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Thread: The UCP member "automotive heaven/hell" game.

  1. #1
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    The UCP member "automotive heaven/hell" game.

    Had an interesting idea tonight while conversing with my girlfriend about what contributes to a persons automotive style and prefrences. Obviously visually their taste is taken into account, but so too do their pre-formed oppinions on a brand (american must be crap)..

    So I thought about it and it occured it might be amusing to constitute a little game of "guess a members automotive heaven/hell game"

    It goes something a little like this -

    For example -

    Clutches automotive heaven would be a car that defines the way he looks at life (twisted and perverse with just a hint of compassion).

    Knowing him as we all do, We can deduce a number of things, all of which lead me to thinking of a quintessential "clutch" car.

    Of what I would describe as a 935 flat nose porsche with a track biased (cage + semi slicks + Lightened) setup. most likely flat (not matte) black paintjob with bronze rims that fill the guards and giving the car the menacing stance that looks oh so fitting for a psychopath.

    On the flip side is what could be described as his automotive 'hell'..
    I thought the antithisis of the above would be something like an AMC pacer (of is it the AMC gremlin?) - However it occured to me that he'd still be able to twist the quirky vibe of the car to be able to pick up / garner attention (because deep down he likes abit of the spotlight at meetups).

    So I decided that Clutch's automotive hell would be something that A) Cant be tracked. B) would never allow him to pick up C) Crush his soul at the thought of driving it.

    The result - the hell-car.. A Toyota Camry, In gold. With tissue box on the rear window.
    Weekly Quote -

    Dick

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by whiteballz View Post
    The result - the hell-car.. A Toyota Camry, In gold. With tissue box on the rear window.
    FFUUUU-
    spot on. the 935 would be blue though.

    Ferrer:
    automotive hell: forced to drive a 4cyl, FWD, automatic/tiptronic audi TT convertible. first generation. converted to diesel.

    automotive heaven: some sort of no frills car, either a fire cracker of a hot hatch (JCW mini) or traditional and RWD... E30 M3?
    Andreas Preuninger, Manager of Porsche High Performance Cars: "Grandmas can use paddles. They aren't challenging."

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by clutch-monkey View Post
    FFUUUU-
    automotive heaven: some sort of no frills car, either a fire cracker of a hot hatch (JCW mini) or traditional and RWD... E30 M3?
    Saw 2 of those today, red and black. Black was genuine and yet driven by a P plater. Bastard.

  4. #4
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    Hmm.. Ballz hell is Daewoo Barina; heaven.. slammed black E30 with big gold rims?
    Life's too short to drive bad cars.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by pimento View Post
    Hmm.. Ballz hell is Daewoo Barina; heaven.. slammed black E30 with big gold rims?
    imo ballz' hell is something FWD, but too heavy to chuck around.. one of those big american FWD sedans?
    his heaven would either be silbeer (google it), or something to satisfy his lust for italian raging bulls..
    Attached Images Attached Images
    Last edited by clutch-monkey; 06-30-2010 at 05:58 AM.
    Andreas Preuninger, Manager of Porsche High Performance Cars: "Grandmas can use paddles. They aren't challenging."

  6. #6
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    Heaven.

    Outside, sporty brawny muscle without going over the top. Looks must not be trying to reinvent the wheel, or retro. 4 doors only. Most colours are fine except for white red and black or more then one colour at once.

    Inside, very laid back luxury modern, not Bentley Rolls luxury. not sporty retro or anything. Must hold 5 passengers, and have a good size boot.

    RWD, maybe AWD. 6 cylinders minimal, 10 cylinders max.

    Does anyone know what car would match my taste at a good price ?.

    Hell.

    4 cylinder 2 door auto. In anything.
    Last edited by S.O.S; 06-30-2010 at 06:18 AM.
    IT'S OFFICIAL. I'M A SUZUKI KIZASHI SPORT FAN-BOY.

    what stops me from buying this over a XR6 SV6 ?. drive-train. place a little wrx evo magic under the bonnet and i'm sold!.

