Is this our America?

[offroad_sport]

Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the
back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy
cigarettes and candy bars at the front.

Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and
a diet coke. While contemplating surgery for being to fat.

Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens
to the counters. Plus hire a rent a cop with a gun that would make Barney
Fife look like Dirty Harry.

Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the
driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in ! America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in
packages of eight. Don't forget screws in three's and nails by the dozen.

Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process
so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking
creatures'.

Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille
lettering.

EVER WONDER ...

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors and lawyers call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid
made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't
they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

[AM DB5]

what is all this about?

[B@$TARD]

what does that have to do with cars?

[QuattroMan]

dude get a life please! stop stereotyping America, you should go see whats going on other countries before you post this thread...

[offroad_sport]

Dude, RELAX! Its just some interesting commentary im not trying to stereotype america. you dont need to school me on whats going on in other countries, i know perfectly well, mister american pride.

[Rockefella]

relax guys.... i found this thread to be pretty cool, and funny at the same time.

[AM DB5]

wat dus it have to do with cars tho!!

[Sweeney921]

wat dus it have to do with cars tho!!

stfu. it's in the miscellaneous forum.

not a single one of your posts is of any kind of quality. every post you have made has been either biased, or pointless

[QuattroMan]

Dude, RELAX! Its just some interesting commentary im not trying to stereotype america. you dont need to school me on whats going on in other countries, i know perfectly well, mister american pride.

there is nothing positive about this thread my friend,but we do have some people there just complete jacks, they like to over do things and this is true most countries not just here,this is what I'm trying to get through that is all... oh! "mister American pride." I like that

[SPHFerrari]

QUATTRO! its a damn joke. they say you need to learn to laugh at yourself to laugh at anything. this isnt meant to be serious and say we suck, its a joke.

i thought these were pretty funny, except two that were stupid.

1. the one about sterilizing the needle before the lethal injection. have you ever witnessed the lethal injection being administered? i havent. i doubt they do that and how the hell would most people know? if you can get me proof that they do that ill back off

2. the one about making planes out of the same stuff as a black box. the first annoying thing is that that joke is soo damn comon it isnt funny at all anymore. also, it might become quite heavy and hard to fly if they did that.

but seriously quattro, not everyone is trying to bash america. there are these little quips that entail humor and are supposed to cause a reaction that brings out this thing called laughter. if you did not find this funny, then just dont say anything. people like you who get mad at jokes like this are whats causing our country to have to become sopolitically correct. AND I HATE IT!!

offroad_sport, you just kinda complicated things by saying it was interesting commentary. ITS NOT EVEN THAT, its a joke and thats all you need to back you up. Quattro is just a little sensitive after another thread (and dont say im america bashing and biased, i live here too)

when did "Mister American Pride" become a derogatory term? i would proudly wear the title "Mister American Pride". I am very proud of my country.

AMDB5, as Sweeny covered it pretty well, its called miscellaneous. weve had things that go as far off topic as "what is your favorite type of cheese". i fail to see how you can have the nerve to criticize someone for misusing the site when you have still single digit post count. its not like youve got a lot of experience on UCP to say what you are supposed to post.

[deffenbaugh03]

Yea i'm american and these jokes don't offend me at all, they make me laugh. Last year in history class my teacher shared these jokes with us, honestly no country is perfect, i'm sure you could find jokes like these about other countries too.

[AM DB5]

sweeney u r a complete wanker. ur like a stench following me. jus go away or summin

[AM DB5]

it doesnt hav nething to do with cars tho

[NoOne]

it doesnt hav nething to do with cars tho

This is the miscellaneous forum, its about everything and not just cars.

[SPHFerrari]

sweeney u r a complete wanker. ur like a stench following me. jus go away or summin

man shut up!!! i wish, and many others probably do too, that you would go away. you have not a single quality post, i checked. btw, theres no way youve got an aston. i think you should just leave, youve been an ass your whole time here and you cant redeem yourself so just get the hell out of here. i dont mean to be harsh, but really! only 3 of your posts are not bashing something or someone. and several of your posts should have been one, you need to learn to hit the edit button and add not to just post again, thats called being a post whore.