very fast" She said this after driving 4 miles in 30 minutes in the middle of winter.

[DiabloGTR]

Some girl at school thought that the woodtrim in her father's BMW was marble.
Some idiot at Lunch was like, "A Civic can probably outrun any Ferrari because it is front wheel drive!"
I felt like punching the asshole in his face because he kept on insisting that his Civic was the best, and that adding some stupid tail to it added an extra 100 horsepower. :rolleyes:

[KarateBoy]

Some girl at school thought that the woodtrim in her father's BMW was marble.
Some idiot at Lunch was like, "A Civic can probably outrun any Ferrari because it is front wheel drive!"
I felt like punching the asshole in his face because he kept on insisting that his Civic was the best, and that adding some stupid tail to it added an extra 100 horsepower. :rolleyes:


WOW that even stupider than my story. Andi thought my story was near the top.

[Batmobile_Turbo]

Some girl at school thought that the woodtrim in her father's BMW was marble.
Some idiot at Lunch was like, "A Civic can probably outrun any Ferrari because it is front wheel drive!"
I felt like punching the asshole in his face because he kept on insisting that his Civic was the best, and that adding some stupid tail to it added an extra 100 horsepower. :rolleyes:
i made a diagram of how a civic could win a race against a ferarri 360, it shows that civics are better at these races.

[Falcon500]

Well the other day i was in yahoo chat just cruising from room to room(ok i tell a lie i was drinking and wanted to cause trouble :p ) and i ended up in teen chat (my gawd i have nothing else to say about it but jesus H christ words cant describe the stupidity. There dumber the the guys in import chat!) well anyways there was some toss who was chatting to some shelia with a raunchy name and he was bragging about owning a mustang mach 1 and at age 17 and for your first car? so i quz him a bit so i ask him about the car simple at first man/auto? and so on so then i ask him about what engine it has and he answerd"EDELBROCK"
Magpie_302: edelbrock eh?....you do realise mate they make engine parts NOT engine themselves. So you want to try that again?
I forgethis name but he then sent me a pic of a 69 model blue with a shaker (if im rembering correctly shaker ment small block as im certian the big blocks came out with a bonnet mounted scoop) and changed his answer that it had a ford in it
so then i grilled him about the engine the car contained and as it turns out it "apprnetly" had a 5.4 in a genuine Numbers mach 1 which invoked a whole new kind of grilling and as it turns out it was put in before he bought it and when i asked him what kind of 5.4 it was it was too dark to see what it was (when it gets dark here its about 6am in california where he claimed to be) but i think its DOHC
So i leave him for a bit and he bignotes his car again so i ask him about the manaul gearbox it had which was a 4 speed.....and shit well a old 4 speeder behind a very modern 5.4 in a numbers mach 1? "this is just a hunch mate but i think i smell shit and im under the opion its comming out of your mouth" and i grill him again asking him what gear is reverse next too and he "thought" it was first
me: mate you dont know off by heart? in DA Car u drive around all da time?
him:No im blonde
me:**NEWFLASH ASSHOLE** im blonde too you must be an idiot
Him:No im actually very smart
me:yeah so smart you dont know your gears off by heart
him:I SAID IM BLONDE
me:your creating an oxymoron and expecting people to belive you dont know somthing based on the colour of your hair and yet be smart at the same time and as i said im blonde too D**head jesus H christ if dumb were F**ing dirt youd cover 4 F**ing acres! nobody believes you poser go away and die now
and with that he was gone :) its fun to dust off messenger and posers sometimes :D

[baddabang]

hahaha thats good stuff edelbrock engine. one would think that if there going to say they have a good car then the person should know the car the Say they have. ne way great story

[NoOne]

I recently heard this term "Iceberg Pilot", it refers to people who do not brush snow off of their cars, they just use the wipers and roll down their door windows (fronts only) to clear the snow, roll them back up and then be on their way.

I've watched these people as they drive down the highway with 4-6" of snow on their hoods and roofs, with outward visibilitycomparable to a tank. Stupidity is an amazing thing to behold. ;)

[Falcon500]

In canberra we get frosts out here putting a thin layer of ice on the windows...nothing a litle cold water and letting your window wipers rip wouldent fix. Well anyways my old man being a bus driver has the (mis)fortune of seeing some of the weirdest behavior on the roads like one one car that nearly nailed his bus they both stopped and he noticed the windshield was still coeverd in frost! upon closer inspection the vietnamise or asain of some varity driver had scratched a hole in the frost with her credit card and the hole wouldent of been any bigger then that.....and she though it was ok to drive :D

[crisis]

No comment needed.

[Doza]

No comment needed.
Comment is needed.... how does that happen?

[baddabang]

huh? thats funny, sure is one way to jack up your car to swap out the flat. :D :D

[carlover]

Pop a wheelie!

[carlover]

Car:
Pontiac Sunfire

Description:
Some girl that had just purchased the car the day before thought she could take a turn at 60 MPH. Look closely, the car is balancing on a power line.

Location:
Ohio

[escort mexico]

we were at a car show with this guy, and as he looked inside the engine bay and saw the altinator, and said "look at the turbo"

[Batmobile_Turbo]

Car:
Pontiac Sunfire

Description:
Some girl that had just purchased the car the day before thought she could take a turn at 60 MPH. Look closely, the car is balancing on a power line.

Location:
Ohio
that happened in indiana too.

[carlover]

that happened in indiana too.

What car was it? Do you have a pic of it?

[Batmobile_Turbo]

What car was it? Do you have a pic of it?
i'm not sure but when i lived there it was in the news paper and we drove down that road all the time, we saw the cut wire though. they must have been a real idiot because it is a small street and there is slow moving traffic there :p

[crisis]

This guy had his dads 308 HJ Statesman and wound it up to 140kmh down a side street. Narrow enough to make it impossible to see any cars or kids entering the road. Hit the brakes at the end where it met a main road and they natrually faded ( rear drums ) and he ended up half way accross the road. Luckily no one coming anywhere. Then on his way to school one day took off at a level crossing after the train had gone and didnt wait for the lights to stop. Watched in horror as the next train passed behind the car missing the boot by inches. I think I used up most of my good luck in those two scrapes. Certainly were cheap lessons , cheaper than I deserved, but reshaped how I thought about driving at a relatively early age.

[Batmobile_Turbo]

This guy had his dads 308 HJ Statesman and wound it up to 140kmh down a side street. Narrow enough to make it impossible to see any cars or kids entering the road. Hit the brakes at the end where it met a main road and they natrually faded ( rear drums ) and he ended up half way accross the road. Luckily no one coming anywhere. Then on his way to school one day took off at a level crossing after the train had gone and didnt wait for the lights to stop. Watched in horror as the next train passed behind the car missing the boot by inches. I think I used up most of my good luck in those two scrapes. Certainly were cheap lessons , cheaper than I deserved, but reshaped how I thought about driving at a relatively early age.
that was you?

[crisis]

that was you?
Affirmative.

[Smoke]

We were stopped at this red light, and we found a dude with a rig who had tried to tune it up and all.He had less then like 3 inches of ground clearence, but still tried to get over the huge bump in the road.He ended up getting stuck on it, but luckily he had the hp to get the big thing over it.

This nice big dodge ram I think it was, with this upgraded engine in it had the next misfortune.He had these huge tires on it, so he thought with all his upgrades and all it could take anything.So he loaded it up to the max and floored it.He ended up blowing the right rear, and it looked like he had hydrolics, cause it had the left front tire up in the air.Way up.The funny thing was he was about to hit this tuner car on spinners if he hadn't have gotten the flat.

Weird eh?

[cls12vg30]

It's about 1993, I'm in high school, and it's final exam time, so everybody is getting out of school at like noon and is all fired up for summer. My girlfriend at the time and myself are getting a ride home from my best friend in his Dad's big '84 Ford Pickup that he borrowed. We're going to leave the school parking lot, when another friend (who I never really liked and today is a mortal enemy) pulls up in his parents' Suzuki Sidekick. He pulls up next to us, facing the opposite direction so we're driver-to-driver, we're discussing what we're doing that night. So we go to leave and Suzuki-idiot-boy decides he's going to be cool and burn some rubber, which of course requires a neutral drop in his automatic Sidekick. What this drooling moron forgot is that his front wheels were cranked to the left, so he drops it in gear, and peels out.....right into the rear quarter panel of the Ford. We're sitting in the cab of the Ford, dumbfounded at the supreme idiocy we have just witnessed. We ended up pounding the dent out of the Ford, the Suzuki needed a new bumper and lights, about $1100 USD damage.

[Matra et Alpine]

Not so much idiotic ( have to say that itr was my brother )

He was sitting at the lights in his Bagheera.
( French small sportscar )

Tuned Rover SDi appears beside hime ( huge BMC lump with V8 )

The Rover blips the throttle and looks over to brother, who has left common-sense in the office that day.

So as the lights turn green the Rover blasts it and brother dumps the clutch with engine on 5K expecting to take off.

Well usual French incompetency and abaility to always ruin a great car by failing to spot the obvious means the car doesn't have an engine stabilising bar.

So the engine promptly tears itself out of it's engine mountings and drop the engine, gearbox and have the suspension onto the floor.

That weekend we designed a pair of stabilising bars and fitted it to mine and after 3 months iin the garage to his :)

[henk4]

Not so much idiotic ( have to say that itr was my brother )

He was sitting at the lights in his Bagheera.
( French small sportscar )

Tuned Rover SDi appears beside hime ( huge BMC lump with V8 )

The Rover blips the throttle and looks over to brother, who has left common-sense in the office that day.

So as the lights turn green the Rover blasts it and brother dumps the clutch with engine on 5K expecting to take off.

Well usual French incompetency and abaility to always ruin a great car by failing to spot the obvious means the car doesn't have an engine stabilising bar.

So the engine promptly tears itself out of it's engine mountings and drop the engine, gearbox and have the suspension onto the floor.

That weekend we designed a pair of stabilising bars and fitted it to mine and after 3 months iin the garage to his :)

A detect a hint of masochism in your faith to French cars ;) Boyracers appear to have no age limit.

[Matra et Alpine]

A detect a hint of masochism in your faith to French cars ;) Boyracers appear to have no age limit.
Made me :) probably because it's 100% right.
At least my masochism hasn't extended as far as buying an Italion motorbike - which in Scottish summers is a catastrophe :) :)

( em, I should have added a 'yet' on the buying choice )

[henk4]

Made me :) probably because it's 100% right.
At least my masochism hasn't extended as far as buying an Italion motorbike - which in Scottish summers is a catastrophe :) :)

( em, I should have added a 'yet' on the buying choice )

Well a good love-hate relationship is not so bad (see also your story about the cleaning of the model cabinet)

[Falcon500]

Well today i was on the net and i was stiring one bloke up about skylines saying opur are diffrent untill kometda decided to sitck himself in it and while some of the facts he stated where some what close to what they where he got nearly all of it wrong
His biggest offences saying the r31 silloute wasnt australian ok thats a tought one but given the sillouttes local contenet and compare that say with the commaodre coughopelcough of the time it wastechniclymore austrlain then australias own car :D
He seemed to think motor sport other then 1% had no rules or devolpment outside of engines which is just through and though ignoreence
He didnt seem to think that austrlian had any tuneing houses or raceing firms other then FPR or HRT when we have raceing and modifying firms both accredited and other wises for nearly everything under then sun.
He got excedingly ass hurt over the fact i didnt add the naturaly aspirated in saying it needed a v8 engine to comply with v8 super car rules.
He seemed to think the VS HRT v8 super cars were 2 doors. (where did that one come from?)
and he seemed to think avesco didnt own the v8 super cars series only the konica series.

