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Thread: If Microsoft Built Cars

  1. #1
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    If Microsoft Built Cars

    These are great

    1. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy a new car.

    2. Occasionally your car would just die on the roadway for no reason, accept this, restart and drive on.

    3. Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail to restart and you'd have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you'd just accept this too.

    4. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought a "Car 95" or a "Car NT". But then you'd have to buy more seats.

    5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was twice as reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive - but it would only run on five percent of the roads.

    6. The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars which would make their cars go much slower.

    7. The oil, engine, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced with a single "General Car Fault" warning light.

    8. People would get excited about the "new" features in Microsoft cars, forgetting completely that they had been available in other cars for many years.

    9. We'd all have to switch to Microsoft gas and all auto fluids but the packaging would be supurb.

    10. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

    11. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.

    12. If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.

    13. They wouldn't build their own engines, but form a cartel with their engine suppliers. The latest engine would have 16 cylinders, multi-point fuel injection and 4 turbos, but it would be a side-valve design so you could use Model-T Ford parts on it.

    14. There would be an "Engium Pro" with bigger turbos, but it would be slower on most existing roads.

    15. Microsoft cars would have a special radio/cassette player which would only be able to listen to Microsoft FM, and play Microsoft Cassettes. Unless of course, you buy the upgrade to use existing stuff.

    16. Microsoft would do so well, because even though they don't own any roads, all of the road manufacturers would give away Microsoft cars free, including IBM!

    17. If you still ran old versions of car (ie. CarDOS 6.22/CarWIN 3.11), then you would be called old fashioned, but you would be able to drive much faster, and on more roads!

    18. If you couldn't afford to buy a new car, then you could just borrow your friends, and then copy it.

    19. Whenever you bought a car, you would have to reorganize the ignition for a few days before it worked.

    20. You would need to buy an upgrade to run cars on a highway next to each other.


    From: saleenunlimited
    John says:
    so i had to dump acid into the block tank today
    i'm afraid to fap
    cause i got it on my hands

  2. #2
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    hehe... good read.
    Rockefella says:
    pat's sister is hawt
    David Fiset says:
    so is mine
    David Fiset says:
    do want

  3. #3
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    when someone went near it or worked on it they could give it a virus forcing you to buy an aftermarket forewal for it

    you would buy oil for it called Notron Antivirus 04

    if you didn't equip it with NT it won't be compatable with all popular aftermarket parts

    right when you buy one, they come out with a better one.

    EDIT:

    after you repair it you have to buy a patch for it

    The windshield wipers would be renamed to the Microsoft Window washers.
    Last edited by Karrmann; 09-19-2004 at 03:37 PM.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Karrmann
    right when you buy one, they come out with a better one.

    Well this one pretty much goes for real cars too.
    John says:
    so i had to dump acid into the block tank today
    i'm afraid to fap
    cause i got it on my hands

  5. #5
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    OMIGOSH Karrman used the edit! he didnt double post +1!
    i mean errr
    have some fruit!

    oh and Badda great find mate!
    i love the
    "you can borrow it from your friends and copy it!"
    Attached Images Attached Images
    The Datto will rage again...

  6. #6
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    Thanks Blue Supra, Dont like bananas tho.
    John says:
    so i had to dump acid into the block tank today
    i'm afraid to fap
    cause i got it on my hands

  7. #7
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    badda for this great thread,have a lunchable


  8. #8
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    Lunchables are now Karrmanns trademark

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spastik_Roach
    Lunchables are now Karrmanns trademark
    Everyone should get one! that can be a rep idea! everyone who wants to can get their own food/drink pic and post it everytime they want to tell someone they have a good post, Karrmans is a Lunchable(never herd of it but anyways) lets all just get our own!
    The Datto will rage again...

  10. #10
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    No thank you, I'll stick with my loaf of french bread & bottled tea. :P
    UCP's most hardcore skunk

  11. #11
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    If MS made cars, they's make 95% of the cars on the road
    "NEVER ALLOW SOMEONE TO BE YOUR PRIORITY, WHILE ALLOWING YOURSELF TO BE THEIR OPTION"

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by taz_rocks_miami
    If MS made cars, they's make 95% of the cars on the road
    yep but most folks woudl claim it's better to replace the steering wheel with one from Mozilla/Firefox/Opera
    "A woman without curves is like a road without bends, you might get to your destination quicker but the ride is boring as hell'

  13. #13
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    i thought microsoft already made their first car, i am pretty sure that "i-drive" isnt BMW's idea.
    ----R.I.P----
    "Misho Ratio"
    2003 - 2004

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Misho
    i thought microsoft already made their first car, i am pretty sure that "i-drive" isnt BMW's idea.
    It only had one button, so had to be MAC
    "A woman without curves is like a road without bends, you might get to your destination quicker but the ride is boring as hell'

  15. #15
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    Yeah if microsoft built cars once you payed for it you relize hey it's got no engine, No tranny, No wheels, No seats, No stereo, No steering wheel, No doors, No carpet, but in the book they had a pic of a full car and a price tag of just under 5Million.
    Pay the 1million for a upgrade you got yourself a full working car now
    Till you drive home and the dam thing stops half way, And reports Your engine has encounted a problem and needs to shut down.
    Call Microsoft and they say well that's windows
    "Just a matter of time i suppose"

    "The elevator is broke, So why don't you test it out"

    "I'm not trapped in here with all of you, Your all trapped in here with me"

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