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  #1  
Old 12-22-2004, 08:31 AM
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Karrmann Karrmann is offline
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Yugo jokes!

Yu-go "Beep, Beep, Crunch!"

Yu*go (yoo-go)
n. 1) Small, economical, Yugoslavian-built automobile.
2) 4x4 hood ornament.
adj. 1) What dosen't happen when you press the accelerator.

Q. How do you double the value of a Yugo?
A. Fill the tank with gas! (If it can still hold liquid.)
A. If not, put a gallon of milk in the back seat.

Q. What comes with every Yugo User's Manual?
A. The bus schedule.

What do Yugos have in common with Ferarris?
- A Ferarri can go from 0 to 60 in 4 seconds.
- A Yugo can go from 0 to 4 in 60 seconds.
Actually, a Yugo CAN accelerate as fast as a Ferarri,
...if you give it a fast enough running start, so it clears the cliff's edge...

Q. How do you fix a broken Yugo?
A. 1) Lift off the radiator cap.
2) Push off cliff.
3) and drive brand-new one underneath radiator cap.
(30-mile/3-day warranty included!)

A man entered an auto parts store...
Man: "I need a windshield wiper blade for a Yugo."
Clerk: "Well, only if you throw $20 into the trade."

I once bought a Yugo with a tow package.
...It was in the front.

Q. Why does a Yugo have rear a window defroster?
A. To keep your hands warm as you push it.

Q. What do you call a Yugo at the top of a big hill?
A. A miracle!

Yugos are now much safer and come standard with an air bag.
When you sense an impending accident, start blowing *real fast*
How do you make a Yugo go faster?
A towtruck.

What do you call the shock absorbers inside a Yugo?
Passengers.

Two guys in a Yugo were arrested last night in Oakland following
a push-by shooting incident.

The new Yugo has an air bag. When you sense an impending accident,
start pumping real fast.

A friend went to a dealer the other day and said, "I'd like a gas
cap for my Yugo." The dealer replied, "Okay. Sounds like a fair
trade."

I have also said for years that the car is named because "Yugo,
but it doesn't".

How can you get a Yugo to do 60 miles an hour?
Push it over a cliff.

A man walks into an auto parts store and says,
"I'll take a gas cap for a Yugo"
"Sounds like a fair trade", says the couter worker.

Why do Yugo's have a heater for the back window?
To keep your hands warm when pushing.

Why don't Yugo's sustain much damage in a front-end collision?
The tow truck takes the impact.

How do you double the value of a Yugo?
Fill the tank!

What is found on the last two pages of every Yugo owner's manual?
The bus schedule.

What do you call a Yugo with a flat tire?
Totalled.
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  #2  
Old 12-22-2004, 08:37 AM
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Karrmann Karrmann is offline
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some more.

How do you make a Yugo go faster?
A towtruck.

What do you call the shock absorbers inside a Yugo?
Passengers.

Two guys in a Yugo were arrested last night in Oakland following a push-by shooting incident.

The new Yugo has an air bag. When you sense an impending accident, start pumping real fast.

A friend went to a dealer the other day and said, "I'd like a gas cap for my Yugo." The dealer replied, "Okay. Sounds like a fair trade."

I have also said for years that the car is named because "Yugo, but it doesn't".

How can you get a Yugo to do 60 miles an hour?
Push it over a cliff.

A man walks into an auto parts store and says, "I'll take a gas cap for a Yugo" "Sounds like a fair trade", says the couter worker.
Why do Yugo's have a heater for the back window?
To keep your hands warm when pushing.

Why don't Yugo's sustain much damage in a front-end collision?
The tow truck takes the impact.

How do you double the value of a Yugo?
Fill the tank!

What is found on the last two pages of every Yugo owner's manual?
The bus schedule.

What do you call a Yugo with a flat tire?
Totalled.



Q: How do you upgrade a Yugo car?
A: Put in an engine.
A. "TRADE IT FOR A TRABBIE" (the late great Roosian "people's car")
A. "PARK IT NEXT TO A PORTAJOHN.....AND LEAVE IT UNLOCKED"
A. "CRUSH IT AND USE IT FOR TRACTION BALLAST IN YOUR BIG DOG 4X4 PICKEMUP TRUCK"
Q: Why do Yugos have heated rear windows?
A: To keep your hands warm when you're pushing them.

