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Thread: Plastic surgeon solves America's fuel crisis!

  1. #1
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    Plastic surgeon solves America's fuel crisis!

    Dr. Alan Bittner, a California (where else?) plastic surgeon has been using the fat removed from his liposuction patients to fuel his car.

    At last, the answer to America's fuel needs! Since we already have the world's largest supply of fat people, why not put them to good use? We could make ourselves energy independent overnight! And that's only with just the fat bastards living in my town alone!

    The next time you see a fat person, remember to thank him/her for being the solution to our energy problem!

    Inquiry into US plastic surgeon who 'used fat from clients to run car' - Telegraph


    Cheers,
    Madman of the People

  2. #2
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    Time to get the fire suit from the closet.
    Rockefella says:
    pat's sister is hawt
    David Fiset says:
    so is mine
    David Fiset says:
    do want

  3. #3
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    I would have thought an easier way to solve the fuel crisis would be to have these fat people walk, run or cycle it off.

    You know, whatever.

    Maybe even push their vehicle?
    <cough> www.charginmahlazer.tumblr.com </cough>

  4. #4
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    Wow. That's like the fat-soap from Fight Club.
    I'm dropping out to create a company that starts with motorcycles, then cars, and forty years later signs a legendary Brazilian driver who has a public and expensive feud with his French teammate.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by IBrake4Rainbows View Post
    I would have thought an easier way to solve the fuel crisis would be to have these fat people walk, run or cycle it off.

    You know, whatever.

    Maybe even push their vehicle?
    Flintstones cars maybe?

  6. #6
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    The real solution is to stop putting corn syrup in EVERY FOOD PRODUCT IN AMERICA and start using it for ethanol. Solve the fuel and obesity crisis at the same time.
    "The Metric System is the tool of the Devil! My car gets 40 Rods to the Hogshead and that's the ways I likes it!" -Grandpa Simpson

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by NicFromLA View Post
    The real solution is to stop putting corn syrup in EVERY FOOD PRODUCT IN AMERICA and start using it for ethanol. Solve the fuel and obesity crisis at the same time.
    but that would keep the subsidies going. and im very much against those.
    Honor. Courage. Commitment. Etcetera.

  8. #8
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    How is this legal?
    John says:
    so i had to dump acid into the block tank today
    i'm afraid to fap
    cause i got it on my hands

  9. #9
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    Hey, instead of being cremated I want the fat sucked out of me and used to power whatever the hottest Ferrari is at the time.

    Erm...I'll take a tank of high octane Dino. Woah...what did this guy eat.

  10. #10
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    thats interesting...i dont by corn oil for cooking to keep ethanol prices down. I use the leftover fat from my plastic surgeries to cook with...duh!
    A woman goes to the doctor to figure out why she is having breathing problems...The doctor tells her she is overweight. She says she wants a second opinion...the doctor says, "your ugly".

  11. #11
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    Dr. Alan Bittner, a California (where else?) plastic surgeon has been using the fat removed from his liposuction patients to fuel his car.

    Inquiry into US plastic surgeon who 'used fat from clients to run car' - Telegraph

    "It is illegal in the US to use human medical waste to power vehicles."
    ^^ Where else but in America would there be a law against this .. and why?



    Btw: world-record-circumnavigation-power-boat-using-human-fat

    Earthrace

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by cmcpokey View Post
    but that would keep the subsidies going. and im very much against those.
    As am I. But if they're going to subsides anyway . . . two bird with one stone and all that.
    "The Metric System is the tool of the Devil! My car gets 40 Rods to the Hogshead and that's the ways I likes it!" -Grandpa Simpson

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dino Scuderia View Post
    Hey, instead of being cremated I want the fat sucked out of me and used to power whatever the hottest Ferrari is at the time.
    This is the best idea anyone has ever had... ever... ever.

  14. #14
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    for the best engine performance: Put an American in your tank....
    "I find the whole business of religion profoundly interesting, but it does mystify me that otherwise intelligent people take it seriously." Douglas Adams

  15. #15
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    so what's best, Shell's V-Power or Mcdonald's McBurger?!
    KFL Racing Enterprises - Kicking your ass since 2008

    *cough* http://theitalianjunkyard.blogspot.com/ *cough*

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