Audi Release Shit
Audi GmT, or whatever, have announced yet another eternally timeless and boring new sedan, labeled the "X10", to take on the world's most grueling race series, the Le Mans 24 hours, just because they're a bit mad. The X10 will be challenging a very different class from that of it's sister, the R10, and as such which is completely empty because the engine in particular runs on sheep urine nicked from Mercedes-Benz's recently-presented Bionic ShitFish™ car. Audi are feeling very confident that they will score the highest possible result in this new class, which they bullied Max Mosley into creating specially through stealing his lunch money and poking him incessantly, because it runs in circles.
Shit
However, they have also announced a possible entry into the same series as the R10 because they want to repeat the history of the now infamous 1979 Ford GT. Officials have stated that while this is an excellent opportunity for Audi to screw up, they are worried because there are no more chassis for the X10 remaining, as all of the other ones crashed during testing at 0.2 miles an hour. "But don't vorry about ittt," a German guy said, "Ve vill run za engine on tree veels to give us an edge on those reckless drivers, by God."
So far Audi is putting only just 98% of it's total world budget on the project and have installed a supercharger gift-wrapped neatly onto the top of the sheep rumored stationed in Valentino Rossi's house, to see if would have any effect on the quality of wee-wee being produced and are considering attaching pedals to the sheep and engine incase they break down. Audi have reported a 3 mile an hour top speed and hope to increase that sometime in the future.
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Rossi vs Alonso
With Fernando Alonso tired of the rumours of whether or not Valentino Rossi will join Formula 1, and to be honest who isn't sick of it, Rossi has challenged Alonso to a duel. With a race that consists of the both of them racing for 10 laps on a MotoGP bike around the notorious Phillip Island circuit, then another 10 laps on a bicycle, another 10 laps on a tricycle, 10 laps on a unicycle and 10 laps on a Merry-Go-Round. Then they move off into the second round where they both race each other in busses around the Nurburgring. Then the third round which consists of the first 5 slowest cars being eliminated, then another 6 eliminated and the final 20 minutes where cars burn fuel and are then given fuel tokens at the end of the session. Then a fourth round whereby one of them must seek the purple monkey of Ibiza and then bathe it before the next full moon.
Alonso and Rossi dueling
"Eh, I beat Alonso easy on the bikes and rally car, no. Alfonso very quick on the Formula One but I think I quicker because I drive the red car, and red car always go faster." said Valentino Rossi.
"**** him." said Fernando Alonso.
The duel is set to be televised around the world at around 11.30pm just to annoy the general public, and James Allen is rumoured to commentate the event which surely will make it more interesting.
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and much more (including "Everybody loaths Bernie" and "Ten Things You Didn't Know About Scott Speed") at
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Originally Posted by ZeTurbo