Q: How do you make accelerate a Yugo from 0 to 100 km in 10 seconds?
Q. What's the difference between a Yugo and the principal's office?
A. It's less embarrassing if your friends see you leaving the principal's
office.

Q: What goes on pages 4-5 of the Yugo user's manual?
A: The train & bus schedule.

A man goes to a parts garage:
Man: "Can I have a windshield wiper for a Yugo please?"
Parts man: "Yeah, that seems like a fair swap."

Q: What is the sport-version of Yugo?
A: The driver wears Nike shoes.

Q: What do you call a Yugo at the top of a hill?
A: A miracle.

Q: What do you call two Yugos at the top of a hill?
A: A mirage.

Q: What do you call a Yugo with dual exhausts?
A: A wheelbarrow

Q: How do you double the value of a Yugo?
A: Half fill it with gasoline!

Q: How do you make a Yugo look good?
A: Park it between two Cadillacs!

Q: What to you call a Yugo with brakes?
A: Customized.

Q: What do you have to do if your Yugo gets in the way of a swarm of killer
bees?
A: Stop pushing and take refuge into the car.

Q: What is the Yugo owner's most ardent wish?
A: To buy a car.

Q: What do you call a Yugo with a seat belt?
A: A rucksack.

Q: How do you make a Yugo go faster uphill?
A: Throw out the passenger.

Q: How do you make a Yugo go faster downhill?
A: Turn off the engine.

Q: What do you call a Yugo with a flat tire?
A: A write off.

STOP PRESS!!
Yugo has announced a new 16 Valve model for 1993.
8 in the engine, 8 in the radio.

- I can see you've got a new car - a Yugo!
- Yes, I won the second prize in a lottery.
- What was the first prize then?
- A fruit-basket!

Yugo will be introducing three new vehicles next year. They will have a moped called an "I Go". They will have a
4-door called a "We Go". They will also have a new station wagon called the "Y'all Go".
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  #3  
Old 12-22-2004, 08:40 AM
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karrmann you reaeated each joke twice

i found one of them mildly amusing though
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Cedric - I sound like a chipmunk on there. Some friends of mine were like, "were you going through puberty?" I was like, no I was already 20, I just sound like a girl.
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  #4  
Old 12-22-2004, 08:47 AM
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Yu-go "Beep, Beep, Crunch!"
Yu*go (yoo-go)
n.
Small, economical, Yugoslavian-built automobile.
4x4 hood ornament.
adj.
What dosen't happen when you press the accelerator.


Go to top
Q. How do you double the value of a Yugo?

A. Fill the tank with gas! (If it can still hold liquid.)

A. If not, put a gallon of milk in the back seat.




What do Yugos have in common with Ferarris?

- A Ferarri can go from 0 to 60 in 4 seconds.

- A Yugo can go from 0 to 4 in 60 seconds.

Actually, a Yugo CAN accelerate as fast as a Ferarri, if you give it a fast enough running start, so it clears the cliff's edge...




Q. How do you fix a broken Yugo?

A.

Lift off the radiator cap.
Push off cliff.
and drive brand-new one underneath radiator cap. (30-mile/3-day warranty included!)




A man entered an auto parts store...

Man: "I need a windshield wiper blade for a Yugo."

Clerk: "Well, only if you throw $20 into the trade."



I once bought a Yugo with a tow package. ...It was in the front.




Q. Why does a Yugo have rear a window defroster?

A. To keep your hands warm as you push it.




"The Oakland Police captured two men in their Yugo last night. The men are being held as suspects in the city's first push-by shooting."


Q. What comes with every Yugo User's Manual?

A. The bus schedule.




From the Yugo owner's manual: "If you sense an impending accident with any other animate or inanimate object larger than a breadbox, quickly

place head between legs,
lock hands behind head,
Repeat your favorite prayer



Yugos are now much safer and come standard with an air bag. When you sense an impending accident, start blowing *real fast.*




Consumer safety tests showed that a 5 mph parking-lot crash will cause about $2800 damage to a Yugo. What's left? About $1200 of "dealer prep."




