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Thread: Bush's Resume

  1. #1
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    Bush's Resume

    RESUME
    George W. Bush
    The White House, USA

    EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE

    LAW ENFORCEMENT: I was arrested in Kennebunkport,
    Maine in 1976 for driving under the influence of
    alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my
    driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas
    driving record has been "lost" and is not available.

    MILITARY: I joined the Texas Air National Guard and
    went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any
    questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air
    National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in
    Vietnam.

    COLLEGE: I graduated from Yale University. I was a
    cheerleader.

    PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
    I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.
    I began my career in the oil business in Midland,
    Texas in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't
    find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt
    shortly after I sold all my stock.

    I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a
    sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.

    With the help of my father and our right-wing friends
    in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I
    was elected Governor of Texas.

    ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR:
    I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil
    companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the
    Union.

    During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the
    most smog-ridden city in America.

    I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the
    tune of billions in borrowed money.

    I set the record for the most executions by any
    Governor in American history.

    With the help of my brother, the Governor of Florida,
    and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I
    became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.

    ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
    I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing
    cost of over one billion dollars per week.

    I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted
    the U.S. Treasury.

    I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit
    in U.S. history.

    I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies
    filed in any 12-month period.

    I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the
    history of the U.S. stock market.

    I am the first president in U.S. history to enter
    office with a criminal record.

    I set the the all-time record for most days on
    vacation in any one year period.

    After taking-off the entire month of August, I
    presided over the worst security failure in
    U.S.history.

    I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical
    Bunker Buster," a WMD.

    In my State Of The Union Address, I lied about our
    reasons for attacking Iraq, then blamed the lies on
    our British friends.

    I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips
    by a U.S. president.

    In my first year in office over 2-million Americans
    lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.

    I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a
    12-month period.

    I appointed more convicted criminals to administration
    than any president in U.S. history.

    I set the record for least amount of press conferences
    than any president since the advent of television.

    I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S.
    history and refused to intervene when corruption
    involving the oil industry was revealed.

    I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S.
    history.

    I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and
    support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops
    and their families-in war time.

    I have set the all-time record for most people
    worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public
    venues (15 million people) shattering the record for
    protest against any person in the history of mankind.

    I've broken more international treaties than any
    president in U.S. history.

    I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the
    richest of any administration in U.S. history. My
    "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron
    oil tanker named after her.

    I am the first president in U.S. history to order an
    unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military
    occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the
    will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S.
    citizens, and the world community.


    I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the
    largest bureaucracy in the history of the United
    States government .

    I am the first president in U.S. history to have the
    United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights
    Commission.

    I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.
    I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. prisoners
    of war" detainees) and thereby have refused to abide
    by the Geneva Convention.

    I am the first president in history to refuse United
    Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S.
    election).

    I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for
    receiving the most corporate campaign donations.

    My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of
    my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the
    largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. history. My
    political party used the Enron private jets and
    corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S.
    Supreme Court during my election decision. I have
    protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against
    investigation or prosecution. More time and money was
    spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than
    has been spent investigating one of the biggest
    corporate ripoffs in history.

    I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the
    World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later
    made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the
    largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

    I am first president in history to have a majority of
    Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest
    threat to world peace and security.

    I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals
    to be awarded government contracts.

    I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring
    Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein to justice.

    RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
    All records of my tenure as Governor of Texas are now
    in my father's library, sealed, and unavailable for
    public view.

    All records of SEC investigations into my insider
    trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in
    secrecy and unavailable for public view.

    All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my
    Vice-President, attended regarding public energy
    policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for
    public review.

    This is from politicalhell.com
    VIVA FERRARI!!!!!!

    "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy!" ~ Benjamin Franklin

    If everything's under control, you're going too slow ~ Mario Andretti

    "We can't stop here! This is bat country!" ~ [U]Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas: A Savage Journey into the Heart of the American Dream[/U]

  2. #2
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    He surely has a unique talent.
    If you should see a man walking down a crowded street talking aloud to himself, don't run in the opposite direction, but run towards him, because he's a poet. You have nothing to fear from the poet - but the truth.

    (Ted Joans)

  3. #3
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    How many foreign countries has he visited in the last 4 years?

    He came to Blighty once IIRC, and demanded that most of the places he was going had to be evacuated for miles around, for "security" reasons.

    I know he visited Iraq for about 30s - 1min at Thanksgiving.

