Quote Originally Posted by Matra et Alpine
BRILLIANT ROFLMAO

Is that duct tape stuck around the rear lights to "change the shape" ?

And did they just paint diagonally across the front lights with the blackboard paint ??

Man, I've not had such a good laugh for a while.

You're going to be in deep-shit if this guy ever joins UCP
Quote Originally Posted by Clivey
...first he wanted the "bad boy" effect on his lights so he's used approximately ten metric tons of bodyfiller around each light of the car
That's what he's done. The layer to change the shape of the front lights is so thin that the light from my phone's flash (and the light from the headlights themselves shine through it (can be seen on the picture)! If you look again at the picture of the front of the caar you can tell where the bonnet starts and finishes by looking at the panel shut lines.

There was an even worse retinal searing in the form of another local "rudeboy", driving a '95 Vauxhall Astra 1.4 (8-valve) 5-door.

He'd fitted GSI bonnet vents, which I noticed outside a local shop and asked "Why do you have them on a 5-door when everybody you're trying to impress knows that the GSI was only a 3-door?" He told me to "F*ck off before I knock you out!" when he noticed the crowd behind me laughing at him.

When I added insult to injury (by asking what engine it was, I already knew the answer) he said "I don't know what engine it is and I don't f*cking care, now f*ck off!" - Admitting that he didn't know anything about the car and as well as allowing me to sample his extensive vocabulary.

There was a bit of background between me and this guy so to show he "meant business" he proceeded to reverse out as fast as he could onto a MAIN ROAD (causing traffic to slam on the brakes and swerve), damaging the underside and rear bumper of his "car" in the processs (high kerb, steep angle down to the road) before revving the engine almost to destruction before bringing the clutch up too fast and stalling it in the middle of the road. When he did finally get underway (with the crowd of us almost rolling about the floor laughing), he left half of his front tyres on the tarmac, although with that car it was all noise and smoke (more from the exhaust than the tyres) and no forward movement.

More on the car: It was a dark green, with two fluorescent yellow boot spoilers, a maroon front grille, Calibra alloys that were scratched to pieces, light grey "patches" welded over rust holes in the dark grey bonnet. It had a rear lower skirt (obliterated during the course of the actions described above) that wasn't intended for that car (and was painted gloss white), a front lower spoiler (all chewed to bits, presumably after being used as a shovel), a maroon front grille (that was hanging off on one side) from a later model year of the same bodyshell (his car was before vauxhall adopted the "V-grille" and so the V version that he did have half-fitted didn't actually, erm, fit. He boasted that it had a DVD player on the inside (if he did it was worth more than the rest of the car put together) and that the car had a turbocharger (despite telling me he didn't know what engine it had).

The best bit? To lower the suspension he removed the standard springs and used an angle grinder to chop about a quarter off the top of them! - No wonder everyone referred to it as the "Death shed"!

I don't think I can get pics of that car as I've not seen it for a while (hopefully he wrapped it around a tree) but I hope that paints enough of a picture for you to find it as amusing as I did.