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  #331  
Old 09-08-2007, 05:24 AM
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Originally Posted by Matra et Alpine View Post
Doug glad some things are working out and praying that the rest don't cause to much discomfort for Terry (or you).
The work's the right choice and I went through the same deliberations when I stopped working to look after my father in his last 2 years. Our family comae ahead of our own comfort, careers and egos. Love is much more worthy anyway Don't fret it. Enjoy life.
The living will is a double-edged sword but concur it's the "best" thing to do.
It can also bring you closer together as those things hard to talk about are in the open. Again, personally the last 3 months of my dad's life were easier for making the decision not to allow rescusitation. It doesn't help in those last 10 minutes tho Nothing can.
Best wishes to Terry and yourself.
What Matra said Doug, hope Terry regains some quality of life back, so you can both enjoy it. Hopefully a kidney becomes available so dialysis isnt needed anymore. Terry has made a courageous decision in regard to the living will, hopefully it wont come to that. My prays are with Terry and your family Doug although it seems like the situation is on the improve

Kind regards
John
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  #332  
Old 09-08-2007, 05:49 AM
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I don't know how you remain so upbeat- a testament to your good nature, I s'pose. Terry will be more likely to get better (well, as much as is humanly possible) with someone like you around. A little love goes a long way, you're giving a lot! All the best Doug. Keep us posted, I want a story with a happy ending.
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  #333  
Old 09-24-2007, 02:05 AM
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It’s a girl!!!

One way of getting through tough times is to set goals, which Terry is doing. One of those goals which she set for herself in rehab in March, was to see the birth of her 4th grandchild. She made it!!

Generally, Terry has been on a fairly stable plateaux for the last few weeks and hasn’t dipped below the ‘critical’ line since that horrid week at the end of August. Dialysis has been going better but she’s on the limit of how much fluid they can remove in 2 sessions a week and the spectre of 3 a week is looming.

She’s been off the immuno-suppressants for a couple of weeks now and we’ve seen a slight improvement in the strength of her skin. It doesn’t tear as easily and bruises heal quicker. The dosage of the last of these nasties, cortisone, has been halved and hopefully it will be safe to stop it altogether soon. The doc forgot to tell her kidney however, it's still showing signs of life and sending her to the toilet a couple of times a day. We may have to beat it to death with a stick.

Terry’s next goal is my early retirement. Looks like everything is on track for end November. Wrote out a cheque to settle my car and will do the same for my house before month end, to get rid of monthly money drains. Another goal is to enjoy this summer and Christmas, the last one was blanked out and she didn’t even know it was happening.

Just waiting for a long-lost cousin of Terry’s who emigrated to Oz and is out here for a couple of weeks, to come visit today. Terry is excited and even. painfully but successfully, did some baking for the occasion.

Relative of course, but currently, life is great.
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  #334  
Old 09-24-2007, 02:25 AM
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I was a bit afraid when I saw this thread active again. I feared for the worse. But I'm happy to see that there appears to be be some kind of light at the end of this tunnel. And off course congratulations with your 4th grandchild.

I hope your wifes health keeps improving. I wish you all the best.
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  #335  
Old 09-24-2007, 02:26 AM
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Nice to hear some more good news Doug and hope it continues.
How long a trip for dialysis ? Is home an option if it goes to 3 ?
Good that early retirement is working out - always nice feeling to pay off the house isn't it Early days, but think about how you can spend a few hours a week using those skills for some extra cash -- coz Terry will be bored by your poor jokes if you don't give her some peace
Pics ?? More importantly ..... how do we get some of Terry's baking
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  #336  
Old 09-24-2007, 04:55 AM
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Congratulations of the addition to your family - and it's good to see Terry was there to get to know her 4th grandchild.

It's good to see that you guys are settling down after such a traumatic couple of months - it must be nice not having anything to report

and who knows - perhaps the drugs were holding the kidney back, and it might come to life?
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  #337  
Old 09-24-2007, 12:24 PM
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Good to hear that and best of luck to your family!
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  #338  
Old 10-04-2007, 01:17 AM
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Things are pretty good atm. Terry drove her car solo yesterday and went shopping, for only the 2nd time since dark December. Took her almost 4 hours for a greengrocer and Spar and I had to take her to another shop when I got home, but hey, it's massive progress!

She's being given massive doses of iron and stuff for anemia at the dialysis sessions and they give her a big boost. Water removal is a delicate balancing act with the absolute max target being 4l. With Terry they aim at 3l but usually her blood pressure plummets, she loses her lunch and almost passes out, the machine throws an alarm wobbly and the techs have to urgently pump in saline to rapidly boost the pressure. The saline causes the anemia. 2 to 2.5 l is about the best they can do, which is not really enough.

