This is the worst day of my life

[jorismo]

Most of you probably don't care, but since a lot of nice people come here, I think is the best place to tell al this.

So what's the problem, well I feel horrible... This morning I went to school, quite early, just to deliver my teacher a project. So I did all this and walked out the school door around 9.30. And then it happened. Right in front of my eyes this girl from about my age didn't look properly and wanted to cross the street. Unfortunately she didn't see the bus that was comming from her left. I think the bus hit her with around 50 km/h. I can still see her face as I shouted her to watch out... She fell very hard, luckily the bus didn't ran over her. So since I've got my First Aid licence I immediately went to her. I didn't feel any pulse so I started CPR... I did CPR for around 10 minutes (it felt like 10 days), being helped by some other guy.

So when the paramedics arrived and took over, they said we had saved her, since she got a pulse. So I stayed at the place to tell everything to the police, and I thought I did good when the ambulance left for the hospital. As I was still talking to the police, they heard on the radio that the girl again lost her pulse. And that this time there was nothing they could do.

It felt like a died myself. I just burst out in tears... I don't know what to say. In about 15 minutes time I felt from great, to absolutely horrible...

[Ferrer]

First of all to the girls family and friends.

Secondly jorismo you did your best and you didn't leave which honours you. Don't feel bad for her dying, feel good for trying to help her and trying your best. You did you had to do.

[Matra et Alpine]

Being that close and involved in a death will always upset.
I had a similar situation when I was 19 and did as you had too. It was in vain and it affected me badly for a few weeks until I realised what I was being told - that I had done my best and that it gave him a chance but that it didnt' work out.
I suggest you seek counselling asap as it will help you get to grips with the feelings and put them in their proper place.
Talking about it here will also help a little, but not as much as a few hours with a trained trauma counsellor.

Loss is harder when it is so close. WHat you are feeling is perfectly normal and you will learn to understand and cope with it. If you want to, get me on MSN or PM or Skype me.

[Street_Dreamer]

My thoughts go to the girl's family and those close to her

To you Jorismo I can only empathise with what happened, but you did your best and from then it was not in your hands. I would definitely take Matra's advice and seek councelling. But the fact that you managed to even get her breathing again is extraordinary, and as Ferrer said, you did all you could. I just hope you feel better after a little while.

[drakkie]

Being that close and involved in a death will always upset.
I had a similar situation when I was 19 and did as you had too. It was in vain and it affected me badly for a few weeks until I realised what I was being told - that I had done my best and that it gave him a chance but that it didnt' work out.

Me too two years ago. I will never forget it, but I am at rest about it now I guess..

I suggest you seek counselling asap as it will help you get to grips with the feelings and put them in their proper place.
Talking about it here will also help a little, but not as much as a few hours with a trained trauma counsellor.

Loss is harder when it is so close. WHat you are feeling is perfectly normal and you will learn to understand and cope with it. If you want to, get me on MSN or PM or Skype me.

Very good advice and I can really suggest you take it ! If Dutch is easier, you are always welcome to catch me on msn.

[jediali]

My condolances to the girl's friend/family.

I think you where very brave. I hope you can work out your feelings.. We are here to support you.

[pimento]

What everyone else said. Kudos to you jorismo, many men would have simply walked away, or just stood there. The fact that you got in there and did everything possible to save her makes you excellent, so don't feel like you failed at all. You're one of those people that makes the world better, so you should feel good about that.

[McReis]

Damn, that must be hard and painful. You must be feeling frustrated but, from my point of view, you were quite an hero by doing what you should on such a moment. You can only be proud and try to rationalise what you saw and what happened. Unfortunately, that's quite a common thing to happen. If she's somewhere, she must be thankful.

[Clivey]

First of all mate, you're a HERO.

Secondly, some things happen that are just completely out of our control; we're just animals in the same way that a cat or a dog are. At least you gave the girl a chance, nobody (including yourself) can ask any more of you. Although you may be feeling like your insides are being torn apart, you did a wonderful thing, and from the sound of things nobody else in your position could have given anything more.

Instead of using your energy feeling bad about this, think about what you can do to help those even more badly affected than yourself. The family of the girl have to face this loss forever, and the bus driver will probably be feeling horrible, even though the accident wasn't his fault. Although you've already done much more than can reasonably be asked of you, the energy that would otherwise be wasted in feeling terrible can be put to better use - even if that means you help drill the message of real road safety (i.e. common sense) into people.

Once again, you did a great thing; but you're only human like the rest of us and it's only natural to feel this way. Just try to pick-up anything that is to be learned from this and don't waste your energy when it can be put to positive use.

Hope this helps,

Clive.

[TVR IS KING]

You are a hero, well done mate.
When a bad day for me means my friends snobbed me off once or twice and there was no milk left, it really puts it into perspective.

[IBrake4Rainbows]

You did everything in your power to bring that girl back to life. anyone in your shoes would have done the same.

these things happen for a reason - don't beat yourself up about it. I would recommend talking to a trained councilor about it though. i can imagine it being quite a horrible scene - but you had the clear head and training to turn a bad situation into the best that it could be.

I'm proud of you - I think the rest of UCP is as well.

[jorismo]

Well thanks guys... You certainly helped me by listening to me and giving your thought about it. As some of you already said, I think it's better to talk to some people about it. I know some people at the fire department so perhaps they can help me as they have more experience on things like this.

But please, don't call me a hero. Somehow I don't feel like one...

[Vaigra]

My condolences to the girls family and friends.

Joris, I'm proud of you. A lot of people, even those who have done first aid couse would probably not have got involved as they wouldn't have the courage to take charge. You did your best and I'm glad there's people like you out there.

[Suka]

I'm definatly proud of you.

You acted on instict and brought someone back to life, thats amazing.
You gave hope, which is the most valuable thing in this world.
I can't imagine how the events that followed must have effected you since i have never been in that situation, but can appreciate how hard it is for you to get past it. I am sure i speak for everyone when i say we are all here for you to talk to.

[motorsportnerd]

Good on you for doing your best to help her. Most people wouldn't know what to do in that situation. You did all you could. Don't feel bad about it.