Everytime i go on that chat rooms i suually come oput wit a name to add to my "LIST" :D

[SUPER_TUNED]

how do i get a picture by my name
:confused: :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused:

[Matra et Alpine]

how do i get a picture by my name
:confused: :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused:
Click on User CP at the top left of the page and either pick a standard avatar or create and upload your own. The max pixesl size is 90x90.
If you need more help there's an avatar thread you can seek assistance in. Some of us are happy to do a quidk resize if you don't have the tools.

[Falcon500]

I actually sent him a message about that....your modsare quite vigilent that way :p

[Niko_Fx]

I have a friend who claims he did 140 mph on his Honda CR-V. After we messed up with him a little bit he said that it was actually kmh and that he never said mph........ (yeah right)

[Falcon500]

Hey matra i was just wondering if you had any information about MATRA maeking a v12?...iwas talking to some jack ass from canada who believes he has one im curious to know if such a beast ever existed....i have my doubts...and hes makeing claims of 720hp

[Matra et Alpine]

Hey matra i was just wondering if you had any information about MATRA maeking a v12?...iwas talking to some jack ass from canada who believes he has one im curious to know if such a beast ever existed....i have my doubts...and hes makeing claims of 720hp
The answer's yes and possibly.
The V12 was used in the Le Mans sportscars and the F1 cars.
http://www.matrasport.dk/Cars/Sportsprototypes/Gallery1/Medium/ms80.jpg

I knew guy who raced a 650 in UK and he swapped out the V12 as he couldn't get ANY support, no spare parts and limited life on the running engine.
These things are VERY rare.
IF the guy has it, ask him what he wants for it :)
This is what it sounds like .... http://www.matrasport.dk/Gallery1/Sounds/Misc/m650_mf_pass.mp3

[Falcon500]

Well i doubt he has one and he seems to be rather a dim chap and refers to me as a nerd becausei cant talk to people on an intelctual level (youll be suprised how many intelligent people there are in teen chat) and im also apprently a nerd because i can jar him at nearly every instance on cars....lat night i was haveing some fun with him and made him believe this engine he claims to have in his 3000gt is made by renault :D (i was on the scotch last night and i found it excedingly funny...it was even funnier he bought it :p ) and he says he spent in the vicinty of around $7000 for the engine and the mods to put the engine in this mitsubishi
Ok ill post the first conversation ive had withthis bloke his name is supermikey...i think youll guess which one is me andi apologise in advance for allthe profanitys.
nismo_ec joined the room
nismo_ec: Hello Everyone
nismo_ec: im im really bored
magpie_302: id be bored too driving a nissan
supermikey16_69: NIssans lmao
supermikey16_69: Id never drive a Nissan even if my life depended on it
magpie_302: oh ki own a datsun its my second car
supermikey16_69: never heard of a datsun
supermikey16_69: must be from a different country
magpie_302: Datsun you know the brand name that was superscieded by nissan
supermikey16_69: never heard of em
lukismness: nissan bluebird gl owns u all
magpie_302: nah 240Zs are cool
supermikey16_69: Im Canadian, i dont think we get those cars here
supermikey16_69: I drive my own car
supermikey16_69: hopefully it wont break down by summer
supermikey16_69: again
magpie_302: datsun 240Z best selling sports car in the 70s
supermikey16_69: oooh lol
nismo_ec: lol
nismo_ec: i dont like 240Zs personaly, but alot of people do
magpie_302: i dont like skylines but a lot of people do
supermikey16_69: i hate skylines
supermikey16_69: Drive a Mitsubishi!
magpie_302: i collect crash photos of skylines i have around 30
lukismness: honda prelude
magpie_302: i used to work for a mitsubishi dealer
supermikey16_69: kooo kooo
supermikey16_69: i drive a Mitsubishi
nismo_ec: i drive a (dont wanna say, cos you dont like em)
magpie_302: even more recently i used to work for a bmw dealer
supermikey16_69: okay dont say it then
slicknick64: volkswagon is honestly the most dependable car on the market
lukismness: honda prelude, falcon xr6, toyota supra, mitsubishi gto, nissan 340 zx (or whatever)
supermikey16_69: kooo kooo
magpie_302: **** the prelude and **** volkswagon
supermikey16_69: 0-60 in 3.3 with a heavy ass car, iz pretty damm good
magpie_302: preludes are shit
lukismness: nah dude
lukismness: u r shit
lukismness: but my xr6 is gonna kick ass
magpie_302: no your shit preludes are ****ing gay
supermikey16_69: I dunno
nismo_ec left the room
supermikey16_69: oh well, Ladies, if you like guys with a nice and fast convertable, with fat subs, speak wit me
magpie_302: stuff the subs mate they aint needed
supermikey16_69: **** that
lukismness: stfu fagpie
supermikey16_69: Need ****in Sound
supermikey16_69: ****in tear up tha streets wit tha shit
magpie_302: yeah you dont need subs that vibrate the ****ing car
supermikey16_69: yes you do
supermikey16_69: well thats if you do drugs, have a lotta friends and girls, then yes you do
magpie_302: no you dont not only is it illeagal but a waste of money
supermikey16_69: cuz then your a loner
supermikey16_69: haha stupid bogans
magpie_302: nope im no loner i actually spend money on the engine
supermikey16_69: yeah well my engine is already the biggest it can get
supermikey16_69: ****in V12
magpie_302: all affordable v12s are small
supermikey16_69: oh yeah, by the way, my car iz a 1999 Mitsubishi 3000gt Spyder
supermikey16_69: V12 engine
magpie_302: with a v12?
supermikey16_69: 720 Hp
supermikey16_69: yepp
magpie_302: yea sure i beliveve you
supermikey16_69: You should, cuz i got it installed for me 3 months ago
magpie_302: whatkind of v12?
supermikey16_69: costing me a shitload of ****in money
supermikey16_69: I dont know that kinda shit, i dont pay attention to what kind of shit i got
supermikey16_69: alls i asked the mechanic iz if he could order me a V12
supermikey16_69: he looked at my vehicle
supermikey16_69: he said okay
magpie_302: yeah so in other words you dont ****ing have one and you a poser
supermikey16_69: then like 4 weeks later he called me up
supermikey16_69: brought my car in
magpie_302: is the car engineered?
supermikey16_69: and left it there for a good few days
supermikey16_69: yeppp
supermikey16_69: i watched some of the stuff he was doing
supermikey16_69: he changed some master tube shit
supermikey16_69: and he extrended my car
supermikey16_69: and some wiring
magpie_302: ok then you should have a nice big engineers certificate you should have several copies of and it will state exactly what your car has had done to it
supermikey16_69: so my car iz like Right long now lol
supermikey16_69: I dont care, government took away my car from me already lol
supermikey16_69: got it back tho
magpie_302: so what kind of gearbox you got?
supermikey16_69: wtf iz a gear box
supermikey16_69: Im not a Hardcore nerd dude
supermikey16_69: i just buy the shit
magpie_302: your a dick truely you are
magpie_302: you dont even own a ****ing car do you
supermikey16_69: Dude, were not all hardcore like you are, and your sitting there getting pissed about that
magpie_302: im not getting pissed your the best ****ing laugh ive had all night
supermikey16_69: no wonder why your such a ****in loser
supermikey16_69: LoL cuz i dont know what a gearbox iz
magpie_302: im the looser? your the one whos lieing about your car
supermikey16_69: Dude, you cant even afford a bike so stfu
magpie_302: well if you drive its common knowlage to know how to shift gears there is no car on the market nowdays that I know that is direct drive
supermikey16_69: And yes i do own a car, a better car than you'll ever have
magpie_302: i can afford 2 cars thank you very much 
supermikey16_69: Well Obviously I know how to shift
magpie_302: im sure it is with it imaginary v12 and no gearbox
supermikey16_69: I dont know the names of that shit
magpie_302: keep talking mate im having trouble breathing im laughing so hard
supermikey16_69 left the room

As you can see hes as blunt as a chisel after a year 7 wood work class!

[carlover]

The answer's yes and possibly.
The V12 was used in the Le Mans sportscars and the F1 cars.

I knew guy who raced a 650 in UK and he swapped out the V12 as he couldn't get ANY support, no spare parts and limited life on the running engine.
These things are VERY rare.
IF the guy has it, ask him what he wants for it :)
This is what it sounds like .... http://www.matrasport.dk/Gallery1/Sounds/Misc/m650_mf_pass.mp3
Woah... That sounds AMAZING.

[Matra et Alpine]

Woah... That sounds AMAZING.
And that was from 20 years AFTER they raced at Le Mans.
They're not taken to their max revs any more.
Imagine the sound with an extra 1000 rpm on the top :) :) :)

[Spastik_Roach]

That guy...stupidmikey... What a total gooner . A V12 Gearless Mitsubishi, that makes my idea of a Mini with a Cadillac Sixteen engine and a Bugatti engine and twin Rolls Royce Jet Engines sound real!

Has he even evolved from an ape? He is obviously sub-human.

[carlover]

My sister is probaly the worst driver on earth... You want to know how bad? Let's just say that if she owned a BMW she would fit right in...

[carlover]

The best lines are

supermikey16_69: Id never drive a Nissan even if my life depended on it
magpie_302: oh ki own a datsun its my second car
supermikey16_69: never heard of a datsun
supermikey16_69: must be from a different country
magpie_302: Datsun you know the brand name that was superscieded by nissan
supermikey16_69: never heard of em
and


magpie_302: so what kind of gearbox you got?
supermikey16_69: wtf iz a gear box
supermikey16_69: Im not a Hardcore nerd dude
supermikey16_69: i just buy the shit
magpie_302: your a dick truely you are
Really funny, just goes to show you how stupid some people are. :D

[megotmea7]

i especially like this one...

supermikey16_69: i watched some of the stuff he was doing
supermikey16_69: he changed some master tube shit
supermikey16_69: and he extrended my car
supermikey16_69: and some wiring
lmao "master tube"

[Falcon500]

I probly should of asked him what kind of blinker fluid he was now running with all the performance gear he has on his direct drive mitsubishi :D The funny thing is im a nerd and hes cool because i know stuff about cars and hes clueless...ive talked with him a few times after that and he has changed his story slightly...now it has manual gearbox...he ignored my queastion of how many gears and he was also talking about it breaking down so i asked again? and he said something like "Dude this is the first time it broke down" and my response was "Yeah sure dood i have written proof that you said it broke down before" he left soon after that :D so to top it off hes not even consistant...

[Zambia]

This is a good trick . if you have a stereo with the controlled by the right indicator stick. Have the passenger pretend to higher and lower the volume by saying Volume"UP or Volume Down while you actually higher and lower the volume with the stick.

See what idiot of a passenger tries to do the same thing from the back seat, this works far more times than you would think......sad :confused:

[Gabman]

I was talking to this dude about the Mazda 1.8 V6, and we agree that it is way too small for a V6. He's like; "Yeah, most V6s are 2.7 or 3.1"... 3.1? That's new to me...

