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Thread: Automotive idiot stories...

  1. #436
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    As a teenager lots of us hopped up our Mustangs and Camaros. There was a guy in our shop class who was a little behind, not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Borrowed some tools to work on his car, said he was putting on new headers, hi-rise manifold and a honking big carb. Had his manual (with pictures!), it would be an afternoon job, we'd all see/hear in the school parking lot "tomorrow". Called a couple of days later complaining my torque wrench was faulty, it had snapped 3 studs on the manifold. While bolting the carb on. After a few questions like "why the f&*k would you torque a carb on" and "after the first one broke, why did you continue and break 2 more?" he insisted the manual had given all the correct ratings.

    It took over an hour to explain to him the difference between "lbs/in" and "lbs/ft".

    A few weeks later he called for help, confused why his engine wouldn't start and made funny sounds while cranking after installing a performance camshaft. It's a pretty easy job on a Chevy, but it was (not) a surprise that he had indexed it 180 degrees off, bending every pushrod.

    Same guy a couple of years later had a minor accident after bleeding his brakes. Yup, stripped the left rear bleeder by cross-threading it. "Well, it was in tight and wasn't leaking when I finished". Luckily, he wasn't on the road, and only hit his dad's car in his own driveway after going around the block to be sure everything was working.... which, of course, wasn't. The bleeder had ejected after a couple of stops leaving a nice trail of brake fluid.

    In the 1980s he worked for a few years as a parts and service writer at a local dealership. Seriously.
    '62 356S Notchback Hotrod
    '64 VW Microbus 21 Deluxe
    '67 911S Das Geburtstagsgeschenk
    '68 911T Targa Sporto
    '68 Mercedes 280 SL
    '62 BMW 700 Sport
    '63 BMW 700 Cabriolet
    '72 BMW 3.0CSL
    '72 BMW 3.0CSA
    '70 914/6 GT

  2. #437
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    ^^ That post alone is why I decided to go to automotive school. Never again will I have to rely on someone who may or may not know wtf they are doing to my car.
    [O o)O=\x/=O(o O]

    The things we do for girls who won't sleep with us.

    Patrick says:
    dads is too long so it wont fit
    so i took hers out
    and put mine in

  3. #438
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    Quote Originally Posted by jump15vc
    since the engine doesn't hold gas
    Thank you for getting the point. To me, mabye you guys are a lot more lenient, air to fuel mixture and fuel alone are quite different. Not that that was the point, they point was an engine does not hold gas.
    Last edited by Mr.Tiv; 10-13-2006 at 01:58 PM.
    Go n-ithe an cat thu, is go n-ithe an diabhal an cat

    When you go Home, Tell them for us and say 'For your tommorrow, We Gave Our Today.'

  4. #439
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quiggs
    ^^ That post alone is why I decided to go to automotive school. Never again will I have to rely on someone who may or may not know wtf they are doing to my car.
    I'm going to call you whenever my car breaks down. Which is never.

  5. #440
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    Lies, it's a GeeEmm. It's always broken.
    [O o)O=\x/=O(o O]

    The things we do for girls who won't sleep with us.

    Patrick says:
    dads is too long so it wont fit
    so i took hers out
    and put mine in

  6. #441
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quiggs
    Lies, it's a GeeEmm. It's always broken.
    Coming from a Volkswagen driver is [see image below].

    Attached Images Attached Images

  7. #442
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    That stings.
    [O o)O=\x/=O(o O]

    The things we do for girls who won't sleep with us.

    Patrick says:
    dads is too long so it wont fit
    so i took hers out
    and put mine in

  8. #443
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quiggs
    That stings.
    Yeah, speaking of which, some kid in my lab class accidentally rubbed his eye when he had HCl (HydroChloric Acid) on his finger. LOL @ n00b who almost went blind.

  9. #444
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rockefella
    Yeah, speaking of which, some kid in my lab class accidentally rubbed his eye when he had HCl (HydroChloric Acid) on his finger. LOL @ n00b who almost went blind.
    What a jackass.
    Go n-ithe an cat thu, is go n-ithe an diabhal an cat

    When you go Home, Tell them for us and say 'For your tommorrow, We Gave Our Today.'

  10. #445
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rockefella
    Yeah, speaking of which, some kid in my lab class accidentally rubbed his eye when he had HCl (HydroChloric Acid) on his finger. LOL @ n00b who almost went blind.
    yeah in the 8th grade some idiot tried to destroy the teacher's tool by pouring hydrochloric acid on it. Nothing was damaged.
    I'm dropping out to create a company that starts with motorcycles, then cars, and forty years later signs a legendary Brazilian driver who has a public and expensive feud with his French teammate.

  11. #446
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    Quote Originally Posted by kingofthering
    yeah in the 8th grade some idiot tried to destroy the teacher's tool by pouring hydrochloric acid on it. Nothing was damaged.
    Awesome! (barring the fact that he failed)

    I hated my 8th grade lab/science teacher.. I still want her dead. She is quite good looking though.

  12. #447
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rockefella
    Awesome! (barring the fact that he failed)

    I hated my 8th grade lab/science teacher.. I still want her dead. She is quite good looking though.
    Sophomore year. Biology. Hotsauce teacher. What made it even better was that her exhusband was also a teacher at the school. They had them in classes as far apart as they could physically put them.
    [O o)O=\x/=O(o O]

    The things we do for girls who won't sleep with us.

    Patrick says:
    dads is too long so it wont fit
    so i took hers out
    and put mine in

  13. #448
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    I heard in English from a teacher that there used to be a teacher that would come in drunk.

    this is a bit random but i once sold gas to some guy who smelled like alcohol.
    I'm dropping out to create a company that starts with motorcycles, then cars, and forty years later signs a legendary Brazilian driver who has a public and expensive feud with his French teammate.

  14. #449
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    Quote Originally Posted by csl177
    In the 1980s he worked for a few years as a parts and service writer at a local dealership. Seriously.
    That is the place all crap mechanics go, well, that or teaching. Annoyingly it also gives them a better chance of promotion than a highly skilled mechanic working at the same garage.
    PPC - Put a V8 in it!

  15. #450
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    Quote Originally Posted by h00t_h00t
    That is the place all crap mechanics go, well, that or teaching. Annoyingly it also gives them a better chance of promotion than a highly skilled mechanic working at the same garage.
    Writers, managers, and the majority of instructors at my school are all in those jobs because they're older and don't have the will or ability to keep turning wrenches. The average tech only lasts about 12-15 years actually fixing cars. Then they move to something bigger, like service work or even working for a manufacturer doing warranty repair inspection or diagnostics.

    The guys who don't know what they're doing wash out in the first 2 years.
    [O o)O=\x/=O(o O]

    The things we do for girls who won't sleep with us.

    Patrick says:
    dads is too long so it wont fit
    so i took hers out
    and put mine in

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