Barclays Bank is very pleased to inform you that they are Installing new "Drive-thru" cash point machines where their customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. To enable customers to make full use of these new facilities, they have conducted intensive behavioural studies to come up with appropriate procedures for their use.
Please read the procedures that apply to you and remember them for when you use our new machines for the first time.
PROCEDURES FOR OUR MALE CUSTOMERS:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Wind down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Wind up window.
7. Drive off.
PROCEDURES FOR OUR FEMALE CUSTOMERS:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse back the required amount to align car window with cash machine.
3. Restart stalled engine.
4. Wind down window.
5. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to locate card.
6. Turn radio down.
7. Attempt to insert card into machine.
8. Open car door to allow easier access to cash machine due to its excessive distance from car.
9. Insert card.
10. After "Invalid Card" displayed - remove "Marks & Spencer" Charge card and insert correct Cash Point card.
11. Remove Cash Point Card
12. Reinsert Cash Point card right way up
13. Re-enter handbag to find diary with PIN written on inside back page.
14. Enter PIN.
15. Enter "Cancel" and re-enter correct PIN.
16. Enter amount of cash required.
17. Check make-up in rear view mirror.
18. Retrieve cash and receipt.
19. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.
20. Place receipt in back of cheque book.
21. Recheck makeup.
22. Drive forward 2 meters.
23. Reverse back to cash machine.
24. Retrieve card.
25. Re-empty handbag, locate cardholder and place card into slot provided.
26. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
27. Drive for 2-3 miles.
28. Release handbrake
Cedric - I sound like a chipmunk on there. Some friends of mine were like, "were you going through puberty?" I was like, no I was already 20, I just sound like a girl.