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Thread: Funny Jokes ... WARNING: may offend

  1. #3271
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    nr Edinburgh, Whisky-soaked Scotland
    Posts
    27,778
    Sorry, mate on a roll that is making me groan.

    only medicine I can come up with is to spread the pain



    Freddie Mercury had just finished his meal in a Greek restaurant when the waiter came over with a couple of plates for him to smash.
    "Can you go and get me another one please?" asked Freddie Mercury.
    "Why?" Asked the waiter.
    "I want to break three."


    Nice offer on Amazon - if you buy all Adam & The Ants sheet music, they'll throw in a stand and deliver.


    When my wife said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking.
    And then I saw her face.



    I've founded a band called The Prevention.
    We're going to be better than The Cure.



    I've just written a song called 'Broken Alarm Clock Blues'. It starts off...
    'I woke up this afternoon...'


    My girlfriend's dad is so posh,
    he calls Roger Daltrey's band The Whom.
    "A woman without curves is like a road without bends, you might get to your destination quicker but the ride is boring as hell'

  2. #3272
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Perth, Australia
    Posts
    6,536
    If my flash plugin was working I'd try and find a way to embed this.

    Anyway, Jamie's Joke of the Week.
    Life's too short to drive bad cars.

  3. #3273
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    East Coast of the United States
    Posts
    11,845
    Just a bump on this thread...

    I was talking to a classmate of mine who owns a Mazda Miata. I brought up the fact that there were very special editions of the Miata that were hardtop coupes. They are very rare, and very pretty.

    BUBBLE ERA EXCESS: The story of Mazdas M2 brand, Part 02 | Japanese Nostalgic Car

    Well, I was saying "they look incredibly good, especially from the rear...".

    Then, a girl, who is quite attractive herself, sits right next to us as we're about to start class.

    It was interesting trying to convince her of what we were actually talking about.
    Last edited by NSXType-R; 12-05-2014 at 06:09 PM.

  4. #3274
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    10,173
    You coulda lied and said you were talking about her.

    This is the one you want:


  5. #3275
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
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    East Coast of the United States
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    Yes!

    That's the one!

  6. #3276
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Barcelona
    Posts
    33,492
    Yep, probably lying would've net a better result.

    By the way, I want a Mazda to release a hardtop version of the latest MX-5, buy it, then realise I've made a terrible mistake, sell it, buy an Alfa Romeo, etc.
    Lack of charisma can be fatal.
    Visca Catalunya!

  7. #3277
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    10,173
    Quote Originally Posted by Ferrer View Post
    Yep, probably lying would've net a better result.

    By the way, I want a Mazda to release a hardtop version of the latest MX-5, buy it, then realise I've made a terrible mistake, sell it, buy an Alfa Romeo, etc.
    That sounds about right.

    I want to see an eye-job on the new Miata then all will be well...er.

    Is there a joke here?

  8. #3278
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    Jun 2005
    Location
    East Coast of the United States
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    Hey would you look at that, speaking of hardtop Miatas...

    The other day I was talking about the Subaru Impreza WRX STI with a friend and I very loudly said, "I wish I could get an STI in the future." A girl overhears it and does a double take, because STI also stands for Sexually Transmitted Infection.

    Mind you, we're all classmates training to be medical professionals.

  9. #3279
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
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    East Coast of the United States
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    If you zoom in on the image, you can see how long the damn No Parking sign is. At some point, it's just easier to put down when you can park rather than when you can't park.

    Sometimes, it helps to have some positivity.
    Attached Images Attached Images

  10. #3280
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Posts
    4
    Quote Originally Posted by Matra et Alpine View Post
    spotted this in facebook, needless to se it was Aussies




    I'm just thinking how our egg-nog test could have gone SO WRONG !!!
    I have a friend with this shift knob. I will take pic and post here

  11. #3281
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    Jun 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ferrer View Post
    Yep, probably lying would've net a better result.

    By the way, I want a Mazda to release a hardtop version of the latest MX-5, buy it, then realise I've made a terrible mistake, sell it, buy an Alfa Romeo, etc.
    Huh, looks like your prediction was half true.

    Lots of foul language, but man, I miss George Carlin and his humor.

    George Carlin - Driving - YouTube

  12. #3282
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Posts
    8
    Quote Originally Posted by Salica View Post
    I have a friend with this shift knob. I will take pic and post here
    Tag it baby!

  13. #3283
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    Oct 2018
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    6

  14. #3284
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    Jun 2005
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    Check out the license plate.
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  15. #3285
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    Jun 2005
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    I saw this on Audi's Facebook profile today. Their social media coordinator must be either tone deaf or really have no clue what models they offer with a manual transmission...

    Oh wait, they don't.
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