Another day he said "I would really like a car with 300hp for one day." I then asked if he meant for one day only, or just some day in his life own a 300hp car. "No, just for one day only." I didn't bother asking why.

When he had seen The Fast and the Furious, he was talking about NOS all the time, except he couldn't help himself pronouncing it NAAAAAAAAAAWWWWSSSS. Also, he though that it was possible to gain 900hp in a Golf (That's 90hp tops org.) only using NOS.

God I hate that fella. :mad:

[KnifeEdge_2K1]

lol 900hp in anything will make it oversteer/understeer *depends on drivetrain* like mad when entering a corner without braking like hell, which would prolly require big ass disk brakes and larger wheels to accomodate them ... all in all the golf gains about a ton/tonne worth of equipment

dont take anything i just said seriously i know it aint possible and even if it was ... who dumb enuff to do it?

newayz, funniest thing i've ever heard was some guy say he switched out his inline 6 with a radial engine with twin turbo's, which is strange considering radial engines are usually used for planes ... and also most radial engines have 4 banks of cylinders ... twin turbo's aint enuff to feed that many banks ...

[v8killer]

I haven't read every single post but I think my story would top everything.

There's a Japanese comic called Initial D about down hill driving. In one chapter the main charater wins a race by turning off his lights at night so his oppoenent couldn't see him and therefore couldn't block him.

A guy tried this on a down hill stretch. Unfortunately his skill wasn't quite up to it and he drove his car right off the hill. Luckily he was ok.

[crisis]

newayz, funniest thing i've ever heard was some guy say he switched out his inline 6 with a radial engine with twin turbo's, which is strange considering radial engines are usually used for planes ... and also most radial engines have 4 banks of cylinders ... twin turbo's aint enuff to feed that many banks ...
You may have topped him. Radial engines are enormous so wouldnt fit in many cars. Maybe on. Radial engines were used in planes and in those Everglades style swamp boats. Im sure someone would have attempted a conversion of sorts and grafted one onto a car at some stage. Its almost too tempting for someone not too have. Not many around these days though. They are at least 8 Cylinders in most cases ( Although the really old ones had five I think )and a maximum of two banks generally. There may have been a 4 bank set up but it would have been an experimental or odd ball aircraft. This peanut was probably talking about a rotary and would most probably have been lying anyway considering his innacurate description.

[Matra et Alpine]

newayz, funniest thing i've ever heard was some guy say he switched out his inline 6 with a radial engine with twin turbo's, ..
I'm guessing he meant rotary.
Even so, the story's still funny for that :)

[eyebrows]

well i know some one thats been in a bmw boxter. i can't really laugh at her for certain reasons but that was pritty funny (can't help stupidity :p )

[doylede]

I've always been amazed by the proclivity of English speakers (especially Americans) to yearn for the CORRECT pronunication of a foreign word where correct is defined as how the word sounds when spoken by native speakers of the particular language.

For Americans, this seems most prevelant with French words. A French speaker, when interviewed in the US, can murder English words with impunity. But, the self-appointed American arbitrators of social graces contort their vocal cords to reproduce the Frog Croaking rendition of French words in an exact manner. Shades of the Sun King.

[henk4]

I've always been amazed by the proclivity of English speakers (especially Americans) to yearn for the CORRECT pronunication of a foreign word where correct is defined as how the word sounds when spoken by native speakers of the particular language.

For Americans, this seems most prevelant with French words. A French speaker, when interviewed in the US, can murder English words with impunity. But, the self-appointed American arbitrators of social graces contort their vocal cords to reproduce the Frog Croaking rendition of French words in an exact manner. Shades of the Sun King.

I thought American or Brits would pronouce Beaujolais as Bee-Jolly, rather than venture into the correct pronounciation Bo-Jo-La (La to be pronounced as Ha in "have"). However I think trying to get pronunciation right is always worth the effort but I can tell you from experience that it's is always to possible to get the nationality of a German, a Dane or a Dutch guy, when he
is speaking English.
Actually my first worry would be why Americans know so little foreign languages at all, apart from Spanish.

(Is this an automotive idiot story??)

[doylede]

Having (perhaps off topic) trashed the French in my last post, I'll now turn to my own USA.

A young, nubile blonde female student (Bambi) at the University of Georgia was dismayed by her receipt of a notice that her GPA of 0.3 had caused her expulsion. Alas, she flunked out!

Sure that she had a solution, she borrowed enough money to secure an apartment in the Atlanta area. Drawing on her middle Georgia farmgirl youth, she set forth to make a living doing odd jobs.

Going "to the money", she cruised her Geo full of tools along West Paces Ferry past the Governor's Mansion. Seeing a nearby residence with it's iron gate open, she drove inside, parked, walked up on the antebellum-style front porch, and rang the bell.

A hand-waving description by the butler of the beauty at the door brought the master of house. Listening to her plea for any odd job available, he said "The maintenance staff has been too busy to paint this porch. All the reguired paint and materials are in the garage. What would you charge to paint the porch?"

Thrilled by her success, Bambi said "I'll do it for $400".

Promising to pay her on completion of the job, the home owner sent Bambi and the butler to the garage to find the paint and start the job, and returned inside where he found his wife.

His wife asked what the young woman was supposed to do here. When told that Bambi would paint the porch for $400, she asked "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"

"What difference does it make? replied her husband, "She'll just have to stay until it's done".

About two hours later Bambi again rang the bell at the front door. The home owner answered the bell and was very surprised. "Surely you are not finished?" he asked.

"Oh yes", Bambi replied, "I'm not only finished. I put on two coats. Oh, and by the way, its not a porch - its a Ferrari".

[henk4]

sounds more like it :D

[drakkie]

it is p0rsje

[KnifeEdge_2K1]

a couple years ago back when i wasnt able to drive my dad and i were just driving home from running some errands. as we pulled up to a stop sign my dad did something unusual ... he actually stopped ...
this turns out to be an extremely lucky incident it seems because just at that instant a car blows by us cutting into the opposite lane for oncoming traffic at about ... 80 kph thats around 45ish mph at a 40kph or 25 ish mph zone. the car grazes the left side of our car and continues, my dad franticly trying to figure out whats going on yells some profanity while i try and get a good look at the dude's license plate. after i wrote down the plate number we called the cops and when I get out of the car for some fresh air i see the car that did a hit and run on us had actually proceeded down the road and ran into a house ... luckily the family was not home at the time and no one was seriously hurt (why do the idiots always live?)

it turns out that the driver (a woman) had just had an anxiety attack and planned on driving herself to the hospital, then she got a stroke and somehow managed to floor the gas and ram us, needless to say she lost her driving privilages for life (wreckless endangerment i think). to top it off she didnt have insurrance !!!!

[crisis]

(why do the idiots always live?)
I often wonder at that. Awanker steals a car , gets involved in a higth speed chase, crashes and the police have to still chase him on foot. Much worse of course when they take some innocnet person out who generally dies and the perp lives.


it turns out that the driver (a woman) had just had an anxiety attack and planned on driving herself to the hospital, then she got a stroke and somehow managed to floor the gas and ram us, needless to say she lost her driving privilages for life (wreckless endangerment i think). to top it off she didnt have insurrance !!!!
Im not sure this woman qualifies as an idiot somehow.

[thinker]

i got a friend who said he could smoke my g35 sedan in his corolla

[civicrider04]

So I was leaving a school function and as i'm leaving the parking lot I notice these two girls getting out of their Nissan Maxima that is very close to a light pole. As I get closer I notice that the car has been in a fight with the pole and definitly lost. The hood looked like a tent, the engine had shifted about 8 inches and the fog lights were lying about 45 feet from the car. She told me she was going about 5 mph even though the airbags had gone off. Her first question to me, "am I going to have to get a new steering wheel?"

[Rockefella]

One time, I was listening to a prank call made by a radio station to some random girl. The guy pretended to be a mechanic who was fixing her car at the time and was charging her for 2 new trannies (telling her that her car needs 2 of them) and a fluid for her headlights. I believe he said that the fluid makes the battery life of the headlights twice as long. He actually charged her 4 times for only 2 headlights too. I thought the call was pretty funny.

[Fowler]

dumbass buys RV.

dumbass puts RV on cruise control and, while driving down the highway, gets out of the driver's seat to fix himself up some coffee.

RV runs off the road and flips onto its side.

dumbass sues the RV's manufacturer for not saying you cant PUT THE BLOODY BASTARD ON CRUISE CONTROL, LEAVE THE DRIVERS SEAT AND LET THE DAMN THING DRIVE ITSELF OFF THE ROAD WITH THE NEXT CURVE IN THE ROAD TO FIX YOURSELF SOME ****ING COFFEE IN THE GOD DAMN MANUAL.

even more mind numbing, the dumbass wins the lawsuit and they pay him 150K+ a brand new rv + they add "cannot leave vehicle unattended to with cruise control on while the vehicle is moving" into the manual.

now thats an automotive idiot story.

[Spastik_Roach]

Shit its stuff like that which seriously makes me get pissed off.Its like suing a lolly company for lollies not being able to be eaten after they have fallen on the ground.

No offence to everyone here, but THE MAJORITY OF AMERICA ARE UNCANNILY IDIOTIC!

Americans are Sueaholics!

[Niko_Fx]

dumbass puts RV on cruise control and, while driving down the highway, gets out of the driver's seat to fix himself up some coffee.

RV runs off the road and flips onto its side.

In my car if you touch the brakes or shift gears the cruise control instantly deactivates for security reasons. Does RV's cruise control work in a different way? Cause if they work the same way he couldn't have get off the RV leaving the cruise control activated.

Anybody know?

[Coventrysucks]

Woman driving a car produced by a well known auto manufacturer in Germany stops to get petrol.

Undoes fuel filler cap, puts it on the roof of the car, put fuel in car, pays, get back in car, drives back onto Autobahn...

Remembers that she left fuel filler cap on roof of car, slams on brakes, causes massive pile up - many people die.

Car manufacturer found responsible for not having a feature that prevents the fuel filler cap from being left on roof.

Sometimes justice has no meaning. :(

[crisis]

No offence to everyone here, but THE MAJORITY OF AMERICA ARE UNCANNILY IDIOTIC!

Americans are Sueaholics!

I hate to sound like a pain in the arse but sites like Supercars.net make me sensitive to comments like this. The US poulation is currently 293,381,909. The world could not sustain that many idiots in one country. Despite the evidence to the contrary I have seen on Supercars.net. I cannot agree with your broad generalisation.

People sue for the money. If the law is that dickless it allows lawyers to win these cases blame the system, not the clever lawyers and the people who are willing to have a go.

[Falcon500]

Car manufacturer found responsible for not having a feature that prevents the fuel filler cap from being left on roof.

Sometimes justice has no meaning. :(some how i dont think this is justice seeing the woman wanst smart enough to possibly realise this would of been the outcome....and also how she didnt seem to realise that driveing off the fuel cap will not stay there...i have done this on one occasion i left it on my rear window luver and as i was driveing off heard a clunk when it hit the ground...i pulled over and looked at mymates "where on a treasure hunt lads! who ever finds my fuel cap gets a bag of chips" we found it in the middle of the road and when traffic cleared i ran over and grabbed it...amazed it wasnt squashed...and happy i didnt have to give out the bag of chips (i found it :)) the only person to blame in this was me! i lapsed for a second and left it on the luver...its not like datsun anticipated me being silly enough to forget it...and they shouldent have to either!

