^^^ ive heard that one except it was taliban soldiers... still funny but.
Fanatic
^^^ ive heard that one except it was taliban soldiers... still funny but.
The Datto will rage again...
Super Moderator
ye gottae get wan ........
"A woman without curves is like a road without bends, you might get to your destination quicker but the ride is boring as hell'
For Great Justice.
^Awesome :P :P
<cough> www.charginmahlazer.tumblr.com </cough>
Fanatic
Could also be interepreted for chavsOriginally Posted by Matra et Alpine
Ali G... Burberry... stoopid words
Fanatic
Bumper Stickers!
1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5. Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.
6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.
9. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
10. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
11. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
12. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
13. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
14. Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.
15. Procrastinate Now!
16. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
17. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
18. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
19. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
20. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
21. Ham and eggs; a day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
22. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
23. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson
The Datto will rage again...
Enthusiast
Some absolute crackers in that one.... really good!
Porsche!
Fanatic
Representing a matter of national pride are we Petey
Super Moderator
(shamelessly stolen from msn.co.uk)
....
Ever wondered what George Bush listens to when he's not running the most powerful country in the world? Wonder no more, in a recent interview the President has revealed the artists who populate his playlist. The Beatles and the Beach Boys feature, along with Dwight Yoakham, Don Maclean and Aretha Franklin. George Bush also revealed that he takes full advantage of the shuffle facility, even going so far as to shuffle his shuffle.
Which songs or artists do you think George Bush should have on his iPod? A brief office survey has so far come up with anything by Saddam and the Ants and We're all going on Osama holiday by Cliff Richard.
Some possibilities
Fool on the Hill - The Beatles
My United States of Whatever - Liam Lynch
Happiness Is a Warm Gun – The Beatles
He's Lost Control Again -Joy Division
Push the Button – Sugababes
Otis Redding - Sittin' on Guantanamo Bay
I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For - U2
In the Blair tonight - Phil Collins
Afghandle in the wind - Elton John
Rock the Basra - The Clash
You can call me Al (Qaeda) - Paul Simon
Kabul-a Chameleon - Culture Clubs
I Predict a Riot - Kaiser Chiefs
American Idiot - Green Day
Eve of Destruction - Barry McGuire
Closest thing to Crazy - Katie Melua
We gotta get out of this place - The Animals
Troops, I did it again - Britney Spears
Papa's got a brand new Baghdad – James Brown
Don't stop me now - Queen
Take me out - Franz Ferdinand
There's Iraq in me kitchen - UB40
An Honest Mistake - The Bravery
Anything by Madness
Dazed and Confused - Led Zeppelin
I'm so Bored with the USA - Clash
The Hives - Hate to say I told you so
'Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word - Elton John
Take me down to Baghdad City - Guns 'n' Roses
To hear from the man himslef -- watch http://www.sky.com/shared/videoasx/0...1200-bb,00.asx
Love how he has DAN McLean that great American artist ---- DOH
"A woman without curves is like a road without bends, you might get to your destination quicker but the ride is boring as hell'
Supporting Member
Mr. Bush' favourite song should be "Political Science" by Randy Newman
"I find the whole business of religion profoundly interesting, but it does mystify me that otherwise intelligent people take it seriously." Douglas Adams
Super Moderator
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.
A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk.
Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello."
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes."
WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2006 models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$90,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price, I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing .....the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. It is really a pretty good price."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.....
Then he smiles and asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"
"A woman without curves is like a road without bends, you might get to your destination quicker but the ride is boring as hell'
Super Moderator
In a world where religions are so often seen as in conflict.
Here we see where they share some things in common ......
...........TAOISM Shit Happens
.........HINDUISM This Shit Happened Before
............ISLAM If Shit Happens, Take a Hostage
.........BUDDHISM When Shit Happens Is It Really Shit?
7th DAY ADVENTIST Shit Happens On A Saturday
....PROTESTANTISM Shit Wont Happen If You Work Harder
......CATHOLICISM If Shit Happens, I Deserve It
JEHOVAH'S WITNESS Knock, Knock, "Shit Happens"
..........JUDAISM Why Does Shit Always Happen To Me?
.....HARE KRISHNA Shit Happens Rama Rama Ding Dong
..........ATHEISM NO SHIT
....TV EVANGELISM Send More Shit
...RASTAFARIANISM Let's Smoke This Shit
There have I spread my abuse of religious beliefs widely enough not to effend anyone, or to offend everyone, either will do
Last edited by Matra et Alpine; 02-10-2006 at 03:57 PM.
"A woman without curves is like a road without bends, you might get to your destination quicker but the ride is boring as hell'
Furniture
great one matra
He came dancing across the water
With his galleons and guns
Looking for the new world
In that palace in the sun
On the shore lay Montezuma
With his cocoa leaves and pearls
Enthusiast
Whether this one has been posted yet or not I don't know but its probably pretty old and I'll post it anyway.
SAN FRANCISCO MAN BECOMES FIRST AMERICAN TO GRASP SIGNIFICANCE OF SARCASM
Chuck Fullmer, 38, yesterday became the first American to get to grips with the concept of sarcasm. "It was weird" Fullmer said. "I was in London and like, talking to this guy and it was raining and he pulled a face and said, "Great weather eh?" and I thought - "Wait a minute, no way is it great weather". Fullmer then realised that the other man's 'mistake' was in fact deliberate. Fullmer, who is 39 next month and married with two children, aged 8 and 3, plans to use sarcasm himself in future. "I'm, like, using it all the time" he said. "Last weekend I was grilling steaks and I burned them and I said "Hey, great weather."
Credit to the always brilliant ORSM.net.
Fanatic
A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. As the pallbearers are carrying out the casket, they accidentally bump into a wall. Hearing a faint moan from inside, the woman’s husband opens the casket and finds that his wife is actually alive!
She dies again, 10 years later, at which point her husband has to go through another funeral. This time when the pallbearers carry the casket toward the door, the husband yells out, “Watch out for that f*cking wall!”
Fanatic
Q: How do you confuse an archaeologist?
A: Give him a used tampon and ask him what period it came from.
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