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Thread: Funny Jokes ... WARNING: may offend

  1. #1756
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    Aug 2004
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    UK
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    Good photoshop
    Audi humbles Porsche. A new dawn starts today.

    Being nice since 2007.

  2. #1757
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    Nov 2004
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    brisbane - sub-tropical land of mangoes
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    16,251
    hahah nice one 2ndCC
    i made this one just recently, no it's not my car
    Attached Images Attached Images
    Andreas Preuninger, Manager of Porsche High Performance Cars: "Grandmas can use paddles. They aren't challenging."

  3. #1758
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
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    Sydney, Down Under
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vaigra View Post
    Good photoshop
    Not photoshop: http://diy.despair.com/motivator.php

  4. #1759
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    Quote Originally Posted by 2ndclasscitizen View Post
    I know about the site. I was just saying the guy coming off his bike is a chop..right? It looks like he's just been picked up and moved away from the bike because his body is in the position it would be if he were doing it correctly.
    Audi humbles Porsche. A new dawn starts today.

    Being nice since 2007.

  5. #1760
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    Feb 2007
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    Carthage, MO. US
    Posts
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    holy crap, i love this site... heres one


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  6. #1761
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    Isn't that Mr. Quiggs?
    I'm dropping out to create a company that starts with motorcycles, then cars, and forty years later signs a legendary Brazilian driver who has a public and expensive feud with his French teammate.

  7. #1762
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    Jan 2004
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vaigra View Post
    I know about the site. I was just saying the guy coming off his bike is a chop..right? It looks like he's just been picked up and moved away from the bike because his body is in the position it would be if he were doing it correctly.
    I don't think it's chop, the bikes just gotten away from him

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  8. #1763
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    UK
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    Any idea on his condition?
    Audi humbles Porsche. A new dawn starts today.

    Being nice since 2007.

  9. #1764
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    Aug 2004
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    11,391
    definately a chop. observe. simply photoshopped it back, if it did get away i'm sure his arms would not fit to the pixel where the handle bar grip and the grab-hold on the rear number plat are.
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    He came dancing across the water
    With his galleons and guns
    Looking for the new world
    In that palace in the sun
    On the shore lay Montezuma
    With his cocoa leaves and pearls

  10. #1765
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    UK
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    Exactly what I thought.
    Audi humbles Porsche. A new dawn starts today.

    Being nice since 2007.

  11. #1766
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    Aug 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by my porsche View Post
    definately a chop. observe. simply photoshopped it back, if it did get away i'm sure his arms would not fit to the pixel where the handle bar grip and the grab-hold on the rear number plat are.
    Well, I also doubt he'd hold that position as he fell to his death.
    Go n-ithe an cat thu, is go n-ithe an diabhal an cat

    When you go Home, Tell them for us and say 'For your tommorrow, We Gave Our Today.'

  12. #1767
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    Im sure he made some attempt to brace himself before he landed, but newtons laws of motion work and its quite hard to reorientate yourself as you move through the air. Unless your a cat
    "Horsepower sells motor cars, but torque wins motor races."
    -Carrol Shelby

  13. #1768
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    UK
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    39 things never said by a Redneck

    39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.

    38. Duct tape won't fix that.

    37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.

    36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.

    35. We don't keep firearms in this house.

    34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?

    33. You can't feed that to the dog.

    32. I thought Grace land was tacky.

    31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.

    30. Wrasslin's fake.

    29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Green peace?

    28. We're vegetarians.

    27. Do you think my gut is too big?

    26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.

    25. Honey, we don't need another dog.

    24. Who's Richard Petty?

    23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

    22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.

    21. Spitting is such a nasty habit.

    20. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.

    19. Trim the fat off that steak.

    18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.

    17. The tires on that truck are too big.

    16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.

    15. I've got it all on the C drive.

    14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.

    13. Would you like your salmon poached or broiled?

    12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.

    11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.

    10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.

    09. Checkmate.

    08. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.

    07. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?

    06. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.

    05. I don't have a favorite college team.

    04. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.

    03. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.

    02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.

    01. Nope, no more for me. I'm driving tonight.
    Audi humbles Porsche. A new dawn starts today.

    Being nice since 2007.

  14. #1769
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    Aug 2004
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    8,068
    Go to http://maps.google.com/

    Hit 'Get Directions'

    Go from 'New York, New York' to 'Paris, France'

    Read line #23

    Enjoy...

  15. #1770
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    Location
    Maryland, USA
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    Quote Originally Posted by IWantAnAudiRS6 View Post
    Go to http://maps.google.com/

    Hit 'Get Directions'

    Go from 'New York, New York' to 'Paris, France'

    Read line #23

    Enjoy...
    23.Swim across the Atlantic Ocean3,462 mi 29 days 0 hours
    Go n-ithe an cat thu, is go n-ithe an diabhal an cat

    When you go Home, Tell them for us and say 'For your tommorrow, We Gave Our Today.'

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