It's once again time to review the winners of the annual
StellaAwards.
The Stellas' are named after 81 year old Stella Liebeck who spilled
coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's.
That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous
successful
lawsuits in the United States. Unfortunately the most recent
lawsuit
implicating McDonald's, the teens who allege that eating at
McDonald's
has
made them fat, was filed after the 2003 award voting was
closed.This
suit will top the 2004 awards list without question.
THIS YEAR'S AWARDS GO TO
5TH PLACE (TIED)
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury
of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who
was
running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were
understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the
misbehaving
toddler was Ms.Robertson's Son.
5TH PLACE (TIED)
19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical
expenses
when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr.
Truman
apparently did not notice there was someone at the wheel of the car
when
he was trying to steal the hubcaps.
5TH PLACE (TIED)
Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania was leaving a house he
had
just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get
the
garage door to go up since the automatic door Opener was
malfunctioning.
He could
not re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and
garage
locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation and
Mr.Dickson
found himself locked in the garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a
case of
Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the
homeowner's
insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental
anguish.The
Jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.
4TH PLACE
Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and
medical
expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door
neighbor's
Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced
yard.The
Award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have
been
a
Little provoked at the time as Mr. Williams, who had climbed over
the
fence into the yard, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.
3RD PLACE
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of
Lancaster,
Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke
her
coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson
had
thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier, during an argument.
2ND PLACE
Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a Night Club in
a
neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the
floor and
knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred whilst Ms. Walton
was
trying to sneak in the window of the Ladies Room to avoid paying
the$3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
1ST PLACE
This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City,
Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago
Motorhome.On his
trip home from an OU football game, having driven onto the
freeway,he
set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat
to go
into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly
the RV
left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued
Winnebago
for not advising him in the owner's manual that he could not
actually do
this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago
Motorhome.
The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this
suit
just in case there were any other complete morons buying their
recreational vehicles.