Yeah, Matra did.Originally Posted by kingofthering
Uh...didn't Matra just post this? If you're quoting, it may help with the quote tags so it would clear up the confusion.
Sorry Matra!
Enthusiast
Yeah, Matra did.Uh...didn't Matra just post this? If you're quoting, it may help with the quote tags so it would clear up the confusion.
Sorry Matra!
Buddy: 1998-2009
Mah boi, UCP is what all true warriors strive for!
PINGAS!!!!
Fanatic
"Lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex for my birthday. Think they misunderstood me when I said 'I wanna watch'."
Life's too short to drive bad cars.
Enthusiast
lol.
Did you hear the one about the lesbian contractor?
Wasn't a stud in the place, it was all tongue-in-groove.
Heard that when I was working construction, if that's a bit too graphic feel free to delete it mods.
Big cities suck
"Not putting miles on your Ferrari is like not having sex with your girlfriend so she'll be more desirable to her next boyfriend." -Napolis
Super Moderator
"graphic" ? the title makes it clear ---- MAY OFFEND.
I like it ...... and forwarded it to lesbian friends
"A woman without curves is like a road without bends, you might get to your destination quicker but the ride is boring as hell'
Novice
Very funny....
Furniture
Enthusiast
Oh god. Oh dear god. Ahhhhh nightmares oh god oh god oh god
"I'd hate to die twice. It's so boring" - Richard Feynman, last recorded words.
Enthusiast
Those stories made me feel so uneasy....But why would anyone put an eel up someones butt?
Buddy: 1998-2009
Mah boi, UCP is what all true warriors strive for!
PINGAS!!!!
Super Moderator
Am going with mate on Friday to look at a Harley he wants to buy.
I've given up trying to convince him otherwise
A man walks into a seedy back alley butchers shop to buy some human brain and asks "How much is it for engineer's brains?" and is told "$10 a kilo".
He then asks "How much for doctor's brains?" and is told "$15 a kilo".
He then spots the sign saying Harley riders brain and asks "How much for the Harley riders brains?" and is shocked when the butcher says "$500 a kilo"
"Why is it so much?"
the butcher replies "Do you know how many of them we have to kill to get a kilo?"
"A woman without curves is like a road without bends, you might get to your destination quicker but the ride is boring as hell'
Furniture
You aren't going to the 24 hours Nürburgring?
Super Moderator
Nope, unable to make the ADAC ... family wedding
"A woman without curves is like a road without bends, you might get to your destination quicker but the ride is boring as hell'
Fanatic
That's pretty rude of them to schedule it like that...Nope, unable to make the ADAC ... family wedding
Life's too short to drive bad cars.
Enthusiast
Heard this one from a friend not too long ago:
"What do you call two turtles f***ing?"
"slowpoke."
Also curious as to how the youngster in one of the previous articles ended up with a fish in his prick after cleaning his fish tank and urinating "simultaneously". Not because I'm interested in trying it myself, but because it sounds physically impossible.
Enthusiast
lol.
Yeah, I'm thinking if it had actually happened that way then he would have gone to the doctor immediately. Probably just embarassed to admit what he had done.
@CG some friends of mine shaved a smiley face into another friends butt when he passed out drunk. Alcohol makes you do strange things.
Big cities suck
"Not putting miles on your Ferrari is like not having sex with your girlfriend so she'll be more desirable to her next boyfriend." -Napolis
Super Moderator
Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced:
'Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain.Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to Toronto . The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight. So sit back,relax and...... OH, MY GOD !'
Silence followed!
Some moments later the captain came back on the intercom.
'Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you . While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!'
One Irish passenger yelled...
'For Goodness sake ....... you should see the back of mine!!!'
"A woman without curves is like a road without bends, you might get to your destination quicker but the ride is boring as hell'
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