The OFFICIAL Nissan Skyline Bullsh!t Thread!

[LandQuail]

Whats the difference between a redneck and a hillbillie?

Geography, for one thing. It's not bullshit. It's a pair of cultures and world views diametrically opposed, though inextricably tied in parts of the American South.

George W. embodies most of what rednecks hold dear, the good-old-boy 'my daddy used to be so-and-so' rise to power, the gratuitous (and I'm beginning to suspect intentional) misuse of language when he surely knows better, the endless parade of striped, button-up collared shirts and cowboy boots.

With hillbillies, think more of a William Faulkner sort of mindset. Simple, honest, prone to extended brooding and slow anger before getting drunk and seeking revenge. Hillbillies are actually a bit like hippies, except without all the celebration of freedom. Freedom comes naturally and is taken as a given with hillbillies.

I actually wrote a rather lengthy paper on the subject in a Southern Literature class a couple years ago while studying Faulkner. When, in another class, we got to James Joyce, I found many of the same hallmarks of the hillbilly/rednick relationship in Portrait of an Artist and Dubliners, though Finnegan's Wake is, as even a Joyce Scholar admitted candidly in one class, utterly impenatrable, and only a fool would claim to understand it.


Oh, yeah, uhhhhhmmm. Skylines, Skylines, umm. Yeah, a Skyline was outfitted with a larger turbo and beefed-up half shafts to set an unprecedented record recently.
Using a series of whistles, calls and clicks transmitted from an experienced shepherd to a cockpit-mounted speaker, a Welsh sheepdog, sitting on several thick phonebooks and operating the three pedals via wooden blocks lashed to them, was able to lap the 'Ring in 48 minutes, 17 seconds, simultaneously herding 50 head of fine sheep around the 14-mile circuit without losing one in gravel traps or through gaps in the armaco.

BMW plans a similar assault to steal the record back from Nissan. In 1988, BMW set a record of 35 sheep in 107 minutes 33 seconds using an unskilled, but charismatic and famously lucky pig driving a 525is.

A purpose-bred German Shepherd is being rigorously trained for the record attempt by Walter Rorl at an undisclosed location within Bavaria. The canine will pilot a specially prepared car yet to be revealed by Alpina, who is working in conjunction with PETA to develop a set of what Rorl described as "squeaky toy-like contols" aimed at giving the dog "a greater sense of connectivity, allowing for an integration of beast and machine." Hopefully, this will allow it to keep the sheep on a constant gallop — smashing the Nissan Skyline/Welsh sheepdog record by a projected 11 minutes. "It's the final solution" one source close to BMW leadership said Wednesday.

However, with Nissan's new GTR due to hit European shores within the year, don't count on the Nurburgring Dogs Driving Cars Herding Sheep record standing long.

[LandQuail]

Also, HUGE shout-out to my old buddy What. What's up, WHAT! LOL FMR WTF

[Pando]

Your post actually made me lol, your writing is very fluent, keep it up!

[-What-]

LOL FMR WTF

I'm not up to date on internet jive. What does FMR mean?

[The_Canuck]

I'm not up to date on internet jive. What does FMR mean?

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=FMR

Best I could do...

[LandQuail]

F•ck me running.

[h00t_h00t]

A hillbilly term, or is it red-neck?

While were on the topic, where do hicks come into it?

[kingofthering]

I actually wrote a rather lengthy paper on the subject in a Southern Literature class a couple years ago while studying Faulkner. When, in another class, we got to James Joyce, I found many of the same hallmarks of the hillbilly/rednick relationship in Portrait of an Artist and Dubliners, though Finnegan's Wake is, as even a Joyce Scholar admitted candidly in one class, utterly impenatrable, and only a fool would claim to understand it.


