It's time for me to make a serious life change

[2ndclasscitizen]

And all the chicks I passed up banging for her will get called back

This.

[shockwaveracing]

at the end of the day try and see the positive of this. obviously she wasn't suited for you if she chose to lie to you, and anybody in your situation can always find someone better to be with than the person that ****ed them over...

don't bother dwelling on it coz it will just eat you up, get on with your life and forget about her, and as you said go and bang the girls you knocked back and enjoy being free again

@blingbling it is a good thing you are not in Oz coz some of your comments would see you get a foot swiftly swung in the direction of your ass for being such a knob. men are just as bad as women at it, so pigeon-holing women with your stupid post is just ridiculous...

[drakkie]

I've been absolutely destroyed by a woman as well in the last few months. I ended up in a major depression and even at the shrink. Make sure, somehow, it doesnt come so far. It's not worth it.

About the not-knowing-what-direction-to-go i am also tied up in this kinda thing. Im highly doubtful if to continue doing Automotive engineering, as i ended up having to redo a full year because of this girl. I doubt if i should do some kind of photography study or continue the automotive engineering and so on.. For now i fill my days with working a lot, following the few subjects i have to redo.

[IBrake4Rainbows]

Honestly....from your description....wow.....

She obviously has no concept of trust or understanding - and sounds like a bit of a master manipulator person. Be glad you're rid of this she devil - and feel sorry for whatever douche-weasle put a ring on her finger.

However, don't get nasty, or get even. Wash your hands & walk away. Don't stoop, under ANY circumstances, because thats when break ups get nasty.

[Bleeding Heart]

Dude... let her go if all seems impossible...

If that girl is engaged to another... let her go... Just think about the thing he did to you... She cheated on you...

After quite some time, you'll forget about her... You'll realise that she's not a great loss...


By the way... If you are about to turn into an emo, don't try to commit suicide..




Some word of wisdom for you...

"It's had to let go of someone you love... Until you learn to love someone else..."

[LeonOfTheDead]

You gotta do what is going to make you happy. If moving back to cali is gonna do that for you, do it and do it soon. I think I've stayed in my current situation too long and have fallen into the depression you've been talking about. Its not good and its tough to get out of.

yeah. on personal experience, move somewhere else.

Sit on it for a few days.
Or keep yourself to busy to think.

and keep you busy as much as you can.

I did so, I focused just on myself, my needs, my interests, my thoughts. I stayed alone (completely) for a long period always trying to find what coul satisfy me, make me happy or a better person without giving a cent to other people. there was just me. maybe I stayed alone too much (), but it helped me "finding myself". after a while, I was feeling better and had enoguh of just myself. I started being more relaxed about the matter, and everything started to work better, both University, life in general and I eventually get engaged with the present gf, an awesome person, since a year now.

as she says, things improve if you let them improve.

staying where you are now, in the situation you are (physically and mentally) would prevent you from improve, so my advice is go back to Cali and start working hard. it could take time to see the light again, but at that point you would know that it has been the right choice.

hope this can help you.

[Matra et Alpine]

Putting aside the smile-raising physical violence suggetions, I'd say all of what's here shodul help.

The one "closure" I might suggest is to find a way to non-verbally communicate to her without her fiancee being able to intercept ( they used to be called letters ) and just put down your concern at the seeming speed of events and that your concern was that she was not acting normal and wanted to ensure she had made an uncoerced decision. If she has chosen of her free will that you understand and walk away and give here one week to pick up the stuff in storage.

That way there's no animosity. Explains simply your concerns and gives her a chance to give one word reply, yes, no or just thanks.

THEN line drawn.
Get on with life.
A shock like this ALWAYS throws even the strongest person into a spiral of personal doubt. A spiral you don't HAVE to follow down and can break early and get back on track. These are GOOD TIMES as they give you a chance to re-appraise your lifestyle, choices, aspirations and future plans. Take as long as you need to see the next steps ... going home for support helps with this for sure, but I'd say don't see it as permanent or a "failure". You go to a bank to get money when you need it, family are the equivalent for love, caring and nurturing. It's no more than a small withdrawal

Best of luck and just remember in life karma is the ultimate get-even Just leave it to it's own path

[Rockefella]

Putting aside the smile-raising physical violence suggetions, I'd say all of what's here shodul help.

The one "closure" I might suggest is to find a way to non-verbally communicate to her without her fiancee being able to intercept ( they used to be called letters ) and just put down your concern at the seeming speed of events and that your concern was that she was not acting normal and wanted to ensure she had made an uncoerced decision. If she has chosen of her free will that you understand and walk away and give here one week to pick up the stuff in storage.

That way there's no animosity. Explains simply your concerns and gives her a chance to give one word reply, yes, no or just thanks.

THEN line drawn.
Get on with life.
A shock like this ALWAYS throws even the strongest person into a spiral of personal doubt. A spiral you don't HAVE to follow down and can break early and get back on track. These are GOOD TIMES as they give you a chance to re-appraise your lifestyle, choices, aspirations and future plans. Take as long as you need to see the next steps ... going home for support helps with this for sure, but I'd say don't see it as permanent or a "failure". You go to a bank to get money when you need it, family are the equivalent for love, caring and nurturing. It's no more than a small withdrawal

Best of luck and just remember in life karma is the ultimate get-even Just leave it to it's own path

That's what I was thinking. Good luck with your future though.

