The Monty Python Quiz

[Matra et Alpine]

sounds like the Spanish inquisition

The cardinal did pop up in lots of sketches once the popularity of the character had grown

[Pando]

What's Myrrh, anyway?
It's a valuable balm...
A balm? well get it away it might bite him!

Not from the same scetch, but still related
^^ seen that one aswell, but i dont remember it by heart...

[emperor]

I use two kinds of aftershave lotions - Frankincense, Myrrh - three kinds of aftershave lotions, Frankincense, Myrrh, Sandalwood - four kinds of aftershave lotion. Frankincense, ....

Sorry to have kept you waiting
"I have a cold shower every morning just before I go mad. Than I go mad one, mad two mad three mad four..."

Next one:
"I'm the chairman of a multi-milion pound corporation and you are a very new chartred accountant, isn't it possible there may have been some mistake?"

[Matra et Alpine]

"Thats very kind sir, but I don't think I'm ready to be Chairman yet."

Next .......

"I'm sorry. We want a block of flats, not an abattoir"

( sorry had to google to make sure I picked the correct line, the response is CLASSIC M-P )

anyone ?????

[emperor]

Yes, well of course that's just the sort of blinkerd filistine pig ignorance I've come to expect from you non creative garbage, you sit there on your loathsome spotty behinds squezing blackheads not caring a tinker's ??????? about a struggling artist. You excrement. You lousy hypocritical whining toadies with your lousy colour TV sets and your Tony Jackling(?) golf clubs. And your bleeding masonic handshakes. You wouldn't let me join, would you, you black boring bastards. Well, I wouldn't become a free mason now, if you went down on your lousy stinking ?????? knees and beg for it.

Next:
"This house is surrounded"

[Matra et Alpine]

"I'm afraid I must not ask anyone to leave the room. No, I must ask nobody ... no, I must ask everybody to... I must not ask anyone to leave the room"

getting hard now

Next:
Bonsoir - ici nous avons les diagrammes modernes d'un mouton anglo-français

( yep another one I cheated on, had to get the French right or my name would have been mud )

PS: Tony Jacklin was British golfer.

[IWantAnAudiRS6]

Sorry to interrupt, my personal favourite...

"Now write it in letters 10 feet high"

[Matra et Alpine]

Great! We need doers in our movement Brian

[IWantAnAudiRS6]

And.... the classic...

"NIH!"

[emperor]

"I'm afraid I must not ask anyone to leave the room. No, I must ask nobody ... no, I must ask everybody to... I must not ask anyone to leave the room"

getting hard now

Next:
Bonsoir - ici nous avons les diagrammes modernes d'un mouton anglo-français

Bla bla bla (some impossible to understand gibberish) and:
Nous avons dans le tette le cabin ici, ou se trouve un petite capitain Anglais, Monsieur Trebouchous.
????
D'accord, d'accord. Et maintenant je vous presente mon colegue le pouf celebre Jean ???? Jalapatique


EDIT: forgot to add next one:
Yes, wherever bicycles are broken or menace by international communism bicycle repair man is ready. Ready to smash the comunists, wipe them out and shove them of the face of the earth. (this one isn't particulary hard, but the answer is another Clease classic)

[6'bore]

Where is Suka when you need him?

[IWantAnAudiRS6]

Lol, and we need video... Ministry of Silly Walks, anyone?

[emperor]

Nobody knows "The bicycle repair man sketch"?

[spi-ti-tout]

How old is this movie?

[emperor]

Pretty old.
The episode with this sketch has number 3. No more, no less. Three shall be the number of this episode and the number of the episode shall be three. Four shall thou not be the number of the episode, neither shall be two. Five is right out.