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Thread: Funny Jokes ... WARNING: may offend

  1. #2521
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    brisbane - sub-tropical land of mangoes
    Posts
    16,251
    fast and the furious..macdonalds style.
    Mcdonalds Fast and Furious style
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I live my life a quarter pounder at a time. And for those 500 calories or
    more, I'm free
    I need FRIIIIIIESSSSSS! 2 of them, the big ones. Oh, and I need them tonight!!

    AMATURES DONT USE SUPER SIZE! I'VE SEEN HOW YOU EAT!!! YOU'VE GOT A BIG MOUTH!! YOU'LL BLOW YOURSELF UP!

    What's the retail on one of those?? More than you can afford pal, a 6
    dollar burger!

    You're lucky the double shot of bbq sauce didn't blow a seam on your nugget box!!!

    Whoa!
    There she is, 2 pounds of pure MickeyD's beef. My dad ate it in 9.9
    seconds. There was so much special sauce, the juices actually dripped onto his chin coming off the line.
    What's your time?
    I haven't tasted her. She scares the crap outta me.

    My grill topped out at 140 degrees, I need more charcoal, 2 bags, the big ones

    So what're you eatin?! Oh you gonna make me look under the bun and find out?? You're brave.

    It's not how you stand by your burger, it's how you EAT your burger.

    Bull shi butt hole! no one likes the McTuna sandwhich around here!

    You at you, your granny-biting, not chomping like you should!!!

    Now me and Ronald McDonald here are gonna have to rip open the counter, and replace the ONION RINGS YOU ATE.

    You know you owe me a 10 pack of nuggets.
    ooh. Ouch!

    Don't do it! I'll bet he's got at least a triple cheeseburger under that bun!

    When you gonna give me a shot at that double quarter pounder of yours?

    Torretto's got ketchup in his veins and an all beef patty for a brain.

    They opened my bag. Disrespected my fries.

    All becuase someone narked me out! AND YOU KNOW WHAT!! IT WAS RONALD!!!

    I thought we had an understanding? You stay on your side of the play-place, I stay on mine.


    Bryan - "Welcome to Mcdonald's, make I take your order?"
    Hector - "Yeah, I made a list. I want 3 of everything."

    Pop the bun.
    Pop the bun?

    No @#%$! A BKBroiler! This will decimate all...

    that is one hell of a way to spend $.10

    Bryan-He was in MY shake!
    Dom - Now I'm in your shake!

    All the descriptions were the same. 3 black angus beef patties,
    precision-placed pickles, mushimoto mayonaisse.

    I bet a couple of 1/2 pound patties would pull a premium three days before Taste Wars wouldn't they?

    Check it out it's like this. If I lose, winner takes my happy meal. But If I win, I take the burger AND the TOY. To some people thats more important.
    Andreas Preuninger, Manager of Porsche High Performance Cars: "Grandmas can use paddles. They aren't challenging."

  2. #2522
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    NEW YORK
    Posts
    6,985
    Attached Images Attached Images
    John says:
    so i had to dump acid into the block tank today
    i'm afraid to fap
    cause i got it on my hands

  3. #2523
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    Jun 2005
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    Idaho
    Posts
    6,369
    I'm not seeing it

  4. #2524
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    Feb 2004
    Location
    Connecticut, USA
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    6,065
    Quote Originally Posted by Zytek_Fan View Post
    I'm not seeing it
    Colin(myporsche) is in the background on the right, he has no front driveshaft.
    "We went to Wnedy's. I had chicken nuggest." ~ Quiggs

  5. #2525
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    The land of the free and home of the whopper!
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    Quote Originally Posted by johnnynumfiv View Post
    Colin(myporsche) is in the background on the right, he has no front driveshaft.
    LOL.

