My wife is brave, and getting well!!!

[IBrake4Rainbows]

We'd certainly be happy to keep her entertained

It's a shame this has happened, a real shame. but by the same token you have both made a real go of it and made the best of what can only be described as a S***ty situation, and through everything you've both had each other, which i think is truly a beautiful thing.

Chin up guys, the fights not over yet

[Doug_Dread]

My wife is in Intensive Care........ again........ but this is only as a precaution after her op to insert the permanent dialysis catheter in her neck. You can't see it though, they insert it in the chest and tunnel upwards under the skin to the neck where it's inserted into a major vein.

She's ok but overcome with stark, blind terror at finding herself back in the ICU environment. They finally kicked me out and I went cruising the empty streets to find somewhere open so I could have a quiet dinner and recharge.

She'll have her 1st dialysis tomorrow and then finally I can take her home and start all over again, working at smoothing her ragged nerves and maybe even bringing a smile back to her face.

Btw, The daughter's boyfriend was discharged a couple of days ago. The doc's still don't know what happened but he knows he has a problem that will require further investigation and treatment. He doesn't have a medical aid so the hospital bundled him out of there as quick as possible, before actually diagnosing the problem.

[IBrake4Rainbows]

bringing a smile back to such a beautiful soul as Terry should be a rewarding experience for you both

[Doug_Dread]

Soz about the silence, thanks for asking mate. (PM)

Life is going up and down so quickly, it's like driving over a rumble strip. Overall, Terry's done ok since her last hospital stint but it cost her.

Her strength and endurance are down and we've had to bring the wheelchair and walker out of retirement. Some really bad periods of pain from cracked ribs has seen the Morphine come out of retirement too. Despite protests, she's only skipped 1 dialysis session so far.

Yesterday, she got up from her chair, stepped skew and heard the snap of a bone in her foot. The sharp pain and inability of her foot to take her weight caused her to fall. Fortunately, nothing else broke. I took her for X-rays and we're waiting to hear from the doc if she needs a cast.

There have been several periods of depression of the "Please, no more!" kind, but I'm constantly amazed how she bounces back. Spent most of the long weekend just going out, anywhere, Harties, War Museum, lunches, dinners, shops, just letting her focus outwards. She went to dialysis without a fight today.

Taking daughter/birthday girl and her SO (still on crutches), out to dinner tonight. Should be cheerful.

Slippery slopes but we keep at it, what else can we do.

[IBrake4Rainbows]

Chin up guys

She's a fighter, this one, i've no doubt that any downward stint you guys are having at the moment will soon be replaced by an equivalent Upward stroke.

give Terry and your family our regards - we're still thinking of you guys

[Matra et Alpine]

[McReis]

Same words from here! A live with a little dependence is better then no life at all. Ad being with you and the rest of the family must be always good.

[Doug_Dread]

We were both flattened by a really nasty flu last weekend and feebly managed to help each other through it. Haven't felt so awful in decades.

To make matters worse, I had to fly out of town on business on Monday.

Bloody hell! What a week! We were both still feeling crap from the flue on Monday but stable and seemingly improving, so I got on the plane, hoping to be fit to start work on Tuesday and that Terry would continue to feel better, as I was.

I'd no sooner arrived on Monday night, when Terry called me to say she was feeling really awful, like that night in December that she collapsed, and it was getting worse by the minute. She was really afraid and said she didn't want to go to sleep because she did not know if she would wake up again and she didn't want to die alone. I spent Monday evening on the phone, organising my son to spend the night with her, the doctor to see her at dialysis on Tuesday and the chemist to instantly deliver whatever the doctor prescribed. The situation at home eventually stabilised.

I optimised my work so I could leave early but I found that once the airlines have you by the balls, they won't let go. I spent hours sitting at the airport on "standby" because all the flights back were full, watching all the gold and silver 'Voyager' flyers pitch up whenever they felt like it, jump to the top of the standby queue and fly out. Eventually, I gave up and then, having booked out of my hotel, started scratching for a place to spend the night. After about 20 calls, I located a rather nice B&B who had a room. Finally flew out of there on the 08h00 flight on Thursday.

Spent all afternoon yesterday panelbeating life back into shape at home and thankfully, Terry responded well and is ok for now.

