Funny Jokes ... WARNING: may offend

[CdocZ]

I utterly love this doctor thing here, Crisis. Its amazing!

[Matra et Alpine]

I utterly love this doctor thing here, Crisis. Its amazing!

agreed

To drag it back to normal level tho' .....

did u hear about the guy who lost his leftleg and arm in a car crash? ...yeah.. he is all right now..

:groan:

[jediali]

I utterly love this doctor thing here, Crisis. Its amazing!

havent laughed this hard in ages!

[Zytek_Fan]

Watch this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEqJ5fNdIl8

[man 430gt]

Watch this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEqJ5fNdIl8

Oh My what a numbnut!

[Jack_Bauer]

A cheating woman takes her lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom cupboard. Then the woman's husband also comes home. Panicked, she puts her lover in the cupboard, not realising that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy "I have a football."
Man "That's nice."
Boy "Want to buy it?"
Man "No, thanks."
Boy "My dad's outside."
Man "OK, how much?" Boy - £250

A few weeks later, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the cupboard together.

Boy "Dark in here."
Man "Yes, it is."
Boy "I have football boots."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy "£750" Man "Sold."

A few days later, the boy's father says to the boy, "Grab your boots and football, let's go outside and have a game of footy. The boy says, "I can't, I sold my ball and boots." The father says, "What?! Why?! How much did you sell them for?" Boy - "£1,000." The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is far more than those two things cost. You're going to church to confess!"

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door. The boy says, "Dark in here." The priest says,








"Don't start that sh!t again!".

[Rockefella]

A cheating woman takes her lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom cupboard. Then the woman's husband also comes home. Panicked, she puts her lover in the cupboard, not realising that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy "I have a football."
Man "That's nice."
Boy "Want to buy it?"
Man "No, thanks."
Boy "My dad's outside."
Man "OK, how much?" Boy - £250

A few weeks later, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the cupboard together.

Boy "Dark in here."
Man "Yes, it is."
Boy "I have football boots."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy "£750" Man "Sold."

A few days later, the boy's father says to the boy, "Grab your boots and football, let's go outside and have a game of footy. The boy says, "I can't, I sold my ball and boots." The father says, "What?! Why?! How much did you sell them for?" Boy - "£1,000." The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is far more than those two things cost. You're going to church to confess!"

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door. The boy says, "Dark in here." The priest says,








"Don't start that sh!t again!".

Bwahaha, brilliant.

[IWantAnAudiRS6]

Why females should avoid a girl's night out after they are married:

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight. "I promise!" Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3 A.M., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wakeup, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed...3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12cuckoos = MIDNITE!)

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him "Midnight". He didn't seem upset at all. Whew! Got away with that one! Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, "Oh f**k", cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it's throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted."

[my porsche]

hahahahahahha f*uckin hilarious sam

[IWantAnAudiRS6]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PW2GhoItKkw

I'm sorry, but lol

[CdocZ]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PW2GhoItKkw

I'm sorry, but lol

I have absolutely no idea what to make of that, except to just stare and chuckle in a very evil way.

[The_Canuck]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PW2GhoItKkw

I'm sorry, but lol

hahahahahahahaha

[Matra et Alpine]

A couple had been married for 50 years.



They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together."



"I know," the old man said. "We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago."



"Well," Granny snickered. "Let's relive some old times."



Whereupon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.



"You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."



"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps.



"One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal."

[Vaigra]

Vile but always hilarious

[IWantAnAudiRS6]