This is the worst day of my life

[fisetdavid26]

Wow jorismo, I am greatly impressed by the way you reacted. I would probably have panicked instead of performing CPR as you did. You see, it's in those extreme situations that we can see who are the real ones out there.

As the others said, don't blame yourself. You did everything you could. Life is sometimes cruel, remember that... nothing can't be done against this.

My condolences to the family of the girl...

[taz_rocks_miami]

Everybody, thank you for your reaction. Just to be honest, I had some tears reading all this... It was a very emotional day, and I feel much better after reading this. But still I wouldn't consider myself as a hero. IMO I just did what I had to do, and nothing more. I wish I was able to something more.

If that's not the definition of a hero, I don't know what is.

This afternoon I went to the fire department (where I learned to know various people because of my school assignment) and had a good talk with some fire fighters. They helped me big time by just listening (just like you guys over here) and making me show my emotions. Tomorrow I also will meet a professional for these kind of situations. I hope I will feel better after that...

I'm glad to see you're seeking help after such a tough experience, in a few days, you'll feel better.

[ScionDriver]

Great job, I am proud to know someone like you. Even if you don't consider yourself a hero, you are still a wonderful person. I can say I don't think I would have done the same and not just because I don't know CPR but just because I would have freaked probably. You did the best you could, thats all that matters, and you gave her one heck of a chance when the professionals arrived, and thats all anyone can ask. You didn't lose her, you gave her one helluva chance, I comend you for that.

[VtecMini]

I don't really want to repeat everything that's been said, but, needless to say, I wholeheartedly agree with all of the above.

One thing that I will say though is this, if I'm ever involved in an accident, I can't hope and pray enough that there's somebody with your strength of character and quick-thinking reactions nearby. I don't know if I could count on being that lucky though. I can only hope so.

[Matra et Alpine]

J, something to discuss with professional ....

I always regretted that I never found out about the man who had died on me. Wished I'd been able to go to his funeral and apologise to the family for not managing to save him. Still do If thinking the same, you should ask the counsellor if that is of benefit or could make things worse I just felt I could have done with "closure".

[Quiggs]

In that kind of situation, you did all you could. Most people wouldn't have even done that, or had the frame of mind to do it. You definitely get a from me.

[jorismo]

J, something to discuss with professional ....

I always regretted that I never found out about the man who had died on me. Wished I'd been able to go to his funeral and apologise to the family for not managing to save him. Still do If thinking the same, you should ask the counsellor if that is of benefit or could make things worse I just felt I could have done with "closure".

Yeah well I kinda already faced that. I already got contacted by the family of the girl. They received my name and phonenumber from the police. Normally they wouldn't do such thing, but they made an exception for this.

Her father already thanked me on the phone for what I did. He practically said the same as everybody here. He also invited me to her funeral, this Friday. I don't know what to do yet... I'll talk to some people tomorrow and make up my mind... As for now: I need some serious sleep...

[IBrake4Rainbows]

While i'm not a professional,I think attending her funeral might help to give you some closure to the issue. It's not a good thing to have happened by any stretch of the imagination but how you grow and learn from it will make you a better person than you are today.

and considering your level head and heroic actions, that's no mean feat.

[Doug_Dread]

Wow, you amaze me Jorismo! Even by qualifying as a 1st aider, you demonstrated that you intend being a responsible member of your society and stepping up to the plate when someone needed you is what being a man is all about. Life may not let you win every time but overall, take comfort in the fact that you're destined to be a winner of note.

[jorismo]

Ok, I just got back from my appointment with the psychologist, and he said that it might be a good idea to go to the funeral. Not only for me, but also for the girls parents. For me it would be good, because than I can share my sadness with people who were close to the victim and talk with her parents.

For her parents it would be good so that they can talk to the guy who was with their daughter during the last seconds of her life.

I think I might go. It's probably the best thing and I think it will help me a lot.

[SlickHolden]

It wont be easy but be strong your a good person.

[Matra et Alpine]

I think I might go. It's probably the best thing and I think it will help me a lot.

I concur for both parties.
However, I would recommend taking a very close friend or family member who can give you some support and strength. It will be very sad and emotional and you will benefit from having someone you know well enough to get a cuddle and support from.
Best wishes

[Waugh-terfall]

Your family must be so proud of you Joris

[DBR9]

Well done jorismo, i know you've heard this already but you are a hero even if you don't want that title it's what i regard you as you are an asset to any community and we need more people like you around.

I can't imagine how it must feel i've been in similar situations but not immediately life threatning as in your case. I had an experience a few years ago in which i drowned whist kayaking and after going unconcious my body began to slowly shut down. My family was on the bank and my dad immediately went in after me. Also other people went into the river as soon as they saw me with no regard for their safety and got me to the bank. To me they are heroes. Not because they saved my life, because they made the effort, it's the effort that counts even if the result isn't the one hoped for.

I know the funeral will be hard and you'll keep looking back thinking you could have done something extra, but you couldn't because if there was something i have no doubt you would have done it at the time matey. keep posting whatever you feel it's hard to hard for anyone person and we all have the utmost respect for you and wish to help by whatever means.

[jorismo]

So, I made up my mind. I'm going to the funeral. My father goes with me, he really supports me in all this. I hope that after it, and after having talked to the girls parents, I might feel better.

Once again, thanks to you all (special thanks to Peter) for all you support. Your words really mean a lot to me.