[Coventrysucks]

The issue is not with leaving the fuel cap on the roof, but the actions of the driver: doing an emergency stop on a high speed road is just stupid, and cost the lives of several people, and the car company got blamed for something it could not control - the common sense (or lack of) of the driver. :(

[Falcon500]

The issue is not with leaving the fuel cap on the roof, but the actions of the driver: doing an emergency stop on a high speed road is just stupid, and cost the lives of several people, and the car company got blamed for something it could not control - the common sense (or lack of) of the driver. :(Well thats basically the point i made...it was MY lapse in concetration that caused ME to leave it on the luver...how anybody could do something like that and get away with sueing them is what i view the criminal part....

[Radoman]

*advanced apologies for minor swearing to those with sensitive ears, but I don't censor my posts. In fact, I don't condone or care for censorship in any way. you don't like it, skip my post.

I work with a guy that believes that his buddies 81 GMC with "a brand new 350 in it" will beat a Porsche Carrera GT. even after I told him what a carrera GT is and what it can do. he then told me "it has to slow down for corners, but the truck doesn't". ok, so much for simple physics! yep, even after I talked him down, he was carrying on about how porsche 911's are shit because they have V6's! and that they'd be better with... guess what? "a 350".

and I have met the usual assortment of people that think a cold air filter and NOS stickers will help make their Honda Civic go faster. sad, really.

I was in the theater one evening for the big opening of... some movie, I can't remember any more. anyways, the promo for the 2 FAST 2 FURIOUS came on, and a couple of idiots and their girlfriends were behind me, and they were babbling on about how stupid it was and that it was so unrealistic. at that time, I was quietly agreeing, but then they started babbling on about how those movie cars weren't as good as their friend's prelude, or such and such's nissan of some kind. and how much faster and cooler they were than "all those lame ferrari's and shit".

btw, egg nog, vancouver? I'm in penticton :D

[KOT]

C'mon you guys, I know there's lots of stories out there!

Like the guy who put armor-all'ed the entire surface on his tires on his IS300 and crashed into a tree pulling out of his driveway :)

well... there are alot of idiot stories out there, but as some one said, all other topics prolly have a crap load in em. I can't come up with any right off the top of my head, and not even goin to try, not to kill this topic. :)

[NoOne]

Yesterday I went to fill up the wife's van, and I see a lot of commotion over at another minivan - 4 maybe 5 construction workers, a police officer and a few good samaritans ... all guys, tripping over each other trying to open the door on this (extreme)hottie's van. I watch, chuckling to myself ... stupidity is kind of a kick for me, something I can watch all day as long as it doesn't interfere with whatever else I'm doing.

Anyways, I fill up and walk inside to pay, I'm a regular so I small talk with gas station attendant for a minute or two and I say to her, "what kind of an idiot locks their keys in their car?", before she can reply some guy behind me chimes up with "I've done it more times than I'd care to talk about", of course this leads me to smile and roll my eyes at the attendant who is trying really hard to keep a straight face, and I turn and say to this guy and told him "I don't know how any responsible driver can do that", before he can answer, one of the construction workers walks in and says to the attendant "its OK they unlocked the van and her baby (who was locked inside) are fine".

I brush past the guy that was standing behind me and told him "I'm not even gonna touch responsible parents" ... with that the attendant couldn't hold back anymore and gave one of those surprise snickers - the kind that kids do and milk comes out of their nose.

I get in my car, reach into my pocket for my keys, then realize I had left them in the ignition ... I smile at myself, shake my head and drive away ....thinking how lucky I am that I didn't lock the door. :D

[Falcon500]

ive locked the keys in my car 3 times....all at home when im running around doing chores working on my car and returning from work/mates place twice was while doing several things at once at home and once was because a mate decided to be a smartass...he got a bruise the size of an orange on his arm for his effort...and i got a ciggy...But all in all even doing it on these occasions made feel like a jackass....ive had mates who have had to break into their own cars because of this :rolleyes: ive learned from all of these occasions....

[crisis]

I know someon who spent quite some time trying to open their car to retrieve their keys only to find out that the passenger side was open all the time.

[Egg Nog]

...and i got a ciggy...

You should stop smoking.

[KnifeEdge_2K1]

i was driving down the road today when i saw a red ferrari 360 modena go past me (oncomming lane), i was so hypnotized by the shear fact its my first time seeing a 360 on the road i nearly forgot to stop at the red light :(

[Fowler]

not a car idiot story, but an idiot story none the less.

alot of the time, when the bastards over by the stockyards need to make the cows move to and from holding pens, they twist the tail on them. instead of being nice and easy on them, they go gonzo on the animals, grab em by the tail, and twist it around on em. like dumbasses. rather than being nice and calm about it all.

alot of the time, the tail breaks due to the force used to twist it, which then translates into me losing alot of money on the cow because she's a cripple. :mad:

its not my fault your employees are too abusive on the cattle, asshats. :mad: honestly, people should be fired for that nonsense. but of course, their not.

[Falcon500]

i was driving down the road today when i saw a red ferrari 360 modena go past me (oncomming lane), i was so hypnotized by the shear fact its my first time seeing a 360 on the road i nearly forgot to stop at the red light :(
First time i saw one was a spider modeland all that got out of me was a cruious look and a ohh thats nice...!?!....wonder if he saw the camera? VrrrrrrrWAHHHHHHH obviously not :) first one i saw on the road got its picture taken...unforntutly it was a cop van and not me :p...I still think ferraris sound funny...nothing like a v8 :p

[byronleehk]

linky (http://forums.vwvortex.com/zerothread?id=1389610) :D

[Falcon500]

Idiots on film....

[KnifeEdge_2K1]

linky (http://forums.vwvortex.com/zerothread?id=1389610) :D

AH HAHAHAHA
AH HAHAHAHA
AH HAHAHAHA

i really hope that guy was doing it as a joke cuz if he meant it then ...

AH HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHA *dies of laughter*

[digitalcraft]

Welp, funny stuff ha ha. I'm off to study my car very closely. *blush*

[Karrmann]

a guy on my block did a burnout in his 81 Tbiurd and crashed into a tree, mashing out his grille and busting out a headlight and he twisted up his hood. the whole front end is a mess.

[Blue Supra]

Straight out of college last year and one of my fondest memories was all the crazy antics by the young drivers (including myself) some of which include

- drifting in a small carpark full of cars in the rain and miraculously not hitting anything/one
- seeing the frequent burnouts
- consequently seeing the firetruck arrive to smother the oil put down with sand.
- donuts on the paddock opposite the carpark (especially if it was raining, mud everywhere)
- leaving a pile of mud in carlovers cleaning bay after a good session of donuts in the mud.
- cops doing "random :mad: " inspections of all P plated vehicles
- seeing people blow up/ crash or nearly crash from doing burnouts etc

however my favorite would be when a candy pink 200sx pulled in and everyone was oooing and ahhhing at it and he goes down the side of the school and starts smoking up the tyres not realising that thers a motorcycle cop around where he didnt see, we all yell and wave at the dude in the 200sx "go go go get outta here go!!!" and he hoons off promptly chased by the motorcycle cop (a mate of mine got out of being defected because of this) so we all had the bright idea of joining the chase and jumping in our datsuns VL comodores and Cortinas and went for a gun around the local area trying to find whether the fella had been caught, never found out, but had fun rallying around with the other guys :D

dont know if that an idiot story but it is one the many fond memories of my time at Erindale College...*sigh*

[Blue Supra]

Last night i went out with a mate of mine to the local pool hall, after a few games there these old mates i havent seen in a few months walk in and start sayin how they're earning so much in advertising (a figure so full of BS it doesnt rate mentioning) anyways one of em goes on to say thats hes getting a 2004 Corvette Z06. straight away i smelt crap but continued to listen as if i was actually believing what he said, ill quote as close to reality for you. ill refer to him as BS and myself as ME

BS "yeh man this fellas out a queanbeyans got a black one and its awesome"
ME "yea sounds good mate"
BS "yeh he says it does 0 - 100 kays in 2.1 secs
ME "mmmm sounds quick, how do you get through the gears that quick but?
BS "oh you dont need to. itll go to 160 kays in 1st
ME "oh yeh then whats the top speed on this bad boy"
BS "oh its around 385 kays, sumthing like that,when i get it im gunna race people for slips"
ME "you mean rego papers... (we dont have pink slips in the ACT)
BS "yea whatever,"
ME "so it must have good gear ratios on it to go to 160 in 1st..."
BS "yea man its a 7 speed manual"
ME "oh really? the only 7 speeder ive ever heard of is in formula 1 racers"
BS "yea its 1st 7 speeder in a street car"
ME "so how much are you payin for this thing?"
BS "oh around 200k"
ME "right ok" (this guys only same age as me and is currently driving a 1986 VL commodore executive)
BS "yea ill have the money in the next two months or so"
me "mmmm yea sure"

he then proceeds on to say hoe every1 thinks that american cars are shite but they're really awesome, and that hes gunna win soo many cars by racing for keeps and that he'll win his money back in like a year by winning cars

1. who is seriously dumb enough to race their car for keeps (this isnt a pokemon card game!)
2. 385 kays n hour, i wasnt aware of any road car capable of such insane speed
3. 160 in first.... need i say more???
4. 200,000 dollars australian.... oooook
5. i could be wrong but i dont think any road cars use 7 speed gearboxes?
6. 0 - 100 kays in 2.1??? can formula 1s do that?
7. upon inspection of the chevrolet website i found out that the 2004 z06 has 302 kilowatts (450 horses?) has a 6 speed gb, retails for 45k US ( i dont think it costs 155k to import and convert a car from thr US) has a 0 - 60 miles time of 4.6 secs and gear ratios are no where near what could do 160 in first...

verdict

IDIOT

[KnifeEdge_2K1]

the new m5 has a 7speed semi auto man gearbox so i guess its concievable just not pratical

technically speaking his tranny is 7 speed, 6 speed + reverse right?

[RS6]

I have two complete halfwits to talk about.

This guy I talked to once was a big fan of the new beetle (Why? :confused: ) and he clamed that in standard tune it could outrun an Audi RS6 in a drag race as I told him that it was one of my favourite cars. Idiot!!!

This dumb, dappy bat I used to talk to claimed that her dads BMW M5 cost him 80,000 english pounds and does 0-60 mph in 1.5 seconds. Idiot!!! I then had a chat with her old man and he said that he got the car second hand for 35,000 english pounds and did a 0-60 mph run and struggled to beat 5.5 seconds.

[Karrmann]

lol, the world is full of idiots :D

[KnifeEdge_2K1]

lol, the world is full of idiots :D

specifically rich idiots

money isn't a substitute for intelligence ... well enough of it is :D

[Falcon500]

Well when your richyou dont need too many brains...the brains of thefamily are usually the ones who made it....then later ones who grew up with such luxuary ahhh my dad owns a porsche Nehehehe or muah dad owns a Skylineand it is fully sick......all from personal experiance too......

