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Thread: Jokes - Car Names Explained

  1. #1
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    Jokes - Car Names Explained

    Acura
    Automobile Causes Universal Road Accidents
    All Cars Usually Require Adjustment
    Any Child Understands Real Automobiles
    Americans Can Underestimate Routine Accidents

    Aston
    A Stupendous Ton of needles!

    Audi
    Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
    Always Unsafe Designs Implemented

    Beetle
    By Everyone's Experience, They Last Eternally!
    Battered Everywhere; Expect To Lose Engine

    BMW
    Babbling Mechanical Wench
    Beastly Monstrous Wonder
    Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels
    Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
    Big Money Waste
    Big Money Works
    Born Moderately Wealthy
    Break My Windows
    Broken Money Waster
    Broken Monstrous Wonder
    Brutal Money Waster
    Bumbling Mechanical Wretch
    Big Money Waster
    Break My Window
    Busted My Wallet

    Buick
    Big Ugly Import Car Killer
    Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
    Big Ugly Indestructible Compact Killer

    Camaro
    Can't America Make A Real One?

    Chevrolet
    Car Has Extensive Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips
    Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
    Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
    Clutch Hangs, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
    Cracked Head Every Valve Rattles Oil Leaks Every Time

    Chevy
    Cheapest Heap Ever enVisioned Yet

    Chrysler
    Car Having Really Yucky Stupid Lazy Engine Runs
    Could Have Remained Your Sickly Lame Elderly Relative's

    Citroen
    Crummy Interior, Terrible Road-holding, Owned Entirely by Nebishes

    Dodge
    Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter
    Drips Oil, Drops Grease, Everywhere
    Dem Old Dudes Go Everywhere
    Dangerous On Days Gears Engage
    Death Overcomes Driver's Generous Ego
    Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater
    Dukes Often Destroy Good Engines

    Fiat

    Failure in Automotive Technology
    Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation
    Fix It Again Tony?
    Fix It All the Time

    Ford
    Fix Or Repair Daily
    Found On Road Dead
    Backwards... Driver Returns On Foot
    Backwards... Dorks Ride On Fords
    Factory Ordered Road Disaster
    Factory Ordered Rebuilt Dodge
    Flip Over Read Directions
    Four Old Rusted Doors
    Fixed On Race Day
    Ford Owner Really Dumb
    For Only Retarded Drivers
    Ford Owners Recommend Dodge
    Flipped Over Russian Dunebuggy
    Found On Russian Dump
    For Off Road Death
    it Freaking Only Runs Downhill
    Fat Old Rusted Dog
    Freaking Old Rusted Dodge(Datsun)
    Frigin Oakies Really Dig it
    Funky Old Road Dog
    Found On Roadside's Destroyed
    Backwards...Don't Ride Over Fifty
    Fixed-up Old Repossesed Dodge
    Found Old Rebuilt Dodge
    Forget OutRunning Dale
    Found On Railroad Deserted
    Found On Railroad Dead
    Fools Only Read Directions
    First On Repair Dolly
    Favorite Of Redneck Drivers
    Backwards- Dumb Retards Own Fords
    Funny Old Rebuilt Dodge
    Fast Only Rolling Downhill
    Found On Russian Dump
    Forfiet On Race Day
    Found On River Dead
    Failure Of Research & Development

    Ford LTD
    Found On Road Dying, Left To Die

    Geo
    Good Engineering Overlooked
    Gets Eventually Over 50

    GMC
    Garage Man's Companion
    Generally Mediocre Cars
    Get More Chicks
    Got Mechanic Coming
    Generally Made Crappy

    Honda
    How Odd, No Damn Acceleration
    Hold Overs Not Doing Anything
    Hell Of a Nice Damn Automobile
    Had One, Never Did Again

    Hyundai
    Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive...

    Jaguar
    Junk Always Going Under At Repair Shop

    Jeep
    Junk Electrical and Emissions Parts
    Jump Excitedly in Every Pothole
    Junk Everyone Eyes for Parts
    Jinxed Engine has Extra Parts
    Jumps Everything Ever Parked
    JUST Enough Engine Power?
    Jr. Engineered Every Part

    Lotus
    Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious

    Mazda Model All Zoids Drive Aimlessly
    Making A Zillion Dollars Annually
    Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along

    Mercedes
    Most Every Red Cent Eventually Dissipates, Extinguishing Savings

    Mercury
    Mileage Eventually Ruins Car -- Usually Ruins You
    Makes Everyone Really Crave Underpowered, Recalled Yugo
    Makes Envisioning REAL Car Understandable -- Recalled Yet?
    Motorists Easily Rate Car (Usually "Real Yo-yo")

    MG
    Motoring Genius

    Mopar
    Most Often Passed At Races
    Mostly Old Parts And Rust
    Mostly Old Paint And Rust
    Mitsubishi's Over Priced American Replicas
    My Old Plymouth Ain't Runnin'
    Made Of Plastic And Rust
    Move Over Passing Another Rat

    Mustang
    Massively Under Siezed Tires And No Go

    Nissan
    Never In Synch Screeching Awful Noises
    Needs Imminent Salvage So Abandon Now

    Oldsmobile
    Oh Look, Dammit, Some Massive Oil Burning Idiot's Leaking Everything
    Old Loose Dented Sheet Metal Outdated By Infamies Like Edsel
    Old Ladies Driving Slow making Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday
    Old Ladies Drive Slow - Mostly Over Bridges Into Lake Erie
    Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment

    Pinto
    Put In New Transmission Often
    Put In Nickel To Operate
    Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook

    Plymouth

    Please Let Your Mother Out Under The Hood!
    Police Laugh, Old Men Ogle, All Underestimating This Heap

    Pontiac
    Poor Old Nitwit Thinks Its A Cadilliac
    Pours Out Noxious Toxins In American Cities

    Porsche
    Puts Out Really Smoky Carbonate Hazardous Emissions
    Phased Out Racer-Still Can't Hold Engine
    Please Overlook Really Smutty Cardboard Horrible Engine
    Pulled Over Regularly So Cops Have Enough
    Proof Only Rich Suckers Can Have Everything

    Rabbit
    Replace A Beetle? Boy, It Tried
    Racy? Ain't! Bouncy, Bad Itty-bitty Toy!