    (filler)
    roflcopter

  6. #2526
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    Feb 2004
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    Western Sydney, Australia
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    11,112
    Quote Originally Posted by clutch-monkey View Post
    fast and the furious..macdonalds style.
    I NEVER want to see a mc donalds joint again. Ordered 2x triple cheezburgrs (kthxbai) put them together, and ate, so it became a hexipaddyburger. seriously gross. Atleast i can say ive eaten the worlds worst burger. (was actually on my to do before i die list)
    Weekly Quote -

    Dick

  7. #2527
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    Aug 2004
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    Texas
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    Quote Originally Posted by johnnynumfiv View Post
    Colin(myporsche) is in the background on the right, he has no front driveshaft.
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA that picture is ****ing great. Oh man. I think that's the hardest I've laughed at something on the interwebz. I can't believe you got that picture. Fact: I don't know any of the girls in that picture.

    Oh my God teh bracez. Thankfully they are long gone.
    He came dancing across the water
    With his galleons and guns
    Looking for the new world
    In that palace in the sun
    On the shore lay Montezuma
    With his cocoa leaves and pearls

  8. #2528
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Northampton, Pennsylvania
    Posts
    7,989
    You are a textbook "That Guy."
    [O o)O=\x/=O(o O]

    The things we do for girls who won't sleep with us.

    Patrick says:
    dads is too long so it wont fit
    so i took hers out
    and put mine in

  9. #2529
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    11,391
    Indeed.

    Actually I take that back, I know the middle girl, I guess that's how I got the picture...?
    He came dancing across the water
    With his galleons and guns
    Looking for the new world
    In that palace in the sun
    On the shore lay Montezuma
    With his cocoa leaves and pearls

  10. #2530
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    Adelaide
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    Quote Originally Posted by whiteballz View Post
    I NEVER want to see a mc donalds joint again. Ordered 2x triple cheezburgrs (kthxbai) put them together, and ate, so it became a hexipaddyburger. seriously gross. Atleast i can say ive eaten the worlds worst burger. (was actually on my to do before i die list)
    Not bad. On one of our all boys fishing trips we commissioned a baker to make us a huge bun and we made a patty out of half a kilo of mince. It took about ten slices of cheese. The lady at the camp site called us f@#&* idiots.

    It looked something like this


    but we shared it between three though. Not like that heart attack candidate.
    "A string is approximately nine long."
    Egg Nogg 02-04-2005, 05:07 AM

  11. #2531
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    Apr 2003
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    St Marys Western Sydney
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    Quote Originally Posted by whiteballz View Post
    I NEVER want to see a mc donalds joint again. Ordered 2x triple cheezburgrs (kthxbai) put them together, and ate, so it became a hexipaddyburger. seriously gross. Atleast i can say ive eaten the worlds worst burger. (was actually on my to do before i die list)
    Thats not as good as a Pounder.
    I am the Stig

  12. #2532
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    Aug 2004
    Location
    Coldenflat
    Posts
    4,557
    I'll take your half kilo and double it.

    Enter, the late Kilo Burger, from Norman's (I think they went out of business), the insanity of the 1kilo-of-meat burger.
    Norman's Steak'n Burger. Kosher Steakhouse restaurant in Jerusalem
    "I'd hate to die twice. It's so boring" - Richard Feynman, last recorded words.

  13. #2533
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    Jan 2004
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    Sydney, Down Under
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    8,833
    Quote Originally Posted by my porsche View Post
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA that picture is ****ing great. Oh man. I think that's the hardest I've laughed at something on the interwebz. I can't believe you got that picture. Fact: I don't know any of the girls in that picture.
    They probably didn't care because you don't have a front driveshaft.
    Faster, faster, faster, until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death...
    – Hunter Thompson

  14. #2534
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    For Tax Purposes, Cayman Islands
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    I can imagine the conversation.

    "WTF is that creepy guy behind us?"
    "Oh, thats Colin. his truck doesn't have a front driveshaft"
    "SHUN!"
    <cough> www.charginmahlazer.tumblr.com </cough>

  15. #2535
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    Jan 2004
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    Sydney, Down Under
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    Quote Originally Posted by IBrake4Rainbows View Post
    I can imagine the conversation.

    "WTF is that creepy guy behind us?"
    "Oh, thats Colin. his truck doesn't have a front driveshaft"
    "SHUN!"
    I meant it as a lack-of-penis joke, but that still works.
    Faster, faster, faster, until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death...
    – Hunter Thompson

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