I have a mate who owns an EA falcon and some of the things about it he says make it hard forme not to snigger....also might i add his family is quite rich....he is a goo bloke but lets just use a simple diagram

HIS MECHANICAL APPTITUDE _
WHERE HE THINKS IT IS *

*












_


ANY QUEASTIONS :) we tried pulling aprat a 180B and we kept getting him to get us beers and rolling us ciggartes to keep him out of the way.....the car never got pulled apart as we where very drunk and we went through a full packet of tobaco!......we just didnt have the heart to tell him he didnt know whathe was doing (sit down and learn something) :(

[IWantAnAudiRS6]

Can we stick to car stories???? Not discussions on how you say Porsche....

[Blue Supra]

ok,

so lately im into the rx7, im askin this bloke about what i can do to it, now normally hes pretty knowledgable but as i found out he knows bugger all about rotaries...

me: so what should i do to the engine?
him: oh id replace it, must be pretty crap if its only a 1.3L

need i say more gentlemen?
:p

[PerfAdv]

Secretary borrows Boss' Audi to pick up client from airport. After dropping of the passenger she thought she'd be nice and gas up the car. While fueling she thought she'd be extra nice and put water in the 'radiator'. The car sputters back to the office and the secretary quietly parks it away. Later, when the boss is leaving he goes to the car and it's hard to start and smoking badly with a erratic idle. He asks his secretary what she did to the car. She explained that she had refueled and added water to the 'radiator', pointing at the oil filler cap.

My mechanic told me this joke, I don't know if it really happened.

[McLareN]

I knew a guy who claimed that the Ferrari factory is in ''Ferrara'', Italy.
What an I-D-I-O-T :D.

[Karrmann]

god do I have a good one. happened last night.

you know that ass in the T bird I described earlier in this thread.
well he was drag racing down the street and he side swiped my Neighbors Cutlass Supreme. it is terrible, the front tire's flat, the bumper was torn off, the driver's side door is beaten to hell, the driver's mirror is hanging off by a wire,the driver side front wondow is shattered. it's terrible. :eek:

I'm never parking my Escort on the street again.

this is the first time I ever felt sorry for those bass loving norodic freaks.

[PerfAdv]

Ford Focus: $18,000
New Tranismission at 500 miles: $1,500
Engine Overhaul at 3,000 miles: $500
Rear Axle replacement: $800
putting steering wheel back on: $100 + $50 labor

Going bankrupt trying to keep the freakin car running: Priceless.


Did you really have to pay...I thought the warranty would take care of it.
My wife had one of the first Focus' and after 5 recall visits to the dealer and once for the auto not shifting out of first at 29K miles before the warranty ran out we traded it.

[Karrmann]

ive never owned a Focus and thanks to this page (http://www.tgrigsby.com/views/ford.htm) I never will, read some of the Focus stories, brakes not working, tail gate popping open when the turn siginal turns on, steering wheel popping off when the car is turning etc..

[Matra et Alpine]

ive never owned a Focus and thanks to this page (http://www.tgrigsby.com/views/ford.htm) I never will, read some of the Focus stories, brakes not working, tail gate popping open when the turn siginal turns on, steering wheel popping off when the car is turning etc..
Karrmann, why do you keep posting this stuff ?

We've gone over this before :(
A few cars will have manufacturing faults, a few cars will not be adequeatly prepared before delivery by the dealer, a few dealers will be unable to properly service the car, a few dealers will not handle customer relationships in a positive manner.

Seems like you're trying to throw lots of mud to try to make the Prius look perfect :)

[PerfAdv]

Over the weekend some not so wise visitor to my apartment complex got his Passat stuck on a speed-bump. I heard some scraping outside....I was parked near the dumpster, so came outside to see it the trash-hauler was mauling my car. No it was a slammed Passat. I slowly walked past... pretending to get something from my car. I really just wanted to see the drama unfold. The Passat was lowered and had ground effects, it was <4" from the ground. The guy had tried to get across at an angle and not couldn't go front of back. When he tried moving all you heard was scraping metal....probably the oversized exhaust. I felt kind of embarassed just sitting there watching this guy in this...tight situation. I walked by with a sympathetic nod. I heard the host guy say, "go ahead just cross it there are fewer bumps out the back way". The complex has many speed bumps and I've never needed to measure their height but I think the guy was screwed. I wanted to tell them to use a plank of wood or something but thought if he is smart enough to have his car sit lower than a F1 car...he's smart enough to figure that out. :D

I know some of you guys reading this are probably quilty of this crime. Why? I once did my springs when I needed to replace some worn shocks with an Eibach/Bilstein package. It only lowered the car about 3/4 or an inch. The guy who sold be the springs was looking at me as if I was passing up on a great oppurtunity, that I could slam my car and wasn't. Is it just crazy Westcoasters or have you seen this in your part of the world as well? :)

[Quiggs]

I think the funniest thing I've ever seen was a funeral procession limo get high-centered on a high-center bridge. Kinda morbid, but funny nonetheless.

[Michelotto]

A while back i was on the motorway when a women who was a few cars ahead of me missed her off ramp and rather than just carrying on to the next one which was only about 1km further on, she pulled over and backed her car up so that she could get off at the right off ramp! meanwhile traffic is zooming past her at 100km/h. sometimes i just don't get what goes through some peoples heads!!!!!!!

[McReis]

A while back i was on the motorway when a women who was a few cars ahead of me missed her off ramp and rather than just carrying on to the next one which was only about 1km further on, she pulled over and backed her car up so that she could get off at the right off ramp! meanwhile traffic is zooming past her at 100km/h. sometimes i just don't get what goes through some peoples heads!!!!!!!



That is kind of an usual thing with portughese drivers! Be affraid!!

[McReis]

This is my astonishingly stupid story.

It ws my first day at University and at lunch a guy sits next to me and starts telling his heroic motoring tales..

I recon this particular episode he told me about, in wich he was driving his old Fiat Uno. He said he lost control, hit the sidewalk with the back wheel and damaged the....back differential!!!!

We are obviously talking about a crapy old Fiat wich is FWD. So there is a delocated diff or a car facing some identitie crisis!!!

[jcp123]

Well, I have more than a few...let's see...

Ah! There was the time I "raced" a brand new Lambo.

It was about a year ago, it was so new, it didn't have tags yet. It was bright yellow, mean lookin son of a gun. Well, I was turning left and he was gonna go straight - but anyway, he pulled up next to me, and as soon as I saw it, I figured I'd have a little fun with the Lambo owner. After all, he kept revving the engine and looking around, seeing if anyone was really impressed with it. Young guy, too, maybe 30 but lookin more like mid 20's. Where he got that kinda moolah, is anybody's guess. Anyhow, I just blew him a kiss and winked, then revved my 302, knwing full well that since I was turning left I wouldnt have to subject myself to the embarrassment of ACTUALLY racing the Lambo. Oh boy was he p1ssed. When the light went green, he took off hard - and I turned left, laughing about as hard as I have in a long, long time. I have to admit I liked the exhaust note on that thing though.

[Turbonutter55]

This is my astonishingly stupid story.

It ws my first day at University and at lunch a guy sits next to me and starts telling his heroic motoring tales..

I recon this particular episode he told me about, in wich he was driving his old Fiat Uno. He said he lost control, hit the sidewalk with the back wheel and damaged the....back differential!!!!

We are obviously talking about a crapy old Fiat wich is FWD. So there is a delocated diff or a car facing some identitie crisis!!!
Are you sure it wasn't a Panda? (4wd).
Anyway...
Germans testing new satnav. GPS out by 100 metres. They drive off a pier which is 100 metres from a bridge.

[KnifeEdge_2K1]

Well, I have more than a few...let's see...

Ah! There was the time I "raced" a brand new Lambo.

It was about a year ago, it was so new, it didn't have tags yet. It was bright yellow, mean lookin son of a gun. Well, I was turning left and he was gonna go straight - but anyway, he pulled up next to me, and as soon as I saw it, I figured I'd have a little fun with the Lambo owner. After all, he kept revving the engine and looking around, seeing if anyone was really impressed with it. Young guy, too, maybe 30 but lookin more like mid 20's. Where he got that kinda moolah, is anybody's guess. Anyhow, I just blew him a kiss and winked, then revved my 302, knwing full well that since I was turning left I wouldnt have to subject myself to the embarrassment of ACTUALLY racing the Lambo. Oh boy was he p1ssed. When the light went green, he took off hard - and I turned left, laughing about as hard as I have in a long, long time. I have to admit I liked the exhaust note on that thing though.

was it a left turn lane? cuz if it was he's really dumb

[jcp123]

I was in the left turn lane, he was in the straight lane right next to me

[PerfAdv]

It just rained here in southern California after a 180+ day dry spell. A guy in an A4 Quattro driving in the left(fast) lane a few cars ahead of me, I guess wanted to test his quattro prowess. He would go over the solid white line into the emergency lane to splash the standing water. Creating huge rooster tails each time, amusing. The last time he got into water too deep for 60+ MPH and started hydroplaning. Maybe it was the quattro system that saved him but the car went almost 90 degrees in both directions and then stabilized, like a pendulum very quickly coming to rest. I sped up to see this guys face after this experience, flushed and white-knuckled, he was now driving in the extreme right of his lane. AWD offers good traction but will not turn you into Niki Lauda.

[IWantAnAudiRS6]

Hows this for prize idiocy... waiting for the light to change on the way to school. It's red. Red means stop. The Porsche 911 (964) Cabrio in front obviously didn't know the meaning of red. He stopped, then started again, taking off very fast. Then a Volvo 760 (the 1980's tank) pulled out of the side turning that had a green light. The Porsche got the worst T-Boning I have ever seen.

[mechanixfetch]

I was over at my girlfriend's house with a few friends. Driving over there I noticed that my sub had stopped working. This happens alot because it is in a box and I havent got around to securing it in the back because I take it out to add cargo space all the time. Generally one or other of the wires pop out and it takes 5 seconds to fix. When I arrive at my girlfriend's house I hop out and open the rear hatch on my GTI and plug the wire back in problem solved. Then I hear my car chirp telling me that it's armed, see I have no alarm pin on my hatch. I reach into my pocket to turn off the alarm so I can retrieve my stuff from the fron of the car and I realise they're not there. "Shit" I think "the keys must be in the car" I open the door to grab my keys which I figure I left on the seat and the alarm goes off. This is one of those nifty alarms that howl and make all sorts of noise and flash the lights and everything. So my alarm starts screaming and my new girlfriend is looking at me like I'm an idiot along with 3 of my friends I start hunting around under my seats and everywhere with the other guy who is with us trying to find these bloody keys. My girlfriend sighs and goes inside with the others leaving me and Dave to find my keys and turn off the alarm which is disturbing the neighbourhood and getting people looking at us like we're trying to steal the stereo or something. Dave and I afer 5 mins of the alarm wailing step back to see if the keys have fallen under the car and Dave mutters "shit you dumbass" he goes and closes the hatch and pulls the keys out of the lock that had been hiden from view above us. Needless to say everyone treated me like an idiot for most of the day.

[Cyco]

One of the kids (~17) at the local bike shop was telling me several weeks ago he could power slide his mother's Camery around the corners on the way to the shop. I commented on my brief experence in driving a Camery that understeer was the order of the day, but if seriously provoked it could possibly snap to oversteer - but I pulled back before then due to me expecting that I would require a change of underwear afterwards. He then proceded to tell me it is perfectly happy to power slide and there was nothing scary about it even at up to 150kph.