    Renault
    Retarded Engine, No Acceleration, Ugly Lump of Trash

    Saab
    Swedish Automobile - Always Broken
    Send Another Automobile Back
    Sad Attempt At Beauty
    Sorry Auto Always Broken

    Sable
    Sleezy Auto Brakes Leak Everytime

    Toyota
    Taking Our Yen Out -- Thanks All
    Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
    Towed Often, Yearly Overrunning Triple A

    Triumph
    The Risk Involving Useless Machinery Pays Heavily
    Trembling Ride, Intrusive Undercarriage, Meekly Powered Hotrod.
    This Really Is Unreliable Man, Please Help!
    Tried Repairing It Until My Parts Hurt

    Vanagon
    Via Another Name: A Go-cart On Nerve

    Volkswagen
    Vehicle Owner's List: Kite String, Wire, Aluminum, Gum, Engine (NOT!)

    Volvo
    Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

    VW
    Very Worthless
    Virtually Worthless

    Tks to:
    Dodge by cls12vg30 and NoOne
    Lotus by jameswhintigton
    Mopar by NoOne
    Aston by Spastik Roach
    MG by ZerK
    Chevrolet by MrVette83
    Last edited by DarkPhenix; 04-24-2004 at 04:19 AM.
    .`. DarkPhenix .`.
    .`. Underground Sounds of Lisbon .`.

  2. #2
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    exellent! haha

  3. #3
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    nr Edinburgh, Whisky-soaked Scotland
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    MATRA

    My, All That Rust Already !!!

    ( to true to be really funny )
    "A woman without curves is like a road without bends, you might get to your destination quicker but the ride is boring as hell'

  4. #4
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    Location
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    MG

    Motoring Genius
    Cheers,
    -Ads

    "We used to come down, doing about 180mph. We take off over the bridge and change down to 4th gear in the air. Go through the righthander with the car drifting, and let it swing out through the lefthander and then slide out to the wall, where we simply stopped it with a flick of the wrists"
    -Vic Elford, on Maison Blanche in a Porsche 917


    UCP's Most Hardcore Armchair BTCC Fan & Anthony Reid Supporter

  5. #5
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    tks zerk!
    .`. DarkPhenix .`.
    .`. Underground Sounds of Lisbon .`.

  6. #6
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    Thought that one up in about 3 seconds
    Cheers,
    -Ads

    "We used to come down, doing about 180mph. We take off over the bridge and change down to 4th gear in the air. Go through the righthander with the car drifting, and let it swing out through the lefthander and then slide out to the wall, where we simply stopped it with a flick of the wrists"
    -Vic Elford, on Maison Blanche in a Porsche 917


    UCP's Most Hardcore Armchair BTCC Fan & Anthony Reid Supporter

  7. #7
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    Feb 2004
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    Addition to Chevrolet

    Cracked Head Every Valve Rattles Oil Leaks Every Time
    2005 Victory Red Chevrolet Silverado Crew Cab
    2002 Concord Purple Harley Sportster 883XLC

    "I think the Vietnam war is nothing more than the white people sending the black people to fight the yellow people in order to secure a nation stolen from the red people"-Anonymous

    UCP's Biggest Chevrolet Corvette fan.

  8. #8
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    Feb 2004
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    Raleigh, North Carolina, USA
    Posts
    420
    Here's one:

    Dodge - Dukes Often Destroy Good Engines
    Attached Images Attached Images

  9. #9
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    dark phenix, you have WAY too much time on your hands! lol good post.
    Weekly Quote -

    Dick

  10. #10
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    ASton

    A Stupendous Ton of needles!

  11. #11
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    Sep 2003
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    Hamilton Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    1,860
    Dodge = Done Outta Damn Good Earnings

    Mopar = Move Over Passing Another Rat (RAT being the nickname for Chevy big blocks)


  12. #12
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    Jan 2004
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    83
    You missed one of the most common (and truthful) ones,

    LOTUS :- Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious!

  13. #13
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    For Tax Purposes, Cayman Islands
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    Couple of Variations:

    Proof Of Rich Spoilt Children Having Everything
    Hang On, Not Done Accelerating
    Shape Appears Ass Backwards
    Heap Of Low Down Engineered Nonsense
    Found It At Tip
    Operates Pitifully, Even Lingers
    Allows Users Driving Idiocy
    Creates Indescribable Trouble, Really Evil Old Nutter
    Neon Imitation. Strange, Stupid, Annoying, No-Way
    Seems Everyone Needs To Really Accelerate

    Sorry, my brain just forze............................................. ....................
    <cough> www.charginmahlazer.tumblr.com </cough>

  14. #14
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    Ford: Friends old Laser Died.

  15. #15
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    Tks to all by your sugestions!!
    .`. DarkPhenix .`.
    .`. Underground Sounds of Lisbon .`.

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