Q. What do you call a Yugo at the top of a big hill?

A. A miracle!


and the reason some jokes are recreated is cause i'm just ctrl+c and ctrl+v ing.
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  #5  
Old 12-22-2004, 08:48 AM
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Stop Posting The Same Jokes There Not Funny !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Cedric - I sound like a chipmunk on there. Some friends of mine were like, "were you going through puberty?" I was like, no I was already 20, I just sound like a girl.
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  #6  
Old 12-22-2004, 08:51 AM
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Karrmann Karrmann is offline
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I already said i'm just ctrl+c + ctrl+v ing them
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  #7  
Old 12-22-2004, 08:53 AM
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well maybee you shoudl read them first

youve posted the same jokes 3 times with a slightly different wording :tuttut:
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Cedric - I sound like a chipmunk on there. Some friends of mine were like, "were you going through puberty?" I was like, no I was already 20, I just sound like a girl.
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  #8  
Old 12-22-2004, 08:56 AM
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Dont you see ... he on a role .. not an excellent one but you never know, something productive might come out of it I found quite a few of them funny
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  #9  
Old 12-22-2004, 09:03 AM
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Quote:
A man walks into an auto parts store and says,
"I'll take a gas cap for a Yugo"
"Sounds like a fair trade", says the couter worker.
this is the one i liked
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Cedric - I sound like a chipmunk on there. Some friends of mine were like, "were you going through puberty?" I was like, no I was already 20, I just sound like a girl.
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  #10  
Old 12-22-2004, 10:38 AM
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Q-how do u make a yugo move faster on a descent?
A-turn off the engine.
Q-what do u call a Yugo with brakes ?
A- customized.
Q-why do Yugos have heated rear windows?
A-to keep your hands warm when pushing them.
Q-how do u make a yugo go faster?
A-a tow truck.
Q-wat goes on page 4-5 of a yugo user's manual?
A-the bus and train schedule.



A guy driving a Yugo pulled up to a stoplight next to a
Rolls Royce. He rolled down his window and shouted to the
driver of the Rolls. "Hey, buddy, that's a nice car. You got
a phone in your Rolls? I've got a phone in my Yugo!"

The driver of the Rolls looked over and said snobbishly,
"Yes, I have a phone."

The driver of the Yugo said, "That's great man! Hey, you got
a TV in there? You know, I got a TV in the back seat of my
Yugo!"

The driver of the Rolls, quite irritated by now, replied,
"Of course, I have a television. A Rolls Royce is the finest
luxury car in the world!"

The driver of the Yugo said, "Yes, a very cool car! Hey, you
got a bed in there? I got a bed in the back of my
Yugo!"

The driver of the Rolls, upset that he did not have a bed,
sped away and went straight to the dealer, where he promptly
ordered a bed to be installed in the back of his Rolls Royce.
The next morning, he returned to pick up his car, and the bed
looked superb. It came complete with silk sheets and a
brass-trimmed headboard. It was
clearly a bed fit for a Rolls-Royce. So the driver of the
Rolls began searching for the Yugo. He drove around all day
and finally found the Yugo late that night. It was parked,
with all the windows fogged up from the inside.
He got out and knocked on the window of the Yugo. When there
wasn't any answer, he continued knocking and knocking
until finally, the owner of the Yugo lowered the window, and
stuck his soaking wet head out. "I now have a bed in the back
of my Rolls-Royce," the driver of the Rolls stated
arrogantly.

The driver of the Yugo looked at him narrowly and said, "You
got me out of the shower to tell me THIS?!?!
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  #11  
Old 12-22-2004, 10:44 AM
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Karrmann, stfu!
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"It feels loud, fast and scary. It feels like someone has torn off your arm and is beating you to death with the soggy end." Clarkson talking about a TVR.
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  #12  
Old 12-22-2004, 10:50 AM
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Karrmann Karrmann is offline
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get out of my thread if you're gonna start that crap again!
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  #13  
Old 12-22-2004, 11:39 AM
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Yeah, some of them are really funny, but it's annoying that some jokes are duplicated or triplicated.
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  #14  
Old 12-22-2004, 01:46 PM
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uhhh...what's a yugo?
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  #15  
Old 12-22-2004, 02:05 PM
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yugoslavian cars brand

http://www.inet.hr/~bpauric/eindex.htm
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