The other day he was boasting that he had just purchased a E30 325e, and that this was the best handling car ever, and when he was working on it he had remover the muffler - making it sound like a Spitfire. The sound description is debatable, but when I mentioned that I had been taken out in the CCR the day before and suspected that the handling claim could be a little optimistic it was quickly pointed out that the CCR was never going too be as good as the McLaren F1 and it was overpriced. I took this no further.

[Bob]

back in the sixties my mother managed to wreck her Duster on a curb. I still dont no how that possible going at less than 5 miles and hour. the car was unrepairable had to go to the junk yard

[KnifeEdge_2K1]

One of the kids (~17) at the local bike shop was telling me several weeks ago he could power slide his mother's Camery around the corners on the way to the shop. I commented on my brief experence in driving a Camery that understeer was the order of the day, but if seriously provoked it could possibly snap to oversteer - but I pulled back before then due to me expecting that I would require a change of underwear afterwards. He then proceded to tell me it is perfectly happy to power slide and there was nothing scary about it even at up to 150kph.

The other day he was boasting that he had just purchased a E30 325e, and that this was the best handling car ever, and when he was working on it he had remover the muffler - making it sound like a Spitfire. The sound description is debatable, but when I mentioned that I had been taken out in the CCR the day before and suspected that the handling claim could be a little optimistic it was quickly pointed out that the CCR was never going too be as good as the McLaren F1 and it was overpriced. I took this no further.

how's that stupid? the CCR isnt as good as the mclaren and it is overpriced

oversteer is possible with fwd cars

and removing the muffler on engines do make them sound more muscular

[KnifeEdge_2K1]

back in the sixties my mother managed to wreck her Duster on a curb. I still dont no how that possible going at less than 5 miles and hour. the car was unrepairable had to go to the junk yard

... was this curb beside a cliff?

[Cyco]

KnifeEdge, have you ever driven a Camery? I am not denying a FWD car can oversteer, it is just that in a Camery when I tried (on a very quite country road) to provoke it; The bodies lack of torsional stiffness and the suspension settings conspired to make me feel that the transition from understeer to oversteer would not be progressive and controllable - but that it would snap from one to the other. I am not a good enough driver to be happy in this situation.

As to the Koenigsegg/McLaren and which is better: I have driven neither car, but maybe soon I will have the chance to get behind the wheel of the Swedish entrant in this contest. Till you, I or other UCPer has the chance to drive them back to back and can give a full report - we will have to settle for the reports of others. They at this time point to some minor flaws in the McLaren, and that Koenigsegg had (and took) the opportunity to study the McLaren and the other supercars and from this they aimed to remove all the flaws they found in them when building their own car.

I would not knock back either with the spare cash to buy one, but the need for Koenigsegg to rejig their factory to allow them to increase their production 50% for next year would tend to indicate that not everyone considers the CCR overpriced. How much do you consider it to be worth? What else is on the market that makes it look overpriced?

[onyx8323]

A kid I know from high school put water in the oil of their Honda once. They also asked me what the Carbenator was on it.

[Manik]

one guy in my class thinks hes all that, i think he is that much of a retard. the "class clown"............long story. he thinks the ford mustang badge is ferrari's badge. nobody can convince him. it gave me a good laugh

[Leuthesius]

I have a 1995 Nissan Altima until I finally replace it.

I drove it until the brake shoe fell off. That was a long handbraked ride home.

[Quiggs]

I think this one deserves to be in this thread...

http://forums.vwvortex.com/zerothread?id=1527223

http://gallery.competitiveparts.com/albums/count_blah/nicole_198.jpg
Yes, that's an oil pan. No, that isn't motor oil.

[Leuthesius]

I was about to say... That sure as hell wasn't a frakking radiator.. o_O

[ZeTurbo]

I think this one deserves to be in this thread...

http://forums.vwvortex.com/zerothread?id=1527223

Yes, that's an oil pan. No, that isn't motor oil.
is that... washer fluid??? :confused: OMG

[Karrmann]

that's coolent, but it was put in the wrong spot........ :rolleyes:

[durty starlet]

ok, i think i will add my own little story here.

just finished loading up my little hatchback full of my mates computer gear. close the boot. didnt check to make sure it was closed properly. found out it wasnt when i got to 100kms on the motorway and the hatchback popped open. started fishtailing quite badly. pull over check the boot and its half empty :mad:

[Matra et Alpine]

Kid walks into the McLaren factory and steals all the new paint they've just taken delivery of and only leaves the black and the silver.

:) i thought it was mildly amusing :)

[carlover]

Kid walks into the McLaren factory and steals all the new paint they've just taken delivery of and only leaves the black and the silver.

:) i thought it was mildly amusing :)
If you walk into a Mclaren factory planning to steal something... STEAL THE CAR!!! What an idiot. :)

[Matra et Alpine]

If you walk into a Mclaren factory planning to steal something... STEAL THE CAR!!! What an idiot. :)
DAMN, Was British sarcasm wasted again ? Methinks so.
Sorry carlover, you need to read "John"s thread on the SLR colors ( or I'm just slow at realisng you HAD and DID get the j/k :) )

[deffenbaugh03]

I was just at a car show recently in Pittsburgh and i was snapping some pictures of the Chrysler ME 4-12 because wow it's beautiful, anyways, this guy probably in his mid 20's or so comes up and looks at the car and says to his friend, about the same age, "hey check out that new viper, i can't wait till they sell this thing". I couldn't help laughing.

Also this doesnt really have anything to do with cars but at that same autoshow i was standing next to my friend who was taking a picture of some car, and he doesnt have a normal camera for taking pictures he was has a digital camcorder which can still take stillshots but anyway there's this girl standing next to us looking at my friend with a weird look and then i hear her say to her friend "what an idiot, is he expecting it to move or something".

Third story- ok same auto show (wow didn't realize how many stupid people you can find at autoshows) i'm sitting in the brand new chevy cobalt ss checking out the interior and i hear a guy next to me looking at the cobalt say to his friend "looks like an impreza" yea maybe from 100,000 miles away

[carlover]

Americans are Sueaholics!
I'm gonna have to agree with you on that. Here (http://www.power-of-attorneys.com/StupidLawsuit.htm) is a site with a huge list of them on it. When all else fails, sue the bastards! :rolleyes:

[ZeTurbo]

Kid walks into the McLaren factory and steals all the new paint they've just taken delivery of and only leaves the black and the silver.

:) i thought it was mildly amusing :)
that was a good one. that kid sure was stubborn.

that reply about the pitsburg autoshow reminded me of a funny story.

i was at the montreal international auto show last month, there was this guy's (Lawrence stroll, owner of mont tremblant circuit) ferrari collection. i was looking at his 612 and one guy (italian) next to me starts saying:
"look at that new enzo, its suposed to be even faster than the first enzo, its going to be the fastest car in the world" , i turned to my brother and we just laughed so hard... :rolleyes:

freakin moron

[emperor]

I heard a story about a woman, she was driving in her car (some peugeot) and suddenly the car started making "funny noises" (according to her) then stoped. So she called for road service, they came about 1 hour later. So she tells the story to the mechanic and says "It is probably a gearbox". They took her car back to the garage, fixed "the problem" and told her it was in fact gearbox and she has to pay about 1200 PLN = 300 Euro. Guess what was the real problem with her car? (I will tell you but try and guess, it will add to the comedy) :)

[Matra et Alpine]

Fuel ?
Cat rapped round the radiator fan ?? :)

[emperor]

Was it that obvious? Ok it was the fuel. 300 euro for lets say 30 litres of petrol, god damn this gas is expensive :))

[Manik]

I have another Automotive Idiot story, well actually you can't really call this guy an idiot but hey his comment was pretty dumb.......

At the Edmonton Auto Show I was admiring the Ford GT, this guys behinds me asks "excuse me, do you know where the engine is located in this car?" I answered with a laugh "the rear". I guess he felt embarassed because right after that he shuffled away. It was a pretty funny moment! :D:D:D

[Blue Supra]

ive never seen a ford GT. i wouldnt know wither but i wouldve guessed the front.

[aNOBLEman]

I have another Automotive Idiot story, well actually you can't really call this guy an idiot but hey his comment was pretty dumb.......

At the Edmonton Auto Show I was admiring the Ford GT, this guys behinds me asks "excuse me, do you know where the engine is located in this car?" I answered with a laugh "the rear". I guess he felt embarassed because right after that he shuffled away. It was a pretty funny moment! :D:D:D

You should've given him a big technical answer like: The supercharged 5.4 liter V-8 is mounted transversely in the mid-engine position. Then see how embarassed he felt. :D lol

[Manik]

I have a feeling he wouldn't know what to say........but he would probably ask me again."where is it located, didn't catch that"

lol :):):):):)

[asian_warrior01]

my neighbour has a toyota cellica or seca not to sure but h as gone and spent $27k into new engine and turbo work into and bodykit and new paint job. he reckons he the mechanic got 375kw @fw and that not fully tune yet (the ecu hasn't been programed properly yet i think) newaz he said the car blew out its front tyres on the dyno i think he talking alot of BS cause i don't think the dyno puts that much pressure on your tyres, does anyone know if thats possible cause he one of those guys who thinks he better then everyone else and only his car is capable of doing that. sorry i can give you more details about the car cause thats all i know

[crisis]

my neighbour has a toyota cellica or seca not to sure but h as gone and spent $27k into new engine and turbo work into and bodykit and new paint job. he reckons he the mechanic got 375kw @fw and that not fully tune yet (the ecu hasn't been programed properly yet i think) newaz he said the car blew out its front tyres on the dyno i think he talking alot of BS cause i don't think the dyno puts that much pressure on your tyres, does anyone know if thats possible cause he one of those guys who thinks he better then everyone else and only his car is capable of doing that. sorry i can give you more details about the car cause thats all i know
Sounds like a tosser. You picked him in one.

[targa]

i was driving the other day, i didnt know the road that well, so i was only going five miles over the speed limit. this idiot in a later model dodge daytona decides he wants to pass me, normally i would let them, but this time i just started laughing. they got all the way up beside and the passengers kept looking over at me with this confused look on their faces. they were trying to figure what i was laughing at. then the driver looked up and saw there was a car like 50 maters in front of them. dumbass didnt look before he went to pass. he slammed on the brakes and got back in the lane after i was out of the way. the driver must have been embarresed because he kept speeding up and tailgating me, swerving back and forth. finally i got tired of it so i floored it and got up to like 90mph before i backed off, they sped up and cought up with me. i slowed it back down, waited until i had room behind me, slammed on my brakes and made a sharp left. they got on their brakes and swerved a little. they kept going straight, revving the heart out of that little daytona

made me smile, i like when people make asses out of themselves, makes me feel sane

[KnifeEdge_2K1]

i was driving the other day, i didnt know the road that well, so i was only going five miles over the speed limit. this idiot in a later model dodge daytona decides he wants to pass me, normally i would let them, but this time i just started laughing. they got all the way up beside and the passengers kept looking over at me with this confused look on their faces. they were trying to figure what i was laughing at. then the driver looked up and saw there was a car like 50 maters in front of them. dumbass didnt look before he went to pass. he slammed on the brakes and got back in the lane after i was out of the way. the driver must have been embarresed because he kept speeding up and tailgating me, swerving back and forth. finally i got tired of it so i floored it and got up to like 90mph before i backed off, they sped up and cought up with me. i slowed it back down, waited until i had room behind me, slammed on my brakes and made a sharp left. they got on their brakes and swerved a little. they kept going straight, revving the heart out of that little daytona

made me smile, i like when people make asses out of themselves, makes me feel sane

sounds like ur being the ass here not him

i hate people who dont let others overtake, ****ing dumbasses, either let us pass or go slower

[F1_Master]

I was at the Dallas Auto Show last year, I'm not surprised what idiots teens are these days. Too much ricer in them.
I may be 17 (18 German time), but these guys the same age are morons.

