Funny Jokes ... WARNING: may offend

[IWantAnAudiRS6]

I love it when you get idiots breaking into cars! There are many tales to tell. I once spoke to a guy who showed me his knuckles- they looked like they'd been through a bacon slicer. Apparently, he broke into an old Fiesta with his shirt wrapped around his fist, and things didn't quite work out. He made 26p for his foray, though.

[Matra et Alpine]

24 SIGNS YOU MIGHT BE CANADIAN

1. You understand the phrase "Could you pass me a serviette, I just dropped my poutine, on the chesterfield." (napkin, french fries with melted cheese on the sofa)

2. You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars.

3. You drink Pop, not Soda.

4. You know what a Mickey and 2-4 mean (Half a twenty six ounce bottle of liquor and a case of 24 bottles of beer)

5. You don't care about the fuss with Cuba. It's a cheap place to go for your holidays, with good cigars and no Americans.

6. You know that a pike is a type of fish, not part of a highway.

7. You drive on a highway, not a freeway.

8. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers. (a store that gives a rebate in the form of play money- the store is a Canadian icon, and they are everywhere)

9. You know that Casey and Finnegan were not part of a Celtic musical group. (they are puppets from a kids show that was on air for ever)

10. You get excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.

11. You brag to Americans that: Shania Twain, Jim Carrey, Celine Dion & many more, are Canadians.

12. You know that the C.E.O. of American Airlines is a Canadian!

13. You know what a touque is. (1. A chef's hat, 2. a knitted cap)

14. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

15. You know that the last letter of the English alphabet is always pronounced "Zed" not "Zee"

16. Your local newspaper covers the national news on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.

17. You know that the four seasons mean: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road work.

18. You know that when it's 25 degrees outside, it's a warm day.

19. You understand the Labatt Blue commercials. (beer)

20. You know how to pronounce and spell "Saskatchewan". (Sas-Kat-chew-wan)

21. You perk up when you hear the theme song from 'Hockey Night in Canada'.

22. You were in grade 12, not the 12th grade.

23. "Eh?" is a very important part of your vocabulary, and is more polite than, "Huh?"

24. You actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all of your Canadian friends!!!! and then you send them to your American friends just to confuse them...further.

[Waugh-terfall]

Are YOU Canadian then Matra? lol

[2ndclasscitizen]

[IWantAnAudiRS6]

Enjoy these tasty snacks!

[The_Canuck]

24 SIGNS YOU MIGHT BE CANADIAN

1. You understand the phrase "Could you pass me a serviette, I just dropped my poutine, on the chesterfield." (napkin, french fries with melted cheese on the sofa)

2. You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars.

3. You drink Pop, not Soda.

4. You know what a Mickey and 2-4 mean (Half a twenty six ounce bottle of liquor and a case of 24 bottles of beer)

5. You don't care about the fuss with Cuba. It's a cheap place to go for your holidays, with good cigars and no Americans.

6. You know that a pike is a type of fish, not part of a highway.

7. You drive on a highway, not a freeway.

8. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers. (a store that gives a rebate in the form of play money- the store is a Canadian icon, and they are everywhere)

9. You know that Casey and Finnegan were not part of a Celtic musical group. (they are puppets from a kids show that was on air for ever)

10. You get excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.

11. You brag to Americans that: Shania Twain, Jim Carrey, Celine Dion & many more, are Canadians.

12. You know that the C.E.O. of American Airlines is a Canadian!

13. You know what a touque is. (1. A chef's hat, 2. a knitted cap)

14. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

15. You know that the last letter of the English alphabet is always pronounced "Zed" not "Zee"

16. Your local newspaper covers the national news on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.

17. You know that the four seasons mean: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road work.

18. You know that when it's 25 degrees outside, it's a warm day.

19. You understand the Labatt Blue commercials. (beer)

20. You know how to pronounce and spell "Saskatchewan". (Sas-Kat-chew-wan)

21. You perk up when you hear the theme song from 'Hockey Night in Canada'.

22. You were in grade 12, not the 12th grade.

23. "Eh?" is a very important part of your vocabulary, and is more polite than, "Huh?"

24. You actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all of your Canadian friends!!!! and then you send them to your American friends just to confuse them...further.

and I, am, Canadian!

[NSXType-R]

Gee, what gave that away?

[Mr.Tiv]

Enjoy these tasty snacks!

Taking credit for the content of my favorites, I see, and still no rainbow...

[The_Canuck]

Gee, what gave that away?

Molson Canadian beer comercials....

[jcp123]

13. You know what a touque is. (1. A chef's hat, 2. a knitted cap)

Damn. Busted. I must be Canuck then

[IBrake4Rainbows]

[Ferrer]

That genuinely made me laugh.

[jediali]

[Pando]

[IMG]

Ah, on a related note:

[2ndclasscitizen]