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'Champagne quality at lager prices.' That's Vauxhall's verdict on the forthcoming Monaro, which has 'come screeching into the UK' with the promise of 6.0-second, 160mph performance - at an almost absurd-sounding £28,650.
Looking vaguely like an Omega coupe, the Monaro is an Aussie-built Holden model brought to the UK in one of the bolder badge-engineering exercises you're likely to see.
And 'bold' is definitely one of the words you could use to describe it, thanks to its in-yer-face styling and 5.7-litre V8 engine - which puts 329bhp and 343lb ft to the floor through a six-speed manual gearbox and, sing, choirs of angels, rear-wheel drive powertrain. Combined fuel consumption of less than 20mpg might not do your heart much good, but if ya wanna play...
No doubt, then, that this is a pure muscle car in the old-school tradition. Or is it? With twin front and side airbags, seatbelt pre-tensioners, anti-submarining ramps and even (pah, eeeuw, ptui) child restraint anchor points, as well as an LED centre brake light, active front head restraints and seat backs and various failure warning systems, the safety spec reads more like that of a sensible family car.
No, hang on, it can't be a sensible family car. Not with leather, cruise, dual-zone climate, power everything, park assist, trip computer, smart wipers and headlamps, six-disc CD ICE with wheel-mounted controls, alloy pedals and advanced NVH counter-measures... that all sounds more like the preserve of a pretty high-ranking exec model.
But then, what's this? Sports suspension, switchable traction control (aka a fun button), a rear LSD, 18-inch alloys with 235/40 R18 tyres and a special 'make noise' exhaust... you might even be forgiven for picking up more of a super-coupe vibe from it. Especially as there'll be a 380bhp version coming along in the summer, featuring 'all of the above and much, much more.'
Confused yet? It's a supercar, a family car (albeit only with two doors), a luxury car... is the Monaro all things to everyone, possibly? Well, with that sort of price tag it might also start giving the value-or-death brigade a bit of a bleeding nose - because as Vauxhall modestly points out, it costs 20% less than a Mercedes CLK 320, 25% less than a BMW M3 and 40% less than a BMW 6 Series.
As the chorus of 'yes, buts' starts to build, let's also add Vauxhall's note that the £24,000 Nissan 350Z is a 'good performer' but can't 'truly rival the impressive 329bhp of Monaro.' Discuss.
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