I'm checking out this amazing changing color Panoz GTR-1 road car. The guy goes up with his buddy, and says, "Woah! What is that?" His buddy must be a person who think he knows it all. He says is, "It must be an old Porsche model." Buddy goes, "How do you know?" "Well, (He starts acting smart) its here in the Porsche section right? Its a Porsche GTR-1 powered by a 5.3 liter V10 at 6400RPM." Buddy goes "Wow, you know a lot."
"Yep!"


Moron. Some guys actually asked me if he was right, and I told him, "Of course not. He didn't get the manufacturer even right. Its a Panoz."

[targa]

sounds like ur being the ass here not him

i hate people who dont let others overtake, ****ing dumbasses, either let us pass or go sloweroh, so i am sapposed to slow down because someone else is in a hurry. its not like i sped up, i was speeding, them wanting to go faster is not my problem. i dont get mad and pass if someone is driving too slow, i slow down. their not looking ahead to see that there was not enough room to pass is not my problem either. i dont have a problem in being passed, but i am not going to slow down to let someone, its not my fault they are late, or they just want to drive faster.

[crisis]

Less agression guys. Its easy to get pissed off but it can end in tears. These days you can get shot or bashed for not much. One orad I take each mornng has twoo lanes each way divided by a median strip. The speed limit is 60kmh (was70, was80). The latest unneeded tampering with our road rules means that on roads posted 60kmh you can travel in either left or right lanes. Most of the time on this road there is enough traffic that you can find yourself in the right hand lane for quite a while and while legal, courtesy dictates you keep left to let others less patient pass. Well this morning I was hanging out in the right lane as the driver next to me was unwilling to let me completely pass and I was unwilling to go any faster. I could see a PT Cruiser coming behind me (hates those dont we precious) and I new what was going to happen. There are a group of drivers that hunt right lane drivers. I fhtey see you there they must get behind you and tail gate you no matter what speed they had originally intended to travel at. This was one. Generally they will be females to 40/50 or younger guys (sorry gents).
Anyway she is up my ass trying to push me along. Numb nuts next to me get momentarily held up by someone entering in front of him allowing me the chance to get back in the left (by the way we drive on the left here). I wont say I rushed back, perhaps being a little belligerent to tailgate Sally, but when there was enough room I indicated. This coincided with the baitch decided to make a run for it and changing lanes to pass me on the inside. Must have had something important on. Anyway I continued my move and she had to dodge back onto the right and proceed to let it have it. Which in the case of a PT Cruiser is not exactly awe inspiring. This type of thing goes on most days.
Being on the road as a rep mellows you a bit as you realise all this angst about getting nowhere fast is a waste of blood pressure. Sure people piss me off but you cant afford to take em all on all the time.

[johnnynumfiv]

oh, so i am sapposed to slow down because someone else is in a hurry. its not like i sped up, i was speeding, them wanting to go faster is not my problem. i dont get mad and pass if someone is driving too slow, i slow down. their not looking ahead to see that there was not enough room to pass is not my problem either. i dont have a problem in being passed, but i am not going to slow down to let someone, its not my fault they are late, or they just want to drive faster.

Yes, you are supposed to slow down a little if someone is trying to pass you, my mom got a ticket for not letting someone pass, she stayed a constant speed and the person couldn't get by her so the cop pulled both cars over, and gave my mom a ticket, the guy got a warning for speeding.

[Karrmann]

If you walk into a Mclaren factory planning to steal something... STEAL THE CAR!!! What an idiot. :)

maybe the kid was a ricer, hey a McLaren paintjob adds 100 HP :p

[targa]

Yes, you are supposed to slow down a little if someone is trying to pass you, my mom got a ticket for not letting someone pass, she stayed a constant speed and the person couldn't get by her so the cop pulled both cars over, and gave my mom a ticket, the guy got a warning for speeding. well, regardless, i am still not going to slow down. not my choice for them to pass me, its their decision, their consequences to own. there are rules for the passing driver, you have to pay attention, they didnt. it was their fault they didnt see the car before, not mine.

i will not say i was completely right in this situation though. the things i did afterward may have been a bit immature, but they're done, i cant change them now.

my best friends dad is a trooper here in VA, im going to play paintball at his house next week, so i will check it with him bout the slowing down and what not


a McLaren paint job adds 100 HP thats funny

[carlover]

DAMN, Was British sarcasm wasted again ? Methinks so.
Sorry carlover, you need to read "John"s thread on the SLR colors ( or I'm just slow at realisng you HAD and DID get the j/k :) )
I did... and know I bow down to coventry because he has, "insider info." on the colors of the SLR. :D What a thread... ;)

[KnifeEdge_2K1]

oh, so i am sapposed to slow down because someone else is in a hurry. its not like i sped up, i was speeding, them wanting to go faster is not my problem. i dont get mad and pass if someone is driving too slow, i slow down. their not looking ahead to see that there was not enough room to pass is not my problem either. i dont have a problem in being passed, but i am not going to slow down to let someone, its not my fault they are late, or they just want to drive faster.

from what u said b4 it sounded like u were deliberately speeding up so they couldnt remerge into the lane, and you quote "sped up to 90mph" braked and did a sharp left, thats reckless endangerment and probably disturbing the peace if u hit 90mph, you saw the oncoming car and made no effort to warn a fellow driver

[carlover]

When I was younger I used to think that removing the companys emblem from your car was illegal because of indentification puproses. :rolleyes: :)

And once along time ago I thought that there was a peace sign on back of a car but it just turned out to be a mercedes. :)

Man was I stupid back then... (*prepares for barage of, "you still are"*) ;)

[Manik]

And once along time ago I thought that there was a peace sign on back of a car but it just turned out to be a mercedes. :)

Some hippies still do put peace signs on the back of their cars. ;) :p

[henk4]

Some hippies still do put peace signs on the back of their cars. ;) :p

Like all those who are driving the venerable first generation Ford and Lotus Cortina's

[AstonMartinV12]

i remember this video i watched this guy walked up to a dude with a riced out mustang and goes i bet that thing has 600 hp and he goes yep and then he says does that thing have the rotary engine and the guy with the stang goes yea it does

[Quiggs]

http://forums.vwvortex.com/zerothread?id=1914337&page=1

This guy decided to paint his taillights while they were still on the car. Just so you know, it takes about 5 minutes to take out the tail lamps on a Golf... It's 3 bolts on each side.

[MrBikerMan]

I want all left lane drivers to die. Im not talking about people who slowly (very slowly by the way) pass others, but people who will sit in the left lane when noone else is in the right lane for miles. Here in Colorado, its extremely common to find people stupid enough that when you pass them they get back in the left lane, even though nobody at all was in the right lane in front of them. Why on earth why why why why would someone be so damn stupid. I'd like for them to drive in germany for day and get ticket up the ass for a thousand dollars for sitting in the left lane. Maybe theyd even cause a horrible accident (porche from behind having to swerve and all that) and kill themselves.

[Matra et Alpine]

Just not in the UK, Japan, India, Australia and a numebr of other countries PLEASE :)

[MrBikerMan]

The U.S. is very wrong in many ways. Still love it though (at least when bush isnt making any decisions)

[targa]

i guess this would count as an automotive idiot story...

my friend hurt his leg a few days ago playing soccer, so i have been driving him around for a few days, in his car, which is a manual

today i get back into my car, which is an automatic, and as i approached the first stop sign, i felt a tugging on my right arm

i knew i wasnt still driving teh manual cause i didnt slam my foot into the stomp, but the entire day i have fealt the need to shift

~ kinda odd i thought

[Niko_Fx]

Happens to me every time I drive an automatic, I keep looking for the clutch and feel the need to shift.

[Quiggs]

Yep, sounds about right.

[byronleehk]

Happens to me every time I drive an automatic, I keep looking for the clutch and feel the need to shift.

Same here :rolleyes:

Whenever I'm in the wife's car I automatically stamp my left foot on the phantom clutch before starting the car :p

[Matra et Alpine]

automatically stamp my left foot on the phantom clutch before starting the car :p
Did worse in about the second ever auto I'd driven.
Spent 4 hours on the freeway, off-ramp up to a junction and in mental-auto mode I pushed the clutch in to change down gear.
However *I* pressed the big pedal.
Stopped the car on it's nose, luckily no one was following :)

[fa22_raptor]

Did worse in about the second ever auto I'd driven.
Spent 4 hours on the freeway, off-ramp up to a junction and in mental-auto mode I pushed the clutch in to change down gear.
However *I* pressed the big pedal.
Stopped the car on it's nose, luckily no one was following :)

But but... your left foot's not meant to press the brake pedal even in a manual? Shouldn't you have just been pressing on the footrest?

[SilverG35SportC]

Heres a funny story that happended to me about 3 days ago. I was driving to the rowing club near my house around 5:30am becasue i do rowing in the morning and my mom pulled onto an on ramp. We were turning fine when all of a sudden the 18 wheeler in front of us slows right down on the last part of the ramp. He stops we are wondering why becasue there didnt seem to be an apparent problem. I looked to the right side of the car and saw a hitchhiker walking towards the truck. hahahhaa. Who stops and 18 wheeler on an on-ramp and 5:30 in the morning to pick up a hitchhiker. It may not be the best automotive story but I just thought it to be ridiculous.

[h00t_h00t]

But but... your left foot's not meant to press the brake pedal even in a manual? Shouldn't you have just been pressing on the footrest?

It is in a right hand drive car.

[my porsche]

ok, fa22...
right foot = accelerator & brake
left foot = dead pedal and clutch

hehe, dad used to race porsches, i picked up a thing or two ;)

[KnifeEdge_2K1]

brake pedal on autos are much wider and will cover the are of where the clutch should be if it were a manual, its a common mistake to step on it

[targa]

brake pedal on autos are much wider and will cover the are of where the clutch should be if it were a manual, its a common mistake to step on itmy friend told me about one time that he did it and almost got rearended on the highway....scary

i often kill the stomp after driving a manual

[fa22_raptor]

ok, fa22...
right foot = accelerator & brake
left foot = dead pedal and clutch

hehe, dad used to race porsches, i picked up a thing or two ;)
Hahahahaha... yes, thanks for that. I'm not stupid or anything and yes, I can drive and yes, it's a manual. Maybe my wording wasn't great or something, because I understand that your left foot isn't meant to use the brake pedal. Even in an automatic car, despite the brake pedal being significantly bigger than that of a manual, it feels awkward and unnatural to use the brake with your left foot hence my initial surprise that Matra did. :) Whatever the case, it would really suck to press the brake accidently on an auto out of habit :).

Oh, and by the way h00t, in right hand drive cars, everything's the same as in a left hand drive car except the side the stick is on.

