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Thread: Hamilton Switches to Brawn GP

  1. #1
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    Hamilton Switches to Brawn GP

    In a surprise statement issued shortly after midnight on this date, the highly competitive Brawn GP team shocked the F1 community by announcing that Lewis Hamilton is switching to the Brackley-based outfit for the remainder of the 2009 season.

    The reigning World Champion will therefore leave the McLaren Mercedes team with immediate effect, and will be wearing the Brawn operation's white overalls at this week-end's Malaysian Grand Prix.

    “It was a logical decision to make when considering the situation both our teams are facing at present,” Ross Brawn stated. “Everyone is very confident in regards to our potential in both the drivers' and constructors' championships.”

    It seems that Brawn GP's current budget, combined with the lack of performance provided by McLaren's new single-seater, provoked an important brainstorming session within the Mercedes camp which ultimately resulted in pushing the daring plan forward and putting the best chances on their side.

    “You have to look at the numbers,” explained Norbert Haug, VP of Mercedes-Benz Motorsports. “By switching Lewis and part of our budget to Brawn – which is already Mercedes-powered – statistically we can manage to win both championships this season.”

    “I know there's only been one race so far this year,” Haug admitted, “but it adds up.



    “This is really a wonderful gesture,” said a smiling Hamilton. “This is the best way for me to help my regular team move forward. With the spotlight on me at Brawn while I win all these races, McLaren don't have to worry about having a World Champion aboard and all that pressure.”

    “Really,” he added, “I don't know why I hadn't thought of this myself!”

    Ron Dennis, Martin Whitmarsh and Anthony Hamilton issued a joint statement which reads: “We have raised this child to be a World Champion again and again... this is a bold step in preserving that goal.”

    The situation means that either Jenson Button or Rubens Barrichello will have to move aside to make place for Hamilton. The decision regarding who will sit in the vacated McLaren car has not yet been made, but the news was obviously badly received.

    “I think not,” said Button. “You see, I'm spotted to be the next Brit F1 star.”

    Reached by phone, Barrichello's response was more direct: “I told them I was through with making way for champions!”

    It is unknown at present if the changes announced today will affect the Brawn team's expected title sponsorship with the Virgin empire, but it has been reported that a portion of the money previously tagged for F1 will now be used to purchase a fleet of small fishing vessels off the coast of Newfoundland.

    Dan B. Fish
    © CAPSIS International

  2. #2
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    I heard he was going to Ferrari today... Of course, I also heard he has two dicks and can shoot lightning out is ass... Hard to know what to believe...
    ...Utah! Get me two...

  3. #3
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    Good one, glad to know it's April first w/o a calender.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by nopassn View Post
    I heard he was going to Ferrari today... Of course, I also heard he has two dicks and can shoot lightning out is ass... Hard to know what to believe...
    He can shoot lightning out of his ass too?
    John says:
    so i had to dump acid into the block tank today
    i'm afraid to fap
    cause i got it on my hands

  5. #5
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    This was as good as last year's Shumacher becoming CEO of Ferrari!

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by baddabang View Post
    He can shoot lightning out of his ass too?
    That's what she said...
    ...Utah! Get me two...

  7. #7
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    April Fools?

  8. #8
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    Nope it's real

  9. #9
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    Damn I have a habit of falling into all these April fool traps...

    Kia Unveils Dramatic Wind-Assisted Aero-Soul - Worldcarfans

    Here's another great one.

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