Top 10: Douchemobiles - AskMen.com

[PRC777]

AskMen.com is one of my all-time greatest websites I visit because of its articles based on life in the average man's perspective. This site talks about everything from how to hide that hickey the gf gave you, to douchemobiles.
I'm pretty sure this already covered in the Worst Production Car thread, or any other old thread pertaining to douchemobiles, but I just wanted to bring up this AskMen.com article regarding their opinion to what they think are the Top 10 Douchemobiles. Yes, some of the cars are cars that we want to own, douche or not. But it is what people generally do with these exotics that tarnishes the car's legacy behind the brand name (i.e buying a Ferrari 360/F430 in Fly Yellow installed w/ a megawatt aftermarket stereo, blasting the volume up and killing the beloved V8 engine sound in the process).
Anyway, enjoy the article. Here's an attached pic of douchemobile #8.
Top 10: Douchemobiles - AskMen.com

[Ferrer]

I can't understand why the entire Audi lineup is missing.

[DesmoRob]

Relax, we’re not about to throw the douchemobile label on the 2005-2011 Mustangs. The newest cars are arguably the best, at least of those since ’74. We’re talking instead about the decade-long run of the ’94-’04 cars, now dubbed Douchestangs thanks to the guys who ruined it for the rest of us. Douchey V8 drivers are bad enough, but it seems a lot of V6 owners have inexplicably bigger chips on their shoulders.

I don't agree with that. The previous gen mustang was a good car. The Cobras were lighter, and they had independent rear suspensions. They saved money on the new ones by going solid, and that's not really an improvement for such a car. These journalists are probably the same guys from msn.com. In other words, they don't really know anything about cars, which makes them the douches for taking the time out of their days to label others. Last time I checked, a yellow Ferrari 360/430 was not a douchemobile either. Au contraire, they are works of art. This uber masculine caveman mentality grips my shit. Anyone that would take this so called "life advice" seriously needs help.

These cars = coool mobiles

I can't understand why the entire Audi lineup is missing.

I can. Its because they aren't douchemobiles .

[Ferrer]

Only they are. The top three of german-douche-panzer-wagens goes like this: 1. Audi, 2. BMW and 3. Mercedes-Benz. Bonus points if you managed to ruin your cap by adding some sort of sports pack.

[PRC777]

Yeah. I kinda' felt that something "missing" with this article. As I stated before, there are some cars that we want to own, but if you were given color options of the 360/F430 would you own a Fly Yellow one? Just to let everyone know you're leasing a Ferrari (not really owning it)? And how about that bright mint green Lamborghini Gallardo. Wow, you're cool...
The Hummer being the #1 douchemobile is a given.
I'm actually surprised that there isn't any Chryslers (PT Cruiser, 300C, Crossfire) listed.

[DesmoRob]

Yeah. I kinda' felt that something "missing" with this article. As I stated before, there are some cars that we want to own, but if you were given color options of the 360/F430 would you own a Fly Yellow one? Just to let everyone know you're leasing a Ferrari (not really owning it)? And how about that bright mint green Lamborghini Gallardo. Wow, you're cool..

Well when I start the hunt for a 360, the things I'm going to look for is that its a 3 pedal car with lots of mileage (driven regularly and not garage gueened), maintenance records, preferably up to date maintenance, and of course a thorough PPI that confirms the car is solid and dry. Whichever car comes out on top will be the one I pick, even if its purple. The best color combination isn't going to do me much good if the rest of the car is in need of serious attention. Now obviously if I was buying brand new, and stupid enough to spend that kind of money on a car that is going to depreciate massively and hasn't even had its new Ferrari kinks sorted out yet, then yes I'd buy rosso corsa or nero.

Only they are. The top three of german-douche-panzer-wagens goes like this: 1. Audi, 2. BMW and 3. Mercedes-Benz. Bonus points if you managed to ruin your cap by adding some sort of sports pack.

I don't think all of them are lame nor do I think that none of them are lame. You're pretty much generalizing the entire brands' lineups and thus implying that you don't like all of Germany's nicest stuff. Hows that even possible?