[Falcon500]

do you prehaps mean the stearing wheel...

I have the really bad habit of left foot breaking in automatics on the rare occasions i drive them....guess it keeps my left foot from doing nothing :)

[KnifeEdge_2K1]

if you mean braking with your left foot it's ok, not recomended but alot of things arnt

if you mean the technique left foot braking as in turning into a corner, floor the gas and feather the brakes the kick out the rear end then yes thats a bad habit :D

[Falcon500]

Ive had a go of that when i still had the sunny which had a few intresting results.....few whisps of smoke and a screach that got a chear out of a car full of girls that i passed lol

Yeah i can see why its just a strange habit i have.....i drive a manual a bit more normally useing my left foot for the clutch only and my right for throttle/break but in auto i have both feet at it :)

[Blue Supra]

that happened to me in the worst possible way.

right foot goes on the brake and left on the clutch in my car ok...

mums magna... automatic V6... left foot on the clutch... right foot on the brake...
wait! its an auto... in reverse... OH SH1t!!!!

left foot on brake, right on accelerator. shoots backwards across carpark and snaps cars behind me...:eek:

bad day that was....:(

[Deutscher Adler]

Here is a story for you guys. I knew this kid who had a mazda miata. He had just finished putting all kinds of APC stuff and claimed that he was pushing insane amounts of Horsepower. So I told him that I would be able to really see this gain in power if I drove the car.

So we got in and drove in this large parking lot of a shoping center. Well it was late at night and all the customer cars had left. The thing was that the lot was not a flat one it was a uneven and hilly. The kid and I picked up speed and were doing about 90km/h or 60 mph in the lot when we hit this uneven section and actually got airborne. A few friends were watching from a distance as we beat the hell out of this miata and said that we actually lifted about 2 feet off the ground. As we came back down with a bang, all his gauges flew out of their mounting pods, the muffler fell off and I think the header broke because it got terribly loud. I turned to him and said I notice a little increase in power but not much. We should try it again and see if it is really that fast. The kid looked at me half shocked from the whole impact and then fell silent for a split second after which he agreed to it!!!! :eek:

He insisted that the car has to be pushing 300hp with all his modifications. Well we did it again!!!!! We hit the same spot but with more speed this time and got Airborne!!!! :D Upon landing Part of the door on the outside fell off because of rust on the inside of the door and the car pulled hard to the right. Upon which his APC roll bar broke a few bolts and got looose!!!!

He said did you feel the increase power?!?! I just turned to him and laughed the hardest I have laughed in a long long time!

IT GETS BETTER!!!!!!

I got out of the car in front of the mates and he jumps in the driver seat and is determined to show us the power! HE THEN WENT TO PROVE TO US THAT HE HAD THE POWER BECAUSE OF HIS APC ADD-ONS. Launched his car several times and got airborne half of the time till the damn car gave up and died. He then left the car and came over to us from the other side of the lot his car which was about 10 meters from us in the middle of the lot, was smoking. He goes, I guess I was wrong, eh? :rolleyes:

[h00t_h00t]

You tried to destroy his car just because you didn't think he had modified it much?

[6'bore]

Here is a story for you guys. I knew this kid who had a mazda miata. He had just finished putting all kinds of APC stuff and claimed that he was pushing insane amounts of Horsepower. So I told him that I would be able to really see this gain in power if I drove the car.

So we got in and drove in this large parking lot of a shoping center. Well it was late at night and all the customer cars had left. The thing was that the lot was not a flat one it was a uneven and hilly. The kid and I picked up speed and were doing about 90km/h or 60 mph in the lot when we hit this uneven section and actually got airborne. A few friends were watching from a distance as we beat the hell out of this miata and said that we actually lifted about 2 feet off the ground. As we came back down with a bang, all his gauges flew out of their mounting pods, the muffler fell off and I think the header broke because it got terribly loud. I turned to him and said I notice a little increase in power but not much. We should try it again and see if it is really that fast. The kid looked at me half shocked from the whole impact and then fell silent for a split second after which he agreed to it!!!! :eek:

He insisted that the car has to be pushing 300hp with all his modifications. Well we did it again!!!!! We hit the same spot but with more speed this time and got Airborne!!!! :D Upon landing Part of the door on the outside fell off because of rust on the inside of the door and the car pulled hard to the right. Upon which his APC roll bar broke a few bolts and got looose!!!!

He said did you feel the increase power?!?! I just turned to him and laughed the hardest I have laughed in a long long time!

IT GETS BETTER!!!!!!

I got out of the car in front of the mates and he jumps in the driver seat and is determined to show us the power! HE THEN WENT TO PROVE TO US THAT HE HAD THE POWER BECAUSE OF HIS APC ADD-ONS. Launched his car several times and got airborne half of the time till the damn car gave up and died. He then left the car and came over to us from the other side of the lot his car which was about 10 meters from us in the middle of the lot, was smoking. He goes, I guess I was wrong, eh? :rolleyes:

LMFAO :p :p :p :p :p :p :p

[sunk]

I may never have never pronounced Lamborghini properly, I have been told by a friend that in the Italian language all "g" 's are silent, so as he pronounced it, it was like Lam-bor-hee-nee, he might be right, but I gave him that WTF look anyways. :D

So you are trying to say that Ferrari is pronounced as Fu-ari or Alfa Romeo is pronounced as Alfa-omeo

[fa22_raptor]

Huh? Since when did "Ferrari" or "Alfa Romeo" contain a 'g'? :eek:

[McReis]

Lamborghini in Italian is spelled with the "G".

[Zondaboy1]

There was this crash a while ago in california 997 911 GT2 and the guy had it for 20 min. literly. He got drunk and bought the car and was speeding 1 handed on the highway (bottle of tequila in the other hand) and rolled the car over the guard rail and 1/4 mi away from the highway. resquers found hi upide down laughing what a fool lol

[NoOne]

I have the really bad habit of left foot breaking in automatics on the rare occasions i drive them....guess it keeps my left foot from doing nothing :)

I'm with you, tho I don't brake with my left foot just to keep it busy, I feel I'm more in control. My wife tries to tell me (they know everything right? ;) ) that driving with both feet could cause you to depress them both at the same time, to which I say BS, I have been walking for the better part of 35 yrs and I am capable of putting one foot down while lifting the other. :D

[NoOne]

Lamborghini in Italian is spelled with the "G".
Spelled but is it pronounced?, my understanding is that it is a silent letter ... at least in some cases.

Any members with Italian as a first language care to clear this up? :confused:

[KnifeEdge_2K1]

someone with a kia econobox (forgot the name and i dont really want to look it up) parking at the nearby mcdonalds ran into a post, i was parked beside him at the time with my friend when we just hear the distinct sound of a cheap plastic bumper cracking in half

[woodstock827]

1) AWD cars brake in shorter distance

2) my next door neighbor once tried to fill engine oil in his old Volvo coz he thought there was a leak... He ended up filling it into the power steering... -_-"

3) SUVs avoid accidents better...

[woodstock827]

o.. and i used to think that the SLK comes in two models, hard-top and convertible... it took like a year before i realised it's the same car....

[P4g4nite]

I was one the phone to my grandma' and she knows i am kinda into cars and she tells me that I should always keep my car polished and clean... not to make it look good or keep the paint in condition mind you, no.
To lower the friction coefficient and improve fuel economy.

After I finished laughing, I told her that I drive an E28 and that not even a teflon coating would improve my aero worth a damn.

[Matra et Alpine]

I was one the phone to my grandma' and she knows i am kinda into cars and she tells me that I should always keep my car polished and clean... not to make it look good or keep the paint in condition mind you, no.
To lower the friction coefficient and improve fuel economy.

After I finished laughing, I told her that I drive an E28 and that not even a teflon coating would improve my aero worth a damn.
Well as the saying goes "dont teach your grandmother to suck eggs"

She's 100% CORRECT.

WHY do you think race cars and bikes are polished prior to racing ?

It may not make a LOT of difference, but it does :)
Time to go apologise to granny :D

[crisis]

Muddy road + rain + rear wheel drive + dodgy back tyres + idiot =

[2ndclasscitizen]

i think it might be worth a bit less than the dealer told you now

[IBrake4Rainbows]

Oh Dear.

One Careful Owner.....:p

[P4g4nite]

She's 100% CORRECT.
Oh sure, I know that.
While we're at it, lets also:

Fold back our mirrors
Put the car in neutral when driving downhill
Keep the antenna down at all times, and the windows up.
Strip the carpet out of the car.
ETC..

It may not make a LOT of difference, but it does
Time to go apologise to granny
I stand by my statement.

Not even a teflon coating would help my aero worth a damn, it's an E28.

[P4g4nite]

This is not so much an idiot, just funny.. to me..

http://www.dtmpower.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1518061#post1518061

[nota]

Oh sure, I know that.
While we're at it, lets also:

Fold back our mirrors
Put the car in neutral when driving downhill
Keep the antenna down at all times, and the windows up.
Strip the carpet out of the car.
ETC..

I stand by my statement.

Not even a teflon coating would help my aero worth a damn, it's an E28.
Put my vote of support with granny and Matra !! :D

IIRC the old Chequered Flag race-magazine once reported that a dilligent wax & polish - by itself & with no other mods - added an immediate & not inconsiderable 6mph onto the top speed of a stock Datsun 1200 coupe on Bathurst's long Conrod Straight during pre-race practice in the early 1970s, according to driver/author James Laing-Peach who btw later became editor of Wheels magazine

[rev440]

This is all i can think of right now but this kid at school is stupid. He was like yeah my uncle has an all orignal 428 shelby cobra! I was like um they only made 427 and 289 FIA cars. After that he said his freind has the rarest car in the world. It was supossodly some 1939 lemans car that theres 5 of. I said hell theres only 1 1969 Camero SS convertable. Then he said his mazada could smoke my mustang mach1. My mach1 has 420 horse. Cams headers the blocks ported and exhaust. Most of the work was done by my dad but the block was ported by shawn highland moter sports. The cars tuned by pauls high preformance.

[scottie300z]

I was test driving a brand new spec v a year or so ago. They let me have it for 24 hrs since my dad doesnt like coming in and talking to dealers and this way he could see the car and stuff. Well anyways i take it over to a friends house and he has a saab 900 turbo. His neighbor is also a friend and he has a rsx. so we all decide to see what the spec v can do on the highway, so we go out and race awhile (spec V came in last everytime by the way) We were out of city limits when my friends rsx runs out of gas. So i go to the nearest little town by a plastic gas container and put a few bucks of gas in it. Now i dont know why i did this, but i put it in the trunk instead of just the passenger floorboard. Well when i get back i open up the trunk and the container is leaking gas all over the trunk. Apparently it had a hole in it and the sloshing around and stuff allowed the gas to come out of it. The trunk was soaked, so i go back get a refund, and try my hardest to get the smell out, of course it didnt really help or anything. Long story short i didnt buy it, brought it back said not intrested after all and left. I felt bad to screw up the car like that, but i didnt really see that i could have done too much to prevent it, maybe not have put it in the trunk, but its not like i really could have forseen the product being faulty and having a hole.

[P4g4nite]

Put my vote of support with granny and Matra !!
A POX ON POLISHING!!! A POX I SAY!!

But seriously this is the car, as you can see it is a brick.