Funny Jokes ... WARNING: may offend

[kingofthering]

hahahaha

[2ndclasscitizen]

That's pretty funny

[crisis]

Once there were twins, Joe and John. Joe was the owner of a dilapidated
old boat. It so happened that John's wife died the same day that Joe's
boat sank.

A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Joe and mistook him for John. She
said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible."
Joe, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no! Fact is

I'm sort of glad to be rid of her.

She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all
shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her
water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front
too.

Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked
like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to
these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't
very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in
her all at once and she split right up the middle".

The old lady fainted.

[Zytek_Fan]

hahahaha Good one crisis

[Viper007]

Nice nice, I like your style.

[Cyco]

A tale of a drover who wins the lottery. "What are ya gunna do now?" his mate wonders. "Aw, probably head down to the big smoke and spend it, I s'pose," the drover says.

"What route will ya take?" his mate asks. "Probably the missus," explains the drover, "she stuck with me through the drought."


An Australian, and unashamedly heretical, take on The Lord's Prayer.

"Our Lager which art in barrels
Hallowed be thy drink
Thy will be drunk (I will be drunk)
At home as if in tavern
Give us this day our foamy head
And forgive us our spillages
As we forgive those who spill against us
Lead us not into incarceration
But deliver us from hangovers
For thine is the beer, the bitter, the lager
For ever and ever, Barmen."

[Zytek_Fan]

[Mustang]

[crisis]

The Perfect WalMart Greeter

A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walks into Wal-Mart with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. The WalMart Greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you've got there. Are they twins?"

The ugly woman stops screaming long enough to say, "Hell no they ain't. The oldest one, he's 9 and the younger one, she's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Do you really think they look alike?"

"No", replies the greeter, "I just couldn't believe you got laid twice!

[KELSA]

Destiny is like being raped, if you can't control it, might as well as enjoy it;

Work is like raping, if you can't do it, someone'll take ur place;

Life is like masterbation, you have to build up every moment by hand;

Pay Check is like period, generally comes once a month, if it doesn't come u're f@cked;

Negotiation is like oral sex, you don't really get much in return, no better how well you use your mouth;

Politicians are like viginas, look down at the softies and scare of the hardcores;

Friends are like condoms, no matter how big of a shit hole you're in, he'll always there to protect you;

[syko]

whats the best thing about 28 yr olds







there's 20 of them

so damn wrong

[acemotorsport]

http://www.explosm.net/movies/124/ its funny

[clutch-monkey]

[IWantAnAudiRS6]

That's the sort of thing I'd do.

[LotusLocost]

That's the sort of thing I'd do.

No way

Funny cartoon though!