[Kitdy]

I don't think all of them are lame nor do I think that none of them are lame. You're pretty much generalizing the entire brands' lineups and thus implying that you don't like all of Germany's nicest stuff. Hows that even possible?

He does drive a BMW, so he's a self hater.

I guess when it comes to douchebag cars, it's more about who drives them than the car themselves.

Sorry Rob, I ain't saying you're a douche, but I'd say your average 360/430 driver is, hah.

I disagree with Ferrer though - I think BMW drivers are the #1 douches of the German Big 3. I distinctly remember a young lad in an E46 M3 convertible weaving up the Don Valley Parkway going 120 in a 90. Awesome. Audi drivers are more restrained I find.

Benz drivers stereotypically are high powered old dickhead lawyers and businessmen (not business women) that are very headstrong - however they drive nicely and aren't douches in that sense I find.

Here you get a lot of youths driving beaten up old Civic hatchbacks with a fartcan - extremely obnoxious and douchey. Ditto modded VW drivers, specifically MkIV GTIs. Where's Quiggs when you need him?

[Ferrer]

Maybe it is an European thing, but certainly here it's Audi drivers, always ready to annoy the sensible motorist whenever the opportunity presents itself. That of course doesn't excuse the BMW driver, which is also very often an annyoing twat, but I'd say that right now Audi's have the edge.

Of course that doesn't mean this brands don't make good cars. They do. Except for Audis.

[DesmoRob]

Sorry Rob, I ain't saying you're a douche, but I'd say your average 360/430 driver is, hah.

I agree. That's why lots of the Ferraris rotate through a ton of owners. The douchebags realize that it takes a lot of TLC to keep a Ferrari and they decide they'd rather buy a Corvette or Viper. Real Ferrari drivers hold onto their cars and put a ton of kilometers on them. I can guarantee when my time comes for a 360, my ownership will be her final stop. Each Ferrari is unique to a certain individual's taste and character, and it shouldn't be the type of sports car that you swtich up every two years out of boredom douchebag style. Its a love affair that you grow old with and take to the grave with you (not literally).

[LeonOfTheDead]

As far as Italian drivers are concerned, 5-Series owner are the worst, followed by 3-Series's and A3's. Then we have Mini's, albeit many owners of the small car are girls or just "rich" kids so they are not into driving on top of your head saying "get out of my way you f***ing ragamuffin". They used to be heavily contested by 206's drivers.

Surely 5-Series drivers rule though, Estate's mainly, and they never wash their cars, ever.

[Ferrer]

It's strange you don't have problems with 1er drivers. Altough surely, the worse ever are SUV drivers.

[LeonOfTheDead]

It's strange you don't have problems with 1er drivers. Altough surely, the worse ever are SUV drivers.

1-Series drivers hide in the traffic I guess. They are those who pretend to be pro race drivers who don't need to show off on the road.

SUVs' owners have mainly a problem with parking, rather than driving. Especially when it's time to wait for children out of school (and that's the case even when daddy is at the wheel).
Surely they love to set the street on fire at every light crossing, probably trying to break the record for the lowest instant mileage. You have to justify a 200ish bhp (or more) diesel engine on a panzer some way.

[Ferrer]

A man in X5M the other day changed lanes agressively, without indicating and revving the engine of his car while tailgating other drivers. I thought the behaviour shown by this imbecile was very annoying and wanted to terminate it with fire.

Somewhat, the biggest and more expensive the SUV is, the more they think they own the road, and everything that surrounds it, here.

[DesmoRob]

Somewhat, the biggest and more expensive the SUV is, the more they think they own the road, and everything that surrounds it, here.

Thats kind of how people are here too, except worse. Its the bigger and more lifted the pickup truck is, the more they drive like complete c***s. Then they feel the need to stomp on the accelerator pedal after every complete stop causing their chipped diesel motors to puke thick black disgusting smoke in everyone's face.

[LTSmash]

From recent observations in my area the list is this:

Subaru STi's
Lancer Evo's
All Ferrari's
All Audi's
E46 and X5 BMW's
New models of the Range Rover
Porsche Boxter's, Turbo's and Cayenne's
All Merc's
....and Jetta drivers