As I've stated before: I can't understand how VW has become one of the most profitable car manufacturers in the World when you consider that they're essentially doing the same thing that Ford and GM were doing (badge-engineering half a dozen versions of the same car).

I mean: Let's take the current Golf platform (called the 'A5') - we have:

Audi A3: A supposed "premium"* version of the Golf.

* Read: Overpriced - to be bought by the same idiots that will spend £200 on a pair of jeans for the label, despite them being made to the same quality as the standard product in the same sweatshops. There's nothing wrong with it as such, but it's no better than the standard Golf



VW Scirocco - A "sporty" version of the Golf.

A Golf chassis in a less generic bodyshell - labelled as a "coupé" (when it's plainly just another 3-door hatch like the C4, Astra etc.) and sold at a premium despite being less practical than the Golf 3-door and offering no advantages besides the tarted-up body. Strange.



VW Golf - The "people's car" indeed.

A car that's trying to be everything - It's supposedly a cut above the Fords and Vauxhalls one minute and then the next it's being advertised as cheap or good value. Mostly bought by people with no imagination, who only consider residual values and blindly regurgitate the same dubious stereotypes regarding quality despite data showing average reliability.



VW Golf Plus - Plus what, exactly?

A Golf that...wait...no...I don't know either. It appears that this is VAG's biggest failed product on this platform - even the brand sheep can't figure-out what it is. It's not big enough to be an MPV but it's too big to be a regular hatch. Appeals to the elderly, who due to the high roofline can clamber in easily, or those with a penchant for large hats.



Séat Leon: - A "sporty" Golf...

...wait: Isn't that the Scirocco?

- A "value" Golf...

...wait: Isn't that the Octavia?

Apparently, Séat aren't hitting their sales targets - this isn't hard to imagine when you consider that their business plan is so confused. It's hard to tell what kind of car the Leon's supposed to be - which means that buyers just opt for the default Golf instead.



Skoda Octavia The "value" Golf...

...but isn't the Golf supposed to be good value? The Octavia offers more car for your money, but Skoda aren't permitted to use the very latest VAG technology as a result. Still, it's probably the most sensible choice of the lot - at least it's honest in that it's a decent quality, good value car with zero excitement or panache.

- It seems that this may finally be catching-up with VW: Séat have recently been found wanting in terms of sales figures. This comes as no surprise to me, but apparently VW will axe the brand if things don't improve...so, bearing that in mind: Why would VW want to add Alfa to their portfolio? They already have too many variations of a theme - all they're going to be doing is cannibalising their own sales and destroying a famous brand by turning their range into yet more badge-engineered Golfs or Passats. It seems stupid, to say the least.