  7. #7
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    Ballz' heaven is most definately Lamborghini based.

    Hell could be closer than he thinks - A Hyndai Accent Sedan?

    What would I consider heaven? Well outright speed or handling are not huge things for me. enjoyable, certainly, but not deal breakers. What I prefer is an Individualistic choice that expresses how I would like to be viewed - considered, unique, and offputting.

    with that in mind probably a Nissan Cube might be the go?

    Rather perversely my type of hell is something utterly beige or indistinguishable. While the Volvo is very staid it's Grey, not beige. And i've yet to see one exactly like it.

    A silver E90 318i. Ubiquity in motion.
    <cough> www.charginmahlazer.tumblr.com </cough>

  8. #8
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    Is there such a thing as an E90 318i? I thought it started at the 320i now.
    Life's too short to drive bad cars.

  9. #9
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    Eh, same difference. It's still a 4 Cylinder and it's still leased by the same soulless corporate plebians who are attempting to buy something thats not common, and by default buy something that is incredibly common because there are thousands of hive-minded corporate plebians thinking exactly the same way.
    <cough> www.charginmahlazer.tumblr.com </cough>

  10. #10
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    Well yea, I wasn't debating that.
    Life's too short to drive bad cars.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by whiteballz View Post
    The result - the hell-car.. A Toyota Camry, In gold. With tissue box on the rear window.
    What about the Honda Jazz? Oh wait...
    Quote Originally Posted by pimento View Post
    Is there such a thing as an E90 318i? I thought it started at the 320i now.
    Sounded and looked strange, but there's even a 316d on sale for ultimate, I really needed a BMW status.

    Great idea by the way.
    Lack of charisma can be fatal.
    Visca Catalunya!

  12. #12
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    henk's hell: A box donk, probably. (Be on the lookout when traveling to Amelia Island.)

    Kitdy's heaven: A Honda Fit, talk about low standards... Or an old Dodge Caravan.
    Kitdy's hell: Probably something awesome like a 930 or a Clio V6. Kitdy is composed purely of oatmeal, so anything that stands out even a little is a no go.

    For moi: A very nicely-done Q ship, or something light. Very, very light and fizzy. Or something that is off-the-wall eccentric.
    The sleeper because I don't mind, and sometimes like, flying below the radar. Something light because it is a nice counterpoint to my usually-sluggish self. I can't really say I'm eccentric but I find eccentricity interesting and fun. (Cookies for anyone who can combine these three, though not all need to be met.)

    Hell: Most current Nip sedans, they lack any form of eccentricity. Any design that looks overly bloated. I've had my time being porky, no need for a fat car. Any car that Kitdy likes.
    I would also say any car driven by assholes, but I can think of a few that I like and who doesn't love being an asshole sometimes?
    Last edited by f6fhellcat13; 06-30-2010 at 10:25 AM.
    "Kimi, can you improve on your [race] finish?"
    "No. My Finnish is fine; I am from Finland. Do you have any water?"

  13. #13
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    Pieter's heaven is anything that's diesel and french. Everything else can go to hell indeed, especially if it's powered by petrol.
    Lack of charisma can be fatal.
    Visca Catalunya!

  14. #14
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    A Scorpène. French, diesel, and a hybrid!
    However city maneuverability is slightly compromised.
    Attached Images Attached Images
    "Kimi, can you improve on your [race] finish?"
    "No. My Finnish is fine; I am from Finland. Do you have any water?"

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ferrer View Post
    Pieter's heaven is anything that's diesel and french. Everything else can go to hell indeed, especially if it's powered by petrol.
    I can't remember either the DS or the SM having ever been fitted with a diesel engine....
    "I find the whole business of religion profoundly interesting, but it does mystify me that otherwise intelligent people take it seriously." Douglas Adams

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