Oh, yeah, uhhhhhmmm. Skylines, Skylines, umm. Yeah, a Skyline was outfitted with a larger turbo and beefed-up half shafts to set an unprecedented record recently.
Using a series of whistles, calls and clicks transmitted from an experienced shepherd to a cockpit-mounted speaker, a Welsh sheepdog, sitting on several thick phonebooks and operating the three pedals via wooden blocks lashed to them, was able to lap the 'Ring in 48 minutes, 17 seconds, simultaneously herding 50 head of fine sheep around the 14-mile circuit without losing one in gravel traps or through gaps in the armaco.

BMW plans a similar assault to steal the record back from Nissan. In 1988, BMW set a record of 35 sheep in 107 minutes 33 seconds using an unskilled, but charismatic and famously lucky pig driving a 525is.

A purpose-bred German Shepherd is being rigorously trained for the record attempt by Walter Rorl at an undisclosed location within Bavaria. The canine will pilot a specially prepared car yet to be revealed by Alpina, who is working in conjunction with PETA to develop a set of what Rorl described as "squeaky toy-like contols" aimed at giving the dog "a greater sense of connectivity, allowing for an integration of beast and machine." Hopefully, this will allow it to keep the sheep on a constant gallop — smashing the Nissan Skyline/Welsh sheepdog record by a projected 11 minutes. "It's the final solution" one source close to BMW leadership said Wednesday.

However, with Nissan's new GTR due to hit European shores within the year, don't count on the Nurburgring Dogs Driving Cars Herding Sheep record standing long.

Won't be long until we have the Nissan Skyline GT-R MAKE FUNS HAPPY SEXTIME WITH DOG AND CAT DRIVING DRIFTING MACHINE FOR LOVEYTIME
edition.

As for Finnegan's Wake, it's supposed to be written as if you were in a dream. Or on some heavy drugs.

[LandQuail]

As for Finnegan's Wake, it's supposed to be written as if you were in a dream. Or on some heavy drugs.

Or just really, really, really Irish.

I have no idea where FMR came from. I've heard it all my life — it's even made a surprising appearance in a movie or two. It's common in north central Arkansas, where it is generally regarded as the worst way to be F'd; even as you attempt to run away... Unsettling.

It's picked up in the more civilized areas of central Arkansas, where I live now, though I suspect it's been introduced by myself and a dozen or so of my high school classmates who came here for college and settled down.

My all-time favorite southern expression, though, was uttered by an old neighbor of mine who was an arch-redneck. His dualley had twin smokestacks, for godsakes.

As an old girlfriend of mine drove past our shared driveway as he and I were sitting on a bench drinking beer, he said, 'I'll bet she's got some big ole' titties.'

'Not really,' I said.

'Awww, I bet she's got titties like two panthers in a gunny sack,' he said without a hint of humor or irony, clearly tapping into some portion of the human brain we quit using when we climbed down from trees.

I've spent many hours trying to figure out how that one makes any sense at all, but I challenge anybody to say that one to somebody with a straight face.

[LandQuail]

Top Ten Items Found Under the Seats of Nissan Skylines:

10. Forged dyno readings looking suspiciously like Magic Marker and lacking a torque curve.
9. Crude homemade techno CDs with Paul Oakenfold labels pasted to them.
8. Pie crusts, oddly enough.
7. Dehydrated ravers.
6. Movie ticket stubs to — you guessed it, 4-Fast, 4-Furious.
5. Black hair dye, used to make the driver look, at a glance, Japanese.
4. Manga comics with crude penises drawn in.

Oh, hell. I don't have time for this. I'm sure somebody can fill in the final three. Anyway, the Skyline — occasional devestating image problem aside — is a car that embodies a great deal of what we all love about cars. Shouldn't we be attacking the cooling puddle of blue duckshit that is the Mitsubishi 3000 GT VR4 and its mindless legion of followers instead?

[kingofthering]

3. usernames for every car forum known to man
2. Crudely disguised N20 tank that's actually a fire extinguisher.

[P4g4nite]

1. Spare spray cans of primer.

[LandQuail]

I had a good one the other day... can't remember it now.