2011 Abarth 500.

The most fun I had during the test drive was dodging traffic around Barcelona.

And that's not a good thing.

It all started in the underground car park of the dealer, where the little red scorpion was kept in a sort of small hangar. It looked the part and the saleswoman started it to get it out of where it was being kept (it was quite tight). I was sold. The car looked exciting and sounded the part from the outside. Then once out I was on my own, I could what I wanted with it for the next 30-45 minutes.

The interior is nice, and altough it doesn't the highest quality materials in the world it is not bad. It also had some massive bucket seats which were excellent. The seating position is somewhat odd, though. You seat rather high up and with the gear lever quite high up as well and the steering wheels is one of those preposterous flat-bottomed affairs. It doesn't feel natural, but you get used to it. The inside rear view mirror is quite small, but the exterior ines are quite big and easy to use and overall visibility is good. Considering the size, the interior is quite big, especially in the front seats.

I decided to go to Montjuic, which was the closest place with some corners and lighter traffic. To all of those which the name doesn't tell them anything, Montjuic is the mountain in Barcelona where the course for the fearsome race track used for the Spanish GP lays, and which was abandoned after a F1 car crashed into the public, killing several people, in 1975.

And there the problems started. At first I thought I'd engage Sport mode. It doesn't make much of a difference, except that the stupid shift light which tells you to shift everytime you go past 1500rpm in normal mode goes away. I also tried disengaging the traction control and ESP but I couldn't find any buttons. In its place there was something called TTC, which doesn't seem to make much of a difference.

At first I thought the steering was nice and weighty, but as you push on you actually discover it doesn't tell you what's happening between the wheels and the tarmac much. It's not very informative. The handling is mostly safe, little understeer but not too much lift off tail out malarkey. Unless you get really serious with the middle pedal. Then everything starts to become a bit frisky. The problem is that the transition between safe and delicate is quite abrupt - it doesn't seem to me like a particulalry composed or progressive car to me like a Mini or an MX-5. Ride is firm and a bit bouncy, but actually much more comfortable than I was expecting, maybe thanks in part to the great seats as well.

The engine is much like the unit in the Delta. It's fine and smooth and quite fast considering it advertises 135bhp. If you forget the first 1500-2000rpm you make progress along nicely, and if you aren't careful with the loud pedal you can easily trouble the tyres in first and second. Speaking of which, it isn't particularly loud, this. Remember I said it sounded exciting from the outside? Well I couldn't hear anything from the inside. If anything, it sounds worse than the Delta, which is odd. But the worse thing of all, by far, is the gearbox. There's no other way of saying this, it's awful. The diagonal gear changes (2nd to 3rd and 5th to 4th) are just impossible to do quick. At one point I even found myself in 5th, rather than 3rd, effectively killing the car. If you take a bit more time to change gear everything can be smoothed out, but this a hot hatch not a family car. The clutch though is good, and rev-matching is easy as the engine is willing. It also has a much more improved and far smoother Hill Holder system.

In the end though, what disappointed me most of all is the lack of drama. There's no sense of ocasion. Yes it looks the part, and the interior detailing is great. People look at you when you go past. And it's very loud from the outside. But somewhat it feels like you are providing the spectacle, not enjoying it with all the others. And that's utlimately what kills it. If every drive was an event, I could gloss over the stupid gearbox, the turbo lag, the dead steering, the supid flashing indicators everytime you go near the brake pedal,... But, in standard form at least, this simply doesn't happen.

All in all, it feels more like a Panda GTI than a mini Ferrari. And that simply doesn't cut the mustard here.