The decision has been taken for me, I'll be applying for early retirement so I can be at Terry's side for the time we have remaining to us. I realise there are probable negative financial implications but I no longer give a hoot, my "work" and looking after Terry must become one and the same thing now.

[IBrake4Rainbows]

Where there is a will, there's a way, Doug.

And judging by both your Will and Terry's determination, a way will surely present itself.

There has been quite a nasty strain of flu going around this time of year actually - some people have died from it here in Australia - so good to see you both got through it reasonably unscathed.

[McReis]

The decision has been taken for me, I'll be applying for early retirement so I can be at Terry's side for the time we have remaining to us. I realise there are probable negative financial implications but I no longer give a hoot, my "work" and looking after Terry must become one and the same thing now.

It makes sense. It will take some pressure of you, make her life easier and she'll have more reasons to enjoy being alive as she will enjoy your continuous presence.

Spent all afternoon yesterday panelbeating life back into shape

Great sentence.

Best wishes for Terry and you!

[Cyco]

As always you continue to demonstrate your amazing love for Terry. With this in mind I thing the short term financial hit will be much more bearable then continuing to work where you don't have the ability to control your time.

Sorry to hear about the illness, but yet again you have both shown your strength to overcome it.

[Doug_Dread]

Sentence has been passed. The doc ordered the taking of 2 of the 3 immuno-suppresents to cease immediately, effectively sentencing Terry's kidney to death. The third is Cortisone which will be phased out slowly, a sudden stop could be deadly to the other organs which are used to functioning with it.

On the bright side, Terry will slowly rebuild her immunity to minor bugs and infections and her tissue paper skin should get stronger and its healing capacity should improve dramatically. Incidently, the last of her leg wounds has closed, no more dressings needed. Another plus, no more standing in long queues at the ladies loo. The only way for fluids to leave her body will be through the dialysis machine.

Terry's had some really bad dialysis sessions recently, leaving her physically and emotionally wiped out. She discussed this with them and it turns out they set the machine to remove Potassium, which most kidney patients have too much of. Terry however, has always suffered from low Potassium and they could have killed her! They changed the machine type, filters and settings and todays session just left her hungry, so out to dinner we went tonight. I hope this trend continues.

An ominous sign is that she has lost feeling in her feet and this sometimes spreads to her lower legs, fingers and hands. It's quite common in kidney failure and longer term dialysis patients, that blood flow to the extremeties weakens and sometimes stops altogether. Then gangrene sets in and the extremeties must be amputated.

I doubt Terry will let things go that far. She insisted I draw up a 'Living Will', also known as a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) order, which she signed today. Another 'December 06' shall never happen again and next time, the awful life or death decision will not be mine to make. It has already been taken.

I heard today that my early retirement proposal was signed as supported by all the necessary levels of management in my company. All that needs to be done now, is for me to obtain, complete and submit the official application paperwork and it should happen. OMG! I'm likely to be unemployed before Christmas!!! Part of me feels like I've won the lottery but the rest of me is having a panic attack! Ever done a calculation a dozen times and got the same unwanted answer, then switched off the calculator and gone ahead anyway? Oh well, I'll just call it my 'leap of faith'.

Anyway, it's been a good day. Full tummys, drowsy and all mellowed out after a good evening out. Tomorrow belongs to tomorrow.

[NSXType-R]

Well, good to hear that you're a very faithful husband to your wife and you've stuck to her ever since this whole mess started.

I wish the best to you and your family.

When she gets stronger, I hope that you will be able to find a suitable kidney for her use so that she doesn't need to do dialysis.

[Matra et Alpine]

Doug glad some things are working out and praying that the rest don't cause to much discomfort for Terry (or you).
The work's the right choice and I went through the same deliberations when I stopped working to look after my father in his last 2 years. Our family comae ahead of our own comfort, careers and egos. Love is much more worthy anyway Don't fret it. Enjoy life.
The living will is a double-edged sword but concur it's the "best" thing to do.
It can also bring you closer together as those things hard to talk about are in the open. Again, personally the last 3 months of my dad's life were easier for making the decision not to allow rescusitation. It doesn't help in those last 10 minutes tho Nothing can.
Best wishes to Terry and yourself.

[IBrake4Rainbows]

It's a bummer things have not gone to plan, but you guys have adapted so well.

Best wishes