    I spotted him in France for the D-Day service, that must have been a whole afternoon at least.

    Nothing else springs to mind at the moment.
    Thanks for all the fish

  4. #4
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    Hes a tosser, Kerry better bloddy win!
    The Datto will rage again...

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coventrysucks
    How many foreign countries has he visited in the last 4 years?
    Actually he was in Nigeria in June 2003, giving a press conference at the Abuja Hilton hotel, which of course became impossible to enter. I couldn't help noticing that the first road dwon from the airport to the city is called the Bill Clinton Avenue. Somehow there is some justice in this cruel word.
    "I find the whole business of religion profoundly interesting, but it does mystify me that otherwise intelligent people take it seriously." Douglas Adams

  6. #6
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    Great post!

  7. #7
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    thats interesting and a little bit funny. as a republican im not a big fan of it tho. i admit hes an idiot however.
    [url]www.spenserheaps.smugmug.com[/url]

  8. #8
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    I just saw Fahrenheit 911 5 minutes ago. Great film.

    Would anybody care to tell me what's not true about the movie?

    Nice post Ferrari

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by SPHFerrari
    thats interesting and a little bit funny. as a republican im not a big fan of it tho. i admit hes an idiot however.
    which is already quite a breakthrough for a Republican. Try Kerry for a change, his politics will only be marignally different, but he is not an idiot.
    "I find the whole business of religion profoundly interesting, but it does mystify me that otherwise intelligent people take it seriously." Douglas Adams

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blue Supra
    Hes a tosser, Kerry better bloddy win!
    You got that right I feel sorry for his daughters, just imagine knowing that most of the world calls your dad and idiot.
    "NEVER ALLOW SOMEONE TO BE YOUR PRIORITY, WHILE ALLOWING YOURSELF TO BE THEIR OPTION"

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by taz_rocks_miami
    You got that right I feel sorry for his daughters, just imagine knowing that most of the world calls your dad and idiot.
    They aren't so bright either. I remember one of them in the news cause she was drunk at a party or something, doing drugs.. who knows...

    I mean come on! You are the president's daughter, watch what you do cause it'll be all over the news.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Niko_Fx
    They aren't so bright either. I remember one of them in the news cause she was drunk at a party or something, doing drugs.. who knows...

    I mean come on! You are the president's daughter, watch what you do cause it'll be all over the news.
    You got a good point Niko, I guess the apple never rolls far from the tree...or something like that.
    "NEVER ALLOW SOMEONE TO BE YOUR PRIORITY, WHILE ALLOWING YOURSELF TO BE THEIR OPTION"

  13. #13
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    The website I got this from has all sorts of great stuff, includings tons of "Bushisms".

    Here's a scary Bush quote, "THE LEGISLATURE'S JOB IS TO WRITE LAW. IT'S THE EXECUTIVE BRANCH'S JOB TO INTERPRET LAW."

    Our president failed political science!!!!!

    And here's a funny one, "THE MOST IMPORTANT JOB IS NOT TO BE GOVERNOR, OR FIRST LADY IN MY CASE."
    VIVA FERRARI!!!!!!

    "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy!" ~ Benjamin Franklin

    If everything's under control, you're going too slow ~ Mario Andretti

    "We can't stop here! This is bat country!" ~ [U]Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas: A Savage Journey into the Heart of the American Dream[/U]

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ferrari Tifosi
    The website I got this from has all sorts of great stuff, includings tons of "Bushisms".

    Here's a scary Bush quote, "THE LEGISLATURE'S JOB IS TO WRITE LAW. IT'S THE EXECUTIVE BRANCH'S JOB TO INTERPRET LAW."

    Our president failed political science!!!!!

    And here's a funny one, "THE MOST IMPORTANT JOB IS NOT TO BE GOVERNOR, OR FIRST LADY IN MY CASE."
    That's funny Great thread man!!
    "NEVER ALLOW SOMEONE TO BE YOUR PRIORITY, WHILE ALLOWING YOURSELF TO BE THEIR OPTION"

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Niko_Fx
    They aren't so bright either. I remember one of them in the news cause she was drunk at a party or something, doing drugs.. who knows...

    I mean come on! You are the president's daughter, watch what you do cause it'll be all over the news.
    Who cares if she's drunk, why can't she be drunk ? She's human after all (I hope..). The branch of the world media that spends their time writing stories about these kinds of things are the lowest of the low.

    But I do hate Bush with a passion

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