Nevertheless, her saw-tooth health graph now spikes after dialysis and drops to the next one like it should, whereas before it plummeted after dialysis and recovered partially to the next one, overall trend downwards. The overall trend is upwards now.

She caught her leg hard on something last night, screamed in pain and with horror and dread we pulled up her pants leg, expecting to see peeled back skin, ripped flesh and loads of blood. Nothing, just an abrasion like any normal person. She's been off immuno-suppressants for a month and a half and already her skin is toughening. Even her voice is strengthening (vocal chords badly damaged by the ventilator tube). I guess I can look forward to being yelled at again, what a pleasure!

It's official, I shall be unemployed (and unemployable), from end November. Paid off the car and house, so no debts, just expenses. Being retired is all I could think off the past few days, sitting for hours in traffic at all the rain-induced out of order robots (traffic lights). I believe the money will cover in the short term, as to the longer term I don't know. I'm not the type to take a leap of faith but hey, it's not like there were good alternatives.

I must acknowledge the Dementia Forum who flipped a bird at my repeated protests that nothing was needed and collected to give Terry a gift, presenting me with a coup de grace. Terry has made a date with daughter 2, Cheryl, to go shopping on Saturday with the vouchers. If there's anything left by the time NFS Pro Street is released in November, there may well be a case of intra-marital embezzlement.

To answer some queries:

There will never be another kidney. SA has a points system that steers all available kidneys towards otherwise healthy, young, recipients with the best chance of a long life. The only reason Terry got a kidney in the 1st place was that it was a family member donation (her niece).

Her dialysis is far too complex for 'home application'. Takes about 5 hours overall, with 4 hours on the machine.

The kidney can never recover. Any damage is mostly permanent.

Terry will never be bored by my jokes and is looking forward to my retirement as if it was a holiday. Little does she know........

Terry will never allow pics anymore, but meet my grand daughter Mishca:
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  #339  
Old 10-04-2007, 02:55 AM
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Fantastic news Doug, hope things keep improving. Now your retired you can devote all your time to your brave wife and your new beautiful granddaughter, shes lovely
Congrats Doug and keep happy

Cheers
John
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  #340  
Old 10-04-2007, 03:18 AM
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Good to hear things are going well, I always get slightly apprehensive when I see a new update from you Doug! Hope she just keeps on improving, you two sound like you need each other.
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  #341  
Old 10-05-2007, 06:25 AM
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You have a beautiful Grand daughter

and a fantastic story to tell her about her brave, strong Grandmother, and how you gave her strength when she needed it.

and it's good to See Terry on her feet and doing what she loves - spending your money
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  #342  
Old 10-05-2007, 11:22 AM
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I'm happy (and the UCP community as well) to hear good progress with her health.
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  #343  
Old 11-29-2007, 02:04 PM
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Well, it's done, I pencilled in on my calendar today "END CAREER" and told the boss I'm not coming in tomorrow. I'll have to re-arrange my cupboard, push my working clothes to the back and make room for my cute new nurses outfits. Dunno whether to go with a harsh masochistic cotton or maybe lycra or even leather, what you think?

No more blue Mondays, TGIF's, yellow-lining taxi's or Jo'burgs increasingly infamous out-of-order traffic lights and traffic jams for me.

Terry is overjoyed to have me home full time, I suspect that may fade a bit with time.

Terry is fortunately keeping pretty stable and staying clear of the red-alarm line. Her legs are a problem and we're fighting to keep them working. Trying some new treatments atm and the doc is hopeful.

So, we enter a new and final phase of our lives, where the "until death us do part" part of our marriage vows kicks in. No idea how long this phase will be but we shall make the most of it.
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  #344  
Old 11-29-2007, 02:34 PM
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Good on you Doug and best of luck in your future with Terry.
In the Scots dialect, your grand daughter is "a wee stoatir"


Sorry Terry, this is the image his post created for me
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  #345  
Old 11-29-2007, 02:39 PM
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Thats great Doug, now you can spend some time with Terry, you may be right though after a few months she may be scouring the employment advertisments for you.


Im a fan of Lycra, but it depends what nick your bodies in. Dont be a tight ass get Terry a young nubile 25yo male nurse, she deserves some eye candy

On a serious note great to hear your both coping well,

Hope you both have a happy,safe and relaxing Christmas, New Year holiday, already for next year.

regards
John
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