[Quiggs]

A wise man once said, "Bitches ain't shit but hos and tricks."

[fisetdavid26]

A wise man once said, "Bitches ain't shit but hos and tricks."

Calvin Broadus, 1992.

<3

[jcp123]

Well, I'm not much of a weblog guy, but I posted one at myspace early this morning since I couldn't sleep.
MySpace.com - James - 23 - Male - Milpitas, CA / Tyler,, Texas - www.myspace.com/muskrat_james

You know, the weirdest, saddest thing just happened to me. Lord knows how, but it's indeed a strange, strange feeling when you think you're with someone for MONTHS, and they don't.

In two days, I went from thinking I still had the love of my life to look forward to, to finding out she's engaged to another, to having her enraged at my reaction because she had thought we parted ways months before.

Of course, coming from her perspective, that makes total and complete sense. I understand where she's coming from. If I had thought myself wild and free to make these decisions, I would be livid at my ex to come in and do what I did.

Thing is, I was her ex only in her head. I had no idea we were over, and when I saw a picture of her hanging on some other guy, naturally, I was less than thrilled, shall we say. Really, truly, I wish she had been able to communicate to me sooner her wishes for us to be over and done with. I don't know exactly when it was that she considered our relationship to be over, but if I had known it then, it would have hurt ten times less than it does now.

How did this happen? No clue. My best guess is that when she asked for us to talk less so we could concentrate on school, she considered that a breakup. If so, it was implied and never expressed. And I certainly didn't pick up on it. It's odd because we had always been so good at communicating, and I never figured she would let something so monumental slip under the radar.

Besides being sad, I'm angry that she let me waste all this time waiting for her. I would loved to have moved on a long time ago, but she never gave me that chance. Hell, I was even still paying rent on a storage unit with her stuff. At this point, there's no reason for me to be paying it, so I guess I'll dispose of that stuff. I don't really know what else to do with it, especially because she'd probably call the cops on me if I sent it to her. And I got the impression she wouldn't want to spend enough time around me to pick it up.

The moral of the story is that each and every one of you should keep your lines of communication open, and that when you do communicate, be clear. I am an example of the pain that occurs when these communications break down. I hope that someone will read this and realize that communication is the key. I hope nobody has to go through anything like this. It is truly awful.

I have a vain hope that she might actually read this and understand. I doubt this will happen, but in any case it feels good to be able to get it down in some form of 'writing', even if it is just electronic.

If you are reading this, I wish you and yours all the best. I am truly sorry things went the way they did. I understand you were acting out of your perspective, but please understand that I was acting out of my perspective as well. The pain is immense, and if blame is to be passed, I pass it to you. But that doesn't change the fact that you were the love of my life. I experienced so many amazing things with you which I will never forget, and I hope you don't either. You helped me grow in ways and to extents I never imagined. Though I understand you have chosen otherwise, I still love you, and I will always miss you. It's a void in my life to not have you to look forward to every morning. Perhaps one day we can talk about things and bring a little closure to this chapter of our lives - a chapter that's been the most fabulous one of my life by far.

[Matra et Alpine]

a ncie way to end the worry and negative feelings it has given you.

[Vindesh17]

It really is a nice way to end it. I myself have been through something very similar quite recently, say about two months ago but not as extreme a situation as yours. Now I just try to live my life and move on. Its hard when you've been with someone for so long and when you know them so well, or in my case thought I knew her so well. Sometimes people change, there might not always be reasons. But it happens and we just have to accept it and continue on as best we can. Knowing that everything wont be the same will hurt, but it may also be a blessing in disguise. Whatever happens just keep your head up and try not to let it get you down. You're already on the right track.

[LeonOfTheDead]

it's funny that the same day you started this thread, someone else started one about marriage. it show you how things are made to be different each day. perhaps, as Vindesh said, you are not going to know why every time it happens. surely there is a reason, and exactly the fact that you don't know it means that there is something wrong in the story. something about communication, as you pointed out. communication is the key.

I think almost all of us have experienced something like this, or eventually will (not casting some spell). the point is to understand what happened, and use it as a new beginning, a way to improve your life and make it a better place, because you have learned from you mistakes, or simply from what happened. you can't always say who is to be blamed. perhaps, she is wrong because she said it was over months ago, but she should have told that when she understood that. but you should also consider that maybe it was also your fault, because you let her go in some way. my experience was very similar to yours (a 4 years story, but I was considerably younger than you).
as time passed, I understood in a couple there are two people, and both of them are responsible for the fate of the couple, so it's never a matter of who is to be blamed, because usually, they are both.

as already posted, live for yourself know, try to be happy just for yourself and no one else.
personal opinion, you can't be a good person to stay with, if you can't stay by your own for a while and be fine with yourself. somehow, you have to be fine with yourself to let people being interested by you, so you should focus on that now. how much is "a while"? that's just up to you.

hope you the best. and keep walking tall.

[f6fhellcat13]

Calvin Broadus, 1992